Review done by: sassy-weirdo

Title (2/5)

The title does suit the story but it isn't very attractive or intriguing.

Cover (2/5)

The cover isn't very attractive, especially since it's looking very weird and too much is happening at once. I'd suggest requesting a cover in a graphic shop.

Blurb (2/5)

The blurb isn't very attractive. It doesn't perk up the reader's curiosity. I'd suggest adding a few quotes and adding a bit about Diana's character.

Writing style (2/5)

The writing style's not very good. It is looking like you only wrote it to get the part done. I've also noticed that you keep changing POVs. For eg- In chapter 3 the part was written in Diana's POV yet you showed what happened after she was unconscious. This is not the correct way as Diana was unconscious and couldn't have known what was happening around her. You usually write what the person whose POV it is, can see, not what they can't see.

Grammar (2/5)

The grammar kind of ruins the whole story.IIn some parts the auxiliary verb used wasn't needed while in some parts the tense used is wrong and there are quite a lot of punctuation errors. I would suggest writing the story in the first person as it would enhance the flow of things. I would also suggest editing the story as there are major changes to make as grammar is the main stronghold of a story.

Creativity/ Originality (4/5)

Your level of creativity is amazing. I liked how you expressed the manas and the domains, clarifying the reader's unasked questions in the process.

Character development (8/10)

Now coming to character development, it was mind-blowing. I liked the way you portrayed Diana's thoughts and actions. It was nicely written and well planned.

Genre Relevance (2/5)

Tbh, I don't really think it is as fitting for the fantasy genre as it is for the action genre. Usually, in fantasy stories, there is less action and more adventure.

Plot (9.5/10)

The plot is pretty good. I loved the different tribes and attributes of each tribe. The plot is enough to capture any reader's attention. Well done

Overall enjoyment (2/5)

As I said, the plot and character development are all very good but the grammar, writing style, and cover ruin the story. I think you should request your story for editing in an editing shop or edit it yourself.

Hope that my review will help you improve :)