song rec for this chapter is I'll Be Okay by my boys, Why Don't We<3 because it's very much Hanniel coded. it's in the media above. don't skip the a/n at the end of this chapter! <3

053| This Phobia

~K O M I S O L A~

Oh, we are having exams.

That was all I could say to myself today when I stepped into class and saw everyone reading. I felt so unserious because I hadn't picked up my book not once to read, and I wasn't even sure what paper we would have today.

Either English Language or Biology sha.

I settled down and then proceeded to bring out my note to read, except I wasn't sure what subject we were writing an examination on. So I nudged Hanniel next to me who gave me a weird look. "Don't look at me like that. What subject are we writing on today?"

To say Hanniel look astounded would be an... understatement?

Why did he look like he'd heard something new to him? Something he'd never heard in his life before or seen?

"What?" I asked.

"How... you don't know what we're writing on, Komisola?"

I'll ignore that pronunciation this time. He's slowly getting better though.

"English or Biology, abeg?"

"Physics," Hanniel deadpanned and shook his head, his facial expression somewhere between the lines of disappointment and astonishment.

But... Physics.

I didn't even know what to say.

I could probably resort to some last minute reading. The more pressure, the... honestly, I didn't know.

Last minute reading didn't do shit for me as always. I'd forgotten I was the type of person who had to calm the fuck down before writing an exam instead of forcing myself to learn things I didn't want to.

People who were done with the exam lingered by the lockers in the hallways, others were probably in the cafeteria or other buildings. But it was weird that Hanniel still wasn't through writing.

Not gonna lie, Hanniel gave me the i write everything i know and ask for extra paper vibe. Like a know-it-all, but coded. Don't know if I made sense.

I didn't even notice that the Aussie boy had come out of the hall and was SMILING.

Who smiles after a Physics exam?! Help?!

"Are you fine, Hanniel?" I had to ask. I sounded horrified and I actually was.

"Great," Hanniel responded, "how was your exam?"

Sigh.

"Truthfully, I calculated my score in the hall. Let's say seventy-five marks out of hundred? Why are you even smiling?"

Hanniel's smile turned into full-blown laughter. "Your school's cruel."

And just like that, his smile completely disappeared and he walked off. To God knows where.

~

"There." Hanniel handed over a chocolate drink to me as we sat on the bleachers. We were done with exams for today. Tomorrow, we go again. I looked down at the chocolate drink in my hand and fought the urge to smile... just a little.

"Thank you," I appreciated and poked the straw on the packet into the drink. "Physics was good, yeah?"

I liked this. What, you might be asking?

Before Hanniel, I would never bring up a conversation with someone. Willingly. I didn't even have anyone to talk to. All I had was this phobia for people, especially males. I couldn't talk to a boy or stay near a boy, it drove me crazy.

Now I felt so normal. I actually had a friend. I'd come to this realization so many times but it was still so hard to believe.

"I have one rule for exams, Komisola; never determine the outcome of your results yourself. It's like prophesying and it could either go wrong or right, because well... there's no basis to lay on."

I stared at the Aussie boy in front of me. He was actually saying something sensible but I think I had to address this issue now.

"Hanniel, you'll have to stop calling me Komisola."

Hanniel frowned. "It's your name. It's not my fault I can't pronounce Yoruba even if I am half-Yoruba."

I couldn't stop myself from laughing. "Even your Yoruba sounds bad."

The Aussie boy rolled his eyes at me and quietly went back to sipping his chocolate drink.

We both sat in silence and I watched the empty field, savoring every bit of my chocolate drink. "What?"

I turned to look at Hanniel, who looked like he'd been caught red-handed doing something secretly. "What?"

"Why're you looking at me and smiling? Do I have something on my face?"

Hanniel cleared his throat, almost choking on the chocolate drink he was taking and I burst out laughing in disbelief. "Don't kill yourself, Cardin."

He waved me off dismissively and while beating his chest, responded, "I wasn't... how..." A frustrated sigh followed. He had given up on explaining.

"Please stop staring at me like the chocolate drink is on my face-"

"Ow!"

God abeg.

"What happened to you?" I was so confused as he bent over and frantically scratched his right eye. "What?!"

"I don't know!" he exclaimed. He sounded like he was about to cry. "Something just entered my eye!"

"Calm down, will you? What entered your eye?"

"I said something, I don't know," Hanniel snapped, and I gave him a stink eye instantly.

"Look at the person I'm even concerned about. May that eye become red." I hissed, standing up but the Aussie boy was quick to hold my hand and stop me from leaving.

"Well, can you like... help? This has happened before and my mum was the one who helped."

"Tell your mummy to come and help you then." It was my turn to snap as I snatched my arm from his hold.

"Please." Hanniel called out, voice heavy with desperation. I rolled my eyes and with dragging feet, turned back. I sat back on the bleachers and inching closer to Hanniel, I did what he'd requested. So absentmindedly until I realized our proximity. My face literally hovered over his and... my phobia.

My heart raced a little. Scratch that. It was racing so fast. My stomach was so warm and all fuzzy but I still felt scared. I couldn't shake off that feeling of fear. I tried my best to block out every memory that fought hard to resurface. But at the same time, knowing it wasn't my brother who was at my front but Hanniel was so calming.

Hanniel was harmless. He wasn't Davies. And this feeling was just more overwhelming. Hanniel made me anxious, but in a good way.

The Aussie boy was at peace once again, eyes fluttering open at me and widening as they bore into mine. I tried to ignore how they drifted down to my lips and flew back up, and he continued staring.

I dared to inch even closer.

I needed to do this. But did I actually have the courage to?

"My phobia," I said to Hanniel, whose face was so daringly close to mine. "I..."

"You're just checking to see if you're scared of being this close to me, aren't you?" Hanniel asked, to which I gave a small nod.

I don't want to. It's not fair on either of us.

"Being this close to me shouldn't scare you, Komisola. You shouldn't be afraid."

"I'm also anxious," I added, "but in a good way. That also scares me. I don't think I should do this."

And with that, I withdrew, tearing my gaze away from his face and staring into nothingness. A soft sigh followed from Hanniel and I avoided making eye contact with him at all.

You've gone crazy, Komisola. What's wrong with you?

a/n: haew😭 i wrote this and asked myself what it was that i just wrote. it's the way hanniel has no problem with Komisola using him to test if her phobia' still as serious as before for me :( he's a finished man, i'm sorry to say.

and komisola? this girl's not ready to admit it😭 everything is so glaring 😭 it is well.

your thoughts on this chapter? i apologize for my updates not being frequent as when i started this book. I had so many drafts and it was so easy to publish like 3 parts in a week, but now I'm so busy with everything and tired. life is so tiring, my author's note about to surpass the length of the actual chapter 😭 bye abeg.

<3