For the next two days we were all confined to the train. They made sure to get out of District 2 as soon as possible and when they reached District 1 they kept the train in the station, under guard of peace keepers of course.

This had to be a good thing; obviously they don’t want me dead and would prefer me to get to the Capitol in one piece. So they don’t suspect anything as of yet.

That first night after the incident was impossible. I don’t think I slept more than a few hours. Not in between the nightmares. I feel terrible because Peeta was up all night with me and he didn’t get any sleep either.

When I wasn’t having nightmares I was sat up with my stomach churning over the fact that Caius and Haymitch had only seen the very beginning of my appearance in 2 and I don’t know what else has been broadcast. Maybe they’re leaving the Capitol in suspense so that they can create a bigger spectacle than ever before. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m on the train, and I will be here until I’m told otherwise.

I wanted to be back in 12. That’s all I wanted.

On the second night I had managed to find somewhat of an appetite so I joined the others at dinner.

“How are you feeling dear?” Effie said, still holding back.

I must have been really bad after it happened.

“Much better Effie, do you know when we’re starting up again?” I put a little bit of food on my plate and took a bite of my bread bun.

“Oh, no. They haven’t given word to me yet.” She looked slightly upset, as if she was being snubbed by the Capitol.

“It shouldn’t be too long Effie.” Peeta looked over with a warm smile. “I’m sure this really took the wind out of them. They probably have as much idea as we do.”

“I suppose you’re right.” She said.

The rest of dinner was mostly spent in silence. I was waiting to get some time alone with Peeta, there was so much to talk to him about and I hadn’t spent much time with him lately. I’ve been kind of lost in my own head.

I managed to catch him later in the night, when Effie and the others had retreated for the night.

“I would have thought you wanted to get an early night.” I said as I walked into his room.

He was sitting by the window with the lights dimmed, looking out over the last of the Districts. “Sleep isn’t really something that welcomes me anymore.” He said without looking up.

Sometimes he sounded so much older than he was. I can't imagine what those victors that won so many years ago must experience every day. They must be so tired.

“Do you know anything?” I asked.

“No one knows when we’re leaving.”

“No, I mean about what… what happened.” This time he turned to face me.

“Not really, I know that they’re searching for the shooter, the district isn’t happy at all.” He got up and walked over to the bed, leaning on the bedpost.

“Did they catch them?” I asked.

“Why do you want to know?” He said slowly.

“I don’t want to see them strung up in the town square I just want to know why they did it.” I heard my voice get louder and a little guilt spread over his face. “Sorry. I’m not trying to get angry. It’s just that everyone sees me as this self-absorbed little Capitol girl and it’s starting to get to me.”

“You could always take advice from Caius. You know, start this thing now.” He sat down and I slumped next to him.

“You know I can't do that. They’ll think I’m just a big joke. I need them to learn to trust me.” My head pounded, sometimes I think I made a big mistake.

He put an arm around me, “I know.”

“I miss Haymitch.” I never knew what it was like to miss my father. I never had one so why would I miss having no one there? Now that I’ve spent time with him, I feel like I know him and I don’t ever want to lose what we have.

“Sadly, so do I.” He chuckled and it made me smile a little.

“Why is District 2 not happy?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Well, suddenly they’re being treated like any other District. You can't just have an anonymous member of your District shoot at a Capitol victor and expect to get away with it. There is a whole lot of mutual angst going on right now. At least that’s what Cinna says.” He shrugged.

“So they hate me and the Capitol. Does that mean that I failed completely?” Peeta laughed a little.

“I think it means that change is coming.”

“I really hope you’re right.

“I’m not so sure.”

It was the third morning that we finally got the news. I was walking down to breakfast with Peeta when Effie came running up to us and all but dragged us into the dining car.

“I hope you’re ready for the rest of your tour!” Effie sang.

“So they’re all ready for her?” Peeta asked as he sat down to eat.

“Oh yes, very much so. They had to extend all their efforts on finding that wicked person in District 2 before they could carry on with the celebrations.”

“So they caught the person?” I asked.

“Apparently someone has been arrested but more to the point you’ll be getting ready to appear in District 1 at lunch time and then it’s off to the Capitol for tonight!” She squeaked excitedly and almost spilt her tea as it sloshed about in her waving tea cup.

“Have they said why they did it?” I asked.

Effie just looked at me like I was silly to fret over it. “Well… I don’t know the details dear but don’t worry, I’m sure it will all be sorted.”

I guess I have to resign myself to the fact that I’m not going find out anything more.

It was almost like it never happened; I was back to prep teams and girly outfits for another round of showing myself off.

Peeta could tell that I wasn’t happy. He kept shooting me little smiles. It actually got a little annoying after a while.

“I think I should go and wait for my prep team in the chamber.” I said as I stood up and began to walk out.

“I shall see you later dear!” Effie called and I walked even faster.

I was probably sat in there for an hour before it was time to start. They brushed through my knotted hair, they tutted at the purple bags under my eyes and they fussed over my nails, which Peeta had insisted I cut right down so that I couldn’t hurt myself with them.

It only took an hour or two before I was back to the bronzed beauty that the Capitol thought I was. Sometimes it would be nice if they could see the real me.

I was happy to see Cinna again and he gave me a warm hug.

“How are you feeling?” He sat down in front of me and smiled kindly.

“Honestly, I really don’t want to go out there and face another District. Especially not one so similar to District 2. I don’t know if I can do it.”

“You can do it. You’re tough. Besides, there are more peace keepers than I have ever seen on one of these trains and they’re all going to be out in that square. If anyone so much as moves strangely they’ll be on them.”

I sighed. I knew he was right but I was still apprehensive.

“So I’m thinking of going with something all black today, just to give them the impression that you’re not trying to overly draw attention to yourself. We’ll save something stunning for the Capitol crowds.” He gave me another smile and I tried to return one but it was weak. “You’ll be fine, okay?”

He stood up and gave me a kiss on the forehead before he started getting me dressed.

I felt very ill by the time I needed to head towards the justice building. I didn’t want help from anyone, I can't explain why. I just wanted to try and do it on my own; everyone else’s worry and fretting made me worse. I just needed to get through this appearance.

“Come now! We can't keep the cameras waiting!” Effie said as we climbed into a carriage.

“Are you okay?” Peeta whispered.

“Peeta, stop asking me that, it’s not going to change in the next five minutes.” I snapped.

I did feel guilty after I said it. He was only being kind.

When we reached the justice building I was escorted by a peace keeper to the waiting area. I could see the mayor approaching but she had to prove herself to get anywhere close to me. When she was finally let through the ranks she came to talk to me.

“Seems like you got quite a fright in the last District.” She said with a smile.

“Uh, well yes. I was shot at.” I said.

“It’s not every day you see that. You made quite the impression. I think the people here actually enjoyed the show for once.” She laughed a little but I didn’t exactly find it funny. “Oh don’t worry, it won't happen here. We have been flooded with these guys,” She gestured to the peace keepers, “since last night. You certainly have a big protection squad out there.”

I smiled weakly and she nodded.

“Just relax, nothing’s going to happen out there. I know it’s probably hard this time. You’ll feel better when you see the ocean of peace keepers.” She laughed. “Anyway, good luck.”

She gave me another grin and she was off.

“Well that was the strangest conversation I’ve ever had.” I muttered.

I could hear that I was being introduced and I had to breathe for a long time before my feet would even carry me out to the stage.

Breathe, just breathe.

I walked out slowly and didn’t wave. I barely even smiled. I could hear my ragged breathing as I stepped up to the podium. I didn’t realise just how foreboding it was; it was just a few lumps of wood put together but to me it represented something else entirely. I didn’t touch it, in fact I stood as far back as I could so that I didn’t have to be unnecessarily close to it.

I said what I had to say and when it was time to add anything extra I nodded. I took another breath and looked down at the podium. I had barely looked up from it.

“I want to thank you all for welcoming me, I am sorry to delay this appearance and I want to wish you all luck in the upcoming games. Thank you.” I stepped back and the mayor wished me luck.

I was ushered off the stage by a peace keeper and taken directly to the carriage. I finally let the air out of my lungs and started to relax a little as I saw Peeta and Effie heading back to the carriage.

“Let’s get a move on! Not long until we’re home!” Effie trilled.

It’s great that she thinks we have so much in common. It’s almost as though she thinks we’re basically neighbours.

Once we got back to the train she had me straight off to the prep team. She was convinced that it was going to take a long, long time to get me ready for the Capitol. I don’t know whether to be offended or not.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be home soon and you can forget about that horrible… incident.” Claudine said as she brushed out my hair for what felt like the thousandth time. “We are going to make you look absolutely perfect!”

It was only about seven hours until the train reaches the Capitol and I needed another wash of my hair, another exfoliation and a bath that involved some very milky water. That killed three hours at least.

I’m sorry, that was a horrible expression.

I headed out to the main carriage for a break before an early dinner and then off to see what Cinna has for me. I expect nothing less than perfection for the Capitol.

When I got to the main carriage Effie was sitting on an armchair reading a magazine.

“Oh hello dear, you look refreshed.” She smiled.

“Yes well, a little pampering will do that.” I laughed weakly and walked over to the window to see District 1 passing by.

I sat down and watched as the trees rushed past. The tracks weaved in and out of them, sometimes climbing high above. Sometimes I could see so far across the land that I could see mountains rising up on one side. It’s a beautiful country really. Too bad it’s marred by something evil.

“Hey.” I turned around to see Peeta standing next to me.

“Hi.” I haven’t spoken to him since I snapped earlier.

“Can I sit?” He looked to the empty spot in front of me.

“Peeta I’m sorry I snapped. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” I sighed and he took a seat.

“Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to see if you knew the plans for the Capitol visit?” He said.

“No, I don’t think they have any yet.”

“They patched through a schedule just before.” He raised his eyebrows as if he was expecting me to yell.

I just grunted a little too loudly. I looked over to Effie but she didn’t seem to have heard me. “How does it look?”

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. Seeing as the tour had been… delayed… the start of the Capitol leg was not ideal in their eyes. It was a few days late but they could still make a big appearance.

Tonight was the interview with Caesar, the very first appearance and I think it’s the only one broadcast to the Districts.  Then tomorrow begins the first day.

Day one was a parade through the streets at midday before a formal dinner at night. Day two was showing off my talent for Caesar, almost an all-day thing. Day three I actually have some free time, maybe.

The rest of the time was very similar. Meet and greets with important people, fancy dinner parties, even a photo shoot was on the cards for me this stay. I don’t think I have many moments to myself.

“Wow, this looks like a lot of fun.” I muttered.

“Welcome to the life of a victor.” Peeta said.

“Is this the same for you?”

“Some of it overlaps, all the publicity things are the same, it’s just some other stuff that I have to do. Thanks by the way, for getting me dragged intently to a two week stay.” He whispered the last bit so that Effie wouldn’t hear.

“Excuse you, they like you just as much as me so this probably worked out perfectly for them.” I hissed.

“We’ll be there soon.” He rested his head against the window, looking out in the direction of the Capitol.

“I’m nervous.”

“About what? They aren’t going to shoot at you.” His eyes widened and he looked over at me as if it had just slipped out.

I started to laugh and he smiled uncertainly. “That was cold.” I grinned.

Even though it was an accident it still made me feel better. It wasn’t long before Effie was telling me to get back to my prep team and fix myself up.

I headed back into the prep chamber and sat down silently while they fussed with me. They painted my face and my nails and covered me in bronzed glittering dust that made me look incredibly strange. I may have grown up in the Capitol with all of those things available to me, but they still seem so strange.

When they were finally done my hair was so tightly bound up on my head that I just knew it was going to be painful to let it out. It was high on my head and very elegant. My cheeks were lined with glittery golden shimmer and rhinestones glued to the corners of my eyes. This was more elaborate than ever.

I was almost scared to see my dress.

“Well, they said they had done their best work but I didn’t believe it until just now.” I turned to see Cinna walking in with a smile.

“I think my hair is tugging on my brain. Please don’t tell me that it’s going to make me say anything stupid.”

Cinna laughed. “I promise you’ll be just as sane as ever.”

“So what do you have for me?”

“Something particularly beautiful.” He pulled out a black garment bag and unzipped it to reveal a lot of golden fabric. “Put this on, and try not to disturb your hair.”

As I found my way into it Cinna helped me to arrange it properly and with only a few minor touch ups I was ready to take a look at the finished product.

As I turned to the mirror I gasped. I had thought my face was elaborate but the dress was something else. First there was a tight fabric clinging to me that sat about mid-thigh and had thin spaghetti straps. Flowing from my waist was net-like material in a light tulle that gushed to the ground so gracefully with a short train at the back. The front of my legs was still visible between the tulle. Attached to the back of my dress and with little strings around my wrists were a glittering set of wings, much like the ones I had worn in my first parade experience.

“Cinna…” I said breathlessly.

“Don’t praise me yet, you haven’t seen how high the shoes are.” At this point I didn’t care, I was mesmerised.

It was like I didn’t belong here.

Once the shoes were fitted and I was able to walk with the train and the height I stopped to think for a minute. “Cinna, how exactly am I going to get to the Games Centre, and more importantly, how am I going to get up on stage?”

“All will be sorted, just please, please, don’t tear that with your shoes.”

I didn’t go back out into the main car before we left. Cinna helped me out without being seen by the cameras that were lingering about. I didn’t even get the chance to see Peeta or Effie before we left. It must have taken a long time to get me ready for this.

“What’s that noise?” I asked as Cinna freshened me up back stage of the Games Centre.

“That is your crowd.”

“What?”

“This thing sold out the second they realised that you… were on your way from District 2.”

“You mean, when they realised that I wasn’t dead?” I asked with a little smiled.

“Yes, but it would have sold out even if you were, there’s nothing like a sickeningly lavish funeral.” Cinna said under his breath and I laughed.

“I wish you were wrong about that…” I said, the comment somehow making me feel better.

“You’re going to be introduced in about ten minutes!” A member of the film crew came in and dashed out again, barely even stopping.

It was the biggest night of the season after all.

“Just relax, you’ll be in and out in less than an hour.” Cinna smiled and we started to walk to the entrance to the stage.

I knew it would take at least five minutes to get there with this elaborate costume. Everyone was rushing around, barely even stopping to let me through to the stage. Apparently they were just as under pressure as I was. I can imagine that a mistake for something like this resulted in more than just a good talking to.

Before I knew it they were counting me down and I was taking deep breaths. The next thing I knew I was hit with a hot spot light and I couldn’t hear my own thoughts rushing about inside my head.

Just breathe.

I grinned out towards the sea of people and waved for a minute before I started walking to the chair where Caesar was waiting with a dropped jaw. As I turned to see myself on the screen I almost stopped in my tracks.

I was like an angel walking out on that stage, and that was me being modest. Sometimes I can't believe that Cinna can do the things he can with a few bits of fabric and thread.

Caesar reached out for my hands and pulled me in for a kiss on each cheek before he helped me into a chair to begin the interview.

“Well now Olivia! You have had a wild ride on your victory tour haven’t you?” Caesar looked to the audience for approval and they laughed.

                “Wild is definitely one way to put it.” The laughing continued, they were obviously overjoyed at being here.

I knew that Caesar was going to talk to me about the appearance in District 2, and of course he elaborated once we got further into it.

“So tell me, how did you feel when it happened, I mean, we all know the story but perhaps you could tell us a bit more.” He sat back with a finger to his lips, looking genuinely interested.

I looked down with a wistful little smile. “I will do the best I can to explain it to you but I’m not sure whether I can truly do justice to the moment.” I swallowed. “I think I can say that it has changed me. I think the appearance in District 1 proved that. It was… such a daunting moment for me.” I took a few shaky breaths and the audience was completely silent.

Caesar reached over and took my hand. “What exactly went through your mind?”

“Well thankfully not an arrow.” The crowd didn’t know whether to laugh or just stay silent. “I just want to know why they did what they did. I don’t particularly care if they’re caught or punished, sometimes just a reason will suffice.”

“You’re a better woman than I Miss Hanspark.” The crowd laughed at Caesar and we moved on to more exciting things.

We talked about the next Hunger Games, about what my plans were for the tour and he even tried to get me to spill the beans about my talent before the recording.

Finally, we came to a close and I stood up to wave farewell to the adoring crowd. By the time I was back behind the curtain I could at last let out the breath that I had been holding in. The worst is over, for now.