Submitted by GrrTheSecond! I have a bit of a personal attachment to this character, since I've met her in RP. She's a lovely dragon.

I'm trying to be a bit nicer, since I noticed I used to flame people quite... excessively.

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BASIC DETAILS;;

------ Name: Mango (yes, a very bad name that I didn't put much thought into).
Don't say that! I love the name; it's very cute, and perfectly suited to a dragon of RainWing origin. It doesn't sound as dramatic as some, but it's a lovely name all the same.

------ Age: 8.
Cool.

------ Gender: Female.
Lovely lil' girl.

------ Sexuality: Straight.
Nothing wrong with heterosexuality.

------ Tribe: Seawing Rainwing hybrid.
I'm going to reserve any comments, since a Sea/Rain hybrid is more possible in Pyrrhia than some of the other combinations I've seen. They're both pretty relaxed tribes when it comes to interactions with others.

------ Abilities: She doesn't have any fangs so no venom.
You won a thumbs-up from me.

------ She only has small webs in between her talons and her claws are slightly longer than the average dragon's.
I like the subtlety here. It isn't overloaded, but pays some homage to her SeaWing side.

------ She does have gills but they don't do much. She finds it hard to breathe underwater and she also struggles to swim.
I'm questioning the presence of the gills, but the lack of function is good. This is exactly what would occur in a hybrid.

------ Relationship Status: She has a crush on Thistle.
For those of you who don't know, Thistle is an OC of mine. They're quite the pair.

------ Job: None yet (probably a writer).
Interesting! RainWings aren't that scholarly, but I know SeaWings are - especially regarding literature.

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PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION;;
------ Scale Colour: She can change her scale colour like a normal RainWing but she prefers to keep her scales in blues and greens.
Hmmm, interesting. I didn't think a hybrid would be able to do that. Is she more SeaWing or RainWing?

------ Eye Colour: Light blue like the sky.
Lovely.

------ Build: She's reasonably thin (sorry not much detail here :/ ).
That's completely okay! You've provided more detail than several other entries I've read. If you're looking for ways to expand on that, maybe go into more detail regarding her body type. Is she thin as in scrawny, or thin as in slim and athletic? Are her limbs small and compact, or long and elegant?

------ Height: She's just shorter than the average RainWing.
And here we have me, embodied as a RainWing. I can empathise.

------ Other: She wears a bright pink flower behind her ear.
Lovely! I can imagine the pink would compliment the blues pretty well. What kind of flower is it?

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PERSONALITY;;
She is much more mature then her brother (Watermelon).
As a witness to both characters, I can confirm. Also, are we going to take a minute to appreciate the name Watermelon? It's so cute! I like that they're related, too - both being fruits and all.

She is shy and quiet but if someone says something wrong she might but in and correct them.
Interesting - maybe elaborate a bit here? What does she regard as "wrong"? An incorrect equation, or a mistaken rumour?

She likes scrolls, you will often see her reading something and not participating in games/events unless her brother pulls her into it (literally).

Poor introverted child. What's her relationship with her brother like? Does she appreciate him for pulling her into things, or does she find it more inconvenient or scary?

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BACKSTORY;;
She basically had an normal life.
Okay, but what was this "normal" life like? What is "normal?"
Maybe add a bit more detail. Consider things like her parents, where she grew up, how she became shy (whether it's a natural-born trait of hers or attributed to some past event while growing up), significant moments in her life.

Sometimes she would get teased for being a hybrid but she would often stay quiet while her brother made lots of noise and get picked on.
Good. Hybrids get a lot of teasing in the canon. It makes sense that she'd get less than her brother if he's more outgoing than her - I like that you've included this detail. Now apply that level of intricacy to the rest of the backstory.

She would try to help but only sometimes she would succeed.
Good balance here. I'd love to hear more about some of these occasions, though - and maybe how they affect her. How does she feel when she fails? How does Watermelon feel when she tries to help?

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COMMENTS;;
------ The good...
Mango is a wonderful character, and you've given me a good feel for her personality. There's nothing too overboard with her - no major tragedies, no absurd traits, or anything of the like. I also adore her name - sometimes, it's the simplest ones that work the best.

------ The bad...
One thing I did pick up on was your lack of detail in places, namely her personality and backstory. It feels a bit like you've said "normal life" to avoid any long explanations - you need to flesh her out more, to make her feel just that extra bit more real. Her personality, too, could be more detailed. I'd also maybe keep an eye on those hybrid abilities.

------ How you can improve!
It's minor things, really. Firstly, take a look at her backstory. Hybrids rarely have a normal life - and while I appreciate that you've spared the tragedy, I think you need to explain a bit more about her life. You don't have to go so far as naming her extended family and detailing her entire dragonethood, but a few tidbits about her life wouldn't be that bad: for instance, which of her parents is the RainWing, and which is the SeaWing? Where was she raised - and by whom? I wouldn't recommend adding any excess drama to her story; just expand what you already have. It's easier than it looks, I promise.
Regarding her personality, you've set up a reasonable framework already. All you have to do is explain things in a bit more detail - just as with her backstory.
Finally, I would maybe advise looking at her description and abilities. For a start, if she's a SeaWing/RainWing hybrid, it would be unlikely that she'd have fully functioning colour-changing scales and gills (however ineffective they may be). If you'd like to keep the gills, I would recommend weakening the scales - maybe she can only change colour on certain areas of her body, or maybe she can only change to a limited spectrum of colours (perhaps only blues). Otherwise, remove the gills and keep the scales.

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OVERALL RATING;; 7.5/10.

Mango is a lovely character, both in and out of RP. Her design is simple, but quite appealing. You haven't overdosed in the tragedy, and you've kept the most important aspects muted. Aside from a few issues concerning detail and realism, you've got yourself a wonderful character!

- Siri Mom.