'All alone ha!!' her goofy voice landed on my ear, drawing my eyes from the book.
'Yes, want to join?'
'Sure.' She replied.

I wanted to pick up some books from library but my friends were busy in classes so no-one could accompany me. It felt awkward to sit in library all by myself for the past hour. But it finally paid off.
She wore a yellow t-shirt and denim shorts which gave a peek of her beautiful legs. Her mischievous hair, like always getting in the way of her beautiful face. My eyes started gliding over her beauty. I forgot that I had my own class in less than an hour and that I need to pay attention to the book. She caught me staring. I wanted to kill myself. I stirred my focus back on the book.

'What are you reading?' she said.
'Endocrinology.' I replied, focused at the words in front of me; pretending to read even though I wasn't able to process a single sentence.
'what's it about?'
'It's related to zoology.' I replied, avoiding eye contact.
'You are a zoology student?' She made an effort to start a chat.
'Yes.' I started answering in monosyllabic manner. I don't want to make an eye contact. I am afraid of getting those weird feelings back just like the last time.
'Ok.' She said in a tiny voice and started to read her book. That made me feel horrible.

I don't want any stupid feelings. The mind shouted.
In hindsight, I won't get any feelings just by talking. My heart said. I oblige.

'It's the study of endocrine glands in human body.' I said, my head finally out from the book.
'Oh, sounds interesting.' She said trying to sound enthusiastic.
'Oh, it's really not.' I said mocking her, she laughed.
'What about you?' I asked.
'I am political science.'
'What topic?'
'Indian Administration.'
'Fascinating.'
'Really? You think it's interesting?' she looked incredulous.
'Definitely! you see I don't have any clue about it, that means it's definitely a good subject. You are smart.'
'It's just about laws.'
'And how many of those are you planning to break.' I said derisively.
'None are left. That job is already done.' She smiled.
'Damn.' The feelings were back with that smile. Blood rushed my head. Heart started throbbing along with fast breathing.
How can someone have a smile like that?
Stop staring again... look away, deb.

'So, you didn't have any friends in here.' She asked. It took me half a second to shook those thoughts away and react.

'They didn't have a free lecture. All of them were busy.' I said.
'Aren't they in your subject?'
'No. They are in chemistry. What about you?'
'I just came in to borrow this book. Then I saw you sitting all alone, so came in to say hi. You see, I can't concentrate in library and I don't even let others concentrate on their work.' She chuckled at her own comment.

'Even I was about to borrow this book. Just thought to check it out first.' I lied.
'Coincidence.' She stood up. 'The counter is empty; I better borrow this.'
'Yeah, me too.' I said and stood up as well.

We walked towards the counter. There was no cue. She went up to the librarian. I was standing behind her.
Librarian was in his mid-50's. He seemed cold, curt and unfriendly. Not a guy you want to be friends with nor emulate with.
He asked for the library card and did his stuff. He pushed the book towards her when the work was done.

'Don't tear it.' He said in a grumpy voice.
'I won't' she said with a smile.

As I went up next, Lilly was standing at a distance waiting for me. My endocrine glands grinned by that sight.

'Submit it on time.' The librarian said with murderous intention.
He had a face better suited for 'crime petrol villain' than a librarian.

'Damn.' Lilly blurted out, grasping in her hand, the empty water bottle.
'You can get water at the nearby cafeteria.' I tried to sound nonchalant.
'I guess.' She replied.
'So, it's an unofficial date.'

•

Usually swarm of students buzz inside the cafeteria. This time strangely, it was empty. Only 2 to 3 tables occupied. The waiter said they didn't have any water so Lilly ordered a cold coffee. I ordered a small slice of pie from the menu. It was among the few good things, the cafeteria had to offer. I also placed an order of lemonade.

'You said, they had water.' Lilly said as the waiter left.
'Yeah, usually they do, but I guess someone told them you were coming.' I said. She grinned.

Our eyes locked, leaving my mind blank. She didn't look away neither did I. I remained quiet so did she. Sometimes, silence speak louder than words. We both knew, there was something special between us in that moment. before we could find out what it was, the waiter arrived with our order. It distracted us.

What is wrong with my life? The one time I needed it to go slow at that very instance the service of cafeteria became fast. Who brings food that quickly?

'What are you thinking?' she asked me.

No tip for this idiot.

'Nothing' I said.
She took a sip of her Cold coffee. 'Hmm, coffee's good.'
'You're funny.' I smirked.
'Why?' she looked confused.
'You call that a coffee? You should try out the coffee at 'Samarth Restaurant.' It's the best.' I said.
'Really? I have to try it than. What if I need a cake after I order a coffee?'
'There's a little bakery down the college road on the sharp left.'
'Looks like you have hunted down all the food places.' She said taking a sip of her coffee.
'Food comes first for me. I have literally tried all the food; Goan restaurants has to offer.' I bragged.
'You really seem to have an appetite for good food.'
'I do. Proud of it haha. I wish to travel around the world finding the best of the best dishes.' I took a bite of my pie. She laughed.

'I am serious. If work was no longer an option and I had enough money, I will start my quest. Won't you?' I asked.
'Not sure about it. Don't want to get fat.' She said.
I smiled. 'Anyway, what are you passionate about?'
'Nothing much.' She tried to suppress her excited voice.
'Come on. Don't be modest. You might have something.' I insisted.

'Music actually. I want to create a tune. A song that people can never forget.' She said. I saw her eyes; they lit up as she spoke.
'You are a singer?'
'Not particularly. I like to sing but mostly I love playing guitar.'
'That's so cool. Who's your favorite guitar player.'
'Joan Jett.' She said. I didn't have any idea who that is. I never heard that name before. She saw my befuddled face. She burst out laughing.

'She was the front woman of her band 'Joan Jett and Blackhearts.' She said and took a sip of her coffeeand continued 'The song 'cherry bomb'. You might remember the song 'I love Rock n' Roll.'
'Oh yeah! I remember now. She sang it? Wow' I tried to show enthusiasm, although I had zero clue about that song.

She continued to admire her singer for a few more minutes. I listened intently.
'You see, that's why I joined a band.'
'You are in a band? that's cool. Are you in the lead?'
'Not quite yet. You know what, you should come. My event is on coming Tuesday.'
'Sure.' I said, my spoon digging the pie. 'Are there Tickets? Or just an open public event.'

'Open event. Why? Need plus one ticket for someone special.' She said casually.
'No. Just asking. I don't have a girlfriend.' I said.
'Hmm' She continued to drink her coffee.
'What about you?' I blurted out.
'No' she said reaching halfway through her coffee.

That 'no' sounded good. I don't know why? It's not like something is going to happen between her and me?

'Hasn't got my Bollywood story yet.' She laughed.
'Hmm.' I nodded slightly. She sensed my hesitation in that moment.
'You don't like it?'
'Doesn't make much sense to me.'
'What? Why?' she was genuinely confused.

'I don't know, just not a big fan, I guess.' I tried to hide my emotions. 'I just don't think; it resembles real life.' i added as an afterthought.

She smiled. 'I wasn't talking about that, Deb. I was talking about the end, you know, the big ending at the airport or train. The dramatic, romantic exit.' She continued.
'Sure. I guess, it's just movies. Doesn't happen in real life.' I said.
'Maybe some of the ending are derived from real life too.'
'Hard to believe that.' I said reaching for the lemonade.
'Seems like you have never been in love.' she joked.
My hand froze in mid-air. A little lemonade spilled outside.

Suddenly, without warning, I was filled with a deep sense of longing. A sense of loss. A sense of despondency and helplessness. Images started flashing Infront of my eyes. Long, waist-length wavy hair, beautiful black eyes with a pinch of shyness. Smile that said a thousand thing. Touch that said a million things. It is funny how my mind triggers the indelible memories of Ayesha in no time. The first and last love of my life. The woman who made me despise words like 'love'. The woman who made me believe that 'Long distance relationship' is bullshit, something that never works.

Lilly's phone buzzed, acting as a wake-up call for me from the daydream of Ayesha. It looked like the free lecture was over for her. She stood up to leave.

'I think we should talk about this even further.' She said
'Talk about what?' I didn't want to discuss my ex with her. I don't want to discuss something that ended 3 years ago.

'I mean the movies. We should talk about that. I think I can change your mind....a little.' she said.

Was that a cue? Should I ask her for her phone number? Should I ask her out sometime.

'You can do that after your concert.' I said finishing up my lemonade.

'Nice idea. I'll text you the place.'
'Yeah sure.' I hurled the phone at her. Entering her number, she left, leaving my heart beating faster than usual.