*Aslesha*

"Lekin pehle kuch kha le? Bahot zor ki bhook lagi hai mujhe" I say as my stomach does gud-gud.

He glares at me. "Pehle bataao" he demands.

"Dukhne lag gaya pet aaahh" I say clutching my stomach and making a pained expression.

Viraj's expression turns deadly. If I was not a girl, I'm sure he would have broken my nose by now.

"Khaaye? Please?" I ask batting my eyelashes and he sighs and nods. I smile weakly and start walking downstairs to the kitchen.

"Kuch aisa banaao jo paanch minute me bann jaaye. And don't try to be over smart. Paanch minute se jyada lage na toh mai sahi me khane nahi dunga" he says and I sigh.

Kitna bhi stall kar lu baat ko, batana toh padega ab. He'll think that I'm such an idiot. He'll be angry, that I know. Other than that, what will be his reaction, I have no clue.

I start making bread omelette and with each passing second, the pit in my stomach starts growing. It starts getting hard to even swallow the food.

I keep away my plate after two bites and Viraj suddenly gets up and slaps the counter in front of me.

"Khaao ye! Pura khatam karo!"

"Mere pet me sab ghum raha hai. Ulti jaisa ho raha hai. Mujhe nahi khana" I whine.

"Chup chap kha lo or else I'll stuff it in your mouth" he warns me.

"Mujhe nahi-"

"Aslesha you're just making me more and more mad. Look at your bloody weight. Tumne itna weight lose kiya hai ye paanch saalo me, Jesus Christ! Not that pehle tum jyada healthy thi. I've noticed so many times, how you skip lunch or other meals and it drives me insane that I can't force you to eat because mera utna haq nahi. Ab haq gaya tel lene. Tum ye khaao pura. Khatam karo isse" he says, or should I say roars, in anger.

"Okay fine. Don't get your panties in a twist" I say and he glares at me again. "Okay sorry! Kha rahi hu" I say and somehow finish the contents of my plate.

"Ab bataao" he says.

I stay silent as the realisation hits me again in full force. This. Is. It.

I walk to the back of the house which overlooks the sea and sit on the mattress that is on the floor. Viraj follows suit.

"Yaad hai jab mai Bangalore gayi thi dance competition ke liye?" I ask him. He frowns like he doesn't remember. "Tum bhi tab Mumbai me the. We used to talk on the phone those days" I remind him. "Ha ha. I remember now" he says.

"Tab ke kuch dino se mera sarr dukh raha tha. Chakkar jaise aati thi. I ignored it ke aise hi kuch hoga. Chashma vagera laga hoga. But Bangalore me jyada hi dukhne laga sarr and during the flight home, it was unbearable. Papa had come to pick me up. I was so happy to see him. Vo bhi bahot khush the mujhe dekh ke but his smile completely disappeared when he saw that there was blood coming out of my nose. Vo seedha mujhe hospital le gaye waha se where we met Dr. Chawla. She told us to do some tests jiske do din baad results milte. I remember you being worried, phone kar ke chillaye the tum mujhe that I didn't call you when I reached. Mai tumhe waha Mumbai me tension nahi dena chahti thi so I didn't tell you" I say and he nods looking into a distance like remembering those days.

I bring my knees close to my chest and continue, "We then got the reports and Dr. Chawla said that I had brain tumor. It was not the cancerous type and could be removed completely by surgery. That didn't make me relieved or anything. I remember tab mai hospital ke parking lot me itna royi ke kyu mere saath aisa hua. I was so scared. More than me mai papa ke liye royi. Pehle brain tumor unke wife ko le gaya aur fir beti ko lene aa gaya. It was not the fatal kind of brain tumor but it all depended on the surgery and I didn't know whether I was going to survive" I say and then realise that the tears have started flowing freely down my cheeks.

Viraj comes closer to me so that our knees are touching and wipes away my tears.

"Aur fir?" He asks not removing his hand from my cheek and brushing it back and forth on my skin.

"Then you went away and the surgery was successful. That's it" I say looking away and his hand suddenly stops it's movements. He drops his hand as I get chills through my body.

I want to tell him so badly. I want to tell him that I'm not a cheater and I have always loved him, even before he asked me to become his girlfriend. I want to tell him that I still do. Himmat nahi ho rahi par. Aage kya hoga uska darr lag raha hai bahot. Kya reaction hoga Viraj ka.

"That's not it Aslesha. Wait a mi- oh my god!" He suddenly stands up and runs his hands through his hair. "When was the surgery?"

"On the day of your first match" I answer meekly.

"Oh lord! Matlab vo jab.. aur fir.. holy fuck!" He says and again runs his hand through his hair.

I look at him through my lashes. "Kya hua?" I ask consciously.

"I remember jab mai Mumbai se wapas aaya tha. You asked me how important cricket was for me. Aur jaana jaruri tha kya. Shit I remember it all".

Nahi na. Yahi problem hai cricket ki. Cricket in India is a religion. Kitne log ki dream hoti hai ye. And I'm getting this once in a lifetime chance. Ye chance gaya toh cricket ka career gaya. Kam log nahi hai jo ruke pade hai meri jagah lene ke liye. Bass abhi nahi toh kabhi nahi.

"Shit shit shit. So you didn't tell me because you knew ke agar mujhe pata chalta I would give up my chance of playing the world cup. Hai na?" He asks me and I look away.

"I didn't want to ruin your one and only dream. Your one and only chance at achieving it" I whisper.

"And then what about Neel? Wa-was that a lie?" He stutters.

I don't know if he's ready for the answer. He'll hate me if I say yes. He'll hate me if I say no. I see that his hands have started shaking.

"Viraj" I say softly and hold his hands in mine. They seem big in my little ones and I try to calm him down.

"I'm sorry. I really wanted you to avoid me. Mera operation hone wala tha agle week. Ussi din tumhari pehli match thi. I just wanted you to stay away from me. Agar tumhe zara bhi hint milti ke mai bimaar hu toh tum nahi jaate. I know ke tum nahi jaate. Isliye maine humare friends ko bhi nahi bataya. Except Neel. I asked Neel to help me. He was not ready at all. He kept telling me ke mujhe tumhe bata dena chahiye aur vo ye sab nahi kar sakta kyu ke tum uske chhote bhai jaise ho. But I kept forcing him. So I planned and forced Neel to make up an act that I'm cheating on you" I say as tears start flowing from my eyes again.

Viraj's expression goes blank. There is not a hint of anything. There's nothing.

"But I thought jab tum aaoge world cup khel kar, I'll tell you. But tum nahi aaye Viraj. Tum nahi aaye" I sob and push him away as he stumbles back.

"Mujhe kisi ne bataya bhi nahi ke tum chale gaye. Aur mai hopes lagaye baithi thi. Mere discharge hone ke baad sab friends ko pata chala about my condition. And then they told me ke tum kisi ko bhi bina bataye chale gaye. Kaha gaye? Kisi ko bhi nahi pata" I cry.

"Mai roz har ghante tumhe call karti thi. Har ghante. Ke kabhi toh call lag jaaye. Lekin vo number hamesha band aata tha. Maine tumhare har dost se pucha. Tumhare ados pados ke ghar se ghar bhatakti rahi ke kisi ko kuch pata ho. Tumhare ghar me jo naye log rehne aaye unse request ki ke please kuch bataao. Lekin unhe bhi kuch nahi pata tha. Tum under 19 world cup jeet gaye and when I saw you holding that cup, I cried my heart out. Because tum bahot aage ja chuke the. Because tum dur ja chuke the. You were completely out of my reach. Din ke dus call se mai din ke ek call pe aa gayi. Tumhare dating news aane lage TV pe, newspaper me. Kabhi kisi model ke saath toh kabhi actress ke saath. And you looked so so happy. You were living your life fully. And slowly I started giving up. I didn't want to but I had to. Papa ne mujhe bahot samjhaya aur sab friends ne bhi. They helped me get out of that depressed phase. But I wanted to at least clear it out with you once before I die that I never cheated on you Viraj. I never cheated on you. Tum aaye tab I decided to tell you but you were engaged. You are engaged. But I was so stupid that I thought ek din sab thik ho jaayega. Ek din tum aaoge aur mujhe itne zor se hug karoge ke mere saare broken pieces wapas judd jaayenge. Lekin tum bina soche samjhe bass mujhe chhod ke chale gaye. Wapas jaaoge shaadi ke baad. And you just hate me. You say it to me all the time. And it hurts me so much and I-I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't know how you feel about me anymore" I sob loudly covering my face.

Finally. Finally it's all out. I hope he doesn't think that I'm a cheater now. I wipe my tears and look at him.

His hand is on the fencing and he is pressing on it so strongly that blood is dripping out of it. And he isn't even realising it.

"Viraj!" I shout and remove his hand. He looks at me in shock like he didn't know I'm here. "Tumhara haath.. tum kya kar.. andar chalo" I say and pull him inside.

He follows me in a daze and I make him sit on the couch. I go to the washroom and bring the first aid box. He's still sitting in the exact position I left him. His eyes still looking into a distance.

I take his hand as tears fill my eyes again. Why do I want to cry so much? I blink my tears away and wipe off the blood with cotton. It's not deep. Thank God. I cover his hand with the white bandage cotton role and tie it properly.

I get up from the couch and as I'm about to step forward, Viraj grabs my wrist. My eyes fill with tears again and I slowly look back.

His head is down and I can't see his face. I touch his hair lightly so that he looks up at me. His eyes are red and as soon as they meet mine, tears start flowing down his cheeks.

"Viraj" I pull him towards my chest as his whole body starts shaking with his sobs. He puts his hands around my waist and holds me tightly.

"I'm sorry" he says between his sobs. "I'm sorry Aslesha".

I gulp back the emotions rising inside me and run my hand through his hair continuously. "Shh.. it's fine".

He just keeps crying and I can't help it but cry with him. All the hidden emotions and feelings that I hid since five years come back on surface.

"Look at me" I say and try to lift his face but he doesn't let me. Instead he holds me tighter.

"Mujhe nahi pata tha Aslesha. Mai bahot bahot stupid hu" he says.

"Vo toh tum ho" I say smiling. I want to look at him. I again lift his face and this time he lets me. His blue eyes are the bluest I've ever seen and.. swollen. His long lashes damp with tears. And he still manages to take my breath away.

"Agar tumhe kuch ho jaata toh mai kabhi khud ko maaf nahi kar paata" he says.

I grab his face in both of my hands. "Par kuch nahi hua hai. I'm completely fine now" I say. "I wish you came back" I say as my voice breaks at the last word.

He pulls me on the couch beside him and takes both my hands in his. "I swear I didn't want to go. But tum hi imagine karo, the only girl that I ever loved cheats on me with my best friend, aur kya karta mai? Mai pehle se hi insecure tha humare relationship me. I always felt worthless. I felt that I didn't deserve you. And that day seeing you with Neel, it hit me so hard. You made me believe in love. For me love and you were the same thing. Aslesha matlab pyaar. And I just felt like I don't belong here. Mujhe vo sab sach laga. And I didn't want to see you with Neel, or any other guy for that matter. So I decided to go away. Forever. Mai kabhi nahi jaata Aashi agar mujhe pata hota. I loved you dammit! I wouldn't go if I knew. I swear I wouldn't even play the world cup" he says and I know he's telling the truth. His eyes are so sincere.

I try not to focus on those words that are said in the past tense. Loved you. Loved you.

"I know tum nahi jaate. Isliye I didn't want to tell you. But mujhe agar pata hota ke tum wapas aane hi nahi wale toh mai aisa nahi karti" I say.

"God Aslesha I'm so sorry" he says as a tear escapes his eye. I wipe it with my thumb and rest my hand on his cheek.

"I'm sorry too. You were my boyfriend. You deserved to know. I didn't know what else to do" I say and he pulls me closer.

"I wish you'd tell me" he says. "Five years pure waste ho gaye. Five years I could've spent loving you" he says and my heart skips a beat.

Five years I could've spent loving you.

I want to spend a lifetime loving you. But do you still love me?

I rest my head on his shoulder as he runs his hand up and down my arm making goosebumps rise on my skin. It's calming and electrifying at the same time.

"What about Megha and you?" I ask as bile rises in my throat.

"Okay don't freak out but she's not my girlfriend" he says and I lift my head and gape at him.

"Mujhe nahi pata mujhe kya ho gaya tha. Mujhe tumhe dikhana tha jab mai yaha aaya ke mai tumhare bina bhi khush hu aur mai kisi aur se bhi sachha pyaar kar sakta hu. Ye ring actually mai ring finger me pehenta bhi nahi" he says removing his ring and putting it on his index finger.

"Ye toh aisi hi ring hai jo mere Nana ne di thi mujhe kuch time pehle. Aur Megha ka boyfriend Mayur hai. Vo dono live-in relationship me hai aur mere saamne wale apartment me rehte hai" he says and bites his lip and leans backwards like he knows what's coming next.

He knows right. Because the next thing I do is directly slap him. Not the halka fulka masti wala slap. Sataakk kar ke aawaz aata hai vo wala slap.

"Oww woman!" He groans and I see my fingerprints on his cheek. I feel oddly satisfied.

"You can't just hit me like that. I'm the vice captain of the Indian cricket team".

I slap him again. This feels good.

"Arre!" He says and holds both my hands tightly and pins them behind my back. "Bahot haath uth raha hai tumhara ha! Jhaapad toh tum bhi deserve karti ho because you lied to me" he says.

"Achha toh maaro. Himmat hai toh maar ke bataao" I say raising up my chin. I know he won't. Perks of being a woman.

But Viraj has something else in his mind. With both my hands pinned back and his hands around me, he lifts me up slightly and then slaps my... Ass.

Yes. That's Viraj.

My face turns into a nice ripe tomato and I look away and struggle out of his hold. I can sense his big, wide smirk even though I'm not looking at him.

He leans ahead and whispers in my ear, "Dekh li himmat ya aur dikhaau?". A delicious shiver runs down my spine.

He slowly leaves my hands and I shuffle away and straighten my dress.

"Do you hate me Aslesha?" He asks standing up. He comes and stands right in front of me and I look up into his eyes.

He's so tall. And handsome. And perfect.

"No I don't. Do you?" I ask cautiously. He shakes his head.

I suddenly feel extremely shy and I start picking up the contents of the first aid box that are somehow scattered on the floor.

This is a new beginning. Since five years I was just walking through a dark tunnel without seeing any end. That was my life. Just walking in the darkness with no purpose to reach anywhere. But now I'm seeing light at the end of it. It's far but it's there.

"I actually do the opposite" he says suddenly and I frown.

"Kya?"

"Kuch nahi" he says quickly and I don't know whether it's my imagination but I see the tips of his ears turn pink. Is he blushing?

"I- I'm going to take a shower" he says. "Wear something comfortable. We're going somewhere" he says and walks away.

Oh god! I don't want anymore surprises!

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Ahh I love this chapter. It gave me all the VirEsha feels. Did you guys like it too?? Less than 10 chapters remaining now. Don't forget to vote and comment. Ily :)