Prompt used: "I loved them more than anything in this world, and they're dead because of me."

Requested by sadstrarwarsfan14

Song of Inspiration: Passenger - Let Her Go

I couldn't find an image of him without his helmet, so imagine him how you like

But I hope you enjoy

MAJOR angst, grab your tissues and wine, ladies(or whatever drink you prefer)
______________________________________________________

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Hound sat alone at the bar holding his half empty glass. He didn't have the energy to finish his drink, so he stood up after leaving a few credits and started to walk out of the bar. He pushed past his brothers that were having a good time. Even though he had happiness with his brothers, the best he had was with you. And you couldn't be there to make him happy.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

And you let her go

He quickly put on his helmet so his brothers couldn't see the sadness and pain his eyes held. He got on one of the nearby speeders, not caring whose it was, and sped off back to the Republic Military Base. He closed his eyes for a few seconds only to see the image of you lingering in his mind. He increased his speed as he opened his eyes seeing he wasn't that far.

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow, and they go so fast

Hound directed the speeder next to other speeders and stopped the engine, getting off the vehicle. He walked towards the base entrance and Commander Fox noticed him.

"Sargeant, I need to-" Fox started.

Hound didn't care and shoved past him in the direction of his personal room, wanting some rest. Concerned, Fox silently followed him.

You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day, you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

The moment he stepped foot in his room, he sat on his bed and threw his helmet on the ground as tears streamed down his face.

'Why did it have to be you?' He thought sadly as more tears fell from his eyes.

He wiped his eyes to rid of the tears but they kept coming. He didn't think that he would fall in love only to lose them. You've only been together for about seven months when he lost the love of his life.

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

He couldn't help but let out a distressed sob as the tears continued to fall. He didn't hear the door open of the footsteps that approached him. But he did notice the slight dip in his bed and didn't bother looking up, knowing full well who it was.

"Hound, I'm worried about you." Fox spoke.

"I just want to be left alone please." He said.

"I know that you miss her, but you need to let her go."

"I loved them more than anything in this world, and they're dead because of me! I can't just let her go!"

"Vod, it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is! If I had gotten to her in time, she wouldn't be dead!"

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow, and it goes so fast

"Sir, she was the best thing that ever happened to me!" Hound shouted.

"Brother, I understand that but you need to calm down." Fox said calmly.

"I was going to ask her to marry me, but now that chance is gone!"

He let out more sobs as Fox had a shocked expression on his face. Hound continued his rant.

"I wanted to settle down with her, have a couple of kids." He said softly.

Fox gently placed his hand on his shoulder, doing his best to console his grieving brother.

"We were going to travel the galaxy, her and I. She always wanted to do that." Hound said, tears slowly stopping.

Well, you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much, and you dived to deep

"But she was taken from me, and it's all my fault." He whispered.

Fox didn't say anything as he thought about this special someone.

"What was her name? She sounded like an amazing person." Fox asked carefully.

"She was an amazing person. Her name was (Y/n), a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." Hound replied, thinking of you.

A ghost of a smile could be seen on his face as he recalled all the happy moments you two shared. He remembered when you first met, your first date, your first kiss. Instinctively, he brought a hand to his lips and reminisced every time you two shared small kisses.

Well, you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

"I'll leave you alone now, vod." Fox spoke, standing up.

He gently patted Hound's back and walked out of the room. Feeling a little better, he grabbed his datapad and opened the photo gallery. He scrolled through the photos you and him took over the past several months. As he was scrolling, he saw a video in one of the media folders. Curious, he tapped on it to see what it was. Before he pressed play, the thumbnail was you giving a big smile.

And you let her go
Oh, oh, mm, oh
And you let her go
Oh, oh, uh, uh
Well, you let her go

Hound smiled at your image and pressed play. The video started with you setting up the datapad and angling it right. Then you stepped back and put your hands behind your back.

"Hi, honey! If you're seeing this, then you know I'm not there with you." You started.

Hound covered his mouth as tears welled in his eyes upon seeing you and hearing your voice.

"I just want you to know that I love you very much and that you're the best boyfriend I've had."

A single tear fell and slid down his cheek.

"I enjoyed every moment being with you, even if it didn't last long like the others."

Another tear fell.

"You know, I wanted to marry you, settle down and have a couple of kids. Don't forget we also wanted to travel the galaxy, I always wanted to do that."

Hound smiled as he remembered the words he said to Fox earlier, those words sounding the exact same.

"Even if you didn't want any of that, I still loved you and every second spent with you."

"(Y/n), what are you doing?"

The owner of the voice stepped into the frame to reveal Commander Thorn.

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Hound smiled wider, if possible, when he saw his brother step in the frame.

"I'm making a video for Hound just in case if I die early." You said to him.

"You're not going to die this early." He said, crossing his arms.

"Maybe not, but you never know."

"Alright, I'm going to leave you to... whatever this is."

He laughed a little as he watched his brother leave the room.

"Anyways, just in case you ever want to see or hear me, you can come back to this video." You said and smiled brightly.

He was a crying mess right now, but he had a big smile on his face.

"And if you forget about me, I want you to know that I'll always be in your heart."

His heart warmed at the statement as his tears slowly died down.

"One last thing, I left a little something for you under your bed, I hope you like it."

"(Y/n), are you here?" He heard his voice in the background.

"Crap, I gotta go. Bye, love you!" You rushed forward and stopped recording.

Hound gently grazed a hand over your image before setting the datapad down. Remembering what you said about leaving something for him, he got off his bed and kneeled down on the ground.

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

He reached under and felt a box as soon as he reached his hand underneath his bed. He pulled it out and saw that it was wrapped in red paper with a white bow. He stood up and sat back on his bed before placing it in his lap. He carefully untied the thin ribbon and set it to the side before ripping away the paper. After doing so, he lifted the lid and inside the box was what melted his heart. It was a painted wood carving of his upper half above the Coruscant Guard symbol. His eyes marvelled at the detailed wood and carefully stroked over the intricate details.

'So that was why you always had band-aids on your fingers.' He thought.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Before observing it more, he noticed a folded piece of paper in the box. Still holding the carving, he used his other hand to pick it up and open it. It was short but it still made him happy. The note read:

I'll love you forever and always.
-(Y/n)

After reading it, he held both objects close to his heart and smiled once more. He knew you were the one because you always made him happy, even if you weren't there. He placed both items and grabbed the almost forgotten ribbon, then managed to tie it around his left wrist. He then disposed of the box and paper in a nearby trash in. He stood up and grabbed his helmet before walking to the door. He stopped and looked back at the items, smiling again that they came from you.

'I'll keep going for you, cyar'ika.' He thought.

He stepped out of his room with his helmet at his side, ready for whatever is heading his way.

And you let her go
_____________________________________________________

Aaaahhh, more feeeels!! But overall, did you enjoy it?

I cried writing the first half and had a tissue with me. I never use tissues unless it's really upsetting like this.

Anyways, I hope you all have a good day/afternoon/evening/night! :)