Submitted by catswithtophatss.

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------ Name: Dione.
Very pretty.

------ Age: 5 (at death)
That's very young to die.

------ Gender: Male.
Huh, Dione is a very feminine-sounding name (or maybe that's me; I read it as Diane initially). Cool!

------ Sexuality: Asexual aromatic
Nice.

------ Tribe: SpaceWings (to other tribes their real name is StarWings)
I'm not sure if you're familiar with imagination.drawings on Instagram, but they're a pretty popular user with a fan tribe of the same name. Of course, can't help if that's a coincidence. I'm not sure how I feel about that name... seems a bit on the nose.

------ Abilities: Okay, since this is a fan tribe I made up while thinking 'hey what if there is alien dragons' then this was made.
Nice concept.

They are able to slightly shift their form (like maybe make their tail two or three inches longer or change how tall they are for a day, it's really draining) are able to live without air (though it is refreshing to breathe it) able to create stars. (I just realized I forgot the commas).
This is nice, but... how do they create stars?
Stars are basically giant gaseous balls of plasma. They're huge. To put it into context, the sun is only average-sized for a star; and it has a gravitational pull huge enough to tug nine planets into orbit (Pluto. Is. A. Planet). It's also the closest star to Earth.
If these dragons have the ability to make stars, that has some pretty disastrous implications for the rest of their solar system.

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PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION;;
Let me give you a run-down on what most StarWings look like before I describe Dione.
Thank you.

StarWings are made up of gases and space dust. Their form is long and slim. They don't really have spikes or any claws but they have 'teeth' (the most dense part of their body). They can come in blue, purple, grey, red, and black.
Ah, so not so rigid in form? I like it.

They have stars on the inside of their gas body. The stars are there to protect their organs (digestive system, brain, heart, kidney, bladder, etc).
Are we talking stars as in star markings, or stars as in real physical stars?

So basically dragons made up of gas and space dust with a layer of stars on the inside of the gases to act like underscales to protect the organs. Also most of the time their eyes are a lighter shade of their gas color is.
Alright, fits the scheme very well. They sound beautiful!

Dione is a small (like most drangonets) and slim. His gas color is a light purple with his eyes being a lighter shade.
Purple eyes aren't that practical for seeing, but... they are in space. I suppose anything is possible.

He wears a small opal earring (he finds it very special because his mother says it from Earth).
Earth as in Pyrrhia's planet? I'm not sure our planet is the same (given that they have some very wacky biomes, huge fauna and three moons, plus a comet).

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PERSONALITY;;
------ Positive traits: Dione is a very smart boy for his age, his mother is a scholar so she wanted him to follow in her footsteps because of the good money it made (she won't force him to become one but she'll just give him the brains to become one was her thinking).
Oh?

So he started reading... a lot. If he isn't in class he would most likely be reading. Dione is very friendly, he thinks that's there's no use in being rude to others you don't know, he's willing to say hi and talk to dragons he barely knows and he likes sharing his scrolls with his friends.
Such a sweet little boy.

Dione is very sympathetic towards others and never likes it when a dragon cries or gets sad and will try to help the dragon out anyway he can.
I want to hug him.

------ Bad Traits: He can be easily manipulated by others from his sympathy and he wouldn't realize it.
He and I have that in common.

He is easily scared and is made fun because of it by his peers at school, which doesn't really make him sad but is annoying as heck.
Huh, I would've thought it would make him upset.

Dione is easily distracted (unless reading); he is constantly daydreaming of what he will be when he grows up that he can forget he's doing something.
Sweet.

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BACKSTORY;;
The StarWings' hierarchy is on where you live and how close to sun you are.
Alright, that makes sense, although it definitely means they wouldn't be able to create stars (since it would completely upset 1. the solar system and 2. the hierarchy, since the sun would probably move or react in some way).

If you live closest to the sun (Mercury) then you're basically royalty.
Cool, but keep in mind Pyrrhia isn't on Earth. So if you want to have them live on Mercury, Venus, etc., they won't be interacting with any of the Pyrrhian tribes.

Dione isn't wealthy but not completely poor. He grew up with his mother, Constellation. Dione never knew his father because he left Dione's mother before he hatched, so it was just him and his mother... and his egg sister Titan.
Did this affect him in any way? Also, where did he live?

Dione grew up with a love for reading in his life, loving scrolls like I love food.
Nom.

He grew up not really popular in school but he wasn't bullied (well except for being a scaredy cat).
Alright.

When he turned five a dragon called Meteoroid who was a scientist became mates with Dione's mom (Titan has hatched at this point). He was a royal scientist who had moved to Saturn to study the rings.
This is lovely, except Saturn is made of gas. He would never be able to stand on the planet. Or make a home there, unless it was built high above in the atmosphere like in Star Wars.

Then he was assigned with the task of going to Earth to study the plants on there (they didn't know anything lived there), and he was allowed to bring his dragonets along (note Titan is basically a baby).
"Hey, you're going to an unknown, potentially-dangerous planet. Bring the kids along!"

Constellation went too, with Titan, since she couldn't leave her hatchling behind.
Constellation apparently has no sense in her head.

When they went there everything was fine. They found a scavenger but didn't pay any attention to it since it ran away when it saw them.

Eventually a group of NightWings found them.

Pyrrhia 👏🏻 is 👏🏻 not 👏🏻 on 👏🏻 Earth

I had to Google the clapping emoji for that ^

They were tested on and tortured for months until they wanted to see how to kill a SpaceWing. They started with Dione by impaling him with a pole, killing him instantly.
Oh, great! Blame it on the NightWings. They always do evil experiments, right?
Wrong. They did one experiment, on RainWings, because they posed a potential threat to their future home. Because their current home was killing them, and they were desperate for a new one.
They aren't mindless evil scientists. They're real dragons with motives.
Also, experiments rarely end like that. The NightWings have a rare specimen of a completely new tribe; why would they kill it? I would've thought they'd study him, as a dragonet, and watch him grow.
(Or, even better yet, they'd ask the SpaceWings questions like the civilised dragons they are!! WOah!! That's a wild concept, isn't it?).

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COMMENTS;;
------ The good...
Ignoring the stream of paragraphs below, Dione is not a bad character overall. He has a likeable personality, and his early life is reasonable. The SpaceWings seem like a very creative tribe - "alien dragons" is an awesome idea. Their physical descriptions especially are really pleasing; I can just imagine a bunch of fluid space dragons floating through the cosmos. Very original concept, and not at all like what I expected.
(Or maybe that's me, I'm a sucker for space and stars and stuff).

------ The bad...
First of all, there's no way SpaceWings can create stars. Stars are huge.
You need to refine your galaxy. A lot. Half the planets you talk about are uninhabitable - Mercury is dangerously hot and very close to the sun. Saturn is made of gas, which makes it... pretty hard to live on. How do they even travel between planets? Also, Pyrrhia is not on Earth, so they wouldn't run into NightWings.
Speaking of which - there is no way the government would let Meteoroid take his kids to an unexplored planet. It doesn't even make sense that it is unexplored; isn't their hierarchy system based on the planets? They'd have to have explored each one. Moreoever, Earth is the most habitable planet in the solar system. If anything, it'd be the first planet they explored.
Your portrayal of the NightWings is (I'm very sorry) awful. Just because they did one experiment on RainWings doesn't automatically make them all mad scientists. Why didn't they just hop up and talk to the SpaceWings? Cheap tactic.

------ How you can improve!
Fix all that. Please.
First things first, do you want them to meet Pyrrhian dragons, or do you want them to meet dragons living on Earth? Or could you come up with an explanation for how Pyrrhia is on future Earth? Or, even better, create your own galaxy, with Pyrrhia on one of the planets.

Second of all, their even being on Earth/Pyrrhia screams for a better explanation. It's extremely unlikely the authorities would let a scientist take his wife and kids along to explore an unknown planet.
But they would if it was a colonisation mission.
Consider: the SpaceWings know a bit about Earth, but they stay away from it because of the strange dragons that live there. Meteoroid is sent to establish a settlement on the planet - and, like any colonist of old, he takes his family with. They arrive amongst a group of surprisingly hostile dragons, who take them prisoner for interrogation/experimentation. Why? Who knows? Maybe their spaceship destroyed a very important building (assuming it is a spaceship they use; flying from planet to planet would take decades, potentially centuries). Maybe they have a bad experience with SpaceWings in the past. Maybe they've just come out of a war and they're naturally cautious - or in need of a new tribe to use as a weapon. The possibilities are endless.

Finally, brush up on those poor NightWings. I'd suggest either removing the experiments (or at least making them a joint effort between the tribes, so it doesn't look like you're antagonising NightWings), or giving them a better motive. Also, reconsider how you killed poor Dione - most scientists won't be eager to kill a new experiment project. Maybe his death was an accident - maybe, while trying to break out, he tripped and ended up impaling himself, or maybe he panicked and attacked an experimentor (or seemed like he was) and the dragon was forced to defend himself as a consequence?

I'd seriously recommend checking out this link - http://www.springhole.net/writing/things-to-know-if-your-character-will-be-augmented-or-experimented-upon.htm (also pasted in the comments).

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OVERALL RATING;; 5/10.
Room for improvement, but don't stress! With a bit of polishing, Dione can be a great character.

Also sorry for any typos, my kitten was trampling the screen when I wrote this.

- Siri Mom