A/N: everyone go check out my new story "Ghost" please, and tell me what you think about it when you do! #shameless #self #promo

CALUM

Luke has acted a lot more different ever since the engagement, and I can't tell whether it's for better or for worse.

For one, he's always kissing my cheek or holding my hand or wrapping his arms around me whenever possible, which is definitely different. He used to kiss me and all that, but whenever he touched me it was more so that I wouldn't stand up and leave. Not just for the fun of it.

But he's also become a whole lot more controlling, in a way. He wants everything a specific way, and he expects me to do everything the way he wants it. He's become less strict about Ashton, which I find weird, but I don't dwell on it. I suppose he isn't too worried about me spending too much time with him, considering we are going to be married. I don't know, but Luke has gotten a bit harsher recently, and I'm not exactly sure how to handle it.

Today, Luke is having Andy over. When he told me, I hid my reluctance and went along with it so he'd be happy, but I absolutely despise it when Andy comes over. Andy is like Luke, but with no soft edges.

I sit in the den with Luke while we wait for Andy to arrive. I'm curled against Luke's side, Luke's hand in mine. He's squeezing my hand a bit too tight to be comfortable, but I don't say anything.

Luke watches the sports channel, and I zone out the minute he turns it on. I'm not much of a sports guy, I suppose.

The doorbell rings, and Luke slips away from me so that he can answer the door. I curl my feet under me as I watch him answer the door. Andy walks in with a big grin and greets his son grandly.

"Hey, son!" Andy exclaims. He walks towards me and nods. "Hello, Calum."

I blink at him. Luke furrows his eyebrows and pinches my side, and I jump.

"Hello, Andy," I say quickly. Andy nods, satisfied, and sits down. Luke sits beside me once again, but he keeps his hands in his pockets, not reaching for my hand.

"So, how's the engagement going?" Andy asks. Luke smiles.

"It's going great! We've started planning out the wedding preparations," Luke says. I bite my lip to resist correcting him for saying "we". He hasn't let me have a say in much, and when I do, he always shoots down my opinions. Luke has a vision for the wedding that I clearly don't get, so he told me he'd rather me stay out of it.

"Oh wonderful, wonderful," says Andy. He turns to me. "I'm thinking maybe a pure white suit for you. I can get it specially made."

"Yes, I think that would be nice," Luke says, turning and looking me over before nodding. I swallow the lump in my throat as they nod affirmatively and move on to the next topic.

I listen to them talk half-heartedly, focused on my white sock-covered feet. I wiggle my toes, watching the fabric shift. I close my eyes and listen to the steady beat of my heart to block out the Hemmings' voices.

"Also, we might want to think of getting you a bigger house," Andy says, and I lift my head in attention.

"But this house is already huge!" I say, gesturing to the grand den area. The house really is massive, especially for only two people.

"But what about when you have kids?" Andy asks, raising his eyebrows at me. My blood turns cold, and I stare at him unblinkingly.

"Kids," I repeat, a bit shook up.

Andy looks impatient. "Yes, Calum. Kids. You'll have kids fairly soon after the wedding, I'm sure you'll need a larger house."

Luke catches my eye and nods in agreement. I look at him almost in a trance, not knowing what to do or say. Kids with Luke... the thought hadn't occurred to me in so long. I can't imagine having children with him. It scares me to death, because I have no idea how he'll parent them. I don't know what kind of dad he'll be.

Luke doesn't seem to notice my hesitation, and he moves on to talking about bigger houses farther away from the city, and Andy mentions building one from scratch.

"Oh, and Calum, it would be best if you quit you job at the restaurant once you have kids. You'll need to stay home to take care of them," Andy says. My heart sinks.

"Quit my job?" I repeat.

"Of course," Luke agrees. "It's not like I can quit my engineering job. I'm only one promotion away from becoming manager, you know."

I sit back defeatedly, thinking about the restaurant. It's not that I'm that attached to the job, but... in all honesty, I look forward to working because I get to talk with Ashton. If I quit the job, I'd never see him again. Luke wouldn't ever let me leave the house to see him.

I cross my arms for the rest of the conversation, resigning to listen to the sports newscaster on television rather than Andy's voice.

Once Andy and Luke seem to have planned out the general idea of the wedding and the moving plans afterwards, Andy stands up to leave. Luke thanks him for coming over and walks him to the door. My eyes burn with exhaustion by the time he leaves, and my movements are sluggish from the need to sleep.

Luke returns after walking his father out, and he presses his lips to my forehead, his lip ring digging into my skin. He lifts my chin so that I have no choice but to look him in the eye.

"Tired?" Luke asks. I nod. In all honesty, the entire conversation Andy and Luke had completely wore me out. "Let's get you to bed, then."

Luke leads me up the stairs and watches me as I slip on pajamas and slide under the covers. He gives me a short but deep kiss before turning off the light and closing the door. I listen to his footsteps travel down the steps, probably going off to go work some more.

I roll over and dig my face into my pillow, shutting my eyes and willing myself to sleep. I stay like that for a few minutes, but sleep doesn't come.

My mind is too busy buzzing with all the plans Andy talked about, making my nerves go haywire. I wipe my eyes tiredly, trying to get my mind off things. I wish I could talk to someone about all of this, but the only person who would listen is Luke, and he is definitely not the person I could talk to about this.

I look over at my phone sitting on the nightstand. I know I shouldn't, and I know I'll probably regret this very very soon, but I grab it anyway and dial the numbers.

It rings a few times before it clicks. "Hello?" Ashton's warm voice fills my air.

Now that he's answered, I'm not sure what to say. I didn't actually think I'd get this far. "Hey, Ashton."

"Calum!" Ashton sounds pleased to hear me, despite it being almost eleven o'clock at night. "How are you?"

I fumble with my words. "I'm--" I stop. "Sorry for calling. I shouldn't have--"

"Hey, shh," Ashton interrupts. I cease my rambling. Ashton is silent for a few moments before he speaks again. "Wanna go for a drive?"

"What?"

"Would you like to go for a little drive? And talk and shit. I can pick you up," Ashton says. My mouth parts a little. I certainly wasn't expecting this.

"Luke doesn't like me being friends with you," I say, although it doesn't have much to do with the conversation.

"Sucks for him," says Ashton. I can practically see the mischievous glint in his eye.

"He thinks I'm sleeping," I tell him. Ashton is quiet for a minute.

"Do you have a window in your room?"

I look over at the large glass windows, framed by linen curtains. "Yes."

"Climb through it and meet me out front. I'll turn my headlights off just in case," says Ashton. I can hear the small smile in his voice. "Only if you want to, of course."

And despite how much Luke would hate me if he found out, and how much I know he would be angry for it, I really, really want to. "I'll be outside in five minutes," I say, and hang up.

I slowly and quietly get out of bed, throwing on my black Vans and tossing on a sweatshirt. I leave my sweatpants be, figuring Ashton won't judge me too hard considering it's late at night.

I grab my phone and fix my hair in the mirror before heading over the window, my heart beating so loud I'm sure Luke can hear it from downstairs. I unlock the window, pulling the frame up, sending a gust of cold air inside. I slide through the open window, thankful it's only a small drop to the ground, softened by bushes at the bottom. I close the window behind me, hanging onto the wooden panels, and then I let go, falling feet first into the bundle of soft bushes and monkey grass underneath. I land on my feet, stumbling a little but managing just fine.

The night air hits my face and I stick to the shadows as I round the house, heading up front. I see Ashton's car out front, covered by trees and bushes. He's turned all the lights off, and anyone looking out would assume it's empty, but I can just make out a curly haired silhouette inside.

I rush out onto the lawn, praying Luke isn't looking out at that moment. I hurry into Ashton's passenger seat, exhaling deeply once I'm inside.

Ashton turns and looks at me, looking wide awake as he flashes a dimpled smile. He's dressed in a plain fitted white t-shirt, stretched across his broad chest. He wears a pair of black jogging shorts, his curly hair unruly, like he hasn't brushed it.

Ashton doesn't say anything, starting the car. He winces at the loud engine and he quickly drives out of view from the house, waiting until he's a few houses away before turning on the headlights.

Ashton stays silent as he drives down the highway, the soft whirring of the car's wheels filling the air. I can see a smile on his far though, so I relax into the fabric covered seats. The highway is nearly empty, only a few other cars traveling near us. The night is still, sending a bit of relief through my body.

Ashton keeps driving until he finally pulls off at a gravel road exit, and his old truck bumps along until he pulls into an empty clearing in the trees. His truck rolls across the grass until it comes to a stop in the clearing.

Ashton glances at me. "People come here for the view," he says, and he points straight ahead, where a few gravel trails lead. "If you go straight, you come across this big fenced off area where you can look out over the city."

"Is that where we're going?" I ask. Ashton shakes his head, smiling a little wider.

"Come here," he says, and he hops out of the car. I scramble after him, getting out and following him to the back of his truck. He pops the door and lays it flat, allowing him to hoist himself into the back of the pick-up. He pays the spot next to him as he rests against the metal. I cautiously pull myself over with a bit of difficulty, and I crawl over beside Ashton.

"People come for the view of the city. But they completely miss the view of the sky at night," Ashton says, leaning back and pointing straight up. I look up, and I can see that Ashton is right. Stars litter the sky beautifully, constellations and galaxies sparkling in the night. My lips part in awe at the beauty.

"This is... amazing," I say softly. Ashton looks up with me, his curly hair falling over his eyes.

"Yeah," Ashton says. Then he shifts and looks at me with a smile. "So what's going on?"

He says it light-heartedly, but I'm quite positive he meant it in the why-did-you-call-me-at-11-pm kind of way. I look down from the sky, focusing on my shoes instead of him.

"It's nothing, really," I begin. "I'm just being annoying."

"You're anything but that," Ashton says, and continues to look at me expectantly. He has the kindest, most understanding look on his face, and it makes it hard not to keep quiet.

I sigh, giving in. "Andy came over and they talked about, like, the future."

"Like flying cars and jet mobiles?" Ashton says enthusiastically. I laugh and elbow him gently in his side.

"No, like 'Calum should quit his job so he can have kids' kind of thing," I say, my voice quieting. Ashton's smile falters, and he crosses his arms.

"Quit your job," he repeats, sounding unhappy. He sits there for a moment before saying, "Kids. That's why?"

"They said when I have kids I'd have to quit so I could take care of them while Luke works."

"Do you want kids?" Ashton asks curiously.

I close my eyes. "I do, just not with--" I stop myself before I say "just not with Luke". I don't think that would sit well with anyone. "I just like my job at the restaurant."

"Well, it's not their decision to make," says Ashton. He blinks at me sadly. "You need to tell them what you want."

I think of the many times I've stood up to Luke, only to get a fist smashed against my jaw. "I don't think that will work," I say quietly.

We fall into silence, and I mess with my fingers as Ashton looks up at the stars. Ashton seems at a loss for words and I simply don't feel much like talking anymore. I yawn softly, leaning back against the car and letting my eyes close.

"We should probably get you home," Ashton says, and I open my eyes to find him looking at me with a gentle smile on his face. I grumble unhappily, making my way off the back of the truck. Ashton follows after me, climbing into the driver's seat and starting the car once again.

We drive silently down the road, it being well past midnight by now. The roads are empty, Ashton's old car the only vehicle traveling at this hour. He doesn't talk until he stops at the edge of my house, turning the headlights off so that it's pitch black. I open the car doors and start to leave before Ashton's hand catches my wrist.

"Calum," Ashton says, and I turn to look at him. His expression is kind but urgent, and he says, "If you ever need anything, anything at all, I'm here for you. Okay?"

His fingers are warm against my skin, and his words melt like chocolate in my mind. "Alright," I say and close the car door. I make my way back to the house, smiling down at my feet. His kind voice leaves a warm feeling in my chest, staying there and growing like a burning flame in the center of my heart.

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A/N: listening to anklebiters by paramore :') tbt

also thanks so much for voting for this story in the boyxboy awards if you did! it means a lot!

anyway though I hope you have had a great day :). have you started school yet?

thanks for reading, ur the best! hope you enjoyed. please vote and comment your thoughts.

love you to the moon.

-grace