Dear Roma,

I am writing to you on the basis of the over whelming emotions around me. I want us to get to know one another, I want to get to know my father, if he is still here. I want to know if my name is actually Clara or if you named me that and why? I am wanting all these things and I can't help imagine what you are feeling. I know that you are wondering things about me, it's human nature. So I shall tell you,

I am a mother to Roma Shelby, she is almost nine months. She has her fathers eyes and my personality, also my dark hair that I seemed to inherit from you. I am an ex-nurse and agent to the crown. I am single and unmarried. My favourite colour is orange, like the sunset. 

Currently, I work for Shelby Brothers Limited. That might lead to questions but I can only answer one of them, Thomas Shelby is the father to my child. She is named after you and was born in America. I am aspiring to be a writer, I have wrote a couple of stories that I hid from the world. However, I would love to share them with you.

Now, moving onto my childhood. It was rich, elegant but not me. None of it was me, I did not fit in I was a pariah in my own 'home'. I was kicked out of the house at nineteen after my parents found out I was arrested for chaining myself up to the gate of the Parliament. I finally found myself when I came to Birmingham and met the Peaky Blinders. 

But I want to know more about you. I want us to meet in person, I want you to meet my daughter and your granddaughter. 

Yours Truly,

Clara Baker.

I carefully wrote my address under my name on the piece of paper. Then I carefully slipped it into the envelope before I sealed it by licking the outside of the folding piece. I placed it on the bedside table before I turned around to see Tommy lying on my bed asleep. 

I did not know what to feel, or how I was feeling. I had just spent a night with Tommy even though I had sworn off of him. I had, I truly had. But then, it is difficult to really say goodbye to Tommy, to really leave him. He did it again, he brought me back into his spiralling clutches. 

I looked down at Tommy to see him slowly awakening and then Roma started to cry in her coat. I sighed before I threw on Tommy's shirt that was lying beside me. I walked into her room and picked her up.

"Shush, mummy's hear now." I whispered in a sweet voice as I cradled her. I slowly and carefully walked into my bedroom, Tommy was awake and sitting up.

"I have to go, we have business in two hours. Meet me and the boys at the Garrison." Tommy explained as he got out of my bed and began to gather his things. I looked at him confused, did he just use me. 

"Is this a joke?" I asked Tommy as I watched him slip on his trousers. He was just going to leave me here, I thought I meant something to him.

"You said that nothing would change." Tommy replied as he walked closer to me. He was right, I did say that. "This was just a meaningless fuck." Tommy added and that did hurt. I held back the tears as I nodded my head.

"I guess I will see you at the Garrison." I stated bluntly and then I realised I was wearing Tommy's shirt. I sighed before I practically did the walk of shame to my pyjamas. I handed him Roma before I got changed into some pyjamas and handed Tommy is shirt back. 

"Two hours." Tommy instructed before he said a sweet goodbye to Roma. He smirked at me before he walked out. 

He was so incapable of loving, and I could not believe that I fell for him and his moves again. I was still falling for him, after all these years, self talks and preparation. 

___

We got back from the Garrison and Tommy had just hired 'Digbeth Kid' to do some illegal betting job that would result in him being thrown into jail. 

I watched John and Arthur make fun off him in front of us as we walked into the house. Roma was with Esme because when I do work that I do not want her to be around Esme said that she would take him. 

"'Run for the hills! 'It's the Digbeth Kid!'" John mocked as he pointed his gun at Arthur. I giggled slightly at their childish behaviour. 

"Get out of town, kid, or I'll shoot your fucking head off! Times up!" Arthur exclaimed as I saw Polly and Michael. "You're dead, go down. John!" Arthur hissed confused, John was staring at the new boy and Polly. 

"All right then, Polly. Who's this?" John asked as Arthur slowly turned around to face the baby faced Michael. 

 "Gentlemen, this is your cousin. Polly's son, Michael." Tommy introduced as Michael walked up to them and shook their hands. Arthur and John introduced themselves.  "You've already met me and Clara." Tommy added and I smiled at him sweetly. 

"I used to throw you out of the window so John could catch you." Arthur said awkwardly, obviously feeling guilty. 

"I used to put you in a shoebox and kick you down Watery Lane." John admitted as he took off his cap. 

"You two are just the sweetest." I grinned at them sarcastically and Michael was just smiling, his happiness was radiating off of him. 

"I bet you're glad to be back." Tommy joked, yes you did read correctly 'joked'. 

"I don't remember any of it. All I remember is the day they took me away." Michael admitted and I gave him a comforting look, I knew how he was feeling right now. But at least he had a better outcome then I did. 

"Well, you're here now, Michael." I added making him feel right at home. 

"Welcome to the Shelby family." Tommy smirked as he patted him on the back. 

"Later on, we'll show you the ropes." Arthur explained and John nodded his head as he put his cap back on. 

"Yeah, we'll show you what's what." He added and Polly gave Tommy and I a uncomforting look. 

"Let's leave him be for now, eh?" Tommy asked the boys so they would not overwhelm their baby cousin. 

"Come on, eh?" I said as we started to walk out.

"Nice suit." Arthur teased and all the boys just chuckled slightly. 

"Leave him alone." I laughed as we continued to walk out of the room, leaving Polly and Michael alone. 

___

Tommy and I were walking to the Garrison to do some business. Then Michael ran up to us. 

"Tommy, I need to use the telephone. Polly said you had one in the pub." Michael asked and I nodded my head.

"All right, be quick. I have business." Tommy replied as we walked into the Garrison. 

"Polly said you own this place. She said you own lots of different businesses." Michael stated starting up a conversation as we walked into the back room. 

"You call her Polly or Mum?" Tommy asked Michael. 

"I can't get used to calling her Mum yet." Michael admitted and I knew how he felt. He was confused and disoriented in the life he could have had. 

"Who are you calling?" I asked him curious. 

"My mother. I mean..." Michael stated very awkwardly and I placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"We know what you mean." I smiled at him sweetly and comfortingly. I swear that was all I did around that kid. 

"And what are you going to tell her?" Tommy asked as Michael sat down and I shut the door behind us. 

"I'm going to tell her where I am." Michael answered. 

"And now you're going to tell her you're going home." Tommy stated and I sighed a little. Michael did not want that. 

"Polly said I could stay for a few days." Michael replied in his thick accent, almost as thick as Tommy's. 

"You want to stay?" I asked him kind of glad because that was what he needed. Polly. And Polly needed him. 

"I've only just arrived." Michael smirked at me smugly. Sadly, I knew I had to agree with Tommy, he was my boss and all. Nothing more, apparently. 

"What age are you, Michael? Up to you, right?" Tommy asked him intrigued. 

"I'm 18 in a few weeks. I make up my own mind." Michael answered confidently and passionately. 

"You smoke?" I asked him and Michael shook his head. "Drink?" I asked him and he stayed quiet. Maybe it was guilt or maybe he just did not want to speak to me. 

"You're going to call your mother and tell her you're getting the next train home. When you get there, you're going to write a letter to Polly saying when you're 18 you'll come back here and sort things out." Tommy instructed but Michael was not having it. 

"I just told you. I make up my own mind." Michael repeated in a strong voice. I raised my eyebrow. 

"Do you know what we do, Michael? We Shelbys?" Tommy as Michael in a warning fashion. 

"Yes. I think I know what you do." Michael answered, he was strong and confident just like a Shelby. 

"Yeah. You've got smart eyes. But you're young, so you think what we do is all right. It's not all right. People get hurt." Tommy explained and that was honestly making me reconsider everything that I did, but I loved it at the same time. 

"Now call your mother and we will drive you to the station." I added in a sweet, innocent, motherly tone but Michael was not having it. 

"No." Michael stated in a stern tone and both Tommy and I were taken a back by it. "In my village, there's this little wishing well. It's made of white bricks, right in the middle of the village green. Everybody says how pretty it is." Michael started to say and I smiled. "But I swear to God, if I spend another day in that village, I'm going to blow it up with dynamite." He hissed and I looked at him shocked. He was definitely a Shelby. "Probably blow my hands off with it but it'd be worth it. Just to see all those pretty white bricks spread all over the pretty village green." He continued and Tommy nodded his head. 

"Yep. You're Polly's son all right." Tommy smirked and Michael just looked smug. There was something about him that I just could not grasp. But I decided to ignore it for Polly's sake. 

___

I was sitting on my armchair in the living room as I continued to write my story, I was still watching Roma playing with her toys on the floor. Suddenly someone walked into the living room. I stood up and pointed the gun at them, then I realised it was Tommy. 

"You've got a key?" I asked him annoyed as I kept the gun pointed at him. I was still in a mood with him so I was tempting shooting him, but obviously I could never do it. 

"I kept a spare." Tommy answered and I sighed. 

"Give it to me." I ordered as he walked towards me. He placed the key on the table and I sat the gun down on the table. 

"Could do with some pictures, eh?" Tommy asked as I sat down opposite him, sliding my story under the chair so nobody could see it or read it. 

"Yeah. When I decide." I answered. "What is it that you want, Tommy?" I asked him curious as I looked over at Roma to make sure she was still playing. The girl was so inquisitive that she would just run away if she could. 

"Just came by to say hello, see Roma." Tommy answered but I knew he was lying. 

"Tommy Shelby never goes anywhere for no reason." I replied in a challenging tone and Tommy sighed in defeat. 

"Fine. I've got £800 left in the Shelby property fund and I need someone down here to look for suitable properties." Tommy explained and I raised an eyebrow at him. I knew this kind of sleezebag move. 

"To rent?" I asked him. 

"Yes." He nodded his head in response. 

"To poor people. Ten to a room. No repairs, no water. And if they complain, you just send Arthur and the boys round, eh?" I asked him and he stayed quiet. I was right. "I give advice down at the market. Families thrown onto the street. It's men like you there fighting." I explained angrily. Tommy just looked frustrated. 

"Well, anyway, I was just passing, thanks for the tea." Tommy muttered sarcastically as he stood up and began to walk out. 

"Tommy." I called after him and he turned around to look at me. 

"Yes." He answered as I walked a little forward towards him. 

"We never spoke about what that night meant to us." I explained and Tommy nodded his head. 

"Cheerio then." Tommy stated raising his brows before he started to walk around. I held onto his hand so he would not leave. 

"Tommy Shelby, you need to give me something I can work with. I can not deal with this cold exterior you have." I explained in a pleading tone because I needed him to really know how I felt. Tommy kissed me and I felt the sparks again, we slowly pulled away.  

"As I said, Cheerio then." Tommy smirked before he walked off. I followed him out so I closed the door as he left. I slid down the door happily and excitably.

I think that meant good things, I hope that meant good things.