Chapter 21

Audrey threw herself on her bed and tried to muffle her cries in her pillow. She could hardly remember the last time she felt so hurt by someone's words. She had been called worse by many, but the fact that it had been Ringo who had used that word...it cut her deeply. She sniffed as she sat up. Taking her pillow into her arms, she leaned against the headboard.

"He thinks I'm a whore." She whispered. "A whore." She repeated sadly. She took in a deep breath trying to regain control of herself again. She looked at the photo on her nightstand. It had been so long since she had seen Grace. It was better that way...to stay away from her. Audrey couldn't imagine Grace knowing about the life she led. Moving to Manchester with their Aunt Rose had been the smartest thing Grace could have done. Still, she was worried about her. She knew Frank was using her as leverage to get her to do whatever he wanted. For a second, Audrey had thought he was bluffing. How could he know where to find Grace? She hadn't visited her in years despite Grace's pleas...and she had never told Grace where she was living to keep her safe. But she knew Frank had resources...and if Frank had gone looking for Audrey after all these years, he knew very well he'd need to have a bargaining chip to get her to do what he wanted- and Grace would be his only option. No...Audrey was certain Frank wasn't bluffing...that wasn't his style.

Audrey laid down on her side and cuddled with the pillow. As she thought about everything she had lived in the past months, she couldn't help but get angry. Angry that Frank had been right. He had told her from the very beginning to never get attached to any of her "assignments". And she had broken that rule this time. With everyone. She had grown close to John. Enjoying his company, allowing herself to care about him and his life...letting him become a friend. And Ringo...she had opened her heart to him without even realizing it. She had fought it...told herself countless times to not get involved, tried to keep her distance, but he hadn't made it easy...in fact he had made it absolutely impossible. And now he had seen her with Frank. If he hadn't believed John before about her not being a good catch, he had certainly made it clear now what he thought about her.

"A whore...that's what he thinks of me." she said softly as a tear fell down her face. Despite her wanting to get away from that life, it was evident that is all she'd ever be. She was good at that. She could please a man physically, but she had no idea what it meant to be emotionally involved with someone. After a few minutes, she sat back up. She sniffed and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She cleared her throat and stood up. She was done sulking about what had happened with Ringo. It was better he had gotten angry with her anyway; now she wouldn't have to worry about explaining Frank to him and she could focus on getting John and Cynthia out of this whole mess.

Audrey walked into her closet and grabbed a change of clothes before going into the bathroom to take a shower. Showering was always a bit therapeutic for her. She somehow felt that she could wash her body of everything she had put it through. It was also a place she could let go and simply cry out her frustrations and sadness. By the time she was out, she felt like a different person. She decided to forget about Ringo for the time being, but it wasn't as easy as she had thought. As she walked out into her living room, she found him sitting there, waiting for her.

She looked at him, surprised to see him there. He gave her a small smile, which quickly faded when she didn't return it. She walked into the kitchen as she put her hair into a ponytail without saying a word. She was putting away some dishes when she felt Ringo walk in.

"Audrey..." he said.

"I thought I told you to leave. Why are you still here?" she said without looking at him.

"We need to talk."

"You've said enough. I don't need to hear anything more."

"Yes you do." Ringo said as he took the plate that was in her hand and set it down.

Audrey finally looked at him; she sighed and crossed her arms in front of her.  "Okay...so talk." she said coldly.

"I'm sorry about how I acted." he began.

"You know..." Audrey said, "You men think that with a simply I'm sorry things just get forgotten. Well they don't!"

"It's not a cop out. I really am embarrassed at how I acted...about the things I said to you...and I feel terrible about it...but I just lost it when I saw you with that...man." Ringo continued. "I didn't mean to offend you...or to hurt you."

"I'd have to care in order for you to hurt me..." Audrey glared at him. "And I don't..."

"But you do..."Ringo half smiled. "I know you care."

Audrey's anger surged. "Don't assume you know me...because you don't!" she replied annoyed.

"I know you more than you'd like me to know."

"Don't be cocky! You don't know anything about me!"

"I know you care about me...even if you've been trying to push me away."

"Now why would I care about someone who thinks I'm a whore?" Audrey said as she walked past him and headed to the front door. "Now, please...just leave." She said as she opened the door.

Ringo sighed as he walked towards her. Audrey didn't bother looking at him as she held the door open. But Ringo didn't walk through the door. Instead, he took hold of Audrey's waist and pinned her against it, just as Frank had done.

Audrey gasped as she heard the door shut behind her.

"What are you doing?" she asked Ringo who was now inches away from her face.

"Do I need to draw it out for you?" he questioned boldly.

"This isn't funny, Ringo." She said as she placed her hands against his chest and tried to push him away. Despite her attempt, Ringo wouldn't budge. The more she pushed, the wider Ringo's smile grew, which infuriated Audrey.

"Stop being a—" Audrey began to say, but Ringo pressed his lips against hers. Audrey resisted, struggling to push Ringo away from her. When he finally moved back, Audrey slapped him.

"I know what you're trying to do!" Audrey said upset, knowing he was imitating what Frank had done a couple of hours ago as he left her flat. She only wished she could react to Frank the way she had with Ringo, but Ringo didn't inspire fear in her the way Frank did.

"I just want to kiss you."

"Go to Hell! You think this is a game? Well I'm not a toy you can play with whenever you want!" Audrey said.

Without reacting to her words, Ringo leaned in again and kissed Audrey again, more forceful this time. Audrey continued to struggle, trying to push Ringo away until he finally grabbed her hands and placed them on the door next to her head, intertwining his fingers with hers. Audrey still wouldn't kiss him back, trying to move her face away from his. She finally succeeded but Ringo continued kissing her cheek and moved to her neck.

"I'm...not here...to play a... game." She heard Ringo say.

"Then why are you here? What do you want?" Audrey said softly as she ceased struggling.

Ringo abruptly stopped kissing her and brought his face up towards hers. He released her right hand and she felt him tilt her head to face him.

"I just want you." Ringo said sweetly. "Just you. I've wanted you since the day I saw you on the train when we were filming."

Audrey looked at Ringo's deep blue eyes and she felt tears in her own eyes.

"Why? Why would you want someone like me?" she cried. "I'm no one."

"You're everything to me...don't you see that, Audrey?" Ringo said as he bought her other hand down and set it on his shoulder while he wrapped both of his hands around her waist. "Haven't you noticed I'm completely smitten with you? You're driving me absolutely crazy...I can't stop thinking about you...I get hopping mad just thinking about you being with another man...seeing you with him today...I completely lost it...and I said things to you that I didn't mean...I didn't mean any of it. I don't care what you've done in your past...I only care about now...and I want you for me...I want you to be mine and only mine."

"But you don't." Audrey said with tears falling down her cheek. "I'm not good for you."

"Let me decide that, eh?" Ringo said. He leaned in and traced her tears with light kisses before finding her mouth. Audrey could taste the saltiness of her tears as Ringo kissed her deeply. This time she responded to his kiss and Ringo took it as a sign to bring her closer to him. Audrey moved her hands through his hair as his hands roamed the small of her back. Ringo pulled back long enough to lean down and take Audrey in his arms. He walked them into her room and set her down on the bed.

"Alright, let's do this properly" Ringo said as he looked at Audrey. He moved some hair off her face and looked at her. He could see a bit of confusion in her eyes and for some reason, it brought a smile to his face. He leaned in to kiss her, but she stopped him.

"What's wrong?" Ringo asked.

"I...uhh...are you sure you want to..."

"Never been more sure, love." Ringo insisted as he once again tried to kiss her. This time he succeeded, lifting her up to meet his lips. She responded to his kiss...to his touch.  Audrey could feel Ringo undoing the buttons on her blouse and she began to mimic the action by unbuttoning his. He slipped the blouse off her shoulders before she had a chance to finish with the last button of his shirt. Ringo began nuzzling her neck as he traced his fingers along her bra strap. He tipped her back onto the bed and she felt his hand trying to unbutton her pants. Despite the desire she felt for Ringo at the moment, she couldn't help but feel an intense guilt creep into her. Ringo had managed to pull her pants off before Audrey made the decision to stop what was going on.

"I can't do this." She said as she pulled away from Ringo. She pushed herself towards the headboard of the bed and pulled her knees up to her. Audrey could hear Ringo breathing heavily. She looked at him as he knelt there on the bed, his shirt hanging from the side of the bed, his hair tousled and a look of disbelief in his eyes. He finally sunk down onto his heels and sighed.

"What the hell is going on Audrey?" he finally asked as he tried to slow down his breathing. "I know you want this...you say you can't do this, but your body is telling me otherwise. You want this to happen as much as I do. Why are you resisting?" Ringo continued. There was no anger in his voice, it was more of a confirmation mixed in with uncertainty.

"You're right." Audrey replied after a few seconds. "I want this to happen...I want you like I've never wanted anyone else before...but..."she trailed off as she dropped her glance.

Ringo looked at Audrey. She looked so vulnerable. "But what?" Ringo asked softly as he got close to her.

"But I can't do this without....without you knowing the truth." Audrey replied as she looked into his eyes. "It wouldn't be right...it wouldn't be fair to you...not knowing the kind of person you're getting involved with."

"Audrey...I've told you...I don't care about your past...."

"That's the problem, Ringo. It's not my past...it's my present." Audrey said.

 




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