Sam

When I returned to town after my three months training, I came to terms with one truth.

I missed Millie.

Surprisingly it was not the sex, I slept with few women here and there in that duration. Like always, it was good. Nothing to complain about. I ogled a few. It was good too. With all that, there was an undercurrent, buzzing. Telling me something was not as it should be.

That's when I got it.

I simply missed him. Beyond sex.

Our late night walks and uncomplicated conversations. Our silly laughs and cookery trials. My time with Millie hadn't been just about sex. There was more. So much more between us.

One night, I texted him, deciding to stop our fight. They say saying sorry doesn't mean you are wrong, but you value the relationship more. So I gave it a go.

I'm sorry. Let's forget it and be friends again?

He hadn't replied for a week. And when I was ready to send another one, a text came.

No.

For some reason it hurt. We weren't BFF. I knew him for about a month. But his rejection hurt. His disgusted look haunted me day and night.

Now I was back, no wiser than before. At least I knew that I wanted to fix our broken friendship.

After reporting at duty I went directly downtown in hopes of catching him unawares. But I saw him right at the fresh produce stand when I stopped for a red signal across the street. He was standing there facing my direction. My stomach dropped out at his new look. I sat there frozen in my car.

It was Millie, no doubt. He was talking to the cart guy, waving a bunch of parsley.

Gone was the black mane of lengthy, wavy hair. Now his hair was a harsh fade on the sides and back with only a few inches of bangs left in the front. Most of his baby pink scalp was visible. And he had a fucking beard. Not some stubble, it was a full on tailored beard. Covering his cheek and chin in neat trims.

Millie did this because of me, I was sure of it. This was a message to me.

Because I said he looked like a woman.

Now no one could say that. His shirt was that loose fitting, full hand, lengthy one, it hid his butt completely. His army style shorts were one size big, with many pockets.

This was a punch to my gut. I did this.

Millie laughed at something the other guy said and I could still see the same Millie I knew. The same lovely laugh. It stirred the same feelings like before.

As I stared at his changed appearance, I came to terms with another fact.

He could grow a belly length beard and tree trunk sized thighs, and wear saintly clothes, I would still take him to bed and make him beg for more, moaning my name.

Fuck.

How's that possible? I ain't gay.

A Benz passed my car, the driver peered through the window staring at me. I was blocking the traffic. Not the place to sort through my thoughts.

I drove ahead without stopping at Millie's pizza place.

A totally unwarranted thought popped up.

I had never seen a single hair in Millie's baby smooth body. I thought he was naturally hairless. His beard had proven me wrong. Was he shaving everywhere? How the heck was his skin still soft?

****

Millie~~POV

He's back in town.

Everyday, I expected him to show up at the restaurant so that I could tell him to get lost one last time.

My yelling lacked the punch when I asked him to leave. I hated that I couldn't yell at someone without my voice breaking and shaking. It made me look weak and pathetic. Now that I had time to think, I had better comebacks. I'd say them with cool composure, without crying. Without yelling.

I did accept the fact that there were morons out there who saw everything via their tinted glasses. Blind to the real colors. I changed my hair style and wardrobe to help them and for my safety. But that didn't mean I forgave Sam or his offhand remarks born out of arrogance.

I wanted to hurt him as much as he did.

As if he knew my plans, he didn't visit for a week.

Then one night he showed up at the door when I was cleaning the tables after closing.

He stood next to the door holding it open, without stepping in fully, as if asking for permission to enter.

"We're closed." I said.

He nodded and stepped in closing the door.

I had seen him only in passing through his car window, now I could see that he had gained more bulk. Probably the training.

When my inspection reached his face, my heart beat tripped.

When did his face become so dear to me?

I held my hands together to stop from reaching out and kissing him.

All this time I thought I was just angry at him, but that's not the only feeling. I cared for him. I missed his sorry face.

"Why beard?"

I arched my eyebrows.

He hung his head. "You still look nice."

"Still womanly?"

He shook his head. "When I said you looked like a woman, It was a compliment."

Just like that my anger won over all other emotions.

"Why are you here?" I snapped.

"I don't get it, but I'm sorry I made you upset. I don't want to lose you over this misunderstanding. I want us to have a good relationship."

As always he sounded sincere. But I had learnt my lesson.

"Relationship? What kind? What—"

He put up his hands. "Anything. Whatever is comfortable for you. Just don't shut me out. Please."

I thought for a second and held my head high, I'd never give him a chance to insult me again. "Fine. You're the deputy. I own a shop in your city limits. That's what we would be."

His throat worked as he stared at me.

"Okay." He nodded.

"Good night, deputy." I said when he made no other comment.

"May I walk you home?"

"No. Thanks."

He nodded again. "Good night, Millie."

I waited as he reached for the door.

He stopped before opening it. "I'm... I'm... can you promise me something?"

"Depends..." I shrugged.

"Don't delete my number. Call me if you need."

My eyes pooled remembering that night. "I don't need you." It's true. The past three months I had no help, I did everything on my own and survived. Became a strong person because of it. I even learnt that you don't need two people to hang a picture. Thanks to YouTube.

"As your deputy sheriff, I'm responsible for your safety."

"I'll call 911." I said haughtily.

He sighed. "Please."

It's childish to fight over this. So I gave in. "Fine."

He nodded one last time and left.

When I locked up I remembered that I didn't deliver any of my punch filled comebacks.

When he asked why beard, I should have said to help the blind.

Next time. Sam would see the new side of me, the independent, snappy Millie who had no time for bastards like him.

**** End of Chapter Five ****