Chapter 30 - "How badly did I screw up?"

Silence dominated the interior of the Mercedes. Donovan glanced over at Link, who stared unseeing out the window.

Link hadn't spoken at all that morning and hardly anything the night before. After a marathon of movies, Link had passed out on Donovan's couch. When Donovan had woken up that morning and walked out into his living room, Link was gone.

After getting ready, Donovan crossed over to Link's apartment. The moment he stepped inside and saw the worry on Monica's face, he knew Link wasn't doing any better. As if to prove this, Link had appeared from his room looking more rumpled than usual.

A heavy silence had invaded the apartment, no one addressing what had happened the previous day. Instead, Monica kissed Link on the cheek and Donovan had taken the spot at Link's side.

When Donovan swung the Mercedes into an open parking space and cut the engine, Link roused himself and blinked as if only then registering where he was. He turned his head back to Donovan, a lost, despondent look on his face. Donovan reached out and squeezed Link's shoulder, not saying a word. Link nodded and pushed open his door.

Upon entering the school, they were barraged with the chatter of students all too content with their lives or pretending to be so. From the  congestion, Maddy approached them, bouncing with happiness at seeing Link, still riding the elation from the party that weekend.

She moved into kiss him but Link shifted back, shrinking in on himself. Donovan understood, there was no way Link could explain why he looked ragged without lying. And to lie to someone who he had planned to tell his father about was too heavy to bear.

Maddy halted, her face crumpling in shock and hurt. Link shoved his hands into his pockets. "I have to get to class," he murmured and darted around her.

Donovan followed, glancing back to see Maddy standing frozen. In their classroom, Link split ways with Donovan and slide onto his stool, shoulders hunched. Letting out a breath, Donovan took his seat and dragged a hand through his hair, feeling helpless to alleviate Link's pain.

When Carter stepped through the doorway, Donovan met her gaze. She nodded to Link and Donovan shook his head in response. Frowning in concern, she crossed to her table and settled in next to Link. He didn't respond to her presence.

The second bell rang and Mr. Miller cleared his throat, about to talk when Mason entered the room. He walked to his desk, tailed by Smith. Link looked over and Donovan noticed how Link clenched his hands in reaction. Sympathy twisted in Donovan's chest.

Mr. Miller cleared his throat again and conversations died off in pieces. "Pop quiz."

Carter smiled at Link but he didn't return the look. He turned back to the front as Mr. Miller walked down the rows handing out tests. When Mr. Miller passed them, Link accepted the tests and gave one to Carter. Donovan watched as Carter leaned in close to Link, whispering. Their exchange was brief and ended with Link retreating into himself.

"Alright," Mr. Miller said, walking back towards his desk. "You may begin. When you're finished bring them up to me."

Donovan stared for another minute at Link before flipping over the test and quickly writing in the answers. The room filled with the sound of drumming eraser heads on desks, the scratching of pencils on paper and the tapping of anxious feet. The clocked seem to grow louder as the time wore on, grating on the nerves of students who didn't feel prepared.

Half an hour later, Donovan was reading a book when Carter stood. The sound of her chair grabbed everyone's attention for a second and got her looks of annoyance and jealousy. She walked up to the front and dropped her test on Mr. Miller's desk.

Picking up his own test, Donovan followed her path to the front of the room. She turned and smirked at him.

"What took you so long?" she asked.

He reached around her and laid his test on top of hers. There was a glint in her eyes that always spoke of a challenge, daring him to match her wits.

"Your writing is hard to decipher from such a distance. I think your answer to five lacked real thought."

She smiled and somehow it made Donovan want to stand there and memorize every detail of her face, her eyes, her lips. When her expression fell, he shook himself from his thoughts.

"What happened?" she asked, eyes flitting to Link.

Mr. Miller cleared his throat and gave them both a stern look. "Get back to your seats. The rest of the class still has to finish."

They returned to their spots and remained silent as the rest of the class slaved on. They exchanged glances every few minutes, but nothing more.

When the bell finally rang, Donovan stuffed his book into his bag and fell in behind the mass of departing students. Outside, he found Carter with a hand on Link's shoulder. Carter tilted her head back towards where Mason was striding off. Donovan noted Link's balled fists and understood. It was the worst day for interactions with Mason.

"Come on," he said.

His voice snapped Link out of his thoughts. He led the way to history, not saying a word. There was nothing to say in that moment that would take away years of hurt and rejection.

They were just outside the history door when Maddy edged forward.

"Hey," she said, giving Link a wide smile, as if she could counteract his gray mood.

Link managed a distracted nod and stepped into the classroom. Maddy's face fell. Her gaze jumped to Donovan and Carter for answers.

"He's having a bad day," Carter said.

This didn't seem to mollify Maddy. With tight lips, she turned into the room, looking close to tears. Donovan took a step forward, but Carter shot a hand out, the back of it pressed against his chest. For a split second, that was all he could think about, the feel of her hand, the way her fingers curled slightly. She turned to him and dropped her hand which helped break him from his moment of distraction.

"What's going on?" she said. "What happened this weekend?"

He gave her a steady look. "It's what didn't happen this weekend that is the problem."

Carter's shoulders sagged. "He didn't get to see him."

Donovan nodded.

"Do you know why?"

"All they told me was something came up. That is all."

Carter nodded, mouth tugged down in sympathy. "Has he been like this ever since?"

"Yes."

The bell rang and the last of the students mingling in the halls moved to their classrooms. Carter gave Donovan one last look before leading the way to their seats. Link sat at his desk behind Carter's, his face angled away from Maddy. In reaction, she stared straight ahead, not letting his inattention get to her. Donovan and Carter exchanged another look, sensing the storm that was building.

Mr. Philips stood up from his desk, bringing silence as he looked over the room.

"Continuing on with our study of Presidents and their administrations we move next to Bill Clinton, the 42nd President. Though there are many things that Clinton did to improve the country, what he is remembered for are his indiscretions." Mr. Philips started moving about, his face getting serious. "Which in a way is fitting, because Presidents are the embodiment of the country. They are held to a higher standard. For them to error is a reflection of the state of our government."

Carter raised her hand and he looked reluctant to acknowledge her. He paused behind his chair, gripping the back and gestured to her.

"Yes, Ms. Owens?" he said.

"You're saying that despite what Clinton did it's okay that he be forever remembered as an adulterous?"

Mr. Philips nodded. "He had a position to uphold and failed to do so. Anyone in his place should be held accountable for their actions and transgressions."

Mr. Philips's gaze flickered just past her shoulder, to the seat behind her, before returning to her. Donovan caught the glance and tensed. What did Philips know?

"Even if those actions don't effect the country and only play a role in their private life?" she asked.

"Yes, because no matter what they have done, when they hold a title with such honor and weight they should know that they could be exposed. Nothing can be kept a secret forever." He straightened. "Now, let's start off with Clinton's campaign and what means he took to be elected..."

***********

The bell rang and everyone stood, pulling on backpacks and picking up dropped conversations. Link slowly slid on his backpack as if exhausted with life. Maddy left, but  at the door had a change of heart. At the sight of Maddy waiting, Link paused.

"So," she said, the word clipped. "are you going to sit with me at lunch?"

Link dragged himself out of his thoughts and troubles to look at her confused. The expression came off more angry than he knew. Donovan inwardly sighed, knowing how this was going to end and it wasn't good.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Link asked.

A crackle of anger ignited in Maddy's eyes and her face become tight with annoyance.

"Why wouldn't you?" she said, everything about her saying she was gearing up for an argument.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Link said, puzzled. 

Maddy took a step forward, her mouth open and hot words burning her tongue. Before they had the chance to singe Link and cause serious damage, Carter stepped forward.

"Oh Link, I forgot, Mr. Miller wants to see you about that test," she said.

She grabbed Link's arm and spun him in the opposite direction. She twisted her head back.

"See you at lunch, Maddy. Save Link a seat," she called back.

Maddy stared after them, her anger melting away to tears.

"Hey," Donovan said, drawing Maddy's attention. "This has nothing to do with you. Link is dealing with some family issues. He doesn't know exactly how to handle it, but know that nothing has changed in your relationship."

"Oh," Maddy said, softening. "Is there anything I can do? He could have talked to me."

She glanced back at Link just as Carter was directing him around a corner.

"It takes time for him to open up. Give him some space and he'll come around."

"Of course. Anything he needs."

Donovan nodded and followed after Carter and Link. He found them in an empty hallway, sitting with their backs against a set of lockers. When he moved to join, Carter shook her head at him. Understanding, he ducked back around the corner and leaned on the wall. He listened but their voices were only a low murmur. Though it pained him not to be a part of the conversation, he trusted Carter to know what Link needed. Despite the hardened exterior, the girl had a heart for the lost and in need.

Donovan's phone dinged and he tugged it out of his pocket.

"Hey loser, I'm going to be in DC next week can I crash at your place or am I not good enough for Olympus?"

Smiling, Donovan replied to James's message. "Of course you can crash at my place. Even the gods entertained the whims of mortals from time to time."

From around the corner, Donovan could make out the conversation as it rose in volume.

"Crap, Maddy. How badly did I screw up?"

Donovan sighed. If Link was worried about Maddy it meant that Carter had gotten him past the pain of his father. For the time being at least.

"It won't be too bad," Carter said. "Apologize for being distance, tell her it was a bad day and then ask her out on a date for tomorrow. Not a double date."

Donovan paused, working out the logistics for a non-double date. He would have to tail Link.

"That will work?" Link asked.

"Yes."

"Thanks, Carter."

The softness in Link's tone told Donovan that there was more to it than simple advice on how to get back into his girlfriend's good graces.

Donovan glanced back at his phone as he heard their footsteps approaching. Though it was clear he would have overheard their conversation, he didn't want Link to feel uncomfortable about it.

"Let's go break the bad news to Donovan that he has to sit through another romantic movie." Donovan winced at the thought. "Maybe I'll help him out and go with him and shoot him to put him out of his misery."

At that Donovan felt his lips twitch while Link laughed. When they approached, he raised his head and fell into step with them.

"Link is going to ask Maddy out on a date,'" Carter said.

"That should help smooth things over," he said.

"I know," Carter said. "Have fun watching a wimpy girl do nothing for herself and rely entirely on the man."

"I will, since you are going with me. I accept your offer."

Carter rolled her eyes. "Should have known you were listening. What do you want to be shot with, a 9mm Glock 17 or 9mm Sig Sauer P226?"

Donovan just looked at her, his expression remaining unreadable, but only by sheer will. He wondered if this girl would ever stop taking him by surprise. And some part of him never wanted her to stop.

Carter smiled and shrugged. "Navy SEAL father, remember?"

As someone raised by a Marine, around Marines and to trained to be a Marine that was not something he was likely to forget.

They were passing by the front entrance when the doors opened and three men in black suits stepped inside. When Carter stopped, Donovan and Link looked back. Without explaining, she walked towards the men, in particular the one in the center with his arm in a sling. He was a man in his late thirties with close cropped brown hair, strong features and blue eyes that were too familiar. Before Carter even spoke, Donovan knew that this was her father.

"Captain," Carter said, "what are you doing here?"

At the title, Donovan was reminded of how he called his father Commander, but there was a note of affection in the way Carter spoke that Donovan had never used. For him, Commander was a title of honor and respect, not a light nickname.

Carter's father smiled and motioned with his good hand to his companions.

"Head to Principal Withers's office and I'll be right behind," he said.

The men nodded and walked away, their progress followed by Donovan and Link's gazes.
"I'm not here to deliver bad news," Carter's father said. "Everything is fine." Carter's shoulders relaxed and Donovan wondered what worry had crossed her mind at seeing her father at the school. When she glanced back at Link for a second, her father followed her gaze, then looked back at her. He spoke quieter making it hard for Donovan to pick up what he said.

They exchanged a brief back and forth, before Carter returned to Donovan and Link, bringing her father with her. Her father walked with a sense of authority that said he did not need to tell anyone he was in charge, it was simply a given fact.

"You must be Link," Carter's father said.

Donovan straightened, not only aware that this man would be considered his superior but he was Carter's father.

Link nodded and shot a look at Carter. Her father held out a hand.

"I'm agent Owens," he said. Link shook his hand. "It's a pleasure meeting you."

"Likewise."

Her father looked to Donovan. There was a steadiness in his gaze that Donovan felt trapped under as if this man could decipher a person's intentions with merely a single glance.

"Donovan, correct?" he said.

They shook hands, feeling the strength in the older man's grip.

"Yes, sir," Donovan said, falling back into old Marine habits. Carter's father had a bearing about him that made you want to stand at attention and check your uniform for any imperfections.

Carter's father nodded to him. "It's a pleasure meeting both of you."

He turned back to Carter and gave her a sideways hug. It was such an easy gesture, one that contradicted the Navy SEAL persona. Donovan couldn't remember if there was ever a time when his father had hugged him with such ease.

"I'll see you at home, Sarge."

Carter hugged him back and Donovan noticed how she held onto him for a second longer as if aware the moment was going to end too soon. After watching her father walk off, she looked back at Link and Donovan. Link smiled at her.

"You make a lot more sense now," he said.

Carter playfully punched Link's arm and Donovan silently agreed with the statement.

********

Donovan hung his keys on the hook by his apartment door and stared at the emptiness before him. Quiet pervaded every inch of the place and Donovan stood there feeling unable to change it. Music was the obvious solution, but there was something about it that always made him aware that he was trying to cover up the loneliness of the apartment. 

Having learned there was no way to fight it, Donovan dropped his bag onto the couch and picked up a rubber ball that sat on the coffee table. He squeezed it, working his hand. After a minute, he threw the ball at the opposite side of the room. It hit the floor bounced off the wall and returned to him. He repeated the action, the soft thumps of the ball working hard to bring sound to the place.

Donovan continued to throw the ball, scowling. Silence wasn't new to him. His apartment feeling too big, too empty wasn't new to him. But still he found himself weighed down by all three things.

Most days Link helped, talking about anything that came to mind while he played video games. But of late Link had chosen to hold up in his room, passing the time talking to Maddy on the phone. Today was no different. After Link and Maddy reunited over lunch, they had fallen back into how they were. Boyfriend and girlfriend.

Now Donovan was alone again.

When Donovan's phone rang, he answered, putting it on speaker and dropping it back on the couch.

"Yeah," he said.

"Hey," Clint said. "I wanted to check in on you and see how your day was."

Donovan threw the ball again. "It was great honey, how was your day? Are you picking up bacon?"

Clint didn't respond. Donovan sighed. Like their mother, Clint knew the power of silence and wielded it like weapon.

"Sorry," Donovan said. "I appreciate you calling."

"You want to explain to me what's going on?"

This time Donovan didn't respond. How did he explain that even though the quiet, the apartment, the loneliness was nothing new it was somehow worse than ever before. Nothing had changed, yet somehow it all had changed.

"You understand I'm not the gossip of the family, right?"

Donovan cracked a smile. "No, that's saved for the old lady named James."

Clint laughed at that. The sound crackled through the speaker and filled the apartment, easing some of Donovan's tension. The ball thumped against the wall and soared back to Donovan.

"You know Carter," Donovan said, keeping his tone causal.

"The girl at the new school you're friends with, right?"

"That's the one."

"What about her?"

Donovan caught the ball and sent it sailing. "I met her father today. The man was almost as terrifying as dad. He had vibe of 'if you cross a line with my daughter I will break you'."

"And have you thought about crossing a line with his daughter?"

The ball hit wrong on the floor and veered off. "What? No. It's simply a feeling I got from him."

Clint's silence was a knife, jabbing at Donovan, poking at him to talk. Donovan retrieved the ball and sank onto the couch, throwing it again. He had no intention of filling the silence, knowing there was too much he could give away. The brothers remained that way until the topic was packed away.

"Donovan, it's okay to have a life," Clint said.

Donovan dropped his head back, gripping the ball. The image of Carter and her challenging smile flashed in his mind. He sighed. "Sometimes it doesn't feel like that."

**********************************************************************

BOOM! 💥
(There's a Hamilton song that starts with that or has it in it and I can't remember it at this moment.)

What did you think? 💭🗯💬

Someone asked for this awhile back and I complied, now please can I be release? I did everything you asked for. My family misses me and I haven't had ice cream in forever.

I find it interesting how silence is such a big think in this book as well as in A Secret Service. It's a what causes tension between Carter and her father. It's how Donovan gets Carter to talk. It's what Donovan lives with and feels so heavily. I don't think I realized how much of a thing it was until now. Strange. Still learning things about my own books.

If you were going to ask for another Classified chapter or one shot what would you're request be?

Vote , comment, follow because gosh dang it the country needs you!

(Okay, I don't know what I'm saying just ignore me)

(Yeah, I hear you saying 'HA! I do that already' and I take offense.)

Random side note I found someone who fits Carter even better than Zendaya because she has the lighter eyes.
Here she is.

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