Alec Pov
The rest of the week went by slowly, my affection for John only growing.
But before I knew it, it was Friday.

First party.
First senior party.

"You're going to that big ass party tonight, right?" John asked, as we rode our bikes home.

"Yeah. I assume you are?" I asked.

"Totally. There's this one kid, Francis Kinloch, he said he's bringing fuckin weed." John told me.

"Right, right. I heard about that. Did you hear that this kid Sam was-"

"Going to bring tons of alcohol? Yeah! So many people were talking about that. And Thomas said he's gonna beat up any freshmen that show up." John exclaimed.

"Damn, sucks to be them." I said, pulling into my driveway.

"Bye Alec!"
"Bye!"

I put the bike away and walked into the house.

"Afternoon, Alec. How was your day?" Martha asked.

"It was pretty good. How about yourself?" I asked her, closing the door. "It was nice, thank you." She replied.

"Good to know ma'am." I said, sliding my bag off my shoulders.

"Please, call me Martha. Alec, I was wondering if we could talk for a moment?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure...About what? D-did I do something wrong? I'm sorry." I said quickly.

"No, Alec you haven't done anything wrong. Come here, and sit down." She said.

I walked into the living room and sat next to her, extremely tense.
I'm trying my best but sometimes it never is enough.

She touched my shoulder and I flinched violently. She gave me a look of concern and I muttered,
"I-I'm sorry."

She rested her hand on my shoulder and my mind was alert and wired to think she was going to hurt me.

"Alec, I was going to ask you if you wanted anything particular for your birthday?" She asked.

"You don't have to get me anything. Letting me live here for the time being is enough. You and George...Are too nice to me and I can never thank you enough for what you've done for me." I told her, forcing my shoulders to relax.

She smiled softly and rubbed my back. Oh my god I need to calm the fuck down.

"Are you alright? You're breathing quite heavily?"

Was I?
Well shit.

"N-no ma'am. Just I...I'm sorry I can't do this." I said, getting up.

"I don't think you understand that I'm still a little messed up in the head. I'm almost programmed to think that anyone who touches me is going to harm me.
I'm sorry for not being able to be the son you were looking for, and not being as good as Lafayette but
I-I...I'm sorry.
I know you want to help me and I want to think that, I try to think that but I'm still not there yet and I'm sorry." I told her.

She didn't say anything.
She's going to beat me isn't she?
She's upset with me for not being good enough.

"C-can I go? I'm sorry I just- I can't- I'm sorry." I choked.

"Honey, don't be sorry. I know you're trying and you're doing great. When George and I heard what you had been through, we were surprised you'd even talk to us. You may stutter and have a hard time devolving trust but it's understandable,"

She gave me a sincere look, "I just want you to know good things do happen. George and I do love you. It'll all be okay. It's okay if all you did today was survive. You being here, with us, recovering from everything, is enough. And I'm so proud of you." She told me.

My lip quivered ever so softly.

"If you ever want to
talk to me,
yell to me,
cry to me,
I will be here and I will try to understand, Alright honey?"

"I-I..." I choked, my eyes glassing up.

"You are being so strong and doing so well." Martha told me.

I opened my mouth and all that came out was a whimper.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she whispered, "Do you want a hug?"

I nodded almost vigorously.
She gently pulled me to sit down with her and gave me a hug.

My breathing was ragged as I tried not to break down in front of her.
Just keep it inside.

"You will change the world some day Alec. I can feel it." She whispered.

When she said that, I was
done.

I let out a sob and my breathing picked up. She hugged me tighter and I cried into her shoulder.

"W-why does everything hurt? All the time?" I said softly, trying to choke back my sobs.

"Shh..." She whispered.
"M-maybe I'm just too broken-" "

"You are not broken. You're just going through a messy patch. You'll find your way through. Listen to me when I say this, you are stronger than you think and smarter than you tell people.
You are special, you are something else. Be proud of being yourself." She said.

I wiped my nose and pulled away slowly. I held my head in my hands and leaned into my knees.

Martha rubbed my back.

What did I do to deserve this amazing family?

"You have really nice hair." She said, randomly.

I laughed through tears.
"W-what?" I asked her, giggling and peering at her through the cracks in my fingers.

"It's a really nice shade of red and it suits you." She said smiling.

"Thanks?"
"You're welcome."

"Hey could I go to Johns later?" I asked.

I'm still going to that damn party with him.
Emotional breakdown before it or not.

"Sure." She said.
I started to get up.

"One last thing Alec. You're going to be okay. This pain you feel, is going to pass. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but sometime soon.
The hurt will fade.
Don't give up before things get better. You may be wounded, but you aren't broken.
You can and will heal." She said.

That's when I knew for sure.
This is the family I want.
The family I need.