Law laid on his back, eyes locked on the ceiling, his brain too overworked from the last few days. A sigh pushed passed his parted lips for the millionth time since he'd returned to the apartment. The sun would be up soon and the tv could still be heard in the living room, he assumed you hadn't been to bed either. Sleeplessness would only bring on the possibility of more anxiety attacks. You needed rest and this situation wasn't helping.

It bothered him that he was even thinking about how you were sitting up at night worrying about him coming home while also knowing things would still be tense when he did.

Why did he have to be in this situation?

His tired mind drifted back to the night you spent with him after first witnessing your attack. You were so vulnerable, all of the walls of sass and attitude you'd built to keep him out had temporarily crumbled down.

He'd watched your sleeping face with a sinking sensation in his stomach. This wasn't what he wanted.

How did this sneak up on him?

The sun had finally risen and you decided to move your sleep deprived self into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. You'd spent the entire night awake on the sofa terrified of whatever conversation was going to take place. A chill shot down your spine when you heard his door finally open.

"Coffee?" you weakly offered when Law entered the room with a yawn.

Without a word Law made his way to the coffee maker taking his preferred mug from the hook below the kitchen cabinets. After getting his coffee he dropped down into the seat across from you, his tattooed hand sliding a small piece of paper across the table to you.

It was a very worn wallet sized photograph, just by the looks it had to have been taken when you were a kid. The photo was a young girl with brunette piggy tails, big bright eyes and a grin to match. There was something eerily familiar about her that you couldn't quite place.

Law's piercing gaze swept over you observing every aspect of the photo with a confused pout.

"That's Lami," he murmured, "my younger sister."

Younger sister?!

You had no idea the man you were engaged to had siblings. Something terrible must've happened if he never spoke of her.

Suddenly it felt like you'd swallowed a boulder.

"Despite the laws, my parents loved each other and us very much. We were lucky. Forced families are often resented, that's why I don't agree with it." he'd closed his eyes trying to keep himself together, "When I was ten I was at a sleepover at a friend's house down the street when we woke up to sirens at my house. Apparently an outlet in the kitchen sparked. Lami ... Was the only person who left the house alive." 

Though his eyes remained closed the pain was evident on his face. You couldn't bring yourself to speak, patiently waiting for him to continue.

"She was in intensive care for three days before her little body finally gave up."

Your eyes began to burn. No wonder he was so drained and upset when he came home after that accident. His reluctance to work in pediatrics made more sense. Reliving the pain of losing his sister, his family must've been awful.

"Rosinante was a friend of the family who couldn't have children of his own, so the adoption was quick." his stormy eyes opened slowly falling over you.

He was impressed with himself for making it down that painful path without breaking. You, on the other hand were a crying hiccuping mess. For the first time you really connected and felt Law's emotions, he finally wasn't holding back and even though he didn't cry you could definitely sense his despair and heart break as he spoke.

"Cora-ya - er - Rosinante, is a couples therapist appointed by the WG." Law glanced uncomfortably at his now cold coffee, "Corazon is his nickname, I suppose someone thought it was cheeky. He suggested we have moments of vulnerability to help us understand each other." a slight embarrassed blush painted his cheeks, "This is a safe place to speak about painful things and insecurities."

You tried to catch your breath as you dried your face with a paper towel he'd handed you.

A safe space? You definitely needed that and felt he was being truthful. Law had never lied, he was usually painfully blunt, so you knew he meant what he said.

"Look, I just wanted you to know why... it was so hard the other day." his voice was starting to shake, "I may have overreacted."
"No," you finally rasped, "if anything you under-reacted. I-I was being honest when I said nothing happened that night. Marco wanted to talk. He had hugged me though so I guess that's where the cologne came from. I was scared and I didn't want you to jump to conclusions."

"What about that night in November?" his eyes watched your every movement, "you came home with that same scent."

He could see you choking up.

Instantly his stomach dropped, but his cool façade remained as he brought the coffee mug to his lips attempting to wash away the bitterness on his tongue.

Your face burned while a painful knot formed in your throat.

"I didn't want to tell you in case we were found out." you lowered your gaze to your fidgety hands.
"Bullshit." he muttered drawing your attention back.
"I-if someone finds out, I don't want you going down with me." you strained.
"Your unwillingness to trust me is unnerving, F/N."
"It's not that..." you paused, "ok, maybe at first it was. B-but I didn't know you."
"And you still don't." he murmured, "Tell me what happened."
You held your breath for a few beats and exhaled, "He showed up at the shop after his bachelor outting with the boys...we hadn't seen each other in six months - since the day they were assigned to each other. He - hum - he wanted to properly say goodbye. I should have stopped it."
"But you couldn't." he guessed.

You shook your head, "We cut off all communication after that. Even the next day at the wedding I had Usopp and Vivi deliver the cake and collect the final payment from Ms.Charlotte."

Law hummed taking in your explanation. He wasn't sure why all of this made him so uncomfortable and...angry? Normally this sort of nonsense didn't bother him. Plenty of women had come and gone. It didn't matter. For some reason he was disappointed in you for turning out like everyone else. Perhaps he expected the government to match him with someone who would respect the relationship. It was forced and he didn't want to marry a stranger but at least he was trying.

"So, the other night?" he pressed you to continue.
"Ugh... He wanted to tell me she's pregnant." you sighed again, "I don't know why he called me out in the middle of the night. Maybe he thought it'd be like last time. But... I don't want that."
"What does it matter to you if she's pregnant?" he sounded genuinely interested.
"It's complicated, but I guess they think she's cheating on him and the kid might be proof of that. It's ridiculous and I told them I want nothing to do with it." you explained feeling a bit more comfortable.
"Them?" he rested his chin in his palm as he leaned his elbow against the kitchen table.
"His stupid brothers." you avoided eye contact again, "They're planning something."
"Planning? Why does it have to involve you?"
"They want to catch her or something, and they think if that happens they can petition for Marco and I to be together. But I know it doesn't work that easily and I don't think... I don't think it's something I want anymore."

Law lost his composure for such a brief moment you didn't even notice. That galloping feeling struck his chest again as he carefully gulped down a breath.

"Meaning?"
"I've made it this far trying to get over a relationship that can't be, and even if there is a small chance for this stupid plan to work, chances of it all falling apart are even greater. I can't get my hopes up just to go through it all over again." you ran a shaky hand through your messy hair, "More importantly, you're my partner now. I should be focusing on building a relationship with you."

Law was a bit shocked, he hadn't expected those words to leave your lips. He was suddenly overwhelmed, this feeling was new and he wasn't sure he was ready to accept it.

"I know it might be hard, but I hope you can forgive me."

He stood abruptly, the sound of the chair scraping against the linoleum startled you.

"I," he cleared his throat, "I need a moment."

Before you could react he brushed passed you and slammed his bedroom door.

"Shit." you slouched back.

Had any of this actually helped at all?