*Aslesha*

"I love you".

"I love you Aslesha Mathur".

It's like the world stops spinning then and there completely. Did Viraj just say that he loves me?

Is this a dream? This is definitely a dream. But it all seems too real.

Tears form in my eyes as I bite my lower lip.

He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. I have a brain tumor.

The thought of my brain tumor suddenly struck me and its like the world which had stopped, now shatters below my feet and I'm slapped back to reality.

I can't do this. No way.

How can I forget about what he said about this tournament being the only chance that he'll get to fulfill his dream.

Oh god!

The moment that should've been the best in my life has become the worst.

My phone starts ringing and suddenly Viraj blinks and we are out of the daze we were in. Whoever it is, is my saviour.

I remove my phone and Viraj frowns as he steps back so that now we are not standing too close.

Its papa.

"Hello papa" I say clearing my throat and looking at Viraj from the corner of my eye to see him kicking a small stone harshly.

He's clearly getting anxious.

"Aashu ho kaha tum? Late ho gaya hai beta. Dawaai bhi toh leni hai" he says.

"Ha papa Viraj ke saath hu, bass thodi der me aa rahi hu ghar" I say and hang up.

I walk towards Viraj and tap him on the shoulder. This has become so awkward.

"Papa ka phone tha. Ghar jaana chahiye ab" I say.

"Ghar? Abhi?" He says in a high voice but then after a brief pause, nods.

"Ha ha.. right. Raat ho gayi hai bahot. Ghar jaana chahiye ab" he says and sits on my scooter.

"Pehle tumhare ghar chalo" I tell him and he nods.

He sits stiffly as I sit behind him and the tension gets really thick between us. I've made up my mind of what I'm gonna do.

I love him. Aur uske liye itna karna hi hoga.

The ride back home is silent and when we reach his house and ring the bell his mom opens the door and as soon as she takes in our form, the glass in her hand slips.

"Ye kya tum dono ko itna kaise laga. Kya haalat banaa rakhi hai ye" she says ushering us in.

"Vo.. vo.." I start but his mom inturrupts me.

"Mujhe pata hai ki tum dono ko ek dusre pe bahot gussa aata hai aur bahot jhagadte ho tum dono.. isliye kahi tumne ek dusre ko hi toh nahi maar diya" she asks with a horrified expression.

"NAHI" me and Viraj say in unison with the same expression like her.

"Toh fir hua kya?" she asks getting impatient.

"Aslesha ko kuch gunde raste pe chhed diye toh.."

"Oh my god Aashi are you ok sweetie?" she asks and walks towards me, pulling me in a hug. I smile and blink back my tears.

"Chalo police station" she says and grabs her car keys.

"Nahi nahi aunty. Mai pehle papa se baat kar lungi. We'll manage" I tell her.

"Are you sure beta?" She asks again.

"Ha ha. We already gave those guys the punishment they deserve. So there's nothing to worry about" I assure her.

Viraj is silent the whole time and his mom is eyeing him again and again.

"Um first aid box kaha rakha hai?" I ask her and Viraj walks away to his room.

Viraj.. I'm so sorry.

"Upar Viraj ke room ke washroom me hoga" she says and we both flinch when we hear the door shut loudly upstairs.

"Kya hua isse?" she looks at me and asks. I simply shrug not knowing what to say to her.

She sighs and smoothens my hair and walks away towards her room as I stand in the middle of their house on the verge of a breakdown.

With a lot of himmat and nervousness I go upstairs and knock on Viraj's bedroom door before entering. He is shirtless and is applying an antiseptic cream on his wound near the elbow.

Did he have to be shirtless?

Why are you making this so difficult for me bhagwan ji?

"Laao mai kar deti hu" I say and go sit next to him.

"Mai khud kar lunga" he says calmly but I know that he is anything but calm right now.

I snatch the cream from his hand and he takes it back away.

"Arre kya bachpana hai Viraj? Mai bol rahi hu na mai kar dungi" I say and pull the cream out of his hand again.

He huffs as I take his elbow forcefully and start applying the cream while frequently blowing on it.

I try to see if he is in pain but his face remains passive without a hint of emotion.

I clean the dry blood on the corner of his lips and below his rose and then start applying the cream on his forehead when suddenly his fingers come up to clasp my wrist.

"Are we seriously just going to pretend that maine tumhe I love you nahi bola?" he asks.

Game. Over.

I let out a long breathe and bite my lip to not burst out crying.

"I.. I.. I don't know Viraj. I mean maine kabhi itne aage ka socha nahi" I say and I see him visibly gulp as he looks away.

Aage ka socha hai maine. Bachho ke naam bhi.

"I do like you. And care for you. You're an amazing boyfriend and you're.."

"But tum mujhse pyaar nahi karti. At the end it all comes down to this" he says and chuckles humorlessly.

Mai tumse pyaar karti hu. Bahot pehle se. I really love you a lot Viraj. You have no idea.

I shake my head slowly, looking down at my feet.

"Mere cupboard se koi t-shirt le lo. Tumhara side se fatt gaya hai thoda" he says.

"Huh?"

"T-shirt lo cupboard se Aslesha" he says restlessly.

I quickly stand up and go towards his cupboard. I look through it trying to find what I want.

There it is. I pull out his cricket jersey and walk inside his washroom.

Now that Viraj's eyes are not trained on me, I feel like crying my heart out but I stay strong and wash my face.

I have nail marks on my arm where that asshole was gripping my hand tightly. My scalp is paining too, because of all the hair pulling. I shudder at that memory.

I wear his t-shirt and the familiar smell of him hits me up and I almost break down. Almost. But then I look at my reflection in the mirror.

Already tooti hui lag rahi hu. Aur kitna todu khud ko.

Viraj ke liye Aslesha. Viraj ke liye strong reh.

I go out and Viraj looks up at me.

"Mai chalti hu" I say and turn to leave.

"Ruko. Come here" he calls me and I go and stand in front of me. He looks up at me and pulls me down to sit beside him.

He grabs my chin and takes a good look at me face.

Then he looks at my hands and swears some really bad words under his breath.

He starts applying the anticeptic cream on my wounds really really gently. Like I'm made of glass.

"Aur kahi laga hai?" He asks. I shake my head in a no and then get up to leave.

"Aslesha" he says when I reach for his door, making me stop in my tracks again. I turn to look at him.

He walks towards me and suddenly pulls me into his arms. That was unexpected.

And the waterworks begin.

I put my arms around him and try not to show him that I've begun crying.

"I'm sorry. I obviously can't force you to love me. Tum nahi karti mujhse pyaar toh it's ok. I just want you to know that.. I love you" he says and again I feel like someone has twisted my heart painfully.

He breaks the hug and I quickly wipe my tearful face.

"Aslesha, tumne meri life change kar di hai. You've made me such a better person. And I just.. I just love you. You're smart and beautiful and amazing and kind. And you're a fabulous dancer. And you're a wonderful cook. And you're so cool and brave and funny. Tumhe lag raha hoga ke aaj heat of the moment me maine bol diya that I love you. But aisa nahi hai. Mai shayad bahot pehle se tumse pyaar karta tha. Realise mujhe aaj hua hai. And I am not going to be a total jerk and spoil this" he says pointing the space between us.

"Whenever you're ready Aashi, just know that I love you and I'm right here. And I'm gonna wait for you to say it. And I'm gonna make you fucking fall in love with me. Kyu ki Viraj ko koi reject kare aisa ho hi nahi sakta" he says and I chuckle.

He wipes my tears which I didn't realise were there and kisses my lips gently.

"Chalo mai tumhe ghar chhod deta hu".

"Nahi" I say quickly. "Tum abhi thak gaye ho. Mai chali jaaungi. Don't worry" I say.

"Are you sure?" He asks and I nod.

"Bye Viraj" I say and look around his whole room. Shayad ye last time ho jab mai yaha rahu. I push that thought away. No negative thoughts!

"Neeche tak aa raha hu mai" he says eyeing me intensely.

We walk downstairs in silence. "Aunty ko meri taraf se bye bol do" I say and he frowns.

"Goodbye Viraj" I say.

"Why does it feel like you're saying goodbye" he asks.

"Because I am" I say smiling nervously.

"Don't try to be smart. Is everything alright Aslesha?" He asks grabbing my shoulders and searching my face to look if I'm lying.

I keep up my strong facade. "Of course dummy. Sab thik hai. Mai thik hu. Ab chalti hu mai. Papa pareshaan ho rahe honge ghar pe" I say getting on my scooter.

Viraj takes the helmet from my hand and puts it on my head like he always does. He buckles it up below my chin and I smile and then leave.

As soon as I reach home and close the door behind me, I slide down the floor and start crying.

I literally start sobbing loudly as papa rushes out of his room and runs towards me.

"Aashu kya hua beta?" he asks placing my head on his shoulder and rubbing my back.

"Papa, Viraj.. Viraj.." I again break down as my entire body starts shaking with the weight of my tears.

Papa quietly sits by my side soothing my hair like he always does until my eyes are empty of tears and all that is left are dry hiccups.

"You wanna talk about it now?" He asks once I calm down.

"Viraj mujhse pyaar karta hai. He said that he loves me" I say as tears form in my eyes again.

"Toh isme rona kya. Ye toh achhi baat hai na" he says.

"Nahi papa. Uska under 19 world cup aa raha hai kuch hi dino me. Vohi period me jab meri surgery hogi. Mai usse aaj batane wali thi. But now that he loves me I know he won't go for his matches. He will miss them for me. To stay by my side during all this. But mai uspe bojh nahi banna chahti. Uska career depend karta hai ye matches pe. Puri life depend karti hai. It's his one and only dream. I can't ruin it" I say.

"You are not ruining it Aashi. It's his choice whether to wait or not. His choice to decide between you and his matches. He has the right to know as your boyfriend".

"Aap mere side ho ya uske" I say.

"Mai vo side hu jaha tumhe takleef na ho. It's his choice Aslesha".

"Mai usse choice dena hi nahi chahti. I've seen him work so hard for it for years papa. The only choice is to go play the matches and give his damn best. It's his one and only chance. Agar aage ja ke humare beech ye relation work out nahi hua aur vo mujhe blame kiya toh" I say putting my head in my hands.

"Viraj waisa ladka nahi hai" papa says.

"Vohi problem hai. Vo bahot achha hai. But I can't live with this guilt of ruining his dream and future because of me. That is, if I live" I say.

"Aslesha!" Papa says sternly.

Jhut kya kaha maine? Surgery sahi nahi rahi toh....

"Papa aap kisiko bataao mat kuch bhi please. Mai ab sab kuch achhe se plan kar lungi. Kaise kya karna hai. Uske matches ke baad sab bataa dungi usse" I say.

"Agar koi faaltu plan raha jisse tumhe takleef ho toh I'm not gonna agree" he says.

"Okay" I say and he stands up and I stand up with him.

"Tum kuch jyada hi achhi ho Aashu. Mother Teresa" he says and I chuckle.

"I love him papa. I really do. And I just want whatever is best for him" I say and go to my bedroom.

There's a text from Viraj saying goodnight. I reply the same and go to my phone's gallery. I scroll through our pictures. So many of them.

I stop at one of our group pictures. Our whole group is in it and it's taken at the sea view cafe.

I first look at Tej and Sid with Saumya sitting in between them. Saumya is giving a cute smile as Tej has her head on her shoulder and Sid is showing a middle finger to the camera. I laugh.

Then there's Joel and Shabnam. Shabnam is wearing his glasses and Joel has his arm around her shoulder and the other hand is pulling her cheek while he's laughing.

Then I look at Rudra and Pari. Pari. My best friend. They both look so happy. Rudra is sitting on the backrest of the couch with his arms around her shoulders and kissing her hair. Pari on the other hand, is giving a cute pout with her hands on his knees.

Then there's us.

My eyes instantly fill with tears. Viraj and me. And boy do we look like the perfect couple!

So happy and so perfect.

I'm sitting on his lap with both my legs on one side and a cheeky grin, almost a laugh. I zoom in the picture. Viraj has both of his hands around my waist as he's trying to poke me cheek, dimple actually, with his tongue. Such a dork.

I zoom out and look at these weirdos in my life. This is what happy looks like.

Then suddenly my eyes fall on Neel. He has made an over exaggerated disgusted face looking at all of us. Deep inside he loves all of us like we are his little brothers and sisters. I know. He's the perfect senior.

Suddenly my brain comes up with a plan.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

Thanks for all the comments and love on the previous chapter guys. Bahot achha laga sab ka response dekh kar sachhi. And how was this chapter? Things are about to get worse. Seatbelts aur helmets pehen lo! Also a very happy holi to all those who celebrate it. Until next time.. ily :)