So.... This isn't an actual chapter... This is an Author's Note. And right now all I can ask for is for all of you to understand. Lately, I haven't been my old cheery self. And I've been depressed, I haven't been cutting myself, which is good. And right now it's hard for me to update this book, I haven't given up on it. But like I said in one of the past chapters, I was inspired to make this book when I was with my ex... And.. At the moment I'm confused with a few things.

This book brings back memories, and... Well, it's hard...

I found out somethings about myself over the time. Like for example, I don't work hard. I don't show you guys my best work. I CAN write better, but I don't try. Neither do I show it. I don't deserve all the reads I got on these books. I don't deserve all the support you all give me. I don't deserve anything I get from you all...

And it's sad to say this but... I actually hate myself, for various reasons. I can't keep a book going because I eventually lose interest within that book, but I haven't for this book. I still intend to update it, I still have plans for this book. And for some reason, I hate that I get so many reads on books that hardly ever get updated, or that I hardly put any effort in. You all say that these books are great, but they aren't.

I used to be so excited about writing this book, but now I have to push myself to write chapters that aren't good quality. And I know that pushing yourself to write something is not good, you have to actually enjoy what you are writing. To be honest, I feel miserable writing at the moment. I don't feel the inspiration anymore. I don't feel like I can put up with pushing myself to do something anymore.

I know these all just sound like excuses to you all..

Tomorrow I'll try to put up a real chapter, love you all.. And I'm sorry.