Submitted by hollykins101. Thank you for submitting! I love MudWings so much.

--

BASIC INFORMATION;;
------ Name: Toad.
Nice. I haven't seen this used before. It's cute.

------ Age: 18.
Okay.

------ Gender: Girl.
Huh. Toad sounds like a pretty masculine name to me. So, of course, I love that she's female, because breaking gender roles.

------ Sexuality: Straight.
Nothing wrong with that.

------ Tribe: Pure MudWing.
It can never hurt to have a MudWing.

------ Abilities: The usual MudWing abilities.
You know what? I've never come across an overpowered MudWing. Which is awesome.

------ Relationship: None.
Good; this makes sense for a MudWing, since they don't generally take mates for life.

------ Occupation: Princess.
I'll reserve my judgement and see how this plays out.

--

------ Scale Colour: Underscales are a murky brown-yellow, armour-like scales dark brown.
If you'd like to replace "brown-yellow" with some stronger words, look up the names of shades of brown or tan or yellow.

------ Eye Colour: Amber.
Realism is always a plus.

------ Build: Short, but stocky.
Cute.

------ Height: Shorter then a usual MudWing.
Alright! Just remember MudWing sizes vary a lot; for instance, in The Dragonet Prophecy, it's mentioned that Umber's small enough to stand on his siblings to get attention. So, that's a pretty big size variation.

--

PERSONALITY;;
------ Strengths: Politics, fire breathing, stamina.
Alright, these are lovely strengths. Now how about some personality traits?

------ Weaknesses: Fighting (for a MudWing) flight endurance, tact.
Once again, very good, but you haven't really said anything about her personality.

--

BACKSTORY;;
She's the youngest of her litter, the runt.
It's not a litter of dragonets/eggs, it's a clutch.
Also, the runt isn't necessarily the youngest. It's the smallest. Not every litter has a runt too. But that's pretty cool either way.

She doesn't want to be queen, though she sometimes doubts whether her bigwings, Crab, would make a wise queen.
Huh, I would've thought Crab was a more SeaWing-ish name. Why does Toad doubt Crab's capabilities as a leader, I wonder?

She wasn't content with staying in the MudWing kingdom like her other sister Pheasant, and her brothers, Boar and Tusk.
I love the names (although Pheasant is taken in the canon; of course, names are bound to overlap at some point). Why wasn't she content in her kingdom? You need to explain.

A SkyWing messenger, Hummingbird, came to the kingdom to announce that the kingdoms were suggesting a 'council of claws', a more public and active version of the Talons.
That's a lovely idea! Council of Claws has a nice ring to it, too. And I love the name Hummingbird for a SkyWing - it's a bit of RainWingish, but still works.

She begged her mother and father to let her go, they agreed eventually. Toad knew they would since they had a healthy, mature bigwings daughter.
If Crab is healthy and mature, why does Toad doubt whether she'd make a wise queen? Also, just remember that MudWings don't really do parents; mothers and fathers don't have bonds and usually part ways after the eggs have been laid. Most of the time, the dragonets wouldn't even know who their parents were, and probably wouldn't care either. Of course, since they're royal, it makes sense that their mother would keep track of her eggs so the tribe would know who's royal and who isn't, but it's unlikely that Toad would know her father. More likely, the dragon she'd have to ask for permission from would be Crab, her bigwings, since the bigwings is the one with authority in the clutch.

She enjoyed the challenge of being a council member, and relished the independence the role gave her.
Nice character development there.

However, she was deeply hurt at how easily her siblings adapted to life without her, and it hurt her more than she let on as the scrolls from them became shorter and shorter, and fewer between.
This is so sad! I've had this experience before, and it's pretty painful. I can imagine it would be especially so for a MudWing, since they're so closely connected with their siblings.

She became more somber and distant when the connection between them failed. She longs to reconnect with them, but her role keeps her away from her siblings and future queen, Crab, who tries to keep in touch due to the usefulness of having a sister in the council.
Huh, that's pretty interesting. Sounds to me like Crab is making some good decisions as leader already. So why would Toad doubt her now?

Her father thinks it's a joke, and she soon stopped talking to him about her role as he refused to take her seriously.
This is good and all, but I'll just point out that she probably wouldn't know her father.

--

COMMENTS;;
------ The good...
Toad is probably one of the best princess OCs I've seen. Her backstory was interesting and very well-written. There's plenty of original material in here, and the best thing is that it's so ordinary and realistic that it feels like she's a real person.

------ The bad...
Firstly, you didn't really give her any personality. As in. I can't find a part that describes it. Her strengths and weaknesses all relate to her skills and abilities, as opposed to her actual qualities. And then, in her backstory, there's the issue with Crab; you mentioned she sometimes doubts Crab's future abilities as queen, but then you show her making decisions and possessing qualities which indicate good leadership abilities. Of course, she may be both; maybe she appears to be a good leader, but in reality isn't. Her sister would definitely know if this were the case, so it would make sense for her to doubt her.
On a final note, there's the issue with MudWing parents. It's highly unlikely that she'd know her father, since MudWing couples generally don't stay together.

------ How you can improve!
Simply look at Crab's character and explain it a bit in Toad's backstory. Explain why Toad doubts her capability as a wise queen.
Maybe take out the mention of her father - unless you plan to keep him in their family, although that's not typical MudWing behaviour. If you'd still like a dragon to regard her council role as a joke, why not give that to one of her siblings, or perhaps a friend?
Also, personality. She needs one. Write her one.

--

OVERALL RATING;; 6/10.
She would've scored higher, but you didn't really give me a personality to work with. I'm hammering this in because it's a vitally important aspect of any character.

I'm making a new book for these - this one is more cluttered. I'll notify everyone when it's up.

- Siri Mom.