Playlist suggestion : Going Under by Evanescence

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"So go on and scream

Scream at me I'm so far away (so far away)

I won't be broken again (again)

I'vegot to breathe - I can't keep going under." 

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Yoongi turned to the other side and felt the empty and cold bed beside him. He rubbed his eyes and got up to find Jimin missing from the room. The clock on the nightstand read three in the morning. Yoongi got out of bed and went in search of Jimin.

Yoongi checked everywhere in the house and decided that Jimin was nowhere to be found. It had been a rough evening for Jimin. He was definitely behaving weirder from his original self. Yoongi had thought that it was the alcohol talking but now he realized that the situation was something completely different. Did Jimin leave him?

Yoongi started to worry. He tried calling Jimin but it went straight to voicemail. Yoongi pulled out his hair in frustration. He could not understand where the younger male could go. Yoongi decided to call Taehyung.

The call connected and rang for a long time before it was picked up by a groggy voice.

- "Hello?"

- "Taehyung?"

- "No, actually this is Jungkook. Taehyung is sleeping."

- "Oh!"

- "Is there any message for hyung?"

- "Actually is Jimin there by any chance?"

- "Jimin hyung? Not at all. The last time I saw him was at your place, Yoongi hyung."

- "Okay. I got to go."

- "No hyung, wait!"

- "What Jungkook?"

- "Is Jimin hyung missing?"

- "Yes."

- "Can I help?"

- "No Jungkook, you cannot help. I will call you back when I find him."

- "Okay hyung!"

Yoongi cried out in frustration. If Jimin was not in his home then there was no one else Jimin would go to. As far as yoongi knew him, Jimin was not the type of person to share his worries with anyone. Yoongi racked his brains and tried to think where he should search for him.

Deciding after a few minutes that thinking would take him nowhere, Yoongi took his coat and left the house in search of the younger male. Yoongi cursed at himself. He should have understood that the younger male was hurting. He should have kept an eye on him.

Yoongi was frustrated on Taehyung. Taehyung was supposed to be Jimin's best friend. He did not understand Taehyung's intentions. Whenever Taehyung would be with Yoongi, he would ask him to save Jimin but in front of Jimin he would always challenge Jimin. There was something deep in the situation. Something which Yoongi did not know and something which he had to found out if he ever wanted Jimin to love him back.

Yoongi decided to start his search by walking towards Jin's café, but Jimin was nowhere in sight. Yoongi tried finding him in every direction that could be taken from the building. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was already four in the morning. An hour had gone by and Jimin was missing. Yoongi tried calling Jimin but everytime it went to voice call.

Yoongi thought about filing a complaint, but for filing a police complaint a person had to be missing twenty four hours. Yoongi had never felt so frustrated in his life. The weather was cold outside. He was sure that Jimin would be without a coat.

Yoongi returned back to the building and sat on the stairs desperately trying to come up with some idea. Jimin's home was far from this place and there was no park or anything nearby so where could the younger male go. Suddenly an idea hit Yoongi. His heart hammered against his chest. This would be his last attempt. If he did not find Jimin there then the situation would be too difficult. Yoongi took a deep breath and walked behind the building.

Yoongi spotted someone and sighed. His assumption had been correct. Jimin was sitting in the middle of the basket-court staring at the sky. Yoongi had never felt so relieved in his life. He thanked the heavens and ran towards Jimin.

- "Jimin?"

The older male pulled Jimin into a hug. Yoongi wanted to cry his heart out. He was so scared that something bad had happened to Jimin. He wanted to kiss and slap Jimin at the same time. Yoongi felt Jimin's heart-beat against his skin.

Jimin heard the older male choking. He had never imagined that he would see Yoongi crying.

- "Hyung, are you crying?"

Yoongi looked at Jimin. Yoongi looked mad. There were tears glistening in his eyes. Jimin had never seen Yoongi in such an emotional state. Yoongi smacked Jimin's head.

- "Pabo, do you have any idea how scared I was?"

Jimin never understood what force dragged them towards each other. He often thought that both of them were just attracted to each other's looks. Jimin thought he knew that there was no such thing as love. Love was something which he had poured his heart into and it had turned into a failed relationship. He had always thought that love meant only giving but today at that moment he realized that love also meant taking.

Both of them knew each other for a short time. Jimin had seen relationships of ten years or longer fail before his own eyes but this older male was able to make him feel such love which he had never felt in his life. This love was different than what he got from his parents or Taehyung. This love is different than what he felt for him. This love that Yoongi unknowingly and unconditionally felt for Jimin and which Jimin had started feeling for Yoongi was something different, something spiritual.

- "I just came out for some fresh air. I am not really that drunk, you know."

- "In the middle of the night? You could have called me. What do you need to think so much?"

- "A lot."

- "Why?"

Jimin looked at the distraught look of the young man. He pulled Yoongi towards him and both of them sat on the ground. They stared for some time at the sky when Jimin started speaking.

- "I have a past."

- "I thought so."

- "I think you should know the truth of it all."

- "I don't need to."

- "But I need to come clean. I have been bearing this pain for a long time."

- "It's okay!"

- "No hyung, it is not. I have found happiness after a long time. I want to pursue it."

- "Can I know about it?"

Jimin smiled amused. Yoongi looked absolutely clueless about where the conversation was going. The older male was incapable of realising that his happiness was none other than Yoongi himself.

The night was beautiful. The skies were clear after a long time. There were numerous stars and the full moon in the sky. Yoongi's pale skin reflected against the moonlight. Jimin had never seen such a beautiful sight ever before in his life. The very existence of Yoongi made him question his knowledge of everything in his life. Jimin pulled Yoongi's hand into his own.

- "Yoongi, you are my happiness."

Yoongi met Jimin's eyes. Jimin had called him by his name. He wanted to feel happy. He wanted to shout, laugh and cry but something made him feel that there was more to this conversation that he should be dreading.

Jimin looked at Yoongi's confused face. He sighed and looked at their hands touching.

- "I used to be a good student. You know the typical nerdy one but I always liked sports and painting. I was good in mostly everything. In fifth standard I cracked a spell bee completion one level higher than my age group. After that a few more achievements, school president, first boy and stuff."

- "That's impressive."

- "Hardly! Everyone thought I should become a prosecutor or something but I chose art history. Mom and dad supported me. They were just happy that their son was doing something. I was happy too. I passed college and university with pretty good marks. Then I decided to do doctorate."

- "Oh my god! Jimin, you are technically a prodigy. I feel ashamed."

Jimin grabbed Yoongi's face and looked at his eyes.

- "You chose who you wanted to be hyung. You chased your dream and achieved it. That is so inspiring! Whereas I destroyed mine with my own hands."

- "Jimin!"

- "No Yoongi, listen to me. I applied for my doctorate degree to Busan University. It was the best in the country. I got accepted to and on the first day I met Taehyung. He was this fresh breath in my life. We became the best of friends and I started enjoying everything."

- "Practically I am pissed at Taehyung at the moment."

- "I understand him. I know from where his anger is coming."

- "How?"

- "I met someone else in Busan, who changed my life forever. I was young and foolish. I fell into his trap and he used the chance to destroy my life. He was the kind of man everyone looked up to. He was young, handsome and successful, something very few people could dream to achieve. I was one among them. The first day when he spoke to me, I crushed hard on him. He understood that. He used it to make the first move and I allowed it. I allowed him to take away my body and soul every fucking day."

Yoongi looked at Jimin and saw tears in the younger male's eyes. He pulled Jimin towards him. Jimin hid his face in Yoongi's chest.

- "He is married. He has a son who is almost my age. I knew that the whole thing was never going to work out but I let him use me. He verbally abused me everyday. He called me a faggot for being gay when he was one in a closet himself. Taehyung knew about the whole thing. He tried to stop me but I ignored him. I almost broke up my connection with my family. My research suffered. When my friends partied during weekends I spent it in his bed. I felt as if giving him my body would someone keep him with me. I sold my soul to the devil."

Yoongi felt tears in his own eyes. He could understand the level of pain the younger male had suffered.

- "Jimin, you don't have to continue. I understand."

- "No, you don't yet."

- "Jiminie!"

- "Yoongi, let me complete. I might not get the courage to confess again."

- "Okay"

- "One day I confessed to him that I loved him and I wanted to stay with him. That was the day he got mad. That was the first day he raised his hand on me. I wanted to leave. He said that he had the power to destroy my career. I knew that he could do so. I accepted the situation I had got myself into. I tried my best to please him but he was never satisfied. A few days after that he left me for real promising to destroy my career when I told him that we should let the world know about us. I realized my mistake. I realized that I had let down my parents down, Taehyung and did the only thing I could think of..."

- "What did you do?"

- "I tried to kill myself. Believe me it was the only possible way left, but fuck my luck, Taehyung came back on time and took me to the hospital. By some miracle I survived and told everything to dad. Then I decided to quit everything and moved back to Seoul."

Yoongi crushed Jimin hard against his chest. Yoongi had suspected that there was something in Jimin's past that had broken him but he had never realized that he would listen to something so heartbreaking. Yoongi felt his blood boil. He wanted to kill that man who had destroyed Jimin's life.

- "Jiminie, giving up is not an option."

- "No Yoongi, you don't understand! This was my punishment. I was just living my life until the day I met you. You changed everything. You brought in sunshine to my dark life. I know after hearing this you might not want to ever see me again. I won't blame you for that. I just want you to know everything."

- "No Jimin, don't say that. You were not at fault for this."

- "Yes I was."

- "That motherfucker destroyed your life. Why would you be at fault for this? You were just in love."

- "Yoongi, don't you see I had an option. I knew very well the consequences of my action, yet I got myself into this situation."

- "Jimin don't say that."

Jimin pulled himself from Yoongi and stood up. He looked at the opposite direction and sighed. The thing that he was going to confess to Yoongi now could change everything. But he had too. If there was a chance in hell that he could have a relationship with Yoongi he wanted it to be an honest one.

- "Yoongi that person... he was my supervisor. My thesis supervisor. A professor of my college. I knew very well what could a relationship with him lead me to but yet I went on with it. I am definitely at fault here. I destroyed my own life with my own hands and there is no going back."

Jimin turned around to look at Yoongi. He saw Yoongi looking at him with a solemn expression. He had expected this to happen but for the first time in a long time Jimin felt relieved. He had got everything off his chest. Yoongi had the full right to turn his back on him but Jimin would forever be grateful to Yoongi to at least give him a chance. A chance was very important in everyone's life.

- "I know I am not in a position to say this but Yoongi I will accept whatever will be your decision."

Jimin turned back and walked out of the court. He had hoped that Yoongi would come running after him and stop him from leaving but shit like that happened only in movies. This is true life. Here you had to face the consequences for your action. 

The sun had almost risen. The pinkish hue of the dawn was relaxing in his eyes. Jimin decided to wait for sometime at Yoongi's flat and after the sun would fully rise he could go back home. There was no way in hell that he would be a burden on Yoongi. Jimin felt like crying but he held back tears. The person who said that past does not matter was a motherfucking liar. A person can grow out of his past but can never leave it behind or deny it. It would forever be a part of them.