Title: Forget You Never

Author Name: pedanticjerk

Reviewer: Jae_idk

Title, description, cover:

The title was pretty well chosen, since it's a bit of a spin on the common "never forget you" phrase. The image chosen for the cover is pretty, but I would recommend changing the colour of the text since it does blend in a bit with the background, making it harder to read. I like the quote at the beginning of the description, but the rest is a little too simple so it could really use some more detail to draw in more readers.

Formatting:

Normally, I won't comment on the formatting of a book but I felt the need to here. I like how every chapter starts with a quote and then a trigger warning, it's clear and simple and perfect for a book like this.

Chapter One:

I love the opening paragraph of this chapter! The first chapter of a book is crucial, it's what draws readers, establishes your characters, and kicks off your story. This opening does a good job of establishing that Alice is a cheerful person but perhaps a little odd with the way she's talking to a horse.

The first time we hear of this mysterious "he" is with the line "How long could he?" The buildup to this is great, especially with how smooth the transition was from talking about the seasons to wondering about this unnamed character. The only flaw I can think of is that it might seem like a cheap way to build suspense to some readers, but it is effective so that doesn't quite matter.

Another comment I have about this chapter is related to Finn's job at the store. Though I appreciate how his backstory helps establish the world these characters are living in, simply hinting at it would achieve the same results. I'd suggest you do that, hint at this backstory, instead of putting it in the first chapter. It brings readers away from the present, which isn't exactly advisable for the opening chapter. You could have either Alice or Finn mention something about it, or maybe the store owner walks in and brings it up. How you do it is up to you.

This chapter has a pretty good ending, humorous but also building suspense. Overall, a good opening chapter with some minor issues.

Chapter Two

I'm genuinely curious as to why she's so worked up over this fire now. Especially after the line "a week they had ahead of her" in the fourth paragraph. If there's one thing that's stood out to me in this book so far, it's the suspense.

The description in this chapter is great, and I loved how her ride through the woods was described. It's exciting and you can practically feel the character's adrenaline, so well done on that.

I like that we get some of Alice's backstory in this chapter, the whole thing with her having stayed at an orphanage. Really makes you wonder if that has anything to do with how reclusive she is now... And it definitely has something to do with why she wants to help those children so badly.

We also get more info on this mysterious him. I have to say, you've done an amazing job at keeping readers in the dark without making it frustrating. A common piece of writing advice is to leave readers with questions, so they keep reading. But it's also important to answer or at least partially answer their questions, to give them a taste of what they want so they chase it endlessly through the book.

The ending to this chapter is particularly exciting, as we've finally reached the inciting incident, I assume. The main character has made a life-changing decision, and I'm already invested in her story.

Chapter Three

The switch in POV is interesting, and although Gavin is a completely new character, he doesn't seem unfamiliar at all, though I can't exactly put my finger on why that is.

The orphanage is described to be truly chilling, and you've managed to make it sound worse than a prison, which is honestly quite impressive. The tone has been getting progressively colder through chapters, and it is noticeable so if this was on purpose it was done really well.

Gavin's feelings towards this whole thing really leaves a chill in you, and it's heartbreaking how he isn't sure whether he really wants to leave or not despite how terrible this place is. His whole adoption process is honestly disturbing, but it's nice to have some hope that his life will get better from now.

Chapter Four

This chapter says a lot more about Alice's character, and it's a nice surprise that she isn't exactly what I expected. The mention of being taught to fight up to three men, the pistol she carries, the anger that almost made her snap. She's undoubtedly not the happy-go-lucky main character I expected, and I think I love her character more for it.

There's mention that Gavin is Alice's best friend, forcefully separated from her for years. It's an interesting choice to make Gavin not remember her, and it is honestly just devastating.

The chapter ends with Gavin pulling a knife on her, and again, the suspense is incredibly well-written and a great twist since I'm sure most readers were hoping this would've gone smoothly.

Chapter Five

I'm loving Alice's character more and more. She's trying so hard to make Gavin more comfortable, and though you wish Gavin would trust her you also can't blame him for his trust issues after seeing just a glimpse of what he's been through. It's sad but makes for a great plotline in the long run.

Overall

One thing I loved about this book, though I'm sure I've mentioned it many times before, was the suspense. Even after we've learned who "he" was referring to, readers are still left questioning what the characters are going to do next. Another thing I loved was the characters themselves. They seem very well written and certainly well thought out. However, the description definitely needs some work. This story is honestly great, but the description doesn't represent that. It's a little dull and doesn't tell you enough about the story. If that were improved, I'm sure it would draw in more readers.

A small issue is that the story could use a bit more substance. A sub-plot or two, new characters, more scenes, but there aren't that many chapters so it is understandable. It's fine to have a simpler story, though that does depend on whether you're writing a novel or a novella.

Overall, I loved the characters and enjoyed the short read. The book is honestly underrated, but fixing the description would really help with that.