*Aslesha*

The next morning at 9am I switch on the TV and wait in anticipation for the match to begin. Pehli match ho ke bhi final wali feeling aa rahi hai. 10 baje shuru hone wali hai but I can't miss any of it.

Who would've thought ke Viraj ki pehli match Mai hospital bed me dekhungi.

My surgery will be done in the evening. I am super scared. But that's the last thing on my mind right now. I just want to see Viraj play.

It's 6 pm right now in New Zealand and the match is going to be India versus South Africa.

All the players come to the field for the national anthem and the camera focuses on all the the players one by one.

That's when I see him. He is smiling at the little boy standing in front of him for the anthem and my heart skips a beat. Just within two seconds the camera moves to the next player.

He looked so good in the Indian jersey. I couldn't see his expression properly because he was looking down at the boy.

I stand up for the national anthem as well. Papa ne bachpan se aadat lagayi hai. Mai kahi bhi rahu, national anthem play hone pe khade ho jaati hu.

When the anthem is over both the captains are called for the toss. Now I see him properly.

I feel like pausing the TV and just keep on looking at his face. I miss him so much.

I see Sachdev written on the back of his jersey. His mom would be so proud. I wonder how she is.

South Africa wins the toss and they decide to bowl first. The commentator asks both of them a few questions and Viraj answers all of them confidently without being intimidated.

He's gonna come in at number 3.

The match starts well from our side but I can't help but pray ke koi out ho jaaye. Mujhe Viraj ko dekhna hai. Raha nahi ja raha ab.

Jis reason ke liye itna bada bhukamp machaya vo toh dekh lu.

Finally after half an hour one of the batsman gets run out and in comes Viraj.

He does some stretches and talks with the other batsman for a few seconds.

Ab khelo bhi!!!

Viraj is on strike and all the hair on my body stands in attention. The first ball misses his face my a few inches.

Ye kaise fek raha hai idiot bowler!

The next is a yorker so the ball doesn't go far and no runs are made.

The next ball slightly misses his bat and there's an appeal for a wicket.

I put my hand on my mouth. Out? The umpire shakes his head. Haasshh..

"Kya kar rahe ho Viraj? Focus! Mere liye please. Itna sab ab waste mat jaane do. Just hit it once and you're ready to go. Come on. I love you" I murmur under my breath and the next ball goes for a four.

I squeal excitedly as papa enters the room.

"Papa dekho dekho Viraj khel raha hai. Abhi usne four maara. Kitna achha khel raha hai" I say smiling widely.

"Ha ha ab puri match dekh lenge. Tum aaram se baith jaao pehle" he says and sits on the couch.

Kitne dino baad aaj mai smile ki.

Viraj plays really well. He make 78 in 62 balls and I feel like smothering him with kisses. I'm so proud of him.

Throughout the match, I watch his every move. Captain Viraj. Captaincy suits him. Kitne achhe se sab ko direct kar raha hai.

The one thing I also notice during the match is his agression. His anger. Itna agression se vo normally khelta nhi. But today his game is full of agression. Not that it's a bad thing. It's made him better.

Ball ko mera muh samajh ke maar raha hoga.

I frown at that thought. He must not even be thinking about me. He's fully into the game.

The match ends at 2pm and India wins the match. Viraj looks really really happy. Uski pehli international match aur vo itna achha perform kiya. Jeet bhi gaya.

I hear the commentator say that Viraj has a long way to go and he will definitely grab a position in one of the IPL teams if he remains consistent like this throughout the series.

Agar aisa ho gaya toh bass fir sab thik ho jaayega. His career and life will be set. I feel happy for him. He did well.

I love you Viraj.

Later the time fades away quickly and soon it's 5pm and that's when all the nervousness and anxiety hits me in full force. Ab surgery hai ek ghante me.

Papa whispers soothing words of encouragement to me. Trupti tai, Neel and Pari are here too. They all wish me luck. I'm sweating even in this air conditioned room. My hands are clamy and it's like I'm gonna get a panic attack.

Dr. Chawla enters my room. "Ready beta?" She asks.

I fearfully look at papa and tighten my grip on his hand that is holding mine.

I hope this is not the last time I'm seeing these people.

Aaj kal kuch bharosa nahi life ka. Just a week ago I read in the newspaper that a lady who went to her daily dental checkup died because of some error made my the dentist. There's a saying that more people die due to medical errors than in plane crashes.

I then look at Trupti tai and she hugs me tightly. Pari kisses my cheek with unshed tears in her eyes and Neel mouths 'it's gonna be okay' with a weak smile.

My eyes fall on my papa again and I guess he mirrors my expression. He is as terrified and nervous as me but he is masking it well so that I don't feel weak.

He kisses my forehead and says, "Tumhe kuch nahi hoga. Ek-do ghante me milte hai okay. I love you Aashu. Be strong".

"I love you too papa" I say and lie down on the stretcher that is brought for me and close my eyes.

They take me to the operation theatre and shave my head from behind my ear to the back of my head where the surgery will happen. I can easily hide that part with the partition of my hair.

Then they give my an injection of I don't know what but I start feeling sleepy. It's what they call sedation I guess.

I close my eyes and I see the face of Viraj.

"Viraj" I whisper.

"Yes darling girl it's fine" I hear a female voice and a few people shuffling about in the room.

Again I close my eyes and remember the first day of college. He'd entered the class taking everybody by surprise like he'd come straight out of a magazine in that white shirt and faded jeans. My hormones and subconsciousness were out of control that day.

And when we'd become partners. He was so angry and irritated.

'Usse problem hai ke nahi uska chhod. Mujhe problem hai Rudra. I can't be her partner for the rest of the year!'

And then he secretly saw me dancing and when I'd visited his house for the first time for the match I remember how he introduced himself to Saumya.

'Hi. I'm Viraj, Aslesha ka crush.'

Kisse pata tha ke kuch dino me ye baat sach hone wali thi.

And then the whole dance competition thing.

'No like seriously. Have you seen yourself dancing Aslesha? It's.. its.. kaise bataau tumhe? It's magical. Magical and mesmerizing and I just don't know but it's something I couldn't take my eyes off of.'

And then the misunderstanding. Neel's farm house. The truth about his dad. And then when it was all cleared the feeling of falling in love with him. Slowly and then all at once.

You are not my enemy. You are someone really very special to me. My dancing queen, my sleeping pill, my support system, my best girl.

The time he took me bungee jumping.

'Beautiful. You're beautiful.'

And then that kiss which changed everything. Made my life turn upside down.

And when he was jealous of Jay and I was avoiding him after the kiss.

There's moments like this where you frustrate the crap out of me and I feel like kissing the crap out of your frustrating mouth.

When he broke down at night in front of me after his parents' divorce.

'Please don't leave me.'

And the time when he was pursuing me to date him.

'I feel like staying with you all the time and I care about you more than anyone else and in bad situations it's you that I want by my side. And I feel like kissing you all the bloody time. In fact, I feel like kissing you now. Can I kiss you?'

Girlfriend..

'Aslesha Mathur, please meri girlfriend bann jaao'

And lastly..

'I love you. I love you Aslesha Mathur.'

And with that thought I'm pulled into oblivion.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

I try to open my eyelids but they feel heavy. I can hear shuffling around me and people's voices but before I grasp anything I am pulled into deep sleep again.

I can hear some beeping sounds and again I try to open my eyes but they feel too heavy. I try to move but I can't feel my body.

"Usse puri tarah thik hone ke baad hi batana chahiye" I hear someone say.

"Ha abhi nahi bataayenge. Once she gets discharged, fir" I hear a female voice.

Who is it?

But before I think too much, again everything goes blank.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

I slowly open my eyes and sharp light pierces my vision so I close them again and groan.

"Aslesha? Aashu are you awake? Can you hear me?" Someone says anxiously. It's papa.

I again open my eyes slowly and squint. "Parde.. band.." I say. My throat feels like sandpaper. I desperately need a glass of water.

Papa rushes and closes the curtains and in a blink comes beside me again. "Bachha ruko mai doctor ko bulaa ke laata hu" he says as I slowly open my eyes and kisses my forehead quickly.

Dr. Chawla comes inside the room along with Pari and papa.

"Darling how are you feeling" she asks helping me to sit up.

"Paani" I say hoarsely and Pari quickly brings me a glass and I drink it.

Dr. Chawla checks my pulse and heartbeats. "Sarr dukh raha hai?" She asks.

"Thoda thoda" I say looking at the surroundings. I'm back in my private room.

"Mr. Mathur she's perfectly okay now. We were just waiting for her to gain consciousness. Now that she has you can take her home by the evening" she tells him.

"Thank you so much" he says and she leaves the room.

"How are you feeling Aashu" papa asks taking my hand. "I'm okay papa. I'm hungry" I say and he chuckles. I'll bring you some food" he says and leaves the room.

I look at Pari who is teary eyed. "Ab rone mat lag ja. Thik ho gayi hu mai. Itne jaldi nahi marungi" I tell her and she chuckles as a few tears leave her eyes.

She lightly, carefully hugs me. Like I'm some kind of a glass doll and even a little bit of pressure will break me. I smile.

"For how long was I unconscious" I ask her.

"Kal shaam ko tera operation hua uske baad abhi uthi hai tu. Almost 20 hours. Tera tumor puri tarah nikaal diya hai. Ab koi tension nahi" she says with a wide smile.

I smile back in relief. I quickly say a silent thank you prayer to God. Finally it's over.

"Bass ab kuch dino me Viraj aa jaaye. Fir sab back to normal ho jaayega" I say and sigh.

Pari stiffens beside me and I look at her questioningly. "Kya hua?" I ask her.

"Kya? Kuch bhi toh nahi" she frowns. Pakki actress hai but mere saamne iska drama nahi chalega.

"Pari bataa-".

"Aashu khana. Garma garam khichdi" papa says holding a plate in front of me and I make a face.

"Khichdi?"

"Ha abhi kuch din yahi khana hai. Aur yaha yahi milta hai" he says bringing the spoon to my mouth and I turn my face away.

"Ab kya bachpan ki tarah spoon ko aeroplane ki tarah udaa ke tumhe khilana padega?" he asks in amusement and I chuckle.

I open my mouth and he starts feeding me. Pari has left the room. That little cunning bitch. Baad me batati hu usse.

By evening I get discharged and go home. I have food early and Papa's behaviour looks off.

It's like he knows something that I don't. Neel aur pari bhi jab aaye the hospital tab aise hi behave kar rahe the. Mujhe laga ke mera brain tumor sabse bada problem tha. But now I feel like kuch aur hai jo koi mujhe bata nahi raha.

I text Pari.

*There's something you're not telling me Paro. I need to know. What is it?*

She replies after a few moments.

*Nothing. Did you have food?*

Seriously? She's changing the topic now.

*Pari don't play that game with me. TELL ME* I text her back.

*I'll be at your house in 15 minutes* she replies instantly.

I sigh. Ek problem khatam hui nahi ke dusri chalu. Again I'm feeling scared now. Mere heartbeats ko shaanti hi nahi. Pichle kuch dino se bass daude ja rahe hai. Ye sab ke chakkar me kahi completely ruk na jaaye.

While waiting for pari I open Instagram and look at Viraj's profile. He has deleted his old profile and opened a new one. It's private.

There's even one fanpage for him. Ohho. Not bad. I open the page. It's new so there are not many followers. I see one picture which they've posted of him weight lifting. The caption is 'Viraj Sachdev makes me wet. Ahh I love him'.

I frown. Pakka kisi ladki ne khola hai. Ladka bhi ho sakta hai waise. Wet? Seriously. I mean.. okay. But seriously?

Why am I even stalking him like that!

Suddenly my door opens and I quickly hide my phone like I've been caught watching porn.

It's Pari.

Haasshhh.

But then Neel enters the room behind her. And then Rudra. My eyes widen. Then our whole group enters.

Ok what the hell.

I quickly put on my scarf on my head and sit straight.

"Rehne de Aashi inhe sab pata hai" Pari says looking down at the floor.

"What?"

"I'm sorry. Jab tune abhi mujhe message kiya tha tab I was with Rudra. And then I just couldn't... I just-" she stops speaking and looks down. "I'm so sorry" she says again.

I look at them nervously. Rudra can never keep his mouth shut so zaahir si baat hai ke baaki logo tak ye baat iss daadi amma ne pohchaayi.

"Tu mujhe nahi batayi moti. How could you? Majnu majnu karte ghumti hai aur ye baat batana zaruri nahi samjhi" he says coming towards me and hugging me. And then everyone encircles me in their arms in one big hug. I blink back my tears.

"We're all really sorry jo humne tumhe itne jaldi bina soche judge kiya. Chaddha, tujhe bhi sorry yaar" Tej says.

Everybody nods in agreement and says sorry.

"It's fine guys. Lekin now that you know maine ye sab kyu kiya, I hope kisi ne Viraj ko bataya nahi. Please usse kuch bataao mat" I say and Saumya starts crying.

"Hey I'm okay. Viraj aa jaayega tab vo bhi mujhe maaf kar dega hopefully and everything will go back to normal then" I say giving her a weak smile and giving her hand a light squeeze.

And then Pari starts sobbing loudly and I see a few tears flow down Rudra's eyes.

"Wh-whats wrong guys. Itna kyu ro rahe ho?" I ask getting confused desperately hoping that it's not because I mentioned Viraj.

"Usse hum bataa hi nahi sakte Aashi" Sid says rubbing his eyes.

"Kya matlab?" I ask looking at everyone. They're giving me a weird expression. Sympathy? Pity?

"WHAT IS IT?" I yell.

"Aslesha vo party ke baad Viraj kaha gaya pata nahi. Uske ghar pe naye log rehne aaye hai jinhe unhone vo ghar bech diya" Rudra says.

Bile rises is my throat as I feel a heavy weight settling on my chest.

"Uska phone nahi lag raha. Mere mom ne unse pucha tha jab ye shifting chal rahi thi, I was in college then, but they just said ke they're gonna start a new life somewhere. Aunty ka phone bhi band hai. Uska bhi. Kisi ko pata nahi vo kaha gaye" Rudra says and I feel.. I feel.. I don't know what it is that I feel anymore.

I take my phone and dial his number just to be sure.

"The number you have dialled does not exist. Please check the number you have dialled".

I keep away my phone.

"Hum bahot dino se try kar rahe hai uss tak pahochne ka. But kuch nahi ho paa raha" Joel says and I gulp.

So.. that's it? Just like that it's over.

"Okay" I whisper and nod.

"Aashi hum sab hai tere saath, hum sab dhoondenge usse" Shabnam says.

"Kaha dhoondenge Shabnam?" I shout as tears threaten to pour out. "You can only search for a person if he wants to be found. Vo abhi toh New Zealand me hai lekin kya pata uska naya ghar Kashmir me ho ya Kanyakumari me. Ya India me bhi hai ya nahi kya pata. Kaha dhundenge?" I say putting my head in my hands.

The whole room goes silent and just the sound of my heavy breathing can be heard.

The pain has started to crawl up my head again.

"He gave up on me. On us. Just like that. Meri galti thi I know but.. he just.. he didn't even.. he-" my voice breaks and I take in a long breath.

"Guys I'm tired" I say suddenly.

They all look at me worriedly with eyes filled with sympathy. I'm not liking it. I'm feeling suffocated.

"Aashi if you need anything-"

"I'll call you Pari. I know" I say before she can complete her sentence.

"Good night guys" I say and they all leave the room one by one. I wait for a few moments.

And then I break down.

I take my phone and throw it against the wall and cry loudly burying my face in the pillow.

How could you Viraj? How could you just leave me like that?

It's all my fault.

I get up from the bed and push the bedside table as the lamp and other things crash down on the floor. Everything I see in sight I break it.

Papa comes rushing inside my room and hugs me and I cry loudly in his arms.

"Sab khatam ho gaya papa. Sab khatam" I say between sobs.

"One day he'll know bachha" he says.

"No he won't. Ab vo bada cricketer bann jaayega. There's no way I'll reach him" I say.

"Vo bhi ho sakta hai" he says and I cry louder. "But have faith. In the long run you'll see why all of this happened. If it's meant to be it will happen. If it's not, you make it happen. Or maybe just let it go. Kuch baate apne bass me nahi hoti" he says.

"Ab so jaao" he says and tucks me in bed.

"And remember one thing Aashu, koi ho na ho, I'll always be there for you. Always" he says and leaves my room.

I close my eyes and the waterworks start again.

We weren't meant to be I guess.

Is this the ending of our story? I guess it is...

~•~•~•~•~•~•

Do you think this is the ending of their story. I think the f**k not! My baby Aashi, I got so emotional writing this one. I'm so excited for the next segment of this story. Don't forget to vote and comment. Ily :)

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