I'm like speed-reviewing these guys so I can get as many done as possible because so many people are changing their OCs before I manage to review them.

(If you do this please tell me! This takes a long time and I don't want to be wasting effort and constructive criticism on an old draft of an updated character).

Anyway, here's a review of Swallowtail for ariesgirl5962, one of my most dedicated readers.

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BASIC INFORMATION;;
------ Name: Swallowtail.
Huh, never seen that name for a SkyWing.

------ Age: 47 at death.
Ooo, another dead character. Interesting.

------ Gender: Male.
Ye boi.

------ Sexuality: Straight.
Alrighty.

------ Tribe: SkyWing!! (I love them. I have a lot of SkyWing and NightWing characters XD).
SkyWings are pretty neat. I have a whole bundle of them.

------ Abilities: Normal SkyWing abilities. He's pretty strong too from his time in the military.
This makes sense, so that's interesting.

------ Relationship: Married to a SkyWing named Cloud, a light pink dragon that stays at home due to a damaged wing. She used to be a guard.
Hmm, not sure about the name Cloud for a SkyWing. But she sounds pretty interesting, and I like the detail.

------ Occupation: Guard, member of the OSO (Overthrow Scarlet Organization), arena prisoner.
This is intriguing. The name Overthrow Scarlet Organisation is a bit on the nose, but I like the concept.

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PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION;;
------ Scale Color: A bright red for most of his scales, with dark red going down his back and legs. Light red underbelly. Dark gray horns and claws.
Lotta red going on here. Look up "shades of red names" for some stronger vocabulary.

------ Eye Color: A light brown color, like beige.
Can't complain, brown eyes are a bit uncommon.

------ Build: Strong, tall and muscular. Long snout, legs, and neck.
It's simple but informative. I like the detail.

------ Other: Due to fusing with his twin in his egg, Swallowtail got his name from his two tails. (He used this a lot in his time as a guard when performing flight attacks. It allowed his to catch the wind in certain ways and propel him towards the ground.). He does get it stuck on things though. He has a long scar on his shoulder and across on eye, a cracked horn, and scar along his snout.
Woah, I wonder where all those scars come from!
I haven't seen a two-tailed dragon here before; it's pretty interesting. I like the name source, too.

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PERSONALITY;;
Swallowtail seemed on the outside to be a slightly above average soldier, being stern to new recruits but friendly to old.
Hmm, alright. How long has he been a soldier, then?

He held high loyalty for Queen Thrill, Queen Scarlet's mother.
This grammar is incorrect. You can't hold loyalty for someone - you can be loyal to someone. So you should say, "He was highly loyal to Queen Thrill". Minor detail, though.

He served her for ten years, and under those, he developed his personality of being an obedient soldier, strong and good-willed, powerful in combat.
Like the development here.

He escorted the old Queen once, which made him get his posture.
Go Swallowtail. That must've been a pretty big detail.

He is known to be a kind dragon overall, but his flaws are still there.
Good.

He is a perfectionist, always striving to be better, even if it severely hurts him.
Alright - this isn't really a flaw, though, just a strength that occasionally backfires.

He constantly challenged his old commander when he was young, and became determined to rise up (time to take a shot).
I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY -
SHOT.

--

BACKSTORY;;
Swallowtail was born as the youngest dragonet in his family of five. His mother and father, although well educated in military strategies, generally stayed at home or worked in building weapons.
Huh, interesting start.

His older siblings consisted of his much older sister, Cinder, a tired and laid back dragon that would usually escape the house to hang out with friends, and Rocky, the brother he hung out the most with.
I appreciate the detail in here. It's good that you've fleshed out his relationships with his family. Cinder reminds me a bit of myself.

They both went into training in the guard when they were three, and practiced together. Swallowtail, unlike his brother, had a bit of a hard time training, however, due to his fighting personality and his two tails getting tripped on by everyone.
"Fighting personality"? Do you mean he's aggressive?

He was teased for this, earning his the nickname "Tails".
I'm pretty sure Tails is a hedgehog in the Sonic universe.

Even through the teasing, Swallowtail managed to climb the ranks to a point were he was asked escort Queen Thrill to the MudWing Kingdom. The dragon, now at the age of ten, was thrilled, and kept his posture and composure good for the queen.
Sounds like a very proud moment for him! This is really cute.

He earned her respect when she saved the group from a fleet of SeaWings, tearing them all to shreds. When Swallowtail returned, he was a new dragon, ready for anything.
I'm assuming you mean "he", not "she". Did he do all this single-handedly? That's a bit... overpowered.

A year later, Queen Thrill died at the claws of one of her six daughters, Scarlet.
Nooo!

Swallowtail was devastated at the news, and had a sour thought about Scarlet from there on out.
I can imagine he would.

Rocky was extremely mad about the laws that Scarlet set up, making them conform to her rule, so the two brothers hatched a plan. With the help of some other army friends, they started to plan the assassination of Queen Scarlet.
Oh no.

The plan was going well, and one cloudy evening, they set it into motion. Swallowtail was given the honor as the strongest and quickest of his friends to be the one to kill the Queen, and as they snuck into the castle, everything went well.
So far so good.

Until somebody tripped on Swallowtail's tail.
Oh no.

The news of intruders spread like wildfire, and soon, all the dragons were found.
And it was at this moment Swallowtail realised... he messed up.

The OSO fought with the guards, and the fight was almost at a stalemate. Everything would be fine as the dragons kicked the guards down. But then, a bright red and orange dragon appeared, stalking her way through the battle. She stopped the fight, having the guards hold down the group.
Who's this? Scarlet? Peril? Tourmaline? You haven't given us enough detail to infer.

She gave a long, long look at Swallowtail. Her words stuck in his ears. "I'll take this one. Kill the rest."
Oh no.

Swallowtail never saw Rocky again.
Wait - did she take Swallowtail or Rocky?
This is tragic, but why does she want him in particular? How did she identify him as the leader of the coup? What happened to the rest of the OSO?

The dragon was put in Queen Scarlet's prison, where he stayed for a couple years, rotting away.
Which dragon? I'm going to assume Swallowtail, although you need to clarify. What do you mean by "rotting away"?

He still was strong; he had been asked to do labor around the palace, but extremely thin. One sunny day, he was called to be taken to a new place. He was flown to the newly built arena along with new prisoners from the SandWing Succession.
Ooo, like this twist.

He watched dragons kill each other each day, and as it attracted more and more crowds, he started to dread the day when he was put in the arena.
I can imagine he would.

That day came, and he fought a SeaWing so quickly that Queen Scarlet was impressed. After multiple battles, Swallowtail rose to the top and became one of the strongest prisoners.
Interesting, interesting.

He never expected to die that way.
Oh no.

He came into the arena, expecting a normal battle. He was ready for whatever the Queen threw his way.
Nice development - from dreading to intent.

He was not expecting a skinny, bright red SkyWing dragonet, no taller than his leg, that glowed with fire and had bright, startling blue eyes.
Oh, so the dragon in the beginning wasn't Peril!
This is interesting. I haven't seen many dragons who were killed/injured by Peril.

He started the fight, but was just touched and screamed in pain. He had never been burned like that. He realized this was the sickest trick Scarlet had played, send a dragon of fire to kill her prisoners. In fury, he burst upon the dragonet, being burned and the dragonet threw her wings up and burned him from both sides. He roared in her ears the loudest he ever had with his dying breath, before crumpling to the sand, burnt to a crisp.
That's a pretty intense way to go out, Swallowtail.

*I forgot to put in his courtship! Swallowtail, just as he turned eight, married Cloud and they hatched one egg. It was a stable marriage, but Cloud did not believe her husband should've went off to kill the queen. She just wanted peace for the kingdom. They had one egg.
You only added this in at the end and I didn't know where to slot it in so I sort of just left it here. No details about this egg, or how Cloud fared after he was put into the arena and killed?

--

COMMENTS;;
------ The good...
All in all Swallowtail is a pretty decent character. The concept is fresh and his story is consistent, and fits with the canon very well. I sympathised with him a lot in parts, and his character development felt real. I love the concept of two tails! You used it pretty well as a device for his personality and backstory. Also, your writing style is pretty quaint.

------ The bad...
His backstory was a little bit muddled at times, and could definitely be made a tad clearer. Another thing I picked up on was the lack of flaws in his personality; being a perfectionist isn't necessarily a flaw, unless he's very set in his ways and has to have everything immaculate. Then again, he doesn't have any astoundingly over-the-top strengths, so you could get away with what you currently have.

------ How you can improve!
Revise the backstory and edit for clarity - namely the point in which Scarlet captured members of the OSO. Did she catch him or Rocky? You just need to rewrite it to make it clearer, because I thought she'd taken Rocky. You could also explain in a bit more detail what happened to the other members of the OSO - particularly Rocky - and also how Cloud is faring back home. Is she alive? Has their egg hatched? How did she and their potential child react to his death?
I'd recommend considering adding another flaw into his personality, or expanding on his current one. Why is his perfectionism a flaw? Maybe it makes him paranoid, or rigid, or snappy when things aren't perfect. You could add another fault to complement this - for instance, he could be a heavy traditionalist. That would work especially well given his loyalty to Queen Thrill and his dislike for the new reigning monarch.

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OVERALL RATING;; 8/10.
Very good job on this one! Swallowtail was a lovely character to read about, and I wish you all the best in writing about him and roleplaying him.

I've gotten into a rhythm here of roughly one OC per day (except for those times where I'll go inactive for a week and then post like 5 all at once), so I'm working through these guys. Slow and steady, I guess.

- Siri Mom.