*Viraj*

Mai aadhe ghante se yaha khada hu stadium me aur iss ladki ka koi ataa pataa nahi.

Viraj Singhania, jo ladkiyo ko khud ke liye rukata hai vo aaj khud rukaa hai kisi ladki ke liye. Kya din aa gaye hai.

Waise Aslesha toh koi airi gairi ladki nahi hai. She's my dancing queen. Toh vo exception hai.

But jis tarah se maine kal baat ki.. oh my god. Kiss kar diya vo baat toh usne jaane di lekin kal jo maine kaha usse vo baat toh vo kabhi nahi bhoolegi. In fact ab vo mujhse kabhi baat bhi nahi karegi.

'There's moments like this where you frustrate the crap out of me and I feel like kissing the crap out of your frustrating mouth.'

I internally cringe when I remember my words. Arre arre. Mai toh bade achhe lines maarta hu ladkiyo ke saamne. Ye Aslesha ke saamne hi mand budhhi ho jaata hu.

How could I say that? Damn! Automatically mere muh se nikal gaya vo. Party me bhi aisa hi hua tha. Vo mujhse behes karti hai tab bass mann karta hai usse pakad ke zor se kiss karu.

Ek toh kisi ki mujhse jhagadne ki himmat hoti nahi, ladkiyo ki toh bilkul nahi.

Aur yaha ye ek ladki hai.. Har chiz me muh chalta hai. Sab ke jawaab ready rehte hai. And the worst part is that valid arguments rehte hai jo mera muh chup karaa dete hai.

Aur mai itna jealous kyu hota hu yaar? I want the best guy for her but dekha jaaye toh mai usse kisi ladke ke saath dekh hi nahi paata. Nobody is good enough for my paglu.

Mere favorite coffee ke shade ki uski vo aankhe, uska smart sense of humour, uske haath ka khana, vo dimple wali sabse best smile.. ye sab koi bahot hi achha insaan deserve karta hai.

Aur vo kiss...

Jab bhi vo kiss ke baare me sochta hu mere chest me ek ajeeb feeling aa jaati hai. Kiss ke aage peeche kya hua vo I don't remember, but that God damn kiss! That I remember so bloody clearly. Aaj kal dimaag me repeat pe ghumti rehti hai vo kiss.

Jab usne apne dono haath mere face ke sides me rakhe tab aisa laga jaise ke baaki ke saare surroundings gayab ho gaye. I've never gotten so lost in a kiss before.

Mere dil me ek alag si hi feeling aa rahi thi. Like they say 'my heart kept missing beats' aur mere haath itne marr rahe the usse ekdum kareeb laane ke liye. Kitna bhi paas lu, it was not enough.

Jab usse taste kiya tab.. tab aisa laga ke I've been starving. I have liked girls before but it didn't feel like this. I've kissed before but I didn't feel so alive. It was fire.

Shayad ek minute last hui vo kiss. Ya ek ghanta. Yaad nahi. Bass vo kiss yaad hai.

Jesus, look at me sounding like a hero from some dumb Bollywood movie. Vo heroes bhi itne cheezy nahi honge.

Achhi kisser hai waise Aslesha. Tabhi mann karta hai usse kiss karne ka. But that's not possible. Friends with benefits type ki ladki nahi hai vo.

My emotions are literally all over the place. Ye gussa jo aata hai jab vo Jay ke saath hoti hai, kya hai ye? Pehle toh kabhi itna gussa nahi aaya tha mujhe.

Vo Jay jyada chipkaa na Aashi ko toh fod dunga usse. Bloody..

"Oye lover boy. Kabse aawaz de raha hu dhyaan kaha hai?" I see Neel walking towards me and he comes and takes the seat beside me.

I just shake my head. "Akele bunk maar raha hai? Lectures nahi attend karne?" He asks and I look at the time. 11 bajj ke gaye hai. Shit, pata hi nahi chala. Ek ghanta ho gaya yaha.

"Agle lecture me jaaunga" I say and put my feet on the seats in front of me. I lean back and rub my forehead in frustration.

Aslesha stood me up. Usse bola tha maine milne aur vo aayi nahi. Class me gayi hogi seedhe. Kya din aa gaye. Sahi me Aslesha ka paaltu kutta bann raha hu dheere dheere. Like some dog waiting for his owner, I'm sitting here.

"Wapas chala gaya dreamworld me. Hello? Loverboy?" Neel says waving his hand in front of my face.

"Stop calling me that!" I snap at him.

"What? Loverboy?" he chuckles. "But you are a loverboy na. Aslesha ka..." He says but stops when I give him a death glare.

"Ja na bhai lecture attend kar" I say and he rolls his eyes. "Senior hu mai. Mujhe mat seekha. Waise tu yaha kya kar raha hai?" he asks.

"Aslesha ka wait" I say and immediately regret it when he gives me a wicked smile.

"Aslesha aur Viraj. Viraj aur Aslesha... Tum dono ka scene kya hai yaar?" he asks and I run my hands through my hair.

"Koi scene nahi hai. In fact kuch bhi nahi hai. Ek hafte se mujhe avoid kar rahi hai. Pata nahi kyu" I say exasperatedly.

"Mujhe laga nahi tha tu itna andhaa hai. Tujhe sahi me kuch khabar nahi hai kya? Paida hi itna mand hua tha tu ya inn maamlo me hai itna mand" he says looking at me like I can't solve the equation of two plus two.

"Kya bol raha hai seedha bol. Ye ghumaa firaa ke baate mat kar" I say.

What is he talking about? Kya nahi dikh raha mujhe?

"Ye mera kaam nahi hai bataane ka. Tujhe khud samajhna hoga" he says and pats my head like I'm a little boy.

Huh?

"Bade confusing logo se surrounded hu mai" I say shaking my head.

"I guess you are the one confused here" he says and I decide to ignore that statement.

"Achha ye bata ke tere pyaar ke baare me kya views hai?" he asks and I look at him with a poker face.

"Gay nahi hu mai bhai. Kaisi baate kar raha hai tu mujhse yaar" I say and lean away from him.

Ho bhi sakta hai ye gay. Kabhi ladkiyo ko date nahi karta. Halki fulki flirting bass.

"Jo insaan pyaar ki baat kare vo gay? Kaisi soch rakha hai tu? Pyaar hai vo pyaar. Duniya baate karti hai ispe. Poetry, novels likhe jaate hai ispe. Love... Toh bol kya views hai tere ispe?" he asks and waits for my answer.

Ye achanak ye topic pe kaise aa gaye. Pyaar pe kuch discuss karne se achha hai mai dinosaur ki potty pe kuch discuss karu.

"I don't know. Over rated lagta hai pyaar. Ye love love love.. aakhir hai kya ye? Sab log bass pagal ho jaate hai. Love nowadays is not just blind, its dumb, deaf, handicapped and retarded too. In short, mujhe pyaar se allergy hai" I say and Neel's eyes widen a little as he takes in my words.

"Baap re Viraj. Itne gande views hai pyaar ke upar? So you'll never believe in love?" he asks.

"Never" I state.

"Why?" He asks exasperatedly.

"Easy. Mai nahi chahta ke meri khushi kisi aur pe depend ho, ke vo mujhe attention de ya na de. Vo sab raat bhar jaag ke ye sochna ke vo mujhe pasand karti hai ya nahi, ye sab faaltugiri chahiye hi nahi. Mai aise insaan ke liye rote nahi baithna chahta jo meri care hi na kare. Phone ko ghurte baithna pura time ke uska message aaye, na aaye.. Na. Mujhse nahi hoga"  I say and Neel's jaw drops open.

"Ye.. ye heartbreak ka description diya hai tune pura. Pyar aur heartbreak dono alag chiz hai" he explains.

"Mere liye nahi. Jaha pyaar hai waha heartbreak hai hi. Infact love is the synonym for pain in my dictionary" I say casually.

"Kya yaar aisa kyu? Koi bahot bura break up hua kya tera kabhi" he asks.

"Mom dad ka divorce hone wala hai. In fact aaj hearing hai. Mom Mumbai gayi hai waha ke court me" I say as I clench my fists and gulp down my emotions.

Courts me toh bahot ek ke baad ek hearings hote hai toh mahine lag jaayenge divorce hote hote. Maa ko hearing ke liye jaate rehna hoga but. Mujhe bhi jaana tha but maa mujhe strictly manaa ki.

"There are so many successful relationships too. Apne hi dosto me dekh le. Shabnam aur Joel. Tera best friend Rudra. Itne saal pyaar me believe kar ke aakhir usse Pari mil hi gayi. He's so happy now" he says with a smile.

"10 saal lag gaye usse almost. Pyaar hai ya kisi sarkaari office me le gaya hua kaam" I say and roll my eyes. He chuckles.

"Bike pe itne accidents hote hai. Toh tu bike chalana bhi chhod de na. Har insaan ko aakhir marrna hi hai, iska matlab ye toh nahi ke jeene me koi matlab nahi" he explains with a small smile on his face.

He has a point. But that's his point of view. Not mine.

"By the way tu bahot gyaan de raha hai pyaar ke upar. Experienced lag raha hai bahot" I say and punch his shoulder.

Again that same odd expression passes his face. Sad and pained. He removes his wallet from his pocket and from inside it, removes a picture. That same picture which he had dropped yesterday.

Vo ladki ka photo. Now that I look at it closely I see that the picture is old. And the girl in it seem really young. Around 14-15 years. Hai kon ye?

Sensing my question Neel answers it. "Ye Maya hai. Mera pehla pyaar" he says and shows me the picture.

I look at it. Her hair is tied in two pony tails and she is wearing huge specs. She is smiling at the camera happily. It's a real smile. Like the one holding the camera made a joke or something and she cracked up.

"Maine kheechi thi ye photo. Tab hum 14 saal ke the. Summer vacations ki pic hai" he says and takes the photo from me and looks at it in a daze like remembering that memory.

I nod for him to go on.

"Mere mama ka ghar tha na, unke pados me rehti thi iski family. Mai hamesha jaata rehta tha fir. Diwali, new year, summer vacations, sab chhutiyo me mama ke ghar. Bachpan se jaante the hum dono ek dusre ko. Bahot achhi aawaz thi uski. Singer banna chahti thi. Waha ke saare dost mujhe uske naam se chidhaate the. Ke Maya Neel ko pasand karti hai" he says and chuckles, lost in the memory.

"But I was such a jackass. Mujhe bhi dikhta tha ke vo mujhse pyaar karti thi. Pakdum pakdaai ke time sirf mere peeche bhaagna, lukka chhupi ke time mere saath chhipna.. pata tha mujhe. Mai bhi usse bahot pasand karta tha. Teams bannte the tab mai hamesha usse mere team me leta tha, baaki sab ko Cadbury ka ek tukdaa but usse do deta tha. I guess vo mera wait karti rahi ke kab mai confess karunga aur mujhe koi ghai nahi thi. Mujhe laga vo toh yahi hai. Kaha jaayegi? Mujhse hi toh karti hai pyaar. Toh bass saath hi rehna hai hume. Confess vagera kya karna? Aur bass issi chakkar me kabhi bata hi nahi paaya usse..." He says and blinks furiously like blinking away his tears.

"Bataa nahi paaya matlab? Ab bhi tu usse pyaar karta hai na?" I ask.

"Ha. Hamesha karunga" he says.

"Toh bol na usse" I say getting restless.

"Nahi bol sakta" he replies sadly.

"What? Kyu?" I ask.

"Because she is no more" he whispers so softly that I barely hear it.

A tear falls from his eye which confirms that what I heard was correct.

"N.. no more?" I whisper.

"Suicide. She committed suicide do saal pehle. Usse singer banna tha but uske ghar wale usse force kar rahe the doctor banne. Maarte the usse jab vo manaa karti thi. Suicide letter me likhi vo ke koi mujhse pyaar nahi karta" he says and pulls his hair is frustration.

"Lekin mai karta tha Viraj. Bataane ki himmat nahi hui. Kaash batata usse. Kaash pehle hi samjh jaata uski value. Kaash uske saath hota vo time pe. Kiski zindgi me kya chal raha hai kabhi bahar se pata hi nahi chalta. I was a complete selfish jerk" he says and puts his head in his hands.

I just sit there looking at him. His past is worse than mine. Kabhi laga nahi tha. Mera bhai, captain chaddi, itna kuch face kiya hai..

"Kabhi kisi ko for granted nahi lena Viraj. Jo insaan aaj hai, jaruri nahi ke vo kal bhi hoga. Feelings express karo, never ever hold yourself back. Even if you know you'll regret it later. Kisi ko for granted nahi lena. Apni life ko toh bilkul nahi" he says and just then the bell rings indicating that the first lecture has ended.

I look at my feet not knowing what to do.

"Bahot bada pravachan diya na" he chuckles and rubs his eyes. "Chal ab ja lecture ke liye. Lecture ko bhi for granted mat le" he laughs and I smile sadly as I get up.

I look at him for a moment.

"Arre thik hu mai. Ja" he says and pushes me to go. I walk a few steps and then turn back and quickly give him a side hug.

"Bhai, tu mera bhai hai" I say and he laughs.

"Thank God. For a moment I thought you were gonna kiss me loverboy" he says.

I leave him and kick his leg. "Chal bhak" I say and walk away.

"Bhaad me ja" he shouts behind me and I smile and walk towards our class.

Sahi kaha Neel ne. Life ka kya bharosa aaj kal. Jo aaj hai vo kal nahi. Mai Aslesha ko for granted nahi lena chahta. Already bahot le chuka hu. Whatever it is we will solve it maturely. Class me baat karta hu usse.

When I reach the class I see that the place where we sit is empty. Aayi hi nahi ye college?

"Kya akele akele bunk maar rahe ho tum dono. Kaha gaye the ha?" Joel asks when I take my seat.

"Aslesha hamesha mere saath nahi hoti" I snap at him. "Whoa dude" he says raising his hands up and I roll my eyes.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

"Ye dal hai? Haldi ka paani hai ye. Aur ye chaval dekho. Pakaate bhi ho ya kachhe khilaa rahe ho students ko. Aur ye sabzi hai? SABZI HAI YE? Mutter ke sabzi me mutter kaha hai?" I shout at the man serving food in the cafeteria.

"Baaki ka koi complain nahi kar raha. Tujhe hi problem hai" that arrogant man says and gives me an uninterested look.

Saala budhha samajhta kya hai khud ko?

"Paise dete hai hum iss khaane ke. Aur vo bhi jarurat se jyada. Mere paise jhaad pe nahi uggte, baakiyo ka mujhe pata nahi" I shout at him and by now a crowd has gathered around us.

"Dekh. Khaana hai toh kha warna mat kha. Line mat rok ke rakh. Aage badh" he say arrogantly and I slap the plate in front of him and grab him by the collar.

"Bheek nahi maang raha tujhse jo aise baat kar raha hai" I say and his eyes go wide as he looks left and right in panic.

That's better.

"Viraj! Kya kar raha hai chhod usse" Rudra comes and pulls me away. "Oye niklo sab. Chalo show khatam ho gaya. Move" Tej shouts at them and the crowd scatters.

"Tujhe toh mai dekh lunga" I point a finger at that man again and Neel starts pulling me away.

"Abeyy kyu itna gussa kar raha hai bhai tu subah se" Joel says as I sit down on our table. I take a sip of water.

Mujhe khud nahi pata kyu itna gussa aa raha hai. Hamesha Aslesha laati thi mere liye tiffin. Aisa hai nahi ke mai ghatiya khana khaya nahi hu. Maa isse bhi worse khana banati hai.

Ugh what the hell!

"Mai ghar ja raha hu. Neel, coach ko bolna I'm not well" I say and leave.

I need to let this anger out somewhere. Warna mai sahi me aaj kisi ko maar dunga.

"Hey Viraj" I see Jay waving at me and he walks towards me. Could this day get any more worse? "Arre aaj Aashi nahi dikh rahi. Kahi dekha tu usse?" he asks and I clench my fists.

"Vo kaha rehti hai, kya karti hai.. sab mujhe puch ke nahi karti. Mai itna jaruri nahi hu uske life me ke vo mujhe apni saari khabar de. Toh sorry I don't know" I say and push him aside and leave.

Message kiya usse. Reply nahi. Call kiya. Uthayi nahi. Fucking hell!

I head straight to the gym. Mind divert ho jaayega waha work out se.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

I look at the half eaten pizza in front of me. Subah shaam pizza kha ke bore ho gaya mai toh. 9 bajj bhi gaye hai. Just then I get a call from maa.

"Hello maa" I answer the phone.

"Hello" she says and just by her voice I know something's wrong.

"Maa kya hua? Hearing me kya hua? Kab aaoge aap? Aur next date kab ki mili?" I ask her. Jyada hi sawaal puch liya.

"Abhi mai Reema aunty ke ghar ruki hu. Kal shaam ko aaungi flight se. Aur.. next hearing.. nahi hai" she says and I frown.

"Kya matlab?" I ask.

"Final hearing aaj hi ho gayi. Divorce ho gaya Viraj" she says and I almost drop the phone.

"Viraj? Hello?" she speaks and I gulp down the bile rising in my throat. "Haa maa. I'm right here" I say as my voice breaks.

"We had this coming beta. Aaj nahi toh kal hona hi tha. Thik hai aaj ho gaya toh. Baar baar Mumbai nahi jaana padega. It's over and done" she says and I know she's trying really hard to keep her voice neutral.

"Over and done" I repeat as a tear rolls down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly.

"Okay Veer, khana kha le sahi se. Kal 6 baje tak aa jaaungi mai. Good night" she whispers.

"Good night" I say and hang up.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

Naya chapter! Intense chapter! Aur jaldi update wala chapter! Aapki prayers ka bahot achha asar hua. Itna achha ke do din me hi naya update ready ki mai. Agla chapter isse bhi jyada intense hone wala hai. Aapke views chahiye ab. Neel ke baare me.. divorce ke baare me... viresha ke baare me. So vote and comment and ho sake toh share bhi karo.. ok bye ily :)