*Aslesha*

I close my eyes shut, praying that ye jo maine aawaz pehchaani hai vo Viraj ki na ho.

And deep deep deep inside I pray ke ye aawaz ussi ki ho.

I lift my face to look at him and he freezes.

Viraj.

Standing in front of me in all his glory is, none other than, Viraj Singhania. Not Singhania now. Sachdev.

His blue eyes go wide and I'm sure that my eyes are almost going to pop out of the sockets and that my jaw has hit the floor.

It's really him. He's back. Here out of all places.

I stand up somehow, praying that my feet don't give up on me again.

Legs, apna kaam karo! Make me stand properly.

Suddenly the pepper spray bottle falls out of my bag and I quickly pick it up.

"Shit!" I mutter.

After five damn years, I look like a psycho in front of him whereas him.. oh good lord in heaven.

He was handsome and cute and perfect before but this is pehle ka double. Double the handsomeness, double the gorgeousness, double the fitness and triple the hotness.

So strong jaws are my weak point still, but now his squared jaw has a slight scruff on it which is like cherry on top. It makes him look more rugged and manly and sexy.

I hope I'm not literally drooling.

His clear blue eyes look surprised and shocked but suddenly they turn a shade darker and his face turns emotionless.

"Tum yaha kya kar rahi ho?" he asks sharply like it's my fault. He freaking called me here.

My vocal chords stop working.

Bol Aslesha. Don't make a fool of yourself. Girr gayi pehle vo kam tha jo ab tu gungi bhi ho gayi uske saamne.

Ok dear body of mine, please co-operate.

"Vo mai.. Mai vo.." I stutter and he rolls his eyes in frustration.

Fucking hell!

"Sir ye.. Naam kya bataya tumne apna?" suddenly that lady from before comes in the room and I jump in surprise.

Did I mention his muscles? He looks like he just had a shower because his hair is still damp and the buttons of his shirt are unbuttoned on the top. He's become muscular. The shirt he's wearing is nicely fit on his skin, a little too nicely, showing off his lean yet muscular built.

Please shirt utaaro.

Fuck this shit! Shut up hormones. Shut up mind. Shut up everything.

"Aslesha Mathur" I say looking down. If I keep looking at him, I'll keep having such unholy thoughts.

"Ha Aslesha. Vo jo aapne chef ke liye bola tha na... Vo" that lady says and I'm thankful that she explained it to him.

Warna isse lagta ke mai khud aa gayi hu.

Wait a minute.. So this means he liked my food. He liked my food! Oh my god why does this make me so happy?

"We don't need a chef. You can leave" he suddenly says and it's like he has slapped me on my face. He turns away when I look at him and opens his cupboard.

He doesn't even want to look at my face.

Mujhe usse kisi tarah sach batana hi hoga. I still love him a lot. Yahi mauka hai.

"Um but mai itne dur se aayi hu.. aur Robertson sir ne.." I start speaking but he turns and looks at me like he wants to kill me. That makes my mouth go shut.

"I. Don't. Need. You" he says emphasising each word and with each word my heart breaks more and more. He doesn't need me as a chef and neither as a person. What else did I expect?

"Leave. Now". he says so sharply that I almost pee in my pants.

Why did I think this was gonna be easy. he'd rather stab his ears than listen to me.

"Sir. Maaf kijiye par abhi last ferry nikal chuki hogi" the lady says and I close my eyes in disappointment. Great so I have to sleep somewhere in this village now. Or jungle. Today night I'm gonna die.

"Mai kisi hotel me reh lungi" I say even though I know there are no hotels here.

"Yaha koi hotel nahi hai beta".

"I'll manage" I say and leave the room.

I can't handle him looking at me with so much hate. It looks like he wants to drag me out of his house and never see me again. And I'm so bloody intimidated by him. Aawaz tak nahi nikal rahi meri uske saamne.

I rush out the door when suddenly his voice makes me stop in my tracks.

"Oye sunno! Aaj raat ke liye ruk jaao".

I bite my lip and turn back but he's already walked away and there's just that lady standing. I hear a door slam and sigh. He's so mad right now.

Should I stay?

Before I can think much, that lady takes my hand and ushers me inside as I follow her in a daze.

What the hell did just happen?

"Tum dono ek dusre ko pehle se jaante ho ja?" She says suddenly and I frown.

"Aapko kaise pata chala?" I ask.

"Ye baal dhoop se safed nahi hue hai. Waise mera naam Usha hai. Tum mujhe tai bulaa sakti ho" Usha tai says.

"Thank you very much tai" I say and try to pull my lips up in a smile.

"Sir ko, mujhe lagta hai, bhook lagi hai. Isliye itna gusse me hai. Tum chef ho na? Kuch achha sa banaa ke khilaa do. Fir dekho unka gussa shaant ho jaayega" she says.

"Thik hai. Kya banaau?" I ask.

"Tum unhe jaanti ho na pehle se. Unhe jo pasand hai vo banaa do" she says.

Kuch bhi banaa do. As long as you're making it, kuch bhi chalega.

I suddenly remember his words and feel like crying my heart out on that memory but control myself.

I will tell him the truth...

I open the fridge and looking at the items, decide to make stuffed shimla mirch with pulav.

Within an hour everything is ready and I serve two plates. One I give to tai and look at the other plate.

"Aap ye deke aaoge?" I ask.

"Ye itna achha khaana maine saalo baad khaya hai. Tum toh bahot achha khana banaa leti ho. Please tum hi de do na beta" she says with her mouthful and I nod.

I take the plate and knock on his door. Once, twice, thrice. He doesn't open, so I keep knocking. No response at all. A few minutes pass and I stand there just looking at his bedroom door.

Usha tai said that he hasn't had a proper meal the whole day. Mere haath ka khaane se jyada vo bhuka rehna prefer karega.

"Aslesha beta. Mai nikal rahi hu, bahot der ho gayi hai" Usha tai says and looks at me and the door pitifully. I nod and she leaves.

It's just me and Viraj here now. Alone.

"Viraj?" I say, his name sounding foreign yet familiar on my tongue.

I've avoided listening and using his name for years now.

I knock again and again and again. When I'm about to knock again he suddenly opens his door when my hand is mid-air and I gasp.

"Mai darwaza nahi khol raha matlab I am busy. Go away!" He says.

"Mai khana laayi thi. Please kha lo" I say and he looks down at the plate and then at me, his face void of any emotion.

"Mujhe bhuk nahi hai" he says and starts closing the door again but I step a little ahead and put my foot in between.

"Usha tai ne kaha ke tumne kuch sahi se khaya nahi hai subah se" I say.

"Mujhe nahi khana. Tum jaao yaha se I'm busy" he says.

"Please ye lo fir mai chali jaaungi" I say forwarding the plate. He looks at me angrily and then takes it.

I sigh and turn away to hide my smile.  I start walking away when the sound behind me makes me stop.

I turn and see that the plate is thrown on the floor with all it's content scattered on the ground. I gasp as I feel a stab in my heart.

He has already closed the door. I gulp down the heavy feeling that forms in my throat and clean the floor.

I bring the food jo mai khaane wali thi and go to his room again. Mai bhuki reh lungi, chalega.

I again knock on his door.

"Fuck off!" I hear his voice from inside and wince at his words.

"Mai khana laayi hu. Please kha lo" I say but he doesn't reply. I knock on his door again and again.

Mujhse dushmani hai toh thik hai. Khaane ne kya bigaada hai?

He opens the door fuming with anger and coward under his gaze. I forward the plate.

"Samajh me nahi aata kya tumhe? Are you dumb? Nahi khaana mujhe. I'm not hungry. Mujhe bhook nahi hai" he says and pushes my hand away forcefully and the plate falls.

He scoffs and slams the door right on my face as I look at the food and then his door as tears form in my eyes. And soon enough the hurt forms into anger.

I clean the floor again. Agar vo ziddi hai toh mai bhi kam nahi hu. I'll show him ziddi.

I go to the kitchen and quickly make sandwiches and take the plate to his room.

Here we go. Again.

This time I don't knock, I fucking bang on his door loudly, continuously. He opens the door suddenly and my fist connects his face and I gasp and step back.

"Ab ye kha lo. Bass ho gayi tumhari zid. Aur mai tumhe kuch batana chahti hu. Vo sunn ke jo karna hai kar lo" I say angrily as my heart starts hammering in my chest.

That's it. Ab vo sune ya na sune, mai galaa faad ke bata dungi ke I had brain tumor.

"Jab you saw me and Neel-"

"Shut the fuck up Aslesha! Tum me bilkul bhi sharam nahi hai kya? Or is it my success that's making you beg before me now. Ek baat kaan khol ke sunn lo. I fucking hate you. And nothing, absolutely nothing, will ever change my opinion about you. You are a cheat and a characterless girl. You and your fucking Neel can go die for all I care!" He shouts at me, his height towering above me.

Just say it.

"Viraj tab mujhe brain-"

My eyes suddenly catch something glittering and I look at his ring finger. There's a ring on it.

No. No. Just no.

"Speak up! I don't have time" he says rolling his eyes.

"That ring" I ask, raising my shaking hand and pointing towards it.

"I'm engaged" he says casually, directly like it's a common fact that everybody knows and this time I drop the plate from my hand.

"Engaged?" I barely whisper, my eyes fixed on the ring.

"Ha. News nahi dekhti kya?" He says getting annoyed and my eyes fill with tears.

It's over.

"Bologi ya fir aise hi khade rehna hai idiot ki tarah" he again insults me and I clench my eyes shut tightly.

Ab sach bata ke bhi kya karna hai? Mai aaj tak, paanch saal pehle ke vo party me hi atki hu. Lekin vo bahot aage badh gaya. Bahot hi jyada. Itna ke mere saamne ho ke bhi mai uss tak kabhi pahoch nahi paaungi.

That was the biggest mistake of my life. I let him go. And he's gone now. Forever.

Why did I think ke usse koi aur nahi milegi? He's amazing and there are thousands of other girls who are so much better than me.

"Kuch nahi" I say looking down at my feet.

He slams the door on my face again. I numbly pick up the food and clean the floor again for the third time now.

I walk out to the living room and see that there are no chairs or tables or anything for me to sit. Just boxes of cardboard here and there.

So I take a few boxes and flatten them and keep them in a line. I lie down on them as I feel cold and tired and hungry. But most of all I feel void. I had just a tiny bit of hope for a chance with Viraj. But now even that's gone. He's engaged. He's is love with another girl.

It's one thing when the person you love doesn't love you back and it's a completely different thing when the person you love, loves somebody else.

I'm engaged.

His words fill my ears, my mind, my entire being completely and it spreads like poison. I can't take it anymore. Everything in my body is aching.

I close my eyes as the first tear leaves my eye. Then another and another and another.

I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them as I hear thundering outside. It's pouring outside now, and the weather feels just like my mood. I silently sob and go to sleep.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

*Viraj*

It's fucking 4am and I can't sleep at all. There's no sound except the sound of the rain and thundering. I'm hungry and tired and restless. The fact that she's sleeping in my house is making me anxious and fidgety.

She didn't come back after I told her about my engagement. I don't even know where that came from. That ring was on my index finger and I had removed it and wore it on my ring finger because it was feeling itchy on that one.

She didn't react on that statement. She was just shocked I guess. But why would she even care. She has Neel now.

Are they still dating? Does he know that she's right now at my place. She must've told him obviously.

Is she happy with him? More than she was with me? That's if she was even happy with me.

Why can't my mind shut up and let me rest? I groan inside my pillow and then throw it.

I'm just hungry. Kuch kha ke so jaaunga. She's probably asleep in some room now. I leave my room and tip toe outside.

Khud ke hi ghar me chor jaisa behave kar raha hu.

I stop in my tracks when I see her small body on the floor shivering. She's turned herself into a ball to protect herself from the cold.

There's a tug in my chest when I look at her. She looks so vulnerable. I bring a blanket from my room and put in on her.

Insaaniyat ke naate. Nothing else.

I look at her for a few moments as she clutches the blanket tightly and wraps it around her. She turns to the other side and then again her breathing gets even. I let out my breath, I didn't even know I was holding it.

Stop staring at her like a creep. She kissed your best friend when she was dating you. Bhul gaya? Har raat that image haunts you fir bhi baaz nahi aana.

I clench my fists and walk to the kitchen. I see that there is one sandwich that she made still there. I look at it, contemplating whether to eat it or no.

Kha leta hu. Waise bhi pehle vo rice kha hi liya tha Jeetu ke ghar. Aur bahot khana waste hua aaj. I hate it when food goes to waste. Log bhuke marrte hai aur hume achha khana milta hai toh hum for granted lete hai.

Nahi khana chahiye. Tab mujhe pata nahi tha that she made that rice warna nahi khaata. And if I eat this it will be like letting her in my system again. It's too toxic. I can't let it in again. Let her in again.

Fuck it.

I eat the sandwich within a few minutes. It's just because I don't want them to go to waste. Again, insaaniyat ke naate.

Does her food always have to taste so good?

I feel better.

While going to my room, I look at her again.

Even in her sleep she doesn't look at peace. She looks troubled and she mumbles something incoherent. Ab tak neend me baat karne ki aadat gayi nahi.

I automatically step closer to hear what she's saying this time.

"Don't fire me" she says and I frown. "Did it.. for you" she says and I hold my breath. "For you" she says again and automatically my hand goes to her head to soothe her hair and she lets out a long sigh, her breathing getting even, the creases on her forehead disappearing.

What the fuck are you doing? If she opens her eyes right now, you'll have a lot to explain. Aur jo aaj itna khana hawe me udd udd ke kurbaan hua vo waste ho jaayega.

The fact that I'm still pulled toward her is disgusting me and making me mad. She's like my dad. People like them are selfish and unworthy of love.

I get up and get inside my room quickly. Tomorrow she'll leave and this will be the end of this nonsense. I'll again see her at the wedding but I'll just stay as far as possible from her.

Waha bahot log honge so it will be really easy. Upar se she'll be there with Neel. Fir toh no problem.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

*Aslesha*

I'm jolted awake by a dream but before I can grasp it, it fades away. Where the hell am I?

Viraj.

All the memories from yesterday come flashing in front of my eyes and I stand up quickly. I see a blanket on the floor and frown. I don't remember having this when I went to sleep.

I need to leave.

I remove the keys from my pocket and rush outside. I don't want to face him again. Jo hua vo bahot ho gaya. I look at my cell phone and see that it's 7 am.

Viraj probably so raha hoga. This house is starting to eat me up so I step out and let out a long breath. The raining has stopped but there are still dark clouds hovering above.

I get on my scooter and go home.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

I'm fired.

All thanks to that asshole. I tried to convince Mr. Robertson that he didn't need a chef but he was not ready to understand.

Also I didn't know that Jeetu, his nephew, hadn't told him that the person who had called me was Viraj.

Cricket star Viraj.

That made Mr. Robertson lose his mind and he went all batshit crazy on me.

Unke hisaab se maine Goan Accent ka naam kharab kar diya. He won't hire me again until Viraj himself tells him that I wasn't fired, and it was just that he didn't need a chef.

Sab achha chal raha tha and just in one day, my life has turned upside down.

All this shit is making me go crazy.

Usha tai told me that Viraj is here for his friend's wedding so it didn't take me long to figure out the equation of two plus two.

I call Rudra.

You are so dead Majnu!

~•~•~•~•~•~•

Well well well I'm on a update spree. Waise agle hafte mai gaav ja rahi hu for one week isliye jyada updates de rahi hu. Baad me complain nahi karna. Are you people liking this story line. I've got so much planned for you guys! I'm so excited for the next chapters. Please vote and comment on this one too. I love reading your comments. Ily :)