Part 42

Third person point of view: 

Pepper made her way out of her and Tony's room after getting ready to spend the day with Clint and Natasha, who was still in a coma. She made her way down to the kitchen and grabbed some food and got something for Bruce and Clint even though he probably wouldn't touch it. After encountering no one which was odd considering that it was past nine o'clock in the morning. She made a quick pass through the lab to find Tony tinkering and to let him know that she was awake.

"Morning Tony. I'll be down with Nat and Clint if you need me."

"Morning Pepper. How are you doing today?" Tony asked hesitantly.

Pepper gave a sad smile and replied. "I'll be down with Nat and Clint, thank you for letting me not be at Stark right now. I just can't right now."

"Whatever you need Pepper I'm here for you." Tony said coming over and giving her a hug and a kiss on the top of her head. 

"Thank you Tony." She said and then turned to leave. 

"Oh and by the way. I wouldn't go down to the range or the training room. Steve finally got Bucky to sober up and he's been down there taking his aggression out on things." Tony said over his shoulder and Pepper nodded and continued on her way. 

Pepper made her way to the wing where Natasha was and gave Bruce the protein bar and apple that she had grabbed for him. Rhodey and Steve were both down there doing their daily checks on Natasha and she assumed that Sam had already been down. Clint was quietly resting with his head on Natasha's bed and her hand in his, every time the monitor that was watching her heart beeped ever so differently Clint would look up at it and check on her. Pepper had finally redone Natasha's hair knowing that she would have hated looking so uncomposed. Bruce had put a feeding tube in her a day ago. Natasha had now been in a coma for five days. As Pepper sat down in her usual seat opposite of Clint and turned on the T.V. her phone rang and she picked it up without looking at it, assuming it was Tony. 

"Yeah Tony, What's up, I just got down here."

"I am sorry Miss Potts but this is not Mr. Stark. It's Jamie your secretary. I know, I know, I know that you are on leave and I was told not to bother you unless it was the end of the world and I'm so so so sorry, but Happy told me to call you because we have a major issue here at Stark. There was a massive security breach and we need to make this deal and we need your security override and passcode to do it because the servers are down. I'm so sorry Miss Potts I know I wasn't supposed to bother you." Jamie, the awkward secretary said rushed and slightly panicked. 

"It's fine Jamie. It's not your fault. Let happy know that I will be there in thirty minutes." Pepper said barely containing her rage. 

"I'm so sorry Miss Potts." Jamie rushed to get out as Pepper hung up the phone. Clint was awoken by another change in Natasha's monitor and Pepper's conversation and had rushed to try and wake himself up. 

"What was that? Is everything OK?" Clint said looking at all of Natasha's monitors and moving to look at her face even though Bruce knew everything was OK.

"Yeah Clint, it's just Stark. I have to go see what's going on there even though I'm supposed to be on leave and I'm not supposed to be able to be reached, but it's fine I guess." Pepper said clearly furious. 

"OK." Clint said still distracted and trying to check on Natasha. 

"Oh by the way here's some food I brought down from the kitchen. It's a protein bar, you need to try and eat something. I didn't want to wake you while you were sleeping. You haven't slept in days." Pepper said while handing Clint the food. 

"I'm fine Pepper. I just need to be here for Natasha." Clint said brushing off her obvious concern. 

Pepper's phone buzzed with a text from Happy saying that she needed to hurry, which infuriated her even more. "Clint I've got to go. I'll be back." Pepper said walking out the door furiously. 

Pepper made her way upstairs to her room and quickly applied makeup and changed into her Stark attire to make sure that no one knew anything was wrong and made her way onto the helipad where Jarvis had the helicopter waiting for her. She arrived at Stark headquarters in New York twenty five minutes from when she hung up the phone with Jamie. She made her way through her lobby to find Jamie waiting for her. 

"Good morning Miss Potts. I am so sorry for bothering you and making you come all the way down here, but the breach was fixed and the deal just went through. I'm so so sorry. I got your favorite coffee though." Jamie said extremely nervous as he saw Pepper's rage mounting.

"You mean to tell me that you didn't need me here at all!" Pepper screamed at him as they made their way into Pepper's office. 

"Yes ma'me. I am so so sorry. Happy had me call you and the deal just went through. I am so sorry. I couldn't reach you in time. I didn't know what to do. I also got you your favorite pastry from the bakery down the street." Jamie said offering up the pastry and coffee to try and quell her rage. 

"Where the hell is Happy?!" She screamed, getting even more mad and taking the coffee and pastry from the terrified kid.  

"He's on his way. He'll be up in just a minute." The secretary said excusing himself to go call Happy again. When Happy came in the room he was prepared for a lot, but he was not prepared for what he got. 

"What the Fuck Happy! I was on leave! You know that I do not take leave unless I absolutely need it! There was no reason for me to have to be called in here! You don't even know the shit that I have been dealing with for the past few days! It's unfucking bearable, but no, none of you care. There is no reason for me to be here and yet look where I'm standing!" Pepper screamed while pacing and not noticing that Happy had brought someone with him. 

Happy stood in shocked silence for a few seconds while Pepper was still fuming. When Happy had thought Pepper had got most of her frustrations out he cleared his throat, but Pepper cut him off. 

"And no one here knows what I've been dealing with trying to balance the Avengers and Stark for the past year because when I don't help the Avengers the world ends up going to shit! It's like everyone here is incapable of doing anything without their hand being held and they have to be walked through each step twenty god damn times!"

"Pepper I'm sorry for calling you. I didn't want to, but you were the only person that could authorize the deal." Happy said unsure of himself slightly. 

"Whatever. Get out. I'm here so I might as well get to work." Pepper said still furious and barely containing her rage. 

"Yeah. I'm sorry Pepper." Happy said while dragging the man who he had brought with him out of the office. 

As they were leaving the man whispered or thought he whispered to Happy. "Man, I guess it must be that time of the month, am I right?" Happy simply looked at him disgustedly and prayed for his sake that Pepper didn't hear him. 

"Excuse me! What did you just say about me?" Pepper screamed. 

The man turned to look at Pepper and shrunk away from her when he saw how furious she was. "I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me just then" The man said trying to explain away his actions. 

"Happy, who the hell is this buffoon?" Pepper yelled without acknowledging the man. 

"This is the new C.E.O of the tech group that we just signed the deal with. The one we needed your approval for." Happy said knowing that the deal was going to be cancelled. 

"Cancel the deal right now! I don't care what you have to do, or what I have to sign. I do not want Stark to be associated with sexist pigs like this idiot." Pepper yelled while walking over to the man. 

"Yes ma'me. Would you like me to remove Mr. White from the building?" Happy asked grabbing the mans arm.

"Now wait one second. I don't think that this is fair. My compa..." Mr. White started but was cut off by Pepper. 

"No. You want to know what isn't fair. The fact that you only made that comment because I am a woman and you think that we can't control our emotions which is why you think we are not fit to hold the same positions that you do. That is what isn't fair Mr. White, and I swear to god if i even hear of you making another sexist remark to another woman I will make sure that the only job you will ever be able to get is working sixteen hours a day in a sweatshop in the middle of India. And you don't want to know what I will do to your career if I ever see you step foot in this building again. Do I make myself clear Mr. White?" Pepper said with a fury in her eyes that would make anyone shake where they stood. The man nodded and Happy yanked him out of Pepper's office and gave him to security to escort out of the building while Happy went to go cancel the deal. 

After the men had left Pepper walked over to her desk and powered on her computer. As she was waiting for it to turn on she looked around her desk. She saw all of the framed pictures that she had, one was of her and Tony the night they moved into the tower, another was of her, Tony, and Happy smiling at the camera after a celebratory dinner. There was a group shot of the avengers, and another of her, Natasha, and Maria enjoying a girls night. The last picture that she looked at on her desk, was also the newest, and the one that got her to break down. It was a framed ultrasound picture that Natasha had given her after she found out that she was going to be the baby's Godmother. There was even a little inscription on the frame that said "My first picture, for my Godmother and Aunty." Pepper clutched the picture to her chest and began to sob, about five minutes later Happy walked in to tell Pepper the deal was cancelled. 

"Hey Pepper. The deal is canc... Pepper? Pepper? Pepper what's wrong? Was it the guy? I'm going to go give him a peice of my mind, I really thought that he was an OK guy. I guess he wasn't." Happy said rushing over to Pepper's side and helping her over to the couch because she was sobbing so uncontrollably. Pepper shook her head and leaned into Happy while she sobbed. After a few minutes she had calmed herself down enough so she was able to show him the picture. 

"Yeah. I noticed the new frame on your desk. What is it?" Happy said looking at the picture confused. 

"It was my Goddaughter, Natasha's baby." Pepper managed to choke out. 

"Natasha? Natasha Romanoff? What? Since when? What the hell has been happening at Avengers tower?" Happy asked utterly confused.

Pepper took a few deep breaths and began again telling the story from the beginning. "Six and a half months ago Natasha found out she was pregnant with Clint's baby. I've known they've been together for forever, but they also told the other Avengers that they were together then too. After that we put the tower on lockdown and limited the amount of visitors in and out. Clint and Natasha wanted to keep the baby safe because a lot of people hate them. Natasha was still able to go out and stuff until she started showing though, well actually remember when you had to pick us up because we thought we got compromised?"

"Oh yeah. That was a while ago. You guys didn't seem to be in a good place then." 

"Well that had something to do with the fact that Natasha was pregnant and in a bad mood also because someone from Russia had spotted us that day and she was terrified that they were going to take her, or the baby. We made it out of that phase and the first and the second and most of the third trimesters without any complications. Well actually there was a pretty big complication towards the end of the third trimester." Pepper said stopping to take a few breaths and then beginning again.  

"Natasha had been at the tower for a couple of days mostly by herself, I mean Sam and Rhodey were there to make sure nothing happened and Bruce was only a phone call away but he was doing a research project with Tony at S.H.I.E.L.D. I mean Natasha could take care of herself, you know that as well as I do, but just as a safety precaution. I was on a business trip like a month and a half ago to L.A. when it happened. Natasha had felt the baby moving a lot all of a sudden and it was painful for her, but she'd never admit it to anyone so she kinda started panicking, thinking that she was going into labor so early, but she wouldn't let Jarvis call Bruce because all of a sudden it stopped. And she gets on the phone and she calls me in hysterics saying that she lost the baby and that it was all her fault and that she didn't deserve anything. I tried every trick I know to get her to calm down, but none of them were working so I flew back the same day and was there in three hours. When I get to the tower I find her sitting in the nursery sobbing and whispering to the baby in Russian. I felt bad about it but I had Jarvis translate for me and she was whispering. 'Please don't leave me little one. You are the only thing I have ever wanted in life and I can't lose you. Please come back to me. Please tell me that you're OK.'" Pepper stopped and had to blow her nose before she continued on. 

"I talked to her a little after she noticed me because I didn't want to scare her even more. I tried to convince her to tell Bruce what was happening but she wouldn't, she couldn't even make her way down to the lab to check on the baby herself because she was so scared that she had lost it. I finally convince her to let me listen to the baby with the stethoscope to make sure that it was OK, and when I did the baby seemed fine enough to me because I could hear it's heartbeat, but it was another two days before Natasha felt the baby move again so we were pretty worried for a while."

"Oh my god. Natasha's pregnant. That makes so much more sense why she wouldn't let me come see her when I called her a couple of weeks ago to see if she was doing anything for her birthday that's coming up. I feel really stupid now. I should get her a gift for the baby. What'd she have or what is she having, a boy or a girl? Or are her and Barton waiting to find out?" Happy said not understanding why Pepper was so upset. 

"Happy. There is no baby anymore. She was stillborn five days ago. There was nothing anyone could do. There were complications with the labor and delivery, Natasha's in a coma. We don't know when or if she's going to wake up." Pepper said with more tears falling.

"What? Oh my god. Pepper I'm so sorry. I know how much Natasha means to you and with how you've been acting for the past while, the baby meant a lot to you too. I'm sorry Pepper." Happy said wrapping her in a bear hug.

"It's fine Happy. I mean the baby meant a lot to me, she was my niece and goddaughter. I was going to spoil her so much, we were going to do so many things, but I'm not upset for me. I'm just upset for Natasha, she wanted this baby so badly. She was so scared at the beginning, but after she was just excited, she would have done anything for her little girl, she wanted to quit S.H.I.E.L.D and just be a mom, but she knew that could never happen and she hated that fact." Pepper said getting another tissue and staring at the picture. 

"Pepper it's not fine. You have been acting so weird these past few months and I thought it had something to do with Tony, but now it makes sense. You've been leaving to be with Natasha because Clint can't, that's why you moved headquarters here, you wanted to be closer to her. You aren't fine Pepper, go home, go be with Natasha." 

"No Happy I'm fine. I'm here anyway. I might as well get to work, I could use the distraction."

"No you're going home. You've done enough. You weren't even supposed to be here today and I forced you here. Go home, I can take care of everything. Come on lets get you home." Happy said helping Pepper up. Pepper nodded and let Happy take her to the helipad where the helicopter would then take her home. As she buckled her seat belt Happy leaned in and gave her a hug and said. "Take care of yourself Pepper and come back when you're ready and not a moment before. Understand?"

"Yes. Happy." She said while still holding the picture. Happy nodded and closed the door. The helicopter then took off and Pepper was back at the tower in fifteen minutes. She made her way down from the roof and into Clint and Natasha's room to then go into the hospital wing but she stopped herself and went into the nursery instead. When she looked around she debated disassembling it, but decided against it knowing that Natasha would want to see it. She saw Steve's painting of her name over the crib and stared at it for a moment.

"I've got to do something. I can't just sit here anymore. I've got to do something." Pepper said making her way out of the nursery and into the main elevator and going into the kitchen where she met Rhodey who had just finished his workout. 

"Morning Pepper. Did you go to Stark this morning?" Rhodey asked confused by her attire. 

"Yeah they're all idiots and called me in even though they didn't need me and I told them I was taking leave. It's fine though I needed the motivator, I'm tired of sitting on my ass, crying, and drinking so I'm actually going to do something productive." 

"OK. What do you plan on doing? And how can I help?" Rhodey asked, staring at her while she took off her smeared makeup. 

"I'm going to plan the baby's funeral. Go get me Tony and Sam, and Clint if he isn't asleep. Invite Bruce if you want but he's not going to leave Natasha. We are going to need all of the help we can get."

"Pepper is this really a good idea? I mean we are all still pretty torn up and Natasha isn't even awake yet. Shouldn't we wait and include Natasha in all of this?"

"No Natasha isn't going to be able to do it and with Clint's current mental state he's not going to either. We've got to do this, or it's not going to get done and everyone needs this. Oh and I forgot, try and get Steve and Bucky too." Pepper said sitting down at the kitchen table and getting out her laptop. 

"OK. I'll go get them. If they don't want to come do I tell them it's a family meeting?"

"Yes but don't force them, that will only make the situation worse and we need all of the help we can get." 

Rhodey nodded to Pepper and went to gather all of the guys. Tony came easiest when Rhodey said that Pepper needed his help. Steve was immediately ready to help, but had to drag Bucky out of the training room. Sam came quickly, but was hard to find so Rhodey had to call him, it turns out he had locked himself in his room and was listening to music which is why he didn't hear anyone. Then he made his way down to get Bruce and Clint. When he arrived he found Clint out cold laying next to Natasha.

"Bruce. What's going on there?" Rhodey said pointing to Clint and Natasha.

"I was tired of him waking up every five minutes because he couldn't feel her breathing or hear the heart-rate monitor. So I just told him to lay next to her but not to touch her stomach because of the stitches, and I figured it can't hurt because it might help her to realize and wake up." 

"Oh I got it now. How's he doing?"

"He's not doing good. I can't get him to eat or sleep, he's worried about Natasha and so am I, she should have woke up by now. I'm starting to think that she doesn't want to wake up."

"No, she'll wake up. She's Natasha. She wouldn't leave Clint and she especially wouldn't leave the baby if she didn't have to. She doesn't know about it yet, she'll wake up. She has too." 

"We'll see, but I'm never going to bet against Natasha again. I did that once and it didn't work out that well for me." 

"OK. I'll take your word for it. If you want a break we're planning the baby's funeral for Clint and Natasha so they don't have to. We'll be upstairs." Rhodey said hesitantly. 

"Thanks but no thanks. I don't want to leave Natasha and Clint when he is asleep because he freaks out when I leave and don't tell him." 

Rhodey nodded and made his way back upstairs to find everyone sitting at the table, quietly waiting for him to arrive. 

"OK. Now that everyone is here let's get started because this is going to suck, I'm not going to lie." Pepper said taking charge. 

"Why are we doing this now? I don't think that we should be doing this, I think everyone needs a little more time." Steve spoke up quietly. 

"No I think it's a good time. We need to move on, we need to get past this. I think after we get some closure we will all be better." Tony said somberly, then continued "Plus we all know that Nat and Clint aren't going to be able to do it. We need to do this."

"We shouldn't be doing this." Bucky muttered angrily. 

"None of you have to be here, you can leave any time you want or need to, no one is forcing you to be here." Pepper said honestly. 

"No. We are all staying, I'm just saying this sucks." Bucky said deciding for everyone. 

"It does. Where are we going to start?" Sam said speaking up for the first time. 

"I was thinking we should start by deciding how we are going to do it. Are we burying her or are we going to cremate her?" Pepper asked taking charge. 

"I think we should start by saying her name so we have something to call her, other than her." Tony said irritated.

"Elizabeth Peggy Barton." Steve and Pepper said at same time. 

"You saw her room?" Steve asked to which Pepper nodded. 

"OK. Now that everyone knows her name, can we move on?" Rhodey asked.

"Yes. What are we choosing?" 

"We can't cremate her. We can't, I'm sorry, but we can't. Natasha wouldn't want it." Bucky said angrily. 

"OK, Clint and Bruce both aren't here so are we going to address the elephant in the room,that we all keep dancing around?" Sam asked and waited for a response that he never got. He then continued after a few seconds. "What if Natasha doesn't wake up?"

"No. Natasha is going to wake up. I don't have a doubt in my mind that she will wake up. She's Natasha, she will wake up. She's been through things that are a thousand times worse. She's going to wake up." Tony said forcefully and with conviction. 

"OK. Now that we got that out of the way. Let's move on. We are burying her, so where are we going to do it?" Pepper said awkwardly moving on. 

"Close, somewhere quiet, where Clint and Natasha can visit her in peace. I don't care if we have to buy a whole cemetery, money doesn't matter. Elizabeth is only going to have the best." Tony said. 

"OK. Does anyone know how big she is? So we can get an approximate size for..." Pepper stopped and caught her breath. "For her coffin." She said with a sniffle at the end.  

"She is six pounds, fifteen ounces, and nineteen inches long according to Dr. Banner's notes." Jarvis said speaking up after a short silence.

"Oh my god she was tiny. She was so small, that's like not even a gallon of milk." Tony said astonished.

"Well, what did you expect? Natasha isn't very big, the baby wasn't going to be either." Pepper said not looking at him. 

"I don't know. I just thought she'd be bigger, you know with Nat's enhancements and stuff. Plus Bruce said she was a normal size." 

"Tony, that is the normal size. How big did you think newborns were?" Rhodey asked. 

Tony opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Steve. "OK. I feel like we are getting off track here. Pepper what have you found?" Steve asked getting up to look at what Pepper had on her laptop. 

"Coffins. A lot of them too. Are we going to go decorative, or simple, or custom?" 

"I told you. Only the best for Elizabeth and nothing less. This is the last time I'll ever get to spoil her and I am not going to miss this opportunity, like I missed out on all of the other ones to help out Natasha while she was pregnant, because I was stupid and hiding away in the workshop. I only want Elizabeth to have the best, because it's what she deserves." Tony said with small tears coming out of his eyes that he quickly wiped away. 

"OK. But what does the best mean? Does that mean the most expensive, or the one that Natasha and Clint feel like represented her the most?" Sam asked starting to raise his voice. 

"Stop yelling!" Bucky said as others started to join in. "I'm making the executive decision that we are going with a simple, but beautiful white casket, because she was the most pure and innocent thing that any of us could have ever had. She should have been able to live but she wasn't, she made us all so happy that anything other than white would be a crime." 

"Is that what Natasha would want?" Pepper asked. 

"Well she wouldn't have wanted a funeral, but she always said this baby was her second chance, her chance at a new life, a way to wipe out all of her red, so yeah this is what Natasha would want." 

"OK. Fine, it's ordered." Pepper said after a few clicks and a few seconds of typing. 

"Are we doing a headstone or a plate that's in the ground?" Pepper asked the group while going onto another website. 

"Well considering Tony's other answers that's a stupid question." Sam said slightly sarcastic. 

"We're doing a headstone." Tony said while walking to the kitchen to get some coffee. 

"I know. The biggest and nicest one I can find. Wait, but where are we doing it? There's regulations depending on the cemetery." Pepper said looking at the warning on the website. 

"I feel like we need to let Nat and Clint decide that. We don't know where they would want her to be, and we can't ask them right now." Steve said softly. 

"OK. We all know how Natasha is going to react to this when she wakes up, right? Because if I know my left from my right, it's going to be bad. Natasha isn't going to handle this well considering the fact of how well we are all handling this and we didn't carry the baby inside of us for nine months." Rhodey said breaking his silence. 

"Well how well would you react?" Bucky said rushing to her defense. 

"That's my point. What are we going to do when Natasha wakes up because I'm almost positive that it isn't going to be pretty, and I know we can't take away the weapons, so what is our game plan going to be?" 

"Are you suggesting that Natasha would try and kill herself?" Steve said not understanding and getting frustrated. 

"Well considering the fact that we are all a bunch if self sacrificing idiots. It's not that far of a stretch." Tony said. 

"Also knowing that I had to stop Clint from jumping off the roof last night, it isn't that far out of the realm of possibilities." Bucky added in. When everyone gaped at him he went on explaining. "I saw him go out onto the roof for some fresh air last night but he was acting different for some reason and I thought that he was going to leave again but this time not come back so I followed him. He went and sat down on a bench up there and just looked at the stars for a few minutes and then he gets up and walks over to the edge of the roof and just looks out over the edge for a long time. After maybe ten minutes or so he actually sits on the ledge and that's when I go over and talk him down." Bucky finished and everyone was still staring silently at him. 

"He told me that when Natasha wakes up she isn't going to want to live anymore because this baby was her everything. We know that already, but Clint said that she wouldn't care about him anymore and what was the point of living if he didn't have the baby and he didn't have Natasha. So when she wakes up it isn't going to be pretty." 

"No. It's not. I'm sorry about last night and not telling any of you guys, I just needed to handle that on my own for a minute." Clint said walking in behind Pepper so that he could see her computer screen.

"Clint. Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell me you needed help?" Pepper asked rushing over to give him a hug.  

"You're planning her funeral?" Clint asked around the lump in his throat. 

"We thought it would be best. So that you and Nat wouldn't have to, if you want us to stop we can." Steve said coming over. 

"No, no. It's fine. Thank you guys. How far along have you guys gotten?" Clint said rubbing his eyes and trying to pull up a chair while Pepper was still trying to hold onto him. "Hey, Pepper I'm fine. Can I sit down please?"

"Yeah sorry, but Clint we need to talk after this is over."

"We uh ordered her coffin, but if you don't like it we can get something different. We were working on getting her a headstone, but uh we didn't know where you guys would want her." Tony said tentatively. 

"Here's fine. Pepper would you stop staring at me I'm fine. I just got an hour of sleep." Clint said noticing Pepper's staring. 

"Do you mean like here, here? Or the United States here? Or?" Sam asked confused.

"New York's fine. We couldn't do it in Budapest because neither one of us would ever be able to go back to that city and anywhere else just doesn't feel right."

"Yeah of course. We'll pick out a nice spot upstate. Somewhere quiet, where you and Nat can visit her in peace. We'll make sure that no one finds out so you guys won't be bothered." Pepper said typing things into the computer. "Do we want to set a tentative date?" 

"I don't even know what the date is. I don't think we can set a date until Natasha wakes up." Clint said while yawning. 

"It's the twentieth  of November. Elizabeth would have been five days old today." Bucky said without looking up from the table. 

"Wait it's the twentieth already? Natasha's birthday is in two days! We don't have anything prepared!" Tony said standing up from his chair and rushing over to the counter. 

"Uh Tony. I don't think that right now is the best time to be making birthday plans. Maybe we can talk about this later?" Pepper said noticing how upset both Bucky and Clint were getting. 

"Don't worry Tony. If Natasha wakes up in time I have something." Clint said and got up to get more coffee and made his way back down to where Natasha was.   



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