I remember being five in the classroom during recess and eating my lunch alone. I stared out the window looking at my giggling classmates as they went down the slides. I wished I could join them badly but they never paid me any attention.

All of a sudden my view was suddenly blocked by a tall boy with freckles who popped up in front of me and handed me a toy.

"Do you want to be my friend?" The boy said proudly grinning from ear to ear.

I reluctantly took it and stared at it. It was his favorite toy and he loved playing with it - he had said so during show and tell, so I felt bad collecting it, and Mommy and Daddy always told me to be careful of collecting things from strangers.

It wouldn't be nice to return it. I'll just show Mommy

"B-B-But I don't have anything to give you." I said bowing my head.

"That's ok, you really don't have to get me anything." He replied waving his hands.

I must get him something

"Do you promise we'll be friends?" I said nervously.

He brought out his pinky and crossed it with mine.
"I promise to be your friend forever and ever."

Then we were seven in art class making bracelets for our friends when our teacher introduced a new transfer student from a place called Nigeria.

Everyone was already paired up in groups, and the girl sat at the back alone and looking lost as she followed my art teacher to attempt making the bracelets.

I immediately dragged Liam over to the table she was on and introduced myself.

"H-H-Hi my name is Astro. It's nice to meet you." I said wondering where I got the courage from.

"And my name is Liam." Liam said happily.

"My name is Joy." The girl replied quietly.

Liam and I sat down and started making the bracelets and guiding her along. And for the next ten years through our journey of life we traveled the same road, that is, until the road parted.

***********

Memories flooded my head as I faintly glanced at each of our wrists, the bracelets that read 'JAL' still on our wrists. I then looked up at a nervous Liam who stood shuffling in my room while the adults talked downstairs over wine and cheese and Liam's siblings went out to play.

"I guess I have a lot to..."

Liam was immediately cut off by the harsh slap Joy gave him. I took a step back knowing that when Joy got angry you definitely didn't want to be near her. Liam winced but still stood straight to face us. I glanced at Joy to see her chest heaving, she seemed not to be in control of her emotions so she walked towards the door.

"Joy" Liam shouted walking towards her.

"I just need to get some ice cream." She said slamming the door behind her.

I calmly walked towards my desk and brought out my graphics tablet to start creating some art. Liam looked dejectedly at me but I just numbly turned to face him.

"So how's New York?" I asked.

His face instantly fell. "Dude" He cried desperately.

I hummed in response and continued to sketch a pose.

"Astro, please just listen." He repeated.

I turned and started laughing like a crazy person. "I'm listening."

"I've known you for twelve years. I know how you deal with grief."

My face turned to mock shock. "You've known me for twelve years!" I gasped before my face became indifferent again.

He came closer. "Do you think it's easy for me to deal with all this?"

"Deal with all this," I said standing up and going towards him. "What's so hard about not ghosting someone."

He ran his hand through his already messy hair. "Why are you so judgmental?"

"And why do you make promises you can't fucking keep," I said.

The anger I had tried so much to ignore had burst through the surface and my voice rose higher as I pointed fingers at him.

"Do you know how sad and dumb I feel thinking about the fact that the person I had once imagined doing everything with, ignore me like I meant absolutely nothing?"

I stared straight at him, an awkward silence taking over. All eyes stared at the door - Joy entered the room, visibly calmer. Liam stepped back and stood against the wall. In frustration I just sat back down on the chair.

I turned to face him, pushing my anger feeling down."Why are you here? To celebrate Christmas right?"

After he didn't respond I continued. "So all you have to do is celebrate and leave." I said throwing manners out the window.

"I came to see my best friends." He said glumly.

"You don't have the right to call us that after what you did." I said snarkily.

Joy who had sat her butt on a chair next to mine, finally spoke.

"If your parents didn't want to come here for Christmas would you still want to visit your 'friends'?" Joy asked

"I'm the one who wanted to visit." He replied facing Joy only.

I turned to look at him and saw his determined face. No one was leaving here until Liam had explained his side of the story.

"I won't say I was busy because that would be lying," Liam said.

"And I won't tell you I haven't made any new friends, because that would be lying too." He added.

"It's bitter but it's the truth. Our friendship wasn't going to stay the same. It would definitely change as each of us went down our different paths, but that doesn't mean I want to stop being your friend." He said rounding off his half-baked explanation.

"We aren't morons, of course, stuff like that would happen. The problem, is you ignoring us completely." Joy said.

Liam bowed his head and started to play with his thumbs. "I was afraid of losing you guys."

I chuckled and Joy slapped the back of my head.

"You were afraid of losing us and you ghosted?" I chuckled rubbing my head.

He sighed deeply. "Like I said, our friendship would change. I was too afraid to see it change or to see if it...."

"Would survive the change," Joy said completing his thoughts. "To be honest I was scared to see if our friendship wasn't really as strong as I thought." She said rounding up.

"Call it being a dumb teenager, but I was too afraid to take that gamble," Liam added laughing slightly.

He walked over to our chair and crouched in front of us.
"So I am really sorry to each of you. Even though it would never be enough, I hope you can still forgive me."

Joy turned to look at me and used her sleeves to vigorously rub my eyes. "Astro don't cry"

"I don't cry" I replied stubbornly.

"You need to stop dealing with your grief by pretending it isn't there." Liam said looking up at me.

Somehow that made me even sadder, knowing the person who knew me so much was taking a different road and I couldn't follow. I'd just have to cheer him from my lane and hope the memories are enough.

Joy suddenly pulled us all together for a hug. "You won't forget us right?" She said squeezing us tight.

"Or replace us?" I added through tears.

"How could I replace Joy's smile or Astro's laugh? How could I forget people who gave me so many memories." Liam said crying now.

As much as it hurt me to admit, things would never be the same. I would meet new people and maybe even make new friends but I would never forget the ones I left behind.

He held us close. "You guys will always have a special place in my heart." He then turned to look at me. "And this time I'll keep my promise."

"I know." Joy and I whispered simultaneously.

Growing up seriously sucks

**********
AN

Hi everyone!!!

If you guys like this chapter please don't forget to vote and comment.

Thanks