When lunch had ended and we were back in room 104A, I updated Ymir on the situation:

    —————————————————

    me

    Everything's cool now. Idk what Mikasa said to Jean, but it worked out.

    —————————————————

    Ymir

    Weird. I'm not complaining tho.

    This is like best case scenario.

    —————————————————

    I saw Eren stealing glances at Ymir's phone. He sat right beside her.

    —————————————————

    me

    Fuck eren tho. He's been ruining my life since day one.

    uwu

    —————————————————

    I threw in the 'uwu' just to piss him off. To be honest, I wasn't exactly sure if the timing was right for it, but I didn't care. I think it worked. He stared back down at his desk after that.

    —————————————————

    Ymir

    No offense (Y/N)

    But u seem to be a little *too* triggered abt this whole thing

    especially since you and jean r fine

    It's kinda unlike you

    —————————————————

    We're not fine, I thought. Sure, Jean seemed unfazed by everything when I confronted him about it— he sort of just brushed it off— but, I could tell in his eyes that there was an emptiness between us that hadn't been there before. Something had shattered.

    Ymir didn't need to know that right now, though.

    —————————————————

    me

    Eh. Guess I finally got tired of it.

    —————————————————

    Ymir

    sure... lmk when u feel like explaining

    —————————————————

    I didn't respond. Explain? Explain what? That I dislike Eren for beating up my friend and being an overall asshole with zero redeeming qualities for the entire year? My growing annoyance and rage had finally caught up to him. Like hell I would. I think I'll stay mad, at least for now, just to make sure he'll fuck off.

    Ymir might not have realized it, Eren may not have realized it, and Jean's insecure ass probably didn't have the faintest idea about it— but I still liked Jean a whole hell of a lot, and Eren had crushed our relationship. I wasn't going to let him off the hook this time. I made it my personal mission to show Eren how much I hated him. I'd just follow in his footsteps from the beginning of the year. I'll trip him, shove him, and tease him mercilessly, making it as apparent as possible that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

Eren's POV:

    I knocked on (Y/N)'s window, praying to God that she was somewhere in her room. She peeked her head through the bathroom door, then walked to the window, looking from side to side like she was expecting someone to be inside her room. Finally, she saw me at the window. Her eyes widened for a second in fear and confusion, but she opened the window for me. I tried to step through, but she blocked my entrance inside. I stared at her, wondering what the problem was.

    She looked at me coldly. "What are you doing here?"

    I wasn't quite sure how to answer that. I figured my best bet was to do the usual: casual and apathetic responses. "I wanted to say hello," I excused. Then, so she wouldn't shut me out right then and there, I threw in quietly: "And maybe hang out for a bit."

    Her expression hadn't changed. (Y/N) still looked at me with the same hurt and fury that she had felt after I fought with Jean... and her too, I guess. Her cheek still had a bruise from where I struck her. Yikes...

    "Did you not get the hint from last time we talked? I don't like you. We aren't friends," she said scornfully.

    Maybe if I continue pretending nothing's wrong, she'll agree with me and we'll be fine. I have to use my Eren charm:

    "You left the lights on downstairs, by the way," I said, ignoring her previous comment. Wow, Eren. That was so charming... Idiot!

    "I'm aware," she responded shortly.

    I realized this wasn't something (Y/N) was going to let go of anytime soon. I stared up at her contemptuous face and gnawed at my lip. This was much more difficult than I had planned for.

    "Look, I'm sorry. I had no intention of punching you in the face. You just got in the—"

    She stared at me, the look of murder flashing in her eyes.

    Are you stupid or something? I asked myself. Why would you blame her for this?? That's not how apologies work???

    I couldn't meet her gaze. It was too scary, and now, I had to throw away my pride: "(Y/N), I... I've been really awful to you, and I want to make amends."

    I pulled out the list I had made for her earlier. It was a great backup plan: if (Y/N) wouldn't listen to me in person, at least she'd give me the chance to explain it in a note. Right now, it seemed like she'd prefer to look at a piece of garbage over my face.

    (Y/N) didn't reach out to take it. She had to get this list from me though, otherwise, things would probably get worse. Besides Jean, I hated when other people hated me. I couldn't stand it. So, I needed to make things right with her— at least enough to where she'd tolerate me. I very riskily clasped my hand around her wrist and pulled her arm towards me. She kept her fist in a tight ball that was nearly impossible to pry open. Jesus Christ— she really doesn't want this letter.

    I heard a voice echo from (Y/N)'s bathroom. I instantly knew it was Jean's. After countless years of trivial battles, one gets to know their opponent's voice very well.

    "(Y/N)?" Jean walked tiredly into the room, trying to orient himself. He looked like shit. I attempted to duck beneath the window so he wouldn't see me, but it failed epically. Jean tilted his head in confusion. It seemed that whatever he was doing earlier had left him very drained. Wait— what were they doing earlier? Why was Jean here?

    "Yeager? What are you doing here? Mikasa said you weren't coming..."

    Coming to what? I thought back to my day at school. I vaguely remember hearing applause from (Y/N)'s table when Sasha and Connie brought an excessively large meal. That must have been related to something... Oh! I remembered. It was Historia's birthday today. They must have been throwing a party— a party that I was invited to, but didn't know about. Damn you, Mikasa Ackerman.

    Although, even though it now made sense why Jean was here, I was still confused as to why he was here. In (Y/N)'s room. Alone. The thought of them together irritated me. I still couldn't put my finger on why. Probably because you despise Jean, Eren, I thought.

    I moved my attention back to Jean and (Y/N) with a million questions still running through my head. I hoped they could be answered later.

    Jean squinted his eyes and saw my hand gripping (Y/N)'s.

    "Eh? (Y/N)..." I could tell from the look in his eyes that Jean had already drawn his own conclusion. Regardless, he still asked: "What are you doing?"

    (Y/N) quickly pulled her hand away from mine, forcing her to take the note with it. Thank the Lord.

    "Jean, I— It's not what it looks like—" she stumbled over her words.

    He looked at me scathingly before crossing his arms and turning away.

    "'It's not what it looks like'," he mocked. "Sure, that's what they all say. I can't believe you. After everything he's done: the fighting, the manipulation, the fact that he treats you like shit— and you still go back to him?" He took a quick breath before continuing, "Do I seriously mean nothing to you?! Am I just that disposable?!"

    Despite my many fights with Jean, I had never seen him this angry. This was pure and raw hatred. His eyes turned to slits and he stared me down. I froze in fear— normally, I'd never be scared of Jean, but under these conditions, he could smack me off the roof whenever. I had no way to defend myself.

    "Yeager, you piece of shit. You've always got to ruin it for me, huh?! I can't get one good thing," Jean stormed over to me, lifting his arm, preparing to punch. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch you out this window right now."

    I wasn't sure what to do, so I averted his gaze and stared at (Y/N), praying that she would do something. I knew that Jean didn't really want to kill me, but in this moment, he might've.

    "Jean, please don't! It's really not worth it. Eren's not worth it! Just let me kick him out and we can talk," (Y/N) begged on my behalf.

    Hey, wait a second. I'm not worth it? Fuck you, (Y/N)! I mean, I know you're only doing this to calm Jean down, but there was no need to phrase it like that. After everything I've come here to do—

    Jean's face melted, the look of utter betrayal: "Are you serious? You're helping him now? Was your short time alone in the closet that meaningful?"

    My eyes widened. Oh. Didn't think he'd ever play that card.

    "Yeah, I was wondering if you had ever planned on telling me what happened in there. You know what? It's fine," Jean dropped his fist and looked at me with defeat.

    "Jean— that was months ago!" I tried to explain.

    "I said, it's fine. You win, Yeager. Congrats." I heard his footsteps recede and decided to stay on the roof just in case I met Jean downstairs and he changed his mind about beating the shit out of me.

    I wasn't sure how to break the tension, but I did my best. "So, since I technically was invited to this party, can I come in? Just for a few seconds— to talk at least."

    I grimaced. That could have been better executed.

    (Y/N) glared at me, her eyes on fire. "Hell. No. I think you've done enough tonight. Mikasa was right not to invite you. Don't come by ever again. I don't want you here."

    I wasn't sure how to respond, so I didn't. I left her alone at the window and began my walk back home, praying that (Y/N) would read my letter. It could at least fix some of this.

    Before going home, I stopped by a liquor store and picked up a slushy. I sat down in the parking lot for a few hours thinking. Eventually, around three in the morning, I was kicked out for loitering and forced to walk back home. I found Mikasa waiting for me at the door.

    "Eren! Where have you been?" she said in a frenzy.

    "I got a slushy," I held up the empty cup as evidence.

    She stared at me suspiciously: "And why were you out in the first place?"

    I shrugged.

    "You went to (Y/N)'s, didn't you?" she concluded.

    "How did—"

    "I saw Jean leave early. After he left, I heard a thump outside, so I went to check. I saw you walking away from her house. This is why I didn't tell you about the party."

    "If you already knew where I was, why did—"

    Mikasa interrupted me: "I assumed that you would be home by now. When you weren't, I was afraid something had happened." She opened the front door and pushed me inside. "I'm too tired to talk about this now, but tomorrow, we will."

    "Mikasa," I complained, "It's none of your—"

    "It is, Eren." She started climbing the stairs, looking away from me. She stopped and turned her head: "It always is." Mikasa closed the door to her room. I decided to follow suit.

    I woke up early the next morning and went out on a full day hike to avoid Mikasa. I came back around two in the morning and found her asleep at the front door. God— Mom doesn't even care this much. I picked her up and plopped her on her bed, going to sleep right after.

    On Sunday morning, I got out of bed later than intended, and Mikasa caught me at the door.

    "We're talking about this now," she said.

    I knew there was no escaping her, so I sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for her lecture.

    "Eren, for your sake and my own, stop."

    Here we go, I thought. Another blunt confrontation.

    "Stop obsessing over (Y/N). It's causing problems. It's a silly, stupid crush. Get over it. Crushes are a waste of time." Mikasa sighed deeply, staring at something I couldn't see. "They'll never like you back."

    "I don't have a crush on—"

    "Stop lying," she said seriously.

    I smashed my hand on the table: "Stop interrupting my sentences!"

    "Fine," she said, but continued talking, "I'm asking nicely, Eren. Just drop it."

    "There's nothing to drop," I defended.

    "You're a fool."

    "And you're annoying. Stay out of it," I warned.

    "No."

    "What does Armin think of all this?"

    "He agrees with me. If you get caught in another fight with Jean, you could be expelled. How's that going to look in your records? What college would take you in? It's a smart decision... Besides, if you don't like her, then it shouldn't be that unreasonable of a request," she said snootily.

    I thought for a moment. Mikasa was right— if Jean saw me with (Y/N) again, there was now a one hundred percent chance of a fight breaking out. It was unavoidable. Despite this, I would normally ignore Mikasa's logic and continue to talk to (Y/N) anyway, but her last comment got me. I don't like (Y/N). Neither Armin nor Mikasa believed me, so this was my chance to prove it. A dumb reason to do something, I'm aware, but I wanted to keep my pride.

    "Fine," I accepted.

    I knew it was disappointing for me to accept Mikasa's terms out of spite, but that has always been my way of doing things. I was rebellious by nature. Pathetic, perhaps, but rebellious. Especially with Mikasa behaving like my mother, proving her wrong was one of my favorite things.