Title: Tethered Destinies

Author Name: MiniMoxx

Reviewer: sassy-weirdo

Presentation: (14/15)

Cover (4/5)

The cover is quite simple but minimalistic covers for the win-win! Eryx did a great job with the cover, especially adding the swirly lines on the girl's body; I can immediately relate the lines to destiny because of it and the cover does not look too empty either. Overall amazing cover!

Title (5/5)

The title is just chef's kiss. Nothing too complicated and it tells us the overall idea of the story perfectly.

Blurb (5/5)

People seem to struggle with blurbs, and I have seen quite a few blurbs that need mass changes but yours doesn't. It's so great. I love how you mentioned that the story is part of a series so that people know what they're getting themselves into and you even mentioned that this is the first part of the series, at the end of the blurb, just to avoid confusion. Not to mention, crediting the cover designer in the blurb was thoughtful of you since you already credited her in the chapter consisting of playlists, aesthetics and accolades.

The body of the blurb is informative and hooking. Mentioning a bit about the world and the characters gives the reader an insight into the story without even reading it. Exactly how a blurb should be. But, something that struck me here was-

Excerpt: '...her soulmate, Owen, held her in check.'

I think 'kept her in check' would be more appropriate for this sentence.

Uncovering the Story: (52/55)

First (Chapter) Impression (10/10)

Before starting this section, I just want you to know that here 'first chapter' means the prologue since it is the start of the story.

P.S: The header is very pretty!

So, diving right into it, the story opens with a line that seems to hold a lot of power. We get an insight into the character's (Amelia's) thoughts. From the first paragraph we can see Amelia as she is— a practical person. As I read on I understood Amelia's distaste towards the whole concept of 'Fated One'. The emotions Amelia felt during the week leading up to her Knot Day were described very well and I empathised with her while reading.

Taking all aspects of the prologue into account, I'd say this is very well written. The fabulous grammar and descriptions, transmission of worldbuilding information without it looking like an info-dump, the brilliant cliffhanger, all show how great a writer you are.

Character Development (10/10)

Amelia: Amelia Nichols is a 19 year-old student who's practical, sarcastic, relatable, straightforward and a massive overthinker. This is shown throughout the chapters in different instances. She is one of my favourite characters since:

Practical:

Excerpt- 'I wonder if whoever came up with this stupid idea realised how much damage they could do to someone with their reidiculous formula.'

Excerpt- 'I snort. "Actually, Ryan, I think... one person, you know?' (Chapter 1)

Moments like these stand out and show us how practical she is and how much thought she has given into the concept.

Relatable: We all have that obnoxious and annoying classmate and/ or teacher who we wished never existed. In Amelia's case, she has both. Ryan and Joshua are her annoying classmate and tutor respectively. At least till the first chapter, things did go awry from the second one xD Anyways, back to the point, her dislike towards these characters was portrayed very well and I related with her on so many different levels! Also the fact that she does not like asking for help. We humans usually have it in our conscience that once we are adults or even teenagers, we're independent enough and do not need anyone's assistance.

Straightforward:

Excerpt- "You keep staring at my Knot," I mention. "Why is that?" (Chapter 3)

I don't think I need to say anything about this. I have grown tired of characters who're afraid to speak their mind even though it happens a lot in real life. But Amelia is just a flawed but amazing protagonist. I'm sure she would inspire a lot of people to be more straightforward.

Monologues: All the chapters written in Amelia's POVs start with a short monologue. This way we are able to see and read the thoughts of the protagonist on sensitive topics related to the society. The first chapter starts off with the topic of social constructs and the third one with independence. These monologues make her an interesting protagonist and show the readers how contemplative she is.

Sarcastic:

Excerpt- 'How did I go from straight-As to failing? It's literally thanks to this guy, who can't even get his words out right now.'

This is legit one of my favourite moments from the chapters I have read xD Her annoyance and sarcasm are really oozing out.

Caring:

Excerpt: 'I hate fantasy, but his story was so cute, I read it in one night.' (Xhapter 1)

Love the way you show how much she loves Owen through small gestures

You did a great job showing her flaws too:

Overthinker:

Excerpt- 'Am I going to combust... some conspiracy theory?' (Chapter 3)

Excerpt- 'Will I have to marry the man I hate?' (Chapter 3)

Albeit a flaw, I'm sure we all overthink a lot. And Amelia is no less. She overthinks stuff and usually it's hilarious watching her do that xD The fact that her imagination can go from her combusting to her ending up marrying the man she 'hates' is so funny to read and even relatable. Not to mention, half the time she makes me want to hug her and protect her.

Snapping:

Excerpt- '"It's not complicated. I don't like you," she snapped.' (Chapter 4)

Amelia is not a very patient person. She snaps when she's frustrated. This habit of hers was shown very nicely without contradicting the fact that she's a practical person since having two soulmates is a very sensitive matter.

Joshua: Joshua Anderson, a Drifter who is Amelia's university lecturer in our Amelia's world. A few of his traits-

Creepy:

Except- '"I... like your hair like that," he says breezily.' (Chapter 1)

Even though he is not creepy, he came off as one at the beginning of the story.

Not a good teacher: The Joshua, who failed Amelia, does not seem to be a good teacher. I never did get the reason behind failing her. Was her essay genuinely bad? Or was it just some lame excuse such as 'I like her but I want to show her that I hate her and I want myself to believe that, too, so I'll fail her'?

Formally freaking out:

Excerpt- 'Amelia, please reply... Thanks, Joshua.' (Chapter 3)

In the mail he wrote to Amelia he sounds so formal but we can understand that he's freaking out af. Nice way to show this trait.

Drifter:

Excerpt- 'He knew that... something different and strange' (Chapter 4)

Aaaaand then it dawned upon everyone why he wanted to see Amelia urgently— to talk to her as he was at the time, before the 'other him' took over.

Smart: It is mentioned that Joshua leaves himself notes so as to make it easier for his 'other personality' when it takes over. This shows he's smart because I can guarantee most people would be worrying themselves sick instead of trying to find themselves a solution.

Owen: Owen Carter, a thoughtful, caring and humorous young man who is also Amelia's soulmate.

Thoughtful and cheesy:

Excerpt- 'Camellia seeds for my Amelia!' (Chapter 1)

This is just so sweet. Owen is such a sweet guy, I love him.

Humorous:

Excerpt- '"Your pot of tea, my queen," Owen greets me as I walk in the door.' (Chapter 1)

His humour is as cheesy as him, lol.

Cheeky and dirty:

Excerpt- He grins. '"If you don't mind. I promise it'll be worth your while later."' (Chapter 1)

The innuendo itself proves his cheekiness. He's an absolute sweetheart.

Caring: In the third chapter we see Owen being worried for Amelia since she ran out of the shop and he checked up on her. He even asked whether he would come early or not just for Amelia. Soulmate goals! I love him! I ship them!

Sam: Sam, Amelia's friend.

Excerpt- '"Sure. I'm already... and come round?"' (Chapter 3)

We did not see much of her but she's an awesome friend. I hope we see more of her in the upcoming chapters.

Writing Style, Grammar, and Vocabulary (8/10)

In this part I'd be listing a few things that I would like to point out so that it's easier for you to edit:

Excerpt: 'no, Amelia. He's grading...'

Corrected excerpt: 'No, Amelia. He's grading...'

I'd suggest capitalising the first letter of a thought.

Excerpt: '... believe in soul mates'

Corrected excerpt: '... believe in soulmates'

I believe soulmates should be together without any spaces.

Excerpt: '... they get some like sixth sense or some weird feeling of feeling complete and almost...'

Corrected excerpt: '... they get something like a sixth sense or some weird feeling of being complete and almost...'

Excerpt: '... I've always felt whole and love around Owen.'

Corrected excerpt: '... I've always felt whole and loved around Owen.'

— chap 1

Excerpt: 'Long, curly black hair, she always smelt like vanilla.'

Corrected excerpt: 'Long, curly black hair. She always smelt like vanilla.'

OR

Corrected excerpt: 'Long, curly black hair; She always smelt like vanilla.'

I feel that a full stop or a semicolon would be appropriate since the two parts act like two different sentences.

Excerpt: 'They both wanted to study sociology, she showed him what love and passion were.'

Corrected excerpt: 'They both wanted to study sociology; she showed him what love and passion were.'

Here semicolon would be more appropriate since the sentences the part before and after the colon are related and do not exactly act like two different sentences. You can check a few sites on Google so as to make it easier for you to understand when a semicolon needs to be inserted and when it does not.

Excerpt: 'He started working on the essay...just have to power through.'

This part seems a bit too vague, especially the second paragraph. I understand that this essay is something important and you're probably being vague for a reason, but it's a little bit too vague. Adding some context about the essay/ situation might make it easier for the readers to understand.

— chap 2

Excerpt: 'The flooding, the mental clouds defog, the way my breath deepens.'

Okay...? Tbh this did not make much sense to me. Does she mean that as she sees Joshua's Knot the 'flooding' which I suppose represents the scenario as that of a disaster? And the 'mental clouds' which is probably Amelia's confusion is ebbing away as she takes a long breath in? Overall, I was puzzled on reading this sentence.

Excerpt: '"I'll be fifteen minutes," she says.'

Corrected excerpt: '"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," she says.'

OR

Corrected excerpt: '"I'll be there in fifteen," she says.'

OR

Corrected excerpt: '"Be there in fifteen minutes," she says.'

I'm not sure if she missed the adverb on purpose (it could be the dialect of the place) or was it a typo? The last two variations of the corrected excerpt make the sentence seem more informal since it's a conversation between two friends.

— chap 3

Excerpt: '... known by the tone of his that they...'

Corrected excerpt: '... known by the tone of his mail that they...'

Specifying where the said tone is coming from would make the sentence sound better.

Excerpt: 'He loved that Emilia.'

Excerpt: '... Fated to this Amelia, but in love with his Amelia.'

We see Joshua calling 'his' Amelia as Emilia and Amelia. Is that a nickname given to her by him? Was it a typo? I was quite confused when I noticed this.

— chap 4

Now, here are a few things that I loved about your writing style-

The imagery used in your story is amazing. I could visualise things so well. Great job!

I love your use of metaphors. Always so original too!

I love how you tie all the concepts such as independence and the like into different social constructs.

Love how you summarise the beginning in the closing para while writing Amelia's POV.

Plot and Pacing (9/10)

Here are a few things that I would like to throw light on so as to make it easier for you while editing and a few things that I loved about the plot:

The classroom scene needs more descriptions. It might not be important but telling people what the setting looks like would seem much better. For now, all we know is that Amelia is sitting in a classroom.

I read the reply you had given on a reader's comment saying that the Knot Arts are all on the left wrist. Imo stating this in the chapter would be a better choice.

I love that you made the mc's soulmate a writer and not her.

— Chapter 1

At the beginning of the second part we see Josh reading a book. As a reader I believe it would be less confusing if you add that he's at home since many would think he is still at the coffee shop.

— Chapter 2

Excerpt: 'I wonder if Owen and Josh are meant to be Fated, and not me.'

Thoughts: I like how you raise a lot of different questions regarding the knot. You naturally put in a lot of debate and ask a lot of things that make us wonder. Good food for thought that leads to more fan theories.

— Chapter 3

The addition of a capitalised 'He' was a great choice since it makes the reader want to know more about the said person and makes them wonder whether Joshua has a split personality or not.

Excerpt: 'It took him a long time... Much like Joshua.'

Thoughts: Explained very well, one of my fav parts.

It gets quite confusing what with Josh's split personality and different lives. Thus, I think naming the two Joshes would be easier to understand

This chapter is kinda confusing with all the Hes and Emilias and Amelias but as you did a great job hooking the reader in the previous 4 chapters and since you said that more will be revealed in chap 5 you're good to go.

— Chapter 4

Genre Relevance (5/5)

In Wattpad language, I would not say it is very 'paranormaly' since people here usually relate the genre to hot werewolves and dark stalker vampires xD but your story has a bit of an other-worldly theme. The genres 'fantasy' and 'romance' also stand out. I would say the genres you have chosen are very relevant to the content of the story. Kudos to you for choosing the right ones since it becomes quite difficult to understand where your story lies.

Communication with Readers (5/5)

Albeit the fact that there are quite a lot of lazy readers who just like to vote but not comment *points at myself* you have quite a lot of active readers and you make sure to reply to them. An interactive author always makes the reader happy since we humans love attention regardless of who or how we are. Thus, replying to the comments left by the people reading your story makes the readers excited and want to read the story more. You reply to the smallest comments and explain stuff to a curious or confused reader. Not to mention, you take criticism positively, even when the reader is pointing out mistakes made in the story.

Overall Enjoyment (5/5)

At first when I checked the tags on the book I started sweating at the prospect of reading a student x teacher story since most of them are toxic and the characters have a huge age gap between each other. But 'Tethered Destinies' is nothing like that. It's a refreshing read that goes through the emotions a person in their early adulthood might experience. Amelia and Joshua's life is not limited to just their job or their 'dislike' for each other, it's more complicated than that and you did a great job showing it! The drama, the tension, the imagery, the metaphors are all so beautifully written. This is one of my favourite books now and I loved reviewing it. Can't wait to continue reading!

Overall: 66/70