*Aslesha*

The most dreadful day is here. Monday.

Just last week I was thinking about how the Mondays have become better because of my friends and now I feel like not leaving home, staying locked up here. That'll be better than facing that.. that liar!

The way he used me, I feel like applauding him. Itni achhi acting koi kaise kar sakta hai? Actor bann jaana chahiye usse.

Usme aur Trisha me toh koi fark hi nahi hai. Made for each other they are. Kya pata break up kyu kiye? Ya shayad vo bhi fake tha.

My stage fear got vanished, thanks to him, but so did my belief in people. Aaj kal kisi pe bharosa nahi karna chahiye. Sab apne matlab ke liye jee rahe hai bass. Dusro ki feelings ki koi kadar nahi.

The worst part was that I fell into his trap so easily. His deed was good but the intentions behind it were so bad. But ek baat toh hai, I remained strong throughout these 2 days. I didn't cry at all. Why should I? He doesn't deserve it.

I look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a baggy yellow t-shirt above torn jeans. Hair tied up in a messy bun. Pari hates it when I show up like that. She calls it my 'homeless drug addict' look. Because that's how I'm looking right now. Who cares. I feel comfortable. Mai thodi kisi ko impress karne ja rahi hu.

I take my bag and leave for college, picking Pari in the way. She is excited about the trip to Neel's farmhouse for Rudra's birthday. The whole time she is talking about it.

I didn't tell her about my encounter with Viraj. I don't want her to worry about me. She looks so excited and happy with all the planning she is doing. If I tell her, she'll talk to Rudra about it, which will lead them to a fight. I don't want that.

I get to class where everyone is present, even him. I go and sit on my place quickly putting my earphones on so that nobody talks to me. I don't wanna talk to anyone.

I've not uttered a single word till lunch break, didn't even spare him a glance. I don't feel like looking at his face at all, side me baitha hai vohi jhela nahi ja raha.

During lunch break, everyone starts noticing the change in our behaviour. I can see them eyeing us curiously.

"Tum dono ka wapas jhagda hua kya?" Sid asks as I eat my sandwich which is completely tasteless.

I finally look at Viraj but just for a second as he does the same and we both look away. "Sab thik hai yaar. Hai na Aslesha?" he says with a fake smile.

"Of course. It's never been better" I say returning the smile. Everyone just awkwardly nods and get on with their conversation.

This is just like the first week of college. Even worse.

~•~•~•~•~•~•

This was the shittiest week of my life. It even crossed the level of first week of college in shittiness. I and Viraj didn't even utter a single word to each other. Nothing. Nada.

Just like when he first joined college. Everyone is irritated by our behaviour. But I have not bothered to tell anyone or explain to anyone what went wrong between us.

Kuch tha hi nahi actually galat hone ko. Sab toh natak tha. We act like strangers who just sit beside each other for 6 hours a day.

It's been a really long week. Har roz I just counted the minutes ke kab 5 bajenge aur kab mai uske side se uthungi. Aur har raat I prayed ke subah jaldi na ho.

Pari kept on asking me but I just shrugged the topic off always telling her that it's nothing.

Aur Pari ki baat kare toh now I'm sitting with her in the ground. Everyone is present except Majnu. We have decided to meet before college hours for this secret meeting.

It's his birthday tomorrow and Pari is in full swing to plan it. "I hope tumne apna muh nahi khola hai uske saamne" she says looking at Viraj and he rolls his eyes.

"For the 100th time Pari, I have not said anything to him" he says.

"Good. Sab ko apna muh band hi rakhna hai. Sabse pehle toh Neel ko thanks ke we're getting to arrange this party at his farmhouse" she says grinning at him and he just shrugs.

"Ok, so now the plan. We'll be going tomorrow and coming back on Sunday night. I hope ab tak sab logo ne apne ghar se permission le li hai" she says looking at us all and we nod.

"Tumne li kya? Sab ke ghar mil jaayegi permission but tumhare nahi" Sid says.

"Arre ha, mere side se sab set hai. Ab sab ke plans. Viraj, Joel, Shabnam and Aashi tum log decoration ka dekhoge" she says and we four nod our head like obedient students. She is seriously acting like our teacher.

"Aashi please khaane ka waha thoda dekh lena because waha aas paas koi restaurant vagera nahi hai. Aur yaha se le jaane me kharab hoga khana" Neel tells me and I nod.

"Ya right. Cake toh hum hi laayenge. Sid please cake laana bada sa, but it has to be from that cake shop which is downtown. Vohi se cake laana hai" she says looking sternly at him.

"Ok fine. Cake and daaru mai laaunga" Sid says and the boys chuckle.

"Maine sirf cake kaha" she glares at them.

"Ha vohi. Cake aur daaru" Sid says again and she shakes her head giving up on that idiot.

"Neel you've already arranged the house so I won't ask for your help" she says.

"Bach gaya" Chaddha mutters under his breath.

"So Neel, Joel, Shabnam, Sid, Viraj and Aashi will go tomorrow early morning to set up the whole house and stuff. Tum log jaldi ja ke decorate karoge ghar aur Aashi ko help karoge khaana banane me. And me, Saumya and Tej will meet Rudra tomorrow morning and tell him ke sab kahi na kahi busy hai toh sirf hum aa paaye, then we'll take him to a very bad restaurant for lunch and then when his mood is totally down ke uska birthday pura ghatiya gaya hai, that's when Saumya gets a call ke uski daadi ko heart attack aaya hai. Sorry Saumya and Saumya ki daadi. So we rush to where Neel's house is, telling him that's where their house is. And then when we reach.. dhan ta nan! Surprise!" She says and lets out a long breath.

The plan seems good. Bass Rudra ko pata na chale. "But I think decoration karne me itna sa time thik nahi rahega. 2-3 logo ko aaj hi chale jaana chahiye raat ko" Neel says as he looks at Viraj and then at me with a wierd look.

"Arre but that's not the pla.. ha ha! Jaana chahiye. Aaj raat ko koi jaao thoda ghar set karne" Pari says and looks at Chaddha with a small smile and then she looks at me and Viraj with that same weird look like him.

"Mai, Saumya aur Tej toh nahi jaa sakte" she says.

"Aur mai toh kal cake la raha hu so mai bhi nahi" Sid says supressing his smile.

"Tum log kya karne ki koshish kar rahe.." Viraj starts speaking but everyone acts like they didn't hear him.

Pari quickly looks at Joel and Shabnam. "Tum log bhi nahi ja sakte na. Joel bataa raha tha uska aaj family dinner hai jo bahot important hai. Hai na Joel?" Pari says looking at Joel and I start getting a hint about what's going on.

"Aur meri bhi mom mujhe aaj bhejegi nahi" Shabnam says looking innocent but I see the little smirk forming on her face.

"Guys mai bhi nahi..." Viraj starts speaking but Neel cuts him off this time. "Arree tu ja Veer. Tujhe toh sab pata hai usse kya kaise pasand hai, hai na? Viraj ja raha hai. Viraj ja raha hai" Neel says.

"Ha thik hai. Tere saath na? Aata hu" Viraj says looking at Chaddha angrily.

"Arre but mai toh cake la raha hu na" Neel replies.

"Cake Sid laa raha hai" Viraj snaps at him.

"Arre mujhe rasta nahi pata vo cake shop ka. Aur vo wine shop wala Neel ko jaanta hai na. Mai toh underage hu. Neel ko mil jaayegi daaru aaram se" Sid says.

Seriously? Ye Goa hai. Yaha toh daaru kisi ko bhi kaise bhi mil jaati hai. It's so obvious that they're lying.

"Aur tujhe leke jaana hi hai toh Aashi hai na. Vo aayegi tere saath, hai na Aashi?" Joel says patting my back.

"Nahi mai nahi ja sakti. No way!" I shout getting up as everyone gets up with me.

"Arre but tumhe khaane ki tayyari bhi karni hai na" Pari says.

"Mai kal ja ke bhi kar sakti hu subah tum logo ke saath" I say feeling like I need to smack everyone across their face.

Ye purposely kar rahe hai aisa. So that I and Viraj go alone. Do they think that we'll go there and sort out our differences? Boy they are so wrong!

Waha ja ke world war 3 hoga. Kya pata we destroy the whole house and set it on fire.

"Mai nahi jaaunga! Bass baat khatam" Viraj says as he puts his bag over his shoulder.

"Kaise dost ho tum Viraj? Rudra tumpe jaan chhidakta hai. And you can't do this much for him. Please yaar" Pari says making the best puppy dog face. She is an expert in that face. Nobody can deny her when she looks at them like that.

"Fine. But mai akele ja ke decoration kar lunga" he says.

"Thik hai tum akele decoration karna aur Aashi akele khane ki tayyari karegi" Pari grins and Viraj runs his hand through his hair getting furious by the second.

"I don't wanna go with her. Tum logo ke saath ye hoti hai toh fir bhi thik hai. But alone? Never!" he says looking at me like I'm some dirt stuck on his shoe.

I feel like slapping that look off his face. "Mujhe bhi tumhare saath akele time spend karne ka koi shauk nahi hai ok. Pari just change the plan. Koi aur chale jaayega" I tell her as I pick up my bag.

"Dekh liya aaj tum dono ko. You both hate each other more than you love Rudra. Tum dono se bhi kya expect kar li mai. Jaane do koi kuch mat karo, sirf party me aa jaao kal shaam ko. Mai sab arrange kar lungi" she says picking up her bag and starts walking away.

All the others glare at me and Viraj. Oh god!

"Ok fine! Fine I'll go" Viraj says and Pari stops and turns. Her eyes fall on me as I sigh. She is the worst best friend. "Me too" I mutter.

"Yes!" She shouts and comes hopping back to us grinning ear to ear. Drama queen! Ek minute pehle kaise bhaashan di aur ab dekho!

"Toh tum dono aaj hi lunch break ko half day le ke jaao na. Rudra ko bataa dena ke tum log ke last assignment me kuch problem hui toh ma'am ne tumhe wapas karne bola hai so you're going to do that in the library. Ok? Cool? Thanks, now lets go lectures shuru hone wale hai and Rudra bhi aa hi raha hoga" she says without hearing our reply and takes my hand and drags me with her.

I look back to see Viraj running his hand down his face. Viraj ke saath akele, vo bhi ek farmhouse pe, that's gonna be awkward.

Mai soch rahi thi ye week ganda tha but weekend toh usse bhi jyada bhayanak hoga. Bhagwan ji meri raksha karna.

*Viraj*

"Kaha ja rahe ho?" My mom comes inside my bedroom when she sees me packing.

"Bahar" I answer and she sighs heavily.

"Kab tak aise baat karoge tum mujhse?" She says and starts neatly folding the clothes that I've just dumped in my bag.

I don't say anything and she sits on my bed. "Maine papers sign kar diye".

I drop the charger from my hand at her words as I feel bile rising in my throat. For the past week, this pain that I feel in my chest is become a part of me. It's constant, not leaving me alone and I've got used to it. But still my heart squeezes when she mentions that she has finally signed the papers.

So our family will not be a family anymore. That's it? This is the end? It's official ke hum tootne wale hai.

"Kuch toh bolo Viraj" maa says when I don't say anything. "Kya bolu? Sorry? Congratulations? Mujhe kuch nahi samajh raha. Mai khud confused hu. Aap dono ko jaisa thik lage waisa karo" I say blankly as I remove two shirts from my cupboard.

Inme se kal konsa pehnu?

"The grey one" my mom says reading my mind and I keep the other one back and keep the grey shirt in the bag.

I go and sit beside her, putting my head on her shoulder as my eyes fill with tears. I love her so much. What would I do without her.

"I don't like seeing you hurt maa. I want you to be happy" I say as my voice becomes heavy.

"Meri baat dhyaan se sunna ab Viraj. Mai ye papers sign ki but unke liye nahi. Khud ke liye. I loved your dad. We had our very own beautiful love story. I've loved him since our college days. 25 saal kisi se pyaar karna koi chhoti baat nahi hai. And he loved me too. I know he did. But people sometimes change Viraj. Kabhi kabhi unhe kahi aur jyada khushi milti hai, ya unhe pehle ki chize ab utni pasand nahi aati. I don't know mere aur tumhare dad ke case me kya hua? But I guess humara saath idhar tak ka hi tha. I don't regret any moment with him. I know that it's his fault and I hate him for it. How could he do that to us? How could he abandon us? But I don't regret loving him. And honestly, bahot mushkil hai ye sehna. I'll never be able to just forget about him like that. I'll miss him and there'll always be that emptiness in my heart. But I'll try to be happy. For you. Because I have you and that's enough for me. Please don't hate me beta. Don't hate me for hoping that everything will be okay one day" she says and sniffs.

"Tumhare dad hamesha se hi aise the. Vo bahot jaldi chizo se bore ho jaate the. Kabhi unhe photographer banna tha toh kabhi scientist. Vo college ke music band me the. He was such a bully" maa says smiling through her tears and I know this story by heart but I don't stop her. Years and years I've listened to maa and dad repeat this story in their own versions.

"Aur mai journalism padh rahi thi. I had these thick glasses and I was a typical nerd. I remember how we met the first time. I had accidentally bumped into him and he, the asshole bully that he was, had shouted at me to pick up his books that I had accidentally dropped. I was just so awestruck looking at him. At those blue eyes of him. He was the most handsome person I'd ever seen. Toh maine unke books uthaye, jab ke meri galti nahi thi.. Aur agar aaj bhi aisa ho na, toh mai jhukungi aur books uthaaungi unke. I'll do it in a heartbeat without thinking. For him I will" she says and tears are streaming down her face continuously. I hug her not being able to control my own tears.

She's right. I can't hate her for loving dad so much. How can I expect her to forget him and hurt him when they've been together for 25 years. Dad ko mai kabhi nahi maaf karunga. But maa ka decision bhi mai kyu lu? Vo unki choice hai. Time will heal everything. Soon it will all be okay.

There will always be an emptiness, his place will never be replaced but hopefully time will make the pain decrease. Because it will never fully go away.

"I love you maa" I say blinking back my tears. "I love you too" she says.

She helps me pack my bag after that. Just when I'm about to leave she calls me.

"Viraj ek baat aur.. Mai itne mahino se saari galti dusro pe daali. Galti tumhare dad ki thi, but mai kabhi vo Sameera ko blame ki, kabhi unke office ke colleagues ko aur kabhi khud ko bhi. But ye sab se kuch faayda nahi hai, ye aaj nahi toh kal hona hi tha, hum Mumbai me rehte ya Goa me ya kahi aur. Ye hona hi tha. Toh isme sirf tumhare dad ko blame kiya ja sakta hai. Only him. Not even Aslesha" she says and I get this weird hollow feeling in my stomach like someone sucked the breath out of me.

Not even Aslesha.

"Maa.. vo.."

"Tumne uske saath galat kiya Viraj. Complain vo ki bhi toh kya hua? Tumne uske baal kaat diye the. It's bullying, assaulting. Tumhari galti thi. Abhi bhi hai. She is a really sweet girl. As I said, people change. Vo tabhi jaise thi waise hi abhi thodi rahegi. She's a better person now. So are you. Sort it out beta. I know you're hurting inside. But let me tell you she's hurting much more" maa says and I stand rooted in the spot.

"Now go late mat karo. She must be waiting. Have fun and be safe" she says.

I numbly walk out the door and get in maa's car. I remember how her face had crumpled when I told her I was using her. That was not true. I was just saying it to hurt her. I felt like she destroyed my life, like she's the reason that dad left us.

But I just targeted her to dump all my angriness upon. She didn't deserve it. Uss bichari ne kiya bhi kya tha? Mere liye vo apna stage fear bhulaa ke competition me part li. Aur jeeti bhi.

Meri dancing queen.

And to be honest, I missed her so fucking much. Her smile, my favourite dimple which I've not seen since so many days. It seems months. And those big brown eyes which light up when she laughs. Her stupid jokes and those typical desi words she uses that make me laugh so much. The food she makes, damn I missed that too. And the way she eats so much without a care in the world that she'll get fat. I missed her. The whole of her.

I'll talk with her and sort it out. I'm not sure whether she'll forgive me, or even listen to me. But I'll tell her my side of the story. What I did and why I did it.

I stop the car in front of the supermarket where we decided to meet. I was going to pick her up from here after she bought the groceries and stuff.

And yaha se we'll go together to the farmhouse. It's just me and her now. Time for some action!

~•~•~•~•~•~•

Early update! Next few chapters are gonna be amazing so be ready. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please vote and comment.. that makes me write more. Ok now I'm super tired so bye.. have a wonderful weekend.. Ily :)