— recap: Kyra is beginning her training with Ethan in the Control Centre —

Ethan halted outside a door. Like many of the others Kyra had seen, this was another one without a lock. Though he was tall, Ethan had to stand on his tiptoes to reach the top of the door frame, from which he pulled a small white pen with a glowing blue tip.

"Keys are too risky. They could easily be stolen or lost," Ethan explained to address Kyra's frown. He drew a large key on the door, which glowed for a second, before disappearing. The door opened silently as the lights flickered on.

The room was ample, with three glass computer desks spaced out across the back wall. Bookcases full to the brim of novels old and new ran along the side walls. The front wall was covered in an array of inventions, which Kyra saw as she span around; it hadn't crossed her mind that they'd also invent weapons. Suppressing a shiver at the sight of a particularly nasty blade, she crossed to the right wall and looked at the books, pulling them out at random: The Perks of Control; Handiness For Dummies, Volume One; So You Think You Can Tinker?

Placing The Basics of Building a World back on the shelf, she said, "So you can't use keys, yet you draw them on your doors?"

"There are different drawings for different purposes. The key is the symbol we use for training. All depends on what you're doing."

Ethan shrugged out of his jacket and threw it onto a free chair, heading straight for the middle computer. He pulled the chair out and waved his hand in front of the translucent screen. With a faint hum the screen solidified, shading Ethan's face in a variety of different colours. While he was distracted Kyra turned back to the shelf, her eyes catching on one book in particular: The Secrets of Arabel - A guide for beginners.

"Can I borrow this?" she asked, spinning to face him.

Glancing up, Ethan said, "Sure, sure, it's most likely stuff you already know. History, maps, facts. The basics."

His eyes raced across the screen as he typed, faster than she had seen anyone do it before - including herself during an exam. This was clearly where he felt most at home. Kyra, on the other hand, felt anything but. She crossed her arms as she walked forward tentatively. The butterflies in her stomach pressed harder against her rib cage. With every step it got more and more painful. Biting her lip, Kyra pulled a chair over from the next desk and sat down, hugging the book to her torso.

Though she knew she was supposed to be paying attention to Ethan, all she could think about was how out of place she was. Everything was white. The floors, the walls, even Ethan was sporting a pale shirt. But she was dressed in grey, so different and dull compared to the rest of the Control Centre.

Ethan typed feverishly for a few minutes, colours and words flying across the screen so fast Kyra had trouble stringing them together. The screen settled on a picture of a young girl. Judging by her clear, unlined skin, she was a few years younger than Kyra, with rosy cheeks and curly red locks that tried to obscure her face. A list of thoughts began to appear, almost as innocent as the girl herself.

"How does it work?" she asked, sliding into the adjacent seat.

"What?"

"The bracelets. I just, I don't understand how they can actually read full thoughts like that."

Ethan pursed his lips. "To be honest, I don't know. I mean, I know, but not exactly how they did it. Just the basics."

Kyra stared at him until he sighed.

"Here's what I know. Before Arabel, a group of scientists were working on a way to understand the thoughts of people with locked-in syndrome, a condition which generally occurs after a stroke and paralyses the facial tissue and the body, leaving them unable to speak. They wondered whether the parts of the brain that dealt with external sounds also dealt with internal thoughts. By mapping the neurons used when citizens hear particular sounds or words, they thought they might be able to use those neurons to interpret their thoughts. It wasn't an exact science at first, but we've had four hundred years to perfect it."

Kyra looked at him. "They did this to help people suffering?"

He nodded. The weight on her chest lifted slightly. They wanted to make the world a better place, as she'd always thought. They were making a different. Maybe she could make a difference.

Shaking her head to clear it, Kyra asked, "What do I have to do?"

"The computer will do most of the work; ninety percent of the time all you'll have to do is be in the room in case something comes up. The computer will beep either when she is under emotional stress of some sort or due to a troubling thought, and that's when I'll show you how to help the citizen."

"Alright." Kyra gripped the edge of the desk, digging her nails into the hard wooden surface, before pulling the book into her lap and flipping to the first page. Reading would help her nerves, surely, as it had done ever since she was a child. She scanned the contents page, doubting she would find anything she wouldn't know, but to her surprise most of the titles were unfamiliar. It was a welcome sight. Kyra smiled and settled back into her chair as she began to read.

All too soon she was pulled back to reality. The computer buzzed. Kyra jumped and closed the book as Ethan began to type again. The screen returned to colour as row after row of words popped up.

"Alright, scooch over. This is all about analysing and reacting. So you read her thoughts, analyse what sort of response she needs - whether it be supportive or dismissive - and write a reply. You've been receiving them for years, you know what type of things they have to say. Basically, just explain to her there is a better way to deal with her emotions. Encourage her. Build the confidence."

Kyra nodded and leaned in to read the girl's thoughts.

I'm going to screw up. This speech is worth a fifth of my grade and I'm going to screw it up. I might as well just stop now. It isn't worth it.

A pang rang through Kyra's chest at the familiarity of the voice. It was the same one she heard in her mind every time she had a doubt, the same cruel demon that kept her up at night - it had stopped her from doing so many things she'd longed to do, and the mere thought of it terrorising someone else made her stomach boil. It did more damage than a robotic voice ever could. Without a pause she began to type and, though it surprised her, the words came easily.

Do not think like that, citizen. The information you have gathered is correct and relevant, the speech is well written; the only thing missing is you. Be confident, citizen. Do not doubt your abilities.

Kyra seemed to barely have heard him. She read the message once. Twice. Three times. It didn't sound like the commands she had received in the past. Perhaps that was why she liked it so much. There was a warmth to the words that Kyra's commands never had. Smiling, she clicked send.

"That's great advice, good job! Did you think of that off the top of your head?"

"Sort of, I suppose," she said, sliding back to where her book sat. She scanned the page until she found her previous spot, ignoring the shaking of her hands. "It's what I would have wanted someone to say to me in that situation."

"Well, I'm sure it helped her a lot." There was a note of sincerity in Ethan's voice that Kyra couldn't deny, but it still felt wrong to listen to the girl's thoughts. Helping her was the right thing to do - advice like that was something Kyra needed on a daily basis - but it didn't matter. It was still an invasion of privacy. Having someone there, someone who was real and warm and understood how it felt would have been a thousand times more beneficial for the girl.

The beep sounded again, but this time Kyra was ready for it. In seconds she was in front of the screen, reading the girl's thoughts carefully.

This world is so unfair! Why do I have to live in this place? It's disgusting, and old, and I deserve more.

Be grateful, citizen.

Kyra's words only made the girl angrier. A sick feeling settled in her chest as she read the thoughts following the command.

"You already gave her two commands. One was advice, the other a warning. Now it's time for discipline." Ethan's voice was reluctant, but his strong gaze on her face confirmed what she had to do. Swallowing the vile that rose in her throat, she looked him in the eyes, hazel to black.

"What do I have to do?"

Lips pursed, Ethan stayed silent. His only response was pointing to a small red button at the bottom of the keypad. Kyra reached forward, her mind set on pressing it but her heart choosing otherwise.

"You don't have to do this yet if you aren't ready," Ethan whispered, his voice so faint Kyra barely heard it.

She wanted to nod but stopped herself. Instead, she whispered, "Hurting people... it's not something I'm okay with. I've never been okay with it. I can barely swat a fly without feeling guilty..."

"Well it isn't real pain, so in a cryptic way I suppose you're off the hook."

Kyra frowned; what did he mean by that? Ethan rushed to elaborate.

"The pain, it isn't real. Each citizen has a microchip inserted into the back of their neck when they're born. The chips control the parts of the brain that house your emotions, imagination and pain. The electric shocks the citizens receive are nothing more than an illusion."

The blood in Kyra's veins turned to ice as she stared at her hands, her upper lip trembling. "And you didn't think the citizens should know that? Do you know how much grief those electric shocks create?"

"There are many things the citizens don't know that you will learn. If we thought it would make life better for them, we would tell them. But based on your reaction, it would only make people furious. I mean, I would be mad too if I knew how easily I could be manipulated."

Kyra shot him a glare. "I'm furious because I didn't know about it, not because of the science behind the microchips." She took a deep breath in before continuing. "It's smart, really. No nerve damage, no brain damage. You might not even run the risk of tissue damage if you inserted it correctly."

"We wouldn't risk doing it wrong."

Kyra nodded, but her eyes were back on the screen. Without thinking about it her finger had placed itself back on the button. She read through the girl's thoughts as they continued to billow out, angrier than almost any Kyra had seen. When she was younger she had similar thoughts, especially after her father's disappearance, but eventually she started to ignore them. After that, life was much easier. And it could be for the girl too.

Gritting her teeth, she pushed the button. A rush of hot guilt ran through her like nausea, increasing with every letter she typed, but she didn't stop until she was satisfied with what she wrote.

Remember, citizen. You are good, Arabel is good, everything is good.

It was the line she replayed in her head late at night, when her bracelet was long gone and the pain from the tiny needles it inserted into her skin was ebbing - the thought that always reminded her she was another citizen of Arabel, nothing more. Kyra waited, her heart thumping against her rib cage. She held her breath until the girl's next thought came, silencing the tight ball of guilt in her chest.

I am good, Arabel is good, everything is good.

— author's note —

Hey y'all, how's it going?

What are your thoughts about Controllers, and more importantly, Ethan so far?

Let me know what you think in the comments! Thank you for your feedback, it means so much to me that even you're reading this. x