Book: Master's Doll

Editor: mkmac23

Client: ribbonsandknives

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Hi! So some of the main problems I see are all with punctuation and sentence structure. 

We'll start off with the positive:

You have managed to weave these intricate characters who each had their own faults and problems. It was so much fun to read your book. It was haunting, beautiful and just downright amazing. I was actually frightened to start editing because I liked how you painted your characters so much. 

Rea was... well, he gave me Yoon Bum from Killing Stalking vibes; a broken soul flocking to another broken soul. 

Taurent was a rollercoaster to write. I didn't know whether I liked him or whether I hated his guts. He had like Lazlo Valentin from Batman level perfection vibes and I absolutely loved it. 

Sentence structure:

I don't know how to describe it, but your sentences are like weirdly formatted. There are simple sentences that could be combined with other simple sentences to make a more cohesive sentence length. 

Ex.) He cried out in pain. Sitting down in the rusty old chair he had known for years felt uncomfortable for him.

You could change it to: He cried out in pain as he sat in the familiar rusty old chair. He had known it for years, why did it feel so uncomfortable?

This just makes reading it much more enjoyable and makes the story look more professional.

Punctuation with Dialogue:

Now every author I have edited has had problems with their punctuation, hell, I've had issues with it. The basics of dialogue is this format:

"Rea, get the hell away from Taurent!" Maddie cried out.

"Nah, I'll stay with him," Rea smiled. 

Pay attention to the comma placement. (These errors were rarely made, but I just wanted to point it out.)

I also recommend -after your dialogue- putting whoever said the dialogue's name along with a said-statement (examples: cried, sighed, argued, sang). It lets the reader know who is talking and what tone they're talking in.

Making thoughts italics is another recommendation (you've probably seen the comment that I wrote on your google doc) it looks much more professional.

Well, that's it! DM me if you need any information and don't forget to credit me as the editor in the summary! It was a joy to read your book, thank you for choosing Word Wizard. <3 mkmac23

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Okay, so I wrote that in about the middle of the book. I had seen a lot of similar mistakes so I just typed out a little summary to eventually edit. 

But now that I have finished, your book made me cry. I literally sobbed at the end. It was not just a joy to read your book, it was a damn HONOR to be able to edit your book. It is so delicately written that I hope I didn't damage any other the character arcs (I kept dialogue alone for the most part to keep it intact). 

Haemi was the bestest and I absolutely adored him :)

Please keep writing stuff like that, I will edit it for you no matter how many stories I have to edit. That was a rollercoaster of emotions.