Dananjay Reddy

"No, mamma. I'm in the office. Yes, working. Bye." I cut the call, cursing my cousin for getting married this soon.

When anyone in my huge extended family got married, I had to hear a standard tear jerking speech from mamma. I couldn't fault her. She wanted me to get married and have a family like every boy around her did.

She didn't know that her son wasn't like every other boy.

For one, I was gay. I had no doubt she would go to an early grave if I told her that.

For the other, I was in love with my idiot boss who was currently eyeing me like I was a puzzle piece. When he came to see me yesterday, I had this minuscule hope that maybe he liked me. He put a bomb on that hope by asking me to be his sex worker. Asshole. If it was anyone else, I would have hit and then asked questions. But it was Will.

Did I say that I was blinded by my love for him? There was no other reason for me to come back. Fuck me.

Now my cousin was tying the knot. I had to go home this time. I hadn't visited my family in four years. I should go. Even though I hated mamma for her constant nagging, I missed everything else about her.

My intercom sang. "What do you want?" I snapped.

"Why are you looking worried?" Will asked.

"None of your business." I glared at him. A glass door split our office spaces in a big room that only we two occupied.

"You're not working. It's my business."

Without breaking eye contact, I put the receiver back down and got out of my seat. He could shove that attitude right up his ass.

With slowly building anger, I walked out of the room. He wasn't like this when I joined this damned company. He was still in college and visited once in a while. Whichever floor he was in, he had everyone clutching their middle with laughter.

My phone rang.

It's him.

I let it go to voicemail and went to the pantry.

A few clusters of people stood and chatted while drinking their coffee or whatever.

An intern waved at me. "Hey, Dan. GG left?"

"No..." I took my mug and turned to wash it when the whole room went quiet.

Will stood there, glaring.

Like scared pigeons everyone flew out of the room in a blink of an eye.

"Who is GG?" He asked, getting closer to where I stood.

"You. Grumpy Gun." I explained and filled my cup with hot water for tea.

He scoffed. "Gun? Why?"

"You fire."

"Ha ha ha."

"Do you want a drink?" I placed a tea bag in mine and let it seep.

"Why did you walk out? I just wanted to know why you were upset." He glanced around the pantry as if it was a new coffee shop. Maybe it was for him. He never came to pantries. It was beneath his position.

"Then you went and pulled the I'm the boss, everything is my business shit." I grumbled.

"I always pull that shit." He leaned on the counter and smelled my mug. His shoulder brushed mine.

Gritting my teeth, I moved an inch away.

"If we're talking about what you always do, what you did back there wasn't your always. Why even ask me a personal question?" I shot back.

He looked away. "Can't I? You were on the phone for ten minutes and then your face changed. I got worried, thinking it was some bad news."

My heart raced. He had been watching me the whole time. Why?

He's still curious. Nothing else Dan. Stay focused.

"It is." I said and took a sip of my tea. It was not like the tea mamma made. This is a poor substitute I got used to.

"What?" He turned back at me. His lovely caramel eyes shrunk in worry.

"I need to take off for a month." This was as good as any other time to inform him.

"What? Why do you need a month?"

"Going home."

"Home? Where's home?"

I closed my eyes and allowed the sadness to take root. He didn't know anything about me. Nothing. Nada. I knew his fucking second cousin's daughter's wedding anniversary. It was my job, sure. Shouldn't he at least care enough to know where I was from?

"Do you know my full name?"

"Daniel Rr..." he trailed.

I threw the remaining tea in the sink and washed the mug. "You shouldn't stand here and chat with me like we're friends. What will others think? What if they figured out you know what?"

He straightened abruptly, adjusted his jacket and left.

Yeah, run. Asshole.

****

William Bassio

His name is Dananjay Reddy.

I felt like an utter asshole. I knew him for three years and never bothered to learn his full name. How to pronounce it anyway?

His family is in India.

I knew he was from a different race, his almond skin was a dead give away. But I didn't think beyond that. I scrolled through his profile further, which he completed  when he joined the firm.

He had joined as an intern. I didn't know that. So four years, not three. He was my senior then.

Hobbies: Reading, Singing.

Singing?

Sexual preference: Homosexual.

I stared at the line like it caught fire. How the fuck did he get the job? My dad was the definition of homophobia. Shit, the whole board was. Not a single one of them would have approved his hire. It was a trick question which should be always answered as heterosexual.

I went back to the top of the profile and saw the hiring manager.

Heather Rinn.

She was now the head of London operations.

Since he had applied for an intern position, she must have had the hiring authority back then. I got a new respect for her.

How many homosexual employees did I have now? I hoped there were many.

I scrolled down again to where I left.

Future Aspirations: Be as happy as I am today. Have three dogs, two kids, one husband. Oh and become the best business analyst in data mining.

My eyes prickled. What the fuck is he doing here? Buying me lunch and collecting my dry cleaning?

I switched to the payroll app and pulled up his salary slip. It hadn't changed in two years. He got a little more than his assistant Susan.

Why? He easily would get an entry level business analyst job with a better salary than what I was paying him.

I thought back to our midnight call.

I miss your smile. I miss the way you laugh without making a sound.

I'll never do anything to hurt you.

I just wanted to hug you and hold you. I wished you were mine to do that, or at least you had someone to do that.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I shut my laptop and leaned back on my seat.

This was the missing piece. We never discussed how much Dan cared about me. How deep it was.

It was too deep. He fucking loved me.

My intercom beeped.

I pressed the blinking button.

"You have the quarterly review meeting with RR team. Room 414." Dan said.

How did I miss to recognize this voice? It was the same oil on wood. I had been hearing it for three years on these same speakers! Shit.

"Cancel everything. I'm going home. No calls. DND."

I cut the connection and got up.

Dan came in without knocking. "You okay?"

I gave a curt nod. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."

I almost ran out to avoid further questions.

****

Dan loved me and I asked him to be my phone sex operator.

Perfect.

No wonder he got snappy. No wonder I lost his respect. No wonder he wanted one month leave.

Dan loves me.

Loves me.

Me.

The grumpy gun. The money making machine. Someone loves me. Loves me.

And I was not even willing to spend five minutes with him in my own fucking office pantry.

I pressed my face into the pillow and screamed until my throat became raw.

Why did he love me? I wouldn't be able to offer him anything. No three, two, one wishlist here. I wouldn't even come out of my closet.

He knows that.

And still he loves me.

Actually he knew everything about me. All bad things too. He was there when I threw a glass vase in anger. He cleaned it. He was there when I did a victory dance in my boxers after drinking a whole bottle of vodka. And vomited all over him.

And still he loves me.

My phone went off.

I pressed the bluetooth control on.

"Can you log in?" Dan asked.

"I said DND."

"I left you alone for three hours. Now your company needs your signature to release money for July rewards." He snapped.

"FINE." I shouted back.

"Good."

"Don't go. Wait."

I sat up and quickly authorized the funds from my phone.

"Done."

"Okay. What do you want?"

"Advice." I pulled the blankets up and closed my eyes. Almost like the last time.

He sighed. "About?"

"Why do you think I can come out?"

"Why do you think you can't?"

"You know everything. The board, my family."

"No, stop blaming them. You're the reason, Will. Set your priorities straight. What do you want? Answer honestly."

"I-"

"No, not to me. To yourself. Stop giving excuses. I have to go now. Bye."

What do I want?

**** End of Chapter Four ****