I walked onto the gypsy park and looked around. I was not fitting in to the park and feeling like a pariah. The men were looking me up and down and as were the women but with dirty looks. 

I took the piece of parchment out of my coat pocket and looked at the number of the caravan because I could just not see it. I looked around nervous to find someone. There was a woman that I recognised from John and Esme's wedding. I walked over to her.

"Hello." I smiled and she looked at me like I was a stranger. "Oh I am sorry to interrupt but we met at John and Esme's wedding." I explained as I placed the piece of parchment with my mothers information on it back in my coat pocket.

"Ah yes, what can I help you with love?" She asked me as she pulled out a chair, she was sitting outside of a caravan washing clothes in a wash basin.

"I am looking for Roma Holland." I answered her as I sat down on the chair. The woman looked at my weirdly. 

"She is me." She replied and I realised that I had been speaking to my birth mother. I had seen her before, I had spoken to before. "What can I do for you?" Roma asked me and I froze. My hands were shaking, I was sick to my stomach. "Love, you are going to need to speak to me." Roma replied.

"I am your daughter!" I shouted nervously as I stood up. Roma dropped the wet clothes she was washing into the wash basin. She stood up and glared at me.

"I do not have a daughter, never had one." Roma hissed at me before she walked into the caravan and slammed the door. The gypsies were all looking at me as I looked at the closed caravan door. 

My mother did not want me, nobody wanted me anymore. I was all alone. 

___

"Hello boys." I smirked as I walked up to Tommy and Arthur, we had a job to do. I decided just to forget about Roma. I put on my best dress and shoes, my hair was styled to perfection. I had done my makeup to some extent and I walked up to the boys with such confidence. 

Tommy looked at me the way he did when I told him I loved him. I never thought I would see that look again. I thought it was locked in the vault. 

"Clara you look beautiful." Tommy admitted and surprisingly that felt good to hear. But I also think he just said that on the hope that I would fuck him. 

"Awe thank you." I smiled back at him as I looked down at my dress. I was brushing it off like it was nothing but it was something. "I have not dressed up in so long. I just found it in the back of my closest." I shrugged, I had always wanted to play that kind of girl. "What does Polly think of it all?" I asked changing the subject. I had a feeling Polly was not going to like it. 

"You know she's against this, Tom." Arthur stated as John walked over to us. 

"She's got opinions." John replied.

"Nothing wrong with opinions, John." Tommy answered. 

"Get in the fucking car." Arthur barked and John opened up the door for me as the two of us got into the back. 

"Shut up!" John growled back. 

"Right! The Peaky Blinders are going on fucking holiday!" Arthur shouted and I laughed as Tommy started driving. 

"Sit down, you mad bastard." John laughed, it was all good between us now. Turns out I was paranoid over nothing. 

___

"Much obliged." I smirked at the man as he took my jacket from me. We were walking into a jazz club kind of thing, I had been to a couple back at new york but nothing as grand as this. 

"It's a fucking freak show." Arthur exclaimed as we walked past people, kissing, dancing, doing cocaine all sorts. I was loving the music.  "What the fuck is that racket?" Arthur asked confused, the boys seemed so out of place but I feel like I fit right in with my silky long emerald dress and black heels. My hair was pinned back at one side and the girls came down the other, the were big and bouncy. I had red lips and eyeliner on. 

"This is what they call music these days, brother." Tommy smirked and Arthur looked shocked.

"I quite like it. God dancing at these things were amazing." I grinned nostalgically as the boys walked up to a table. It was perfect, in the middle, we could see everything. But there was two people passionately making out. 

"Oi! Oi! Put it away." Thomas shouted and the couple were not moving. 

"Fuck off!" Arthur screamed before he stressfully looked at everyone dancing. The couple scared to death ran off and we all took a seat. 

"Fucking look at this spot, eh? It's all right, isn't it?" Tommy asked proud of himself. A fine gentleman was walking our way. I gave him a flirtatious smirk, I was over Tommy- remember?  

He was walking straight up to me and I felt sorry for the poor guy. He had John and Tommy staring him down. Arthur was too busy walking all tensed in a circle kind of. 

"Excuse me miss, but what you like to dance?" He asked me as he held out a hand for me. I was away to take it happily but both John and Tommy had to interrupt.

"She has to decline." Tommy smirked wickedly. I looked at him confused, as to why.

"She is working right now, if you know what I mean." John lied and I as in complete shock. He practically called me a prostitute. "I heard she had the clap." John 'muttered', he practically shouted it. The fine gentleman scurried off.

"John and Thomas Shelby, I am going to kill-" I began to scream angrily before Tommy began speaking to the waiter and ignoring me. Me of all people.

"Irish whisky - a bottle." Tommy ordered and Arthur walked up to him. 

"And hurry up!" Arthur screamed before he sat down beside me at the table. "Fucking hell, I recognise a few of these lads. That's Sabini's cousin, over there." Arthur continued and I looked over at the gentleman. 

"That's right, Arthur, it's Sabini's club." Tommy replied and I just glared at John and Tommy. I swear to god every time I went out with them I had the bloody clap. 

"Jesus Christ, everybody in here's a fucking face." John stated and it was so intriguing to see how the Shelby brothers were coping in this environment. 

"Just the lieutenants, John." Tommy replied as the head of the club management walked up to us. He rested his arms on two chairs, I smiled at him politely. 

"Gentlemen, lady , there's been a mistake. I'm afraid you're going to have to leave." He explained and boy did he make a bad mistake. 

"We just bought a fucking bottle." Tommy spat back and I sat back to watch the show. 

"Some of the men here recognise you from the racetracks in the north." The man explained and I looked around, people were looking at us. 

"Yeah, we get that a lot." Arthur shrugged off like it was nothing. 

"They say you have no business coming south of the line without prior agreement." The man explained and Tommy raised an eyebrow. 

"And what line would that be, my friend?" He asked him in a challenging tone. 

"They say this is provocation." The gentleman answered.

"Right, well, you tell them we're on holiday." Arthur exclaimed and I decided to step in. I was the class that they needed. 

"Arthur, boys let me deal with this shall I?" I asked them in my sweet posh voice that I would put on in times like these. 

"Please." Tommy sighed. 

"I am so sorry mister, you see my mother Dana Baker she is great friends with Mrs Sabini and I would hate to tell my mother about this convince." I explained as I pointed over to Mr Sabini's cousin. 

"Tell her all you like Miss Baker. You're breaking the rules. They say you are the Peaky Blinders." The man replied in a snarky tone and before I knew it world war two was bloody happening! The peaky blinders were blinding people, punching people blah blah blah. 

Then some man had the courage to slap me across the face. I held my face as I glared at him. I brought out my gun and shot him in the lower leg so it would not kill him or cause significant damage. I was sick of taking peoples lives, I have always had an extreme distaste towards it.

"Who the fuck's next?" I shouted angrily as I held up the gun. Nobody bothered to come near me as the man scrambled off. I guess he was my warning, I placed my gun back where I found it too see the boys has almost done fighting. 

I waited and waited and waited and, you know what is coming, waited. Once they were done we walked up the stairs. I say the man who thought it had the clap, I decided to have some fun while I was still young. 

I walked up to him as crashed my lips onto his. It was not the best kiss, I have had better like Tommy for example. Just as an example, nothing more.

"Be careful, you might you know." I smirked at him wickedly before I walked off. I knew it was bad but I just wanted to have some trickery fun. I was going to feel bad about it in the morning, though. 

"We came here not to make enemies. No!" Tommy said to everyone as I saw John kissing a girl. He was married, I was shocked. I grabbed him by the ear and dragged him over to where Tommy was. "We came here to make new friends. Those of you who are last will soon be first. And those of you who are downtrodden will rise up. You know where to find us." Tommy continued before we walked out.

I took my jacket and Tommy helped me put it on, not that I was incapable but apparently it was the polite thing to do. Social expectations might be a splendid way to put it, I guess. 

"I think I've lost a tooth. I'll have none left at this rate! Some fucking holiday this is."  Arthur barked and I giggled softly as I walked quite close to Tommy. 

"You all right without your fucking medicine, Arthur?" John asked because Arthur was acting more violent and rough, well more than usual. 

"Here, this'll fix you." Tommy replied as he handed something to Arthur. 

"Give me that!" Arthur demanded and Tommy handed the liquor to him. 

 "You, John boy eh? How are you?" I asked him sweetly, changing the subject.

"Or should I ask your fucking wife?" Tommy smirked and I rolled my eyes. They were making fun of poor lovely Esme. I nudged him the side to stop. 

"Oh, give over! No more talk of chickens, do you hear me? Fuck the chickens. I've 50 quid in me pocket." John exclaimed happily as he showed everyone the money. "Let's paint the town, eh?" He smirked at his brothers and I. I decided to not go and I called up a taxi.

"Clara, aren't you coming?" Tommy asked me confused and I shook my head. I could not actually tell if he wanted his ex girlfriend to be there. 

"I need to see Roma but you boys have fun." I smiled at them all politely. 

"But Polly has Roma." Tommy argued and that was males for you. A child needed love and care from their parents twenty four seven I believe. 

"I am a mother who is attached, I need to see my daughter. Paint the town just do not get killed." I smirked as I jumped into a taxi that was coming my way. "Small Heath, please." I smiled at the taxi driver before he drove off. 

___

I was sitting in my newly bought apartment. It was one bedroom, dark and gloomy. But for now it was home for Roma and I. She was happily sleeping and I was unpacking some boxes with newspaper wrapped nic-nacs. 

There was a knock on my door and I wondered who it could be at this time. The only person who knew my address was Polly. I grabbed my gun as I walked up to the door. It was really late so I believed it was trouble. I opened the door up fast and pointed the gun at the person behind the door. 

"Why are you back Clara?" Tommy asked me bluntly as he looked down the barrel of my gun.

"Jesus Tommy." I whispered scared as I placed the gun on the table. I opened up the door wide enough so he could come in. 

"Why are you back Clara?" Tommy asked me again in a more softer tone because he could see that the baby was sleeping. 

"As I have told everyone so you can meet your daughter. I have came to the conclusion that it was selfish of me to not tell you." I answered honestly as I shut the door. I do not understand why nobody believed that story. "How did you find out where I live?" I asked him confused as I placed a photo of Roma and I on the counter. A professional photographer did it for free because he found Roma cute. 

"Polly told me."  Tommy answered bluntly and that was likely.  "So you are not here to see your birth mother?" Tommy asked me and I looked at him shocked. I did not think he would hear about that, ever.

"How did you find out about that?" I asked him as I leaned on my kitchen drawer. 

"Polly." He answered again carelessly as he walked closer to me. I sighed, Polly could not keep her mouth shut.

"Figures." I muttered annoyed I placed a heavier box on top of the kitchen counter.

"Did you meet her?" Tommy asked me and I was not really in the mood for talking about my failed attempts of a relationship with my birth mother. 

"Yes I did, it was a very pleasant time. Loved every minute of it." I grinned at him but he could tell I was lying. Tommy knew me inside and out like I did him. 

"What happened?" Tommy asked sympathetically as he edged his way closer to me. He was using emotions, I thought he had none to be honest with you. Well after me, I thought he just turned his humanity off. Maybe it was Roma or maybe he had found love with a different girl.

I guess I could be happy if he did that. Tommy can move on if he chooses. But I guess I would love if he was single, you know. It might sound greedy of me but it was the honest truth. Maybe I could see Tommy and I together in the future, or maybe it was just the rum I had been drinking. Or maybe it was the overwhelming emotions of Roma meeting her father for the first time ever. 

"She told me she did not want me." I answered honestly and I did not want to cry in front of Tommy so I just shrugged it off like it was nothing. But it was something. "It's okay though I have my baby girl." I added honestly, grinning widely as I looked through the other boxes of nic-nacs. 

"You do." He replied honestly and I knew this was a perfect time to allow Tommy to bond with Roma. 

"Would you like to hold her?" I asked him happily, he looked so excited really. I really think that Tommy had taking a liking to Roma and that was all I wanted. 

"Yeah." He answered and I nodded my head gladly because I had no problem with it. I honestly did not. Some mothers would want their children all to themselves but not me. 

"Sit down on that chair and I will bring her over." I instructed as I made my way over to Roma. When she heard me she opened up her tiny little eyes. "Sitting?" I asked him as I picked up Roma. 

"Yes." Tommy answered as I walked over to him. I gave him Roma and he held onto her tightly. He was so careful with her, I had never seen him like that before. 

"She is beautiful." Tommy blurted out as he was captivated with his daughter. I think that Roma was mending his broken heart piece by piece. She was doing something that nobody was capable of doing, until now. 

"She has your eyes and your smile. I think she has my personality because she is quite a feisty girl. Also, she feels safe next to a gun so I think she might get that from the both-" I began to explain as I started to unpack some more things. But as I turned around I saw Tommy sleeping on the armchair with Roma in his arms. It was just such a beautiful picture. I made me over to them with a blanket and careful placed it over them. "Good night." I smiled before I kissed Roma on the forehead.

I looked at them happy before I went back to unpacking. That moment made me realise the life that I could have had if I never left and if Tommy and I never got into the fight. 

+++

like? love? hate? 

what do you guys think of Clara's new persona type thing? Do you think she will stay like that or integrate back to her normal Clara? Do you think Clara and her real mother will have a relationship? Do you guys also think that Clara's adoptive parents will come into the picture once they find out they are grandparents? Tell me in the comments down below.

hope you are all enjoying the story and are looking forward for more,

Mrs N O'Brien xx