Book: Ghost Chefs

Editor: Krippy93

Client:  _Rae_21

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Chapter 1:

I reworked a couple of sentences and corrected a few typos. Just a question: why is the first part (work) in present tense and the second (break up) in past simple? It's best to use the same verbs, this is why I changed them all to past simple.

Chapter 2:

Nice chapter! I corrected a few of wrong verbs, but for the most part the chapter was well done. I liked the French addictions, but I prefer to add translations in inline comments or at the end of the chapter, not right after the line. Your decision, though!

Chapter 3:

Again, corrected some wrong tenses here and there. Remember that films and original names need the capital letter (Bad Boys III). I also noticed you sometimes get tags wrong. When you say: "Wait for me," she added. You need to put a comma at the end of the sentence and not the lower letter to the tag (she). If you don't have tag, however, you need to close the sentence with a dot.

Chapter 4:

Tenses again. I have a feeling this is your major issue, right? 😉 Also corrected some wrong commas and tags here and there.

Chapter 5:

Is the paragraph signed with ** a thought or a narrative sequence? I think it's okay to use them at present simple since these are basically her thoughts.

Chapter 6:

Good chapter, I corrected just minor things and reworked a couple of sentences to improve the flow. About the French sentences here, I'm still of the idea that it may be better to add the translation in a inline comment and not in the sentence, but you decide!

Chapter 7:

I had to check the original version you had up on wattpad to be sure about a couple of lines (I wasn't sure which were thoughts and which not). I rephrased some sentences and corrected tenses again. Be careful with the punctuation around tags! Sometimes you forgot the comma.

Here in particular, you mixed up thoughts and narration but that made you do some tenses mistakes. To avoid them while keeping the original meaning, I decided to rephrase some lines. I hope it's okay with you!

Ah, be careful about repetitions. Like "office" or first names too close in the same sentence; opt for synonyms or just pronouns when it's possible.

Chapter 8:

Very few corrections to be made here. I decided to switch to capital letters all the Departments names to make it clear you're talking about a specific group.

Chapter 9:

 A lot of wrong tenses here. I reworked a couple of paragraphs to keep the coherence with the past tense you adopted from the start. Be careful about this!

Chapter 10:

Few mistakes here too. "Miss" does not require a dot after it and I also corrected some punctuation errors here and there. A couple of typos too (like pajamas). Sometimes you capitalize letters at random, like "Rain" or "Hot" in the previous chapter; I suppose it's the automatic corrector kicking in! ;D

Chapter 11:

Tenses again in this chapter. Watch out when you switch from present to past! I also reworked a couple of sentences and added some punctuation to improve the flow.

Chapter 12:

You often forgot the 'h' when you write 'yeah'. I fixed tenses here too: it's okay to start with present verbs because you are stating facts, but then you switch to past tense since you're back narrating the story.

Chapter 13:

I noticed you capitalize letters at random in English and French both, so I corrected them. Pay attention to that in the future! You used wrongly the possessive genitive: it's Mason's not Masons'. Using "also" or "too" depends on the sentence, if you wanna say that one person did something like another one you should say "I did it TOO" not "I did it ALSO". The second form is wrong! You can use it, however, to say that in addition to something you did something else, like this: "because I also did this after I've done that".

Chapter 14:

Another great chapter. I just fixed minor typos here, like wrong capital letters and word repetitions (which I replaced with synonyms).

Chapter 15:

I capitalized their nicknames in a consistent way to make it obvious they're nicknames. Few wrong tenses to fix here. I have a question: when you said "serene" you meant "mermaid", right? I've never heard that word, so I thought it was a mermaid thanks to the brief description you added, but feel free to change it back if you prefer!

Chapter 16:

Fixed some tenses here. I wrote in italics the parts I suppose are Amanda thoughts, but correct me if I'm wrong, obviously. You're the author! I've also rephrased some sentences to make them flow a bit better.

Great job!