Third person point of view: 

Natasha puts the phone to her ear and waits for the ringing to start and Maria picks up on the second ring. 

"Hello?" Maria asks. 

"Maria? Please tell me you're there."

"Nat is that you?" Maria asked without giving anything away to the people around her that were listening in on the conversation as she turned to make her way into her own office. 

"Maria don't tell Fury, please! I need you. I need my sister." Natasha pleaded while she was crying. 

"OK. OK. I won't. Just stay on the phone. Hold on. Let me get to my office where no one will bother us. Just give me one second." Maria said trying to calm Natasha down. Maria had just gotten to her office and told her secretary. "Lily. I have to take an urgent phone call. Please make sure that I am not disturbed." 

"OK Natasha, I'm back. Where are you? Are you safe, do you need me to come get you?" 

"I don't know. I don't know anything. I think I'm back in the Red Room, I think they got me!" Natasha said panicked. 

"Whoa whoa. Natasha slow down. Take a breath. I don't think you're back in the Red Room because you wouldn't be able to call me. Take a breath, look around you. What do you see? Why do you think that you're back in the Red Room?" Maria said trying to keep a level head while running a trace on the call to find Natasha. 

Natasha's breathing slowed slightly as she looked around to see where she was at. "I think, I'm in the Budapest house. At least that's what it looks like anyway, but I don't know what's real anymore. Madame B was here and so was Fury and Clint and I don't know. Clint was yelling and screaming at me that it was my fault we lost the baby and it is and Fury said I killed Clint and Madame B said I was going back to the Red Room, to my old ways I don't know!" Natasha screamed through the sobs. 

"Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. Clint's there?" 

"No! No! I don't know! I think I'm seeing things but that only happens in the Red Room. I don't know!" 

"OK. I don't think you're in the Red Room and I don't think Madame B is there. I know Fury isn't there. What happened? Explain it to me. Take a deep breath. I can help you. Tell me where you are so I can come and get you."

"No! No! Don't come get me! I have nothing to come back to! They all hate me! I'm evil! I'm a monster! I killed Elizabeth! Fury told me I killed Clint! I'm a monster I don't deserve you! I don't deserve your love!" Natasha was screaming like she was being murdered.

"Natasha. Natasha. Calm down please. You didn't kill Clint. Calm down or I will have to come and get you because I think you are about to do something that we are both going to regret. Take a deep breath. I need to know what happened. I need to know what's happening so I can help you. I love you Natasha, you're my sister, you said it yourself. You need me, you need my help, so let me help you." Maria pleaded while deadly calm, praying that the trace would hurry up. 

"OK. OK. But you can't tell Nick I called you. You can't tell anyone. They will come looking for me and I don't want that. You can't come looking for me. Promise me!" 

"I promise I won't. I just want to make sure that you are safe. I just need to know that you are OK. I just want to help you so tell me everything from the beginning. Why do you think that you have nothing to come back to? And don't leave out a single detail." She asked trying to calm Natasha down and buy herself more time. 

Natasha took a couple of deep breaths to calm herself and focus her thoughts so she could tell Maria exactly what had happened. "When I woke up no one was there it was only Bruce, Clint wasn't there. After he came and saw me and told me he left, and I haven't seen him since. When I got back from seeing Elizabeth everyone was gone. Everyone. They don't care about me anymore, especially Clint because he drank the bottle of whiskey that we were saving for our first year anniversary. They abandoned me, all of them. The only people that I know still care about me are you and Tony because Tony came and talked to me after I woke up and he packed my go bags for me and left me a little note." 

"Shit. Natasha listen to me they didn't abandon you, after you went to see the baby we called them into S.H.I.E.L.D to cover for you because the council was on us along with the press. They never abandoned you, they were taking care of you the entire time. You can't be mad at them for that, if there is anyone you need to be mad at it's me." Maria said as the trace got closer and closer to Natasha's location. 

"No. They should have told me, and what about Clint?" 

"Nat, I don't know that is something you are going to have to hash out with Clint, but you are going to have to come home to do it. So let's not worry about that right now, tell me what happened next, what did you do, where did you go?"

"I stole the jet and flew myself to Budapest, I got here and came to the house and I hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D for the first time on my trip. I got as many missions as I could without being detected and I started running them and when I ran out I did it again. I can't stop. I can't let anyone else put themselves in harms way when I can do it. I can't let anyone else I care about die because of me." Natasha choked out quietly. 

"Nat, none of this is your fault other than you leaving. I know you've been good, you can't blame yourself for this. None of this is your fault." 

"But Maria it is. It's my fault we lost Elizabeth, it's my fault Clint doesn't love me anymore. I can't even remember half of the things I've done since I've been gone so who knows if I've been good or not. S.H.I.E.L.D doesn't want me back and I know it, Fury is pissed the hell off at me, I quit the Avengers, I have nothing!" Natasha screams as the knife hits the coffee table when she goes to pick it up. 

"Natasha. Clint still loves you, he has never once stopped loving you. Fury would be more than happy to have you back because he has been worried sick about you since you left. You've been good, I know you have because you are good and S.H.I.E.L.D doesn't deserve you back after all of the things that you have been though and have done for this organization." Maria pleaded as the trace zeroed in on Natasha's location and Maria took a deep breath. 

"Give me a reason not to do it. Give me one good reason why I should keep living, why I should keep going through all of this pain. Just give me a reason!" Natasha pleaded with the knife against her wrist. 

"Clint hasn't broken his promise to you. You can't break your promise to him. Fury loves you too much, you were always the favorite out of the two of us. Coulson would hate himself more than he already does because he never got to say goodbye to you. Pepper would be absolutely crushed and Tony would fall into another relapse. Bucky would never stop drinking and looking for you because he would never be able to accept your death, Steve would never be able to work out at the tower again because you never picked up your hair ties from the gym bathroom. You would never hear another one of Sam's corny spider jokes again. You wouldn't get to see Rhodey get the medal of honor when the government finally approves it. Bruce would hate himself for forever because he wouldn't be able to stop blaming himself and he might try the same thing. And then there's me. I would miss you so goddamn much, it would be like I was losing a part of myself because you're like my right hand, you know what I'm thinking before I think it. You wouldn't get to see me and Sam get married, you wouldn't get to be my bridesmaid. I wouldn't be able to do anything with the Avengers without you. I love you Natasha, you are my sister, so please don't do it, I need you. I love you." Maria pleaded with tears streaming down her face. 

"Clint hasn't broken his promise?" Natasha asked out of breath. 

"No of course not. Natasha why are you out of breath? Don't tell me you did it. That's it, I'm coming to get you now." Maria asked getting out of her chair and grabbing her coat. 

"No. No. I didn't do it. I swear. I put the knife down, I didn't do anything. Did he really not break his promise to me?"       

"No Natasha, when Clint promises you something you better be prepared for him to make good on that promise. He promised you after Loki that he wouldn't kill himself or try to kill himself, because he made you promise the same exact thing after you found out what happened after Budapest. He would never break a promise like that, especially when you asked him to make it." Maria said sitting back down.

"So he still loves me?" 

"Yes of course, Natasha why would you ask something like that?" 

"I was never the favorite you know. I've never been anyone's favorite, except for Clint, I guess I didn't believe that anyone can love me, that I can be anyone's favorite. I didn't really believe it when Clint told me that he loved me for the first time, and I still don't really believe it when anyone tells me that they love me." Natasha said relaxing ever so slightly. 

"Natasha..." 

"No Maria listen to me. You have always been Fury's favorite and that's never going to change because you are his first born."

"Natasha, you aren't making any sense. You're older than me, we both know that. Natasha stop worrying about favorites it doesn't matter. Let me come talk to you in person, I won't try and bring you back I promise." 

"No. You're his first born and his favorite because you were the first one he adopted. He adopted you unofficially when you were sixteen and both of your parents died on a S.H.I.E.L.D mission, it was a standard op that went bad, they were going on bad intelligence. I mean Fury and your parents were friends before you were even born so Fury practically raised you. It was natural that Fury took care of you after they died. When you turned sixteen he wanted to formally adopt you, but you refused because you could get by on your own. Fury wasn't going to let you work at some fast food restaurant for minimum wage so he hired you onto to S.H.I.E.L.D, off the books of course. He paid you out of his own salary for two years until you turned eighteen and you could formally enlist. He was always your helping hand at S.H.I.E.L.D, whenever you needed anything he made sure it was taken care of. He just never told you that." Natasha said with the tears starting to flow again. 

"Natasha, how do you know all of that stuff? I don't care that you know because you won't tell anyone, but how did you know all of that?"

"We got drunk one night and you told me your whole story. I found out the rest from Coulson." 

"Wow. See Natasha this is why everyone needs you back. This is why we need you to come back home. Please just let me bring you back home."

"No I told you I have nothing to go back to. This is my home. I can't come back, I'm on the run again. They don't want me back." 

"Natasha I really don't think you understand how much everyone needs and wants you back. If you really think that is true, why have you been laying so low and hiding from us? You know we are looking for you. We just want you back, so that we know you're safe because we need you." Maria begged.  

"No Maria I told you I have nothing to come back to. I'm fine, I'm doing fine on my own. Clint doesn't love me any more so I don't have a home, because he was my home. Thank you for all of your help tonight. I'm sorry I called you like this. Goodbye Maria." Natasha said then hung up the phone. 

After Natasha hung up she realized just how exhausted and hungry she was. She hadn't slept in three days and hadn't ate anything in probably close to four. She grabbed a protein bar from the cupboard and and a blanket from the closet down the hall and fell asleep on the couch with the phone ringing nonstop from Maria. Natasha didn't sleep in the bedroom because she couldn't, she could barely open the door to the bedroom without the memories coming back to her. The bedroom in the Budapest house was the place where Elizabeth was conceived. She didn't want to remind herself of that so she stayed away.  

After Natasha had hung up on Maria, Maria tried to call her back for over a half an hour trying to get her to pick up. Maria was worried about Natasha and how she ended the phone call because Natasha never said goodbye, it wasn't in her nature. Clint always said Natasha wasn't superstitious, but Maria figured that Natasha thought it was bad luck to say goodbye. When Maria finally gave up on getting Natasha to answer she made her way upstairs to the office next to Fury's. When she was shown into the office by the secretary she immediately noticed that something was wrong with the office. 

"Coulson. Where's your miniature Lola? It's not on your desk. What's going on?" Maria asked while looking for Coulson. 

"Oh, I uh sent it in for a couple of upgrades. Stark thinks that he can actually make it fly for me." He said coming out of his storage closet.  

"Makes sense. Hey Coulson. I need your help, I need some advice." 

"Sure Maria. What's up? Is it Sam again? Are you guys fighting or did he ask you the big question?" Coulson asked, getting excited like a teenage girl at a slumber party.

"No. No. It's actually about a friend of mine. She's been acting kind of weird lately, but she's going through a rough time right now so I really don't know what to do." Maria said hinting at who she was talking about without giving up anything specifically. 

"Oh yeah? Do I happen to know this friend?" He asked picking up on her hints.

"Yes."

"Nat?" Coulson signed to Maria.

"Yes. It's bad we need to talk, but not here." She signed back, because she didn't want Fury to hear if he was listening in.

"OK, do you want to go get some coffee and talk over what you want to do?" Coulson asked out loud. 

"Yeah. That sounds great because I have no clue what to do." Maria said with a smile. Coulson and Maria make their way down to the ground and walk to a nearby coffee shop together. Once they order they notice that it is surprisingly empty, because it's usually full of S.H.I.E.L.D agents who can't stand the office coffee. 

"Isn't this place usually busier?" Maria asked as they sat down. 

"Yeah, I may or may not have accidentally tripped the alarm that calls all S.H.I.E.L.D agents in the area back to base. I thought we might want to chat in private." Coulson said with a shrug and a smirk.

"Good, because this is bad and I mean really fucking bad." 

"What happened? Did you somehow get a location on Natasha? Don't tell me they got to her again." 

"I have a location on her, but the Red Room didn't get to her, thank god, or whoever is out there orchestrating all of this. Natasha called me in the middle of a breakdown. She almost killed herself while she was on the phone with me. It was bad. I stopped her for the moment, but who knows how long that is going to last."

"Shit. I thought we were out of this phase. Fuck." He sighed rubbing his hands over his face. "Did she say if she was with anyone, or what happened? Did she say anything she was going to do next?"

"Yeah, she said a lot actually. I recorded the whole phone call to be honest in case it went south and you know, she did something that we would all regret. Wanna hear it?" Maria asked and Coulson nodded so she got out her phone pressed a couple of buttons and he put it up to his ear and listened to the entire phone call. When he was done he set the phone down and waited a couple of seconds for it all to sink in. 

"Where is she?" He asked. 

"Budapest, she said she's in the house that her and Clint bought. I don't know if she's going to move, or if she's going to stay there, I have no clue what her next move is. I've never seen her like this and it has me worried."

"She's in a bad spot, a really bad spot. She can't blame herself for what happened, it wasn't her fault. I can't go get her, and neither can you, or Pepper, or Tony. I've never seen her this broken and at this point I don't know if she'll ever be able to be put back together, but if anyone has a shot at doing it you know who it is." 

"Coulson, I don't know if that's the right move here. Maybe we should just tell Nick and he can go get her, he's always been able to talk her off the ledge. She thinks Clint blames her for everything that happened. She doesn't think he loves her anymore and she's trying to move on from that. I really don't want to go after her because I promised her, but maybe I should." 

"No Maria, sending Clint after her is the only way to play this. The reason why she thinks Clint doesn't love her is because he didn't go after her. Whenever Natasha runs, Clint always chases after her, and Natasha does the same for him. This time they both ran, and I think it would be easier to send Clint after Natasha, then to send Natasha after Clint. I'm going to go get him, get his ass in shape, and send him after Natasha." 

"But, what about all of that she was saying with the bottle, what if Clint is actually done? We can't risk it Coulson, because what if he goes after her and it goes south and does the opposite of what we want it to do?" 

"Maria, listen to me. I know you don't understand this so just listen. Clint and Natasha were made for each other, they are soulmates. Clint can never stop loving Natasha, he told me so himself. They will never be able to not stay together for very long. I mean the allfather only joins two people in marriage if he absolutely believes that they can withstand anything, that they were made for each other, that they are soulmates. We just need them to talk to each other for them to realize that." 

Maria still looked unconvinced and worried when Coulson got up and walked over to her. "Don't worry I've got this. I've done this a time or two." He whispered in her ear while giving her a hug. He then turned and walked out of the coffee shop.