*Aslesha*

Beep beep.. beep beep.. beep beep.

My annoying alarm starts buzzing and I curse under my breath as I drowsily wake up and turn it off.

Wait what the hell.

Ye mera room nahi hai!

For a moment I panic but then my sleepy haze clears away.

Bangalore.

Mai abhi apne hotel room me hu aur aaj competition hai. I groan and rub my forehead. Aaj kal sarr bahot dukhne laga hai.

The competition is in the afternoon and the venue is not very far from here. All the hotel and travel expenses were provided by the college. Isliye mai kisi aur ko laa nahi paayi.

Sab log bahot zidd kar rahe the passes ke liye but outsiders allowed nahi the. Just the performers.

And so, for the very first time in my life, I traveled alone. Itne dur tak. This is a big achievement.

Issi baat pe aaj mujhe khud ko extra butter wale parathe kha ke treat karna chahiye.

Waise kal maine extra cheese wale pizza se treat kiya tha khud ko issi achievement ke liye but as long as college paise bhar raha hai, kya tension hai.

Free ka khana kabhi chhodna nahi chahiye.

I brush my teeth and take a really long shower thinking about Viraj.

Vo dumb ass kal mujhe jaane hi nahi de raha tha. Final announcement tak rukaa ke rakha airport pe. Hugs kar ke mann nahi bhar raha tha, na hi kiss kar ke. Waise mera bhi vohi haal tha.

Also maine finally decide kar liya hai ke mai usse I love you kehne wali hu. Jo hoga dekha jaayega. Accept kiya toh thik aur darr ke bhaag gaya toh bhi thik. Actually darr ke bhaag gaya toh mai uske peeche danda leke bhaagungi.

Bahot ho gaya pyaar se darna warna. Pyaar hi toh hai. Shark thodi. Vo ladka toh aisa hai ke shark ko face kar lega but pyaar ko nahi.

I smile at that thought.

After getting out of the shower I waste no time in ordering food and decide to call papa.

"Hello Aashu. Sab thik toh hai na?" He says as soon as he answers and I roll my eyes.

"Ha papa. Bass aise hi call ki thi. Aap nikle office ke liye?" I ask.

"Ha"

"Naashta kar liya?"

"Ha"

"Canteen se Chinese vagera mat khana. Aapko acidity ho jaati hai fir" I say.

"Arre meri maa. Meri beti ho ke kya ho tum" he chuckles and I start laughing.

"Ye sab mujhe bolna chahiye tumhe" he says.

"Aap meri tension mat lo papa" I say.

"Achha thik hai. Competition ke liye all the best" he says.

"Thank you" I say.

"Toh mai ab office pahoch gaya hu. Karte hai baad me baat. Call karna mujhe competition ke time. Flight ka schedule change hua toh bhi call karna ok? Mai tumhe lene aa raha hu, akele mat aa jaana".

"Ok. I'll call you" I promise him.

"Chalo bye. Love you Aashu"

"I love you more" I say and hang up.

I sigh and scroll through the contact list and see the name 'dummy'. Pehle sirf dummy kar ke naam save tha lekin ab side me heart ka emoji bhi aa gaya hai.

I decide to call him. Uski bhi aaj dopeher ki flight thi.

He doesn't pick up.

I sigh and lean back on the bed and decide to watch TV. After a few moments my vision goes a little blur and I have to blink several times to bring it back to focus.

Aaj kal ye bahot hota hai. Shayad chashma lag gaya hai mujhe. Aankho ka check up karna hoga.

The food arrives and I munch it down and then the next part of the day is a bore.

The dance was good. But kya kya dancers hai India me. Mai toh shocked hi reh gayi kuch log ke performances dekh ke. In sab logo ke beech mere jeetne ka koi chance hi nahi hai. Bahot talent hai India me. The performances were outstanding. I gave my best too.

Kya pata aur kitne log honge jo chhup ke hai. Apna talent dikhane se sharmaa rahe hai. Ya insecure hai. Vo toh achha hua Viraj mere life me aaya. Un sab ke bhi life me koi Viraj jaisa partner aa jaana chahiye jo unko unke shell se nikaale.

Viraj ne dance ke pehle call kiya tha but tab bhi jyada baat nahi hui kyu ki tab mai jaldi me thi. Aur mera performance ka time ho gaya tha.

Ek dusre se dur jaate hai tab humari baat hi nahi hoti. Pata nahi jab ye matches ke liye jaayega tab kya haal hoga mera.

Mai sab handle kar lungi as long as vo mere saath hai.

When I reach the airport I drop a message to Viraj and papa that I'll be boarding the plane now. Papa will be coming to pick me up.

When the plane takes off I again start feeling dizzy and my head starts paining. Not again with this headache. Oh god.

By the time the plane lands, my head ache has increased ten times. Its like someone is piercing a thousand needles into my brain.

I can't even walk properly.

I somehow walk out and look around the crowd of people to find papa. My vision turns blurry and out of focus again. Ye kya ho raha hai mere saath?

Shit shit shit!

I close my eyes and breathe in and out to calm down and then open my eyes again.

Better.

I spot him. He is waving at me and I smile and walk towards him. Ab papa hai na saath. Ab koi darr nahi.

As soon as I reach near him, his smile disappears and a look of worried shock comes on his face. I frown. Kya hua inhe?

My question is answered as soon as I reach near him. He touches the part below my nose and I see blood on his fingers.

My blood.

My mind automatically goes blank as I feel wetness above my lips.

Fuck!

~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Papa kal aa jaate na yaha. Ab mera sarr dard nahi ho raha. Aur waise bhi koi bada issue nahi hai nose bleeding. It's fine" I say putting my hand above his shaking hands.

I'm freaking out. I'm scared. But he doesn't need to know this. Koi bada issue nahi hoga.

Hopefully.

"I know it's gonna be fine Aashu. But risk kyu lena, hai na? Ab aa gaye hai toh puch lete hai doctor ko" he says giving me a weak smile which doesn't reach his eyes.

He's freaking out. He's scared. But he's trying to be brave for me. I smile even though I'm scared. Mai bilkul papa jaisi hu.

"Anil Mathur" the nurse calls out Papa's name and we both enter the cabin.

Inside we are greeted by a lady in her mid 40s. She has a bright smile and she gestures us to come in and sit in front of her.

I look around. Everything is white. Some medicine related pictures are put up on the walls. That yuck hospital kinda smell that's present in all the hospitals is evident here too.

"Boliye Mathur ji. Kya baat hai?" she speaks and I quickly look at her and stop my wandering eyes. I see the name plate on the table. It says Dr. Chawla.

"Ji mujhe nahi. Ye meri beti hai, Aslesha. Vo aaj hi Bangalore se wapas aayi aur airport pe uska nose bleed hone lag gaya. Toh waha se seedha usse yaha laaya" papa says placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.

"Oh dear" she says putting all her attention on me now. "Aur kuch unusual ho raha hai kya beta?" she asks.

"Kabhi kabhi sarr dukhne lagta hai. Ek hafte se thoda dukh raha hai par aaj flight me bahot pain hua. Aur faintness aa jaati hai kabhi kabhi. Vision thodi blurry ho jaati hai. Mujhe laga bass chashma vagera laga hoga par aaj nose bleeding hone lagi" I say and gulp nervously.

She notes something down on her notepad and nods. Then looks up at me and gives me a reassuring smile. "Darrne ki jarurat nahi hai. Kabhi kabhi stress ya kuch body changes se hota hai. Fir bhi hum sure hone ke liye tumhara CT scan aur MRI nikaalenge. Reports se jo bhi hai vo pata chal jaayega" she says and hands papa a piece of paper.

"Kal hi aap tests karaa lo aur reports le aaiye mere paas" she says and we both stand up after saying thank you.

When we're going home I can't help but feel super nervous. I know kuch serious nahi hoga but a small part of me is terrified.

Kuch serious raha toh?

~•~•~•~•~•~•

It's been 2 days since I last visited the hospital. I haven't told anybody yet about it. I mean ab tak toh kuch pata bhi nahi. Kyu baaki ke logo ko tension deni.

Viraj kal wapas aa raha hai. Tab usse bata dungi. Vo aayega toh achha lagega mujhe. College me bore ho jaati hu uske bina. Bahot yaad aati hai uski.

Now me and papa are waiting outside Dr Chawla's cabin. Papa insisted me to stay home but mujhe aana tha. I want to know ke kya problem hai.

Reports directly Dr Chawla ke paas hi gayi toh I have absolutely no idea about it. Papa bhi bahot tension me lag rahe hai do din se. Mujhe dikhne nahi dete but I know him. Mujhe unke feelings pata chal jaate hai, vo kitna bhi chhupaa le.

Ye do din me nose bleeding toh wapas nahi hui but sarr dukhta hai kabhi kabhi. Aur chakkar aate hai. Jaldi thakne bhi lagi hu mai.

I wanted to search the symptoms on Google. But darr ke maare nahi ki. Himmat nahi hui. Abhi bhi nahi ho rahi.

Ek alag si feeling aa rahi hai andar se. Jaise kuch bahot bura hone wala hai.

"Mr Mathur" the same nurse from that day calls us and my thoughts are broken.

I quickly close my eyes and say a quick prayer to God and enter in with papa by my side. Taking a deep breath I sit on the chair in front of Dr Chawla.

She is studying some reports, which are mine I guess, and I see her gulp as she looks at papa and then me with concerned eyes.

Shit.

"Hello darling. How are you today" she asks and smiles. But it's not a bright smile like before. I can clearly see it.

"Good" I say and clasp my hands together as my heart starts hammering in my chest.

This is something bad. Very bad.

Shit shit shit.

"Mai tumhare papa se baat kar leti hu. Tum bahar rukogi beta?" she asks.

"No" I instantly snap at her. I take a deep breath to calm down my nerves. "Nahi. Sorry. Aap mere saamne bolo jo bhi hai. Papa please" I say looking at him.

He looks at me for a few seconds and then nods looking at Dr Chawla.

"Okay darling. You need to know that medical science bahot aage badh gaya hai ab aur chinta ki koi baat nahi hai" she says and pauses before saying the life changing and worst line I've ever heard in my life.

"Aslesha, tumhe brain tumor hai".

~•~•~•~•~•~•

Dun dun dun.....!!!
Don't kill me you guys.. you know I love you all na...