~M~

In that moment when Alec left the room, there were only four people I hated in this world. I was blinded by anger that they could cause Alec to run away with such sadness in his eyes. Clary, Jace, Simon, and Isabelle had just stood there naively and claimed that it was my doing.

It was all theirs.

I flung myself outside, looking around with a panicked expression. I ran until I found him and find him I did. The alleyway was not far from the restaurant and was completely surrounded by cracked adobe bricks, uncommon to find in even America.

Alec was huddled, his knees to his chest as he let the tears fall freely onto his cheeks. Until then, I hadn't realised just how upset he was. I couldn't help but feel, in that moment alone, that maybe I was to blame.

He couldn't have been so upset just because of his friends, could he? I couldn't decipher his thoughts. Even as a warlock, I had no ability to see into another's mind.

'Alec?' I called out, giving him a pitying smile- a bad choice. He looked up at me and a raspy sob escaped him.

'Alec, it's alright.' I soothed, approaching him carefully. I got close enough to touch him but he flinched away.

'Don't.' He growled, scuttling away. A wave of pain washed over me but I remained quiet for a few seconds to let him calm down.

'You need to tell me what happened to cause this, Alec. I know that you aren't ready to tell them yet but what caused...this.' I motioned to him, leaning in. I wiped the tears from his cheeks and this time he let me.

He shook his head when I pulled away. 'I'm a failure.' He cried, another few tears rolling down his cheeks.

'What?' I asked, thinking I had misheard. I hated the idea that he would call himself such things. I wanted Alec to love himself for all that he was because he was beautiful and I hadn't remembered a time when I had fallen so quickly for a man or a woman- and a shadowhunter no less. 

'I'm weak and a coward, Magnus. I want to tell them about you... but I can't! I'm weak. How am I supposed to fight demons, be a shadowhunter when I can't even tell those around me what my own sexuality is.' Another weak sob escaped Alec's throat as I brought him into my arms for a careful embrace.

'Alec,' I began in the calmest, soothing voice I could muster, 'you are the bravest man I know. Coming out is never easy, impossible sometimes but-' I cut myself off, I couldn't admit it, not yet. I couldn't utter those three words that could drive him away. I couldn't utter those words the meant that this relationship was real.

'You're amazing.' I smiled, bringing him out of my arms and letting my palm cup his cheek. 'You protect others over yourself. I haven't known you for long-' I laughed. 'Well, I've known you for about a day...' I laughed harder watching his lips quirk up. 'But I can see it. You care about others so much that it's fine to keep this thing to yourself just this once and when you're ready, you will say it with pride.' 

I wanted so desperately to utter those words then and there but, as I said, I had known him for a day- maybe just more. We had rushed this so much. We were a burning flame that I never wanted to extinguish. But, this had happened before and I didn't want it to happen again.

I didn't want Alec to be a fling, a one off. I wanted to fall for him, I wanted to love him and I wanted to be with him until the end of his days- and maybe even mine. That was why I couldn't utter those words. I was too selfish in this relationship to say those words, too afraid.

'You are not a coward.' I repeated. 'You're amazing.' Alec's gaze caught mine and his face lit up, as did mine. He frantically stood, pulling me with him and smashed his lips to mine. He kissed me with so much passion that I almost backed away but I didn't. This was too perfect to back away from.

I felt butterflies in my stomach again. This was the shy, nervous Alec kissing me- kissing me like there was no tomorrow. It seemed that every hour I was learning something new about this kid and I loved it.

I pushed him up against the wall, deepening the kiss, moaning in pure ecstasy. That was the worst timing of my life because, at that moment, someone cleared their throat from the end of the alleyway.

Alec and I rushed away and paused before glancing at who was there. Isabelle. I shot her a glare that was worthy as a weapon. There I was, making Alec happy and his idiotic, naive sister just had to interrupt.

Alec winced when he saw her, his cheeks blushing red. I could only assume that she knew, I saw no fear- only embarrassment. Maybe she didn't know about us but she sure as hell knew who he preferred in the gender department.

Silence fell that was interrupted after seconds. A smile twitched on her lips and grew just as large as Alec's was only seconds ago. 'I knew it!' She squealed, making both me and Alec flinch. 'Alec has a boyfriend!' The pitch was high enough to rip my eardrums but I shook it off with a silent laugh, my shoulders shaking slightly.

I was glad to see Alec smiling again when I glanced over. It was clear that this was the reaction had hoped for and although he hadn't expected this, I could see he was over the moon- though his blush told a different story.

Isabelle slammed herself against Alec as if she were a tonne of bricks and hugged him so hard that I could practically see his lungs being crushed. I laughed again, making no move to help, reveling in Alec's slowly reddening face- at this rate it would reach purple.

I began to walk away, looking back to Izzy and Alec who were both stood silence. 'See you soon.' I winked and headed back to my apartment, happier than I had been in a while.

~A~

I stared incredulously at Izzy. Have I got a boyfriend? I have a boyfriend. I couldn't believe it. And, most of all, my boyfriend was Magnus Bane- the high warlock of Brooklyn! My shocked expression faded to one of embarrassment as I reigned my emotions in and took a step back from Isabelle.

I could feel the heavy blush on my cheeks as if it were a burn. Then the realisation dawned on me. 'Isabelle, you can't tell anyone of this.' I panicked, my eyes wide and my thoughts wandering to all the worst possible scenarios. 

She sighed, her smile dimming, but nodded, understanding why I had asked this of her. 'Come on, you need to come back. The others were wondering where you went. Be prepared to lie, though, Alec. If you're not going to tell them you will only have to tell more lies.' She warned, looking up at me with pleading eyes. But, I shook my head. I would only say when I was ready- even if I didn't know when that was.

She led me back into Taki's and towards their booth just behind the one I had been sitting in a while before. I sat down in a daze, unaware of what was happening around me as my mind brought itself to the topic of Magnus- again.

I was falling, hard and there was no doubt, even after a day, that I liked him- really liked him. He was my first but it couldn't be more perfect. I knew that there would be dips and there would be highs but I was ready to go through that with him.

Magnus was special to me and I could already myself reeling him into the family. I cared for him almost as much as I cared for my family, who I had known for years. It wasn't stupidity- or maybe it was. Yes, actually, it was. I was naive and I had known a man a day and I had already thought of him as one of my family. 

I was naive, as I would stay for the next few weeks. 

Jace broke me out of my reverie, a smirk playing on his face as he brought his hands in front of my face. 'Alec!' Jace laughed, seeing I had finally broken out of my thoughts. He seemed to be waiting for an answer. 'So?' He drew out the O, still waiting for an answer.

All I could say was, 'yes?' It brought a laugh around the table as they all laughed at my obliviousness to the question. I didn't mind, the distraction let me fall back into my thoughts and without a worry, the night went on.

Sure, I was questioned on why I left but never were they sspicious of the reason I gave them. They trusted me and maybe that was their downfall but I was glad, glad to be cared about.

~

A week later, back at the Institute, I was rushing to get my clothes on. It was the evening and I was getting ready to go over to Magnus'. I had texted him earlier on in the day telling him I was coming. I missed him and I was sure he missed me too so we both agreed on a time and he told me to come to his. I was glad, I wanted privacy.

'Izzy, I'm leaving!' I called out and got a muffled reply that I assumed was her goodbye. I immediately felt the excitement bubble up in my stomach. Magnus and I had texted over the last week with sweet little messages and I few deeper phone conversations but nothing could be better than seeing him in person.

I felt clingy for being so desperate to see him but I could hear he was just as desperate as I was. I glanced at my watch that I had gotten for my last birthday and realised I was late- again. I was always punctual but it seemed that I put so much effort into my appearance for Magnus that it didn't seem to be the case anymore. Not that Magnus had ever mentioned when I had looked bad but I liked to impress, especially with his style obsession. 

I took a deep breath and forced myself to calm down before rushing out of the door, walking at a fast but reasonable pace. When I rushed out, I saw Izzy come out of the kitchen, giving me a little wave and a smirk. I smiled back to her but didn't say a word and before I knew it I had reached Magnus' apartment.

I pressed my finger against the button and I heard the buzzer go off and waited a couple seconds before I got an angry response in reply. 'Who dares interrupt the High Warlock of Brooklyn.' I laughed timidly at Magnus' raging voice and answered with a shaky voice.

'It's me...wait, you can't see me.' A heavy blush fell upon my cheeks and I was glad he couldn't see me.

'Come on up, Alec.' He laughed, unlocking the door from his apartment.

'How did you know it was me?' I asked, shocked.

'I think what you said explains it all.' I blushed even heavier and opened the door, stepping inside and making my way up the stairs. 

When I found myself in the corridor, Magnus was already waiting for me. He smirked and approached me, bringing me into a gentle kiss that ended all too soon. 'I'm sorry I'm late.' I muttered but he said nothing and brought my lips back to his, this one more desperate than the last.

'Wow.' He breathed, pulling away. 'I didn't realise how much I missed that.' I turned a deep shade of red, almost representing a tomato. I looked up to see his amazing eyes, he had no glamour on them and I watched them as they danced under the small, flickering light in the hallway. For how beautiful Magnus' apartment was, the complex itself was surprisingly run down.

We simply looked at each other for what could have been an eternity, our arms wrapped around each other and smiles visible on our faces. It was all too soon when it was broken by Magnus unravelling his arms and leading me to the small kitchenette.

My stomach growled at the perfect time, just as he placed some simple looking eggs in front of me. I was more than grateful, though. They tasted delicious and I starving at this point, I hadn't eaten since before morning training.

When I was done, we both made our way into the living room, making small talk with small smiles on our faced. I was surprised to see his apartment tidier than ever as if he had cleaned it just for me.

'The place looks beautiful.' I told him, his smile widening at the compliment. He said his thanks and we made our way to the sofa together. We sat down, intertwining ourselves. Within seconds, his lips were on mine again and that familiar yet riveting sensation was back.

This time was slower, more loving and I tried to portray just how much I cared about him- how much I missed him- without the use of my stuttering and unreliable words. I still felt guilty that I hadn't told him that these were my first kisses but there was no need to know. We cared about each other, we had both made that clear.

The night rolled on and our conversations were being drawn to an end. The moon was high in the sky as I placed my head on his shoulder, drifting in a comfortable and dreamless sleep.

word count: 1020

edit 1 - 22.02.17 - new word count - 2350