ROUND 1 — The Haunting

Use your character's senses to show the scene as you write the scariest scene possibly in less than 800 words. Write this on google docs (read enabled or your submission won't be judged) and then post the link on activity submission. 

THE MUSIC BOX

Little Jaynee Mox was alone in her bedroom, playing with her antique doll house. Her mother was in the garden, hanging the fresh pile of washing on the line in the blazing summer sun. It was the perfect day to go out and play with a gaggle of friends on the street, but Jaynee wanted to stay inside. She had to finish the story.

"But Mr. Coltrain," she said to herself, her high-pitched, girlish voice being placed upon a wooden doll in an old-fashioned dress. "You must understand I had nothing to do with the disappearance of Cindy."

Where Jaynee found the ideas for her stories, she didn't know. They seemed to come to her in dreams like bright flashes of memory running on an old film projector, the tape fizzling at the missing pieces. She'd had recurring nightmares about this one as of late, but she was adamant to see through the tale until the very last chapter.

But as she took a breath, the doll playing Mr. Coltrain taking centre stage, the tinkle of consecutive musical notes echoed from above. Jaynee paused, glancing above, waiting.

Nothing. All was silent.

Shaking her golden pigtails, she steeled herself for the next scene. Then, there they were again. Three notes, dying on the tip of the warm summer air seeping through the house. They echoed, the final note cracking.

With an exasperated huff, Jaynee got up from her crouched position on the floor and wandered onto the upstairs landing. Everything was as it should be, she noted. Her mother's bedroom door was ajar, always open for her to visit during the night if the nightmares became too much. The bathroom door was open, revealing an antique bathtub with brushed gold feet. It let her know no one was using it.

However, above her head, the hatch to the attic lay open. A brisk breeze wove around her as she peered into the black abyss. Nothing moved, though she expected something to. The notes played again. They twisted down, down, down until they landed in her ears. They belonged to the attic.

Reaching for the ladder pole, she pulled them until they reached the ground where her feet stood firmly in place. She licked her dry lips, clambering up the rungs into the pitch-black darkness. Jaynee had never been afraid of the shadows of night. She wasn't about to start now.

Cobwebs wrestled their claws into her hair, any remaining spiders scuttling away from the large intruder. Pulling herself up, the floorboards creaked under the unfamiliar weight of a child. The harsh sunlight poured through the round window at the furthest end of the attic, spilling onto the dust covers moulded into the shape of the things they were hiding under them.

Jaynee waited until she heard the notes again; sure enough, they echoed from somewhere deep in the room. They lured her forward, more notes confidently crying out to her. Whatever it was, it wanted to be found.

In the dullest corner where the light couldn't reach, concealed by mountains of cardboard boxes brimming with odds and ends, a music box was perched on a chair, open. A woman spun around in a mauve dress to the music, the paint of the facial features scratched off. With an arm in the air, her foot lifted slightly, it looked like she was dancing. It was almost beautiful.

Reaching out for it, the lid slammed shut. Jaynee leapt away, falling onto her bottom with a loud thud. A slender, skeletal hand sat on top of the lid. Bones jutted in awkward places, and the wrist bent gracelessly. Out of the shadows, she could make out a woman's pointed chin and rouged lips. With a finger lifting, a resounding shushing formed on the mysterious figure.

Jaynee screamed, scrambling to get up. After finding solid footing, she slammed her feet against the groaning floorboards, stiff with age. Clumsily, she raced down the ladder. Once on stable ground, she pushed the ladders up, up, up into the black hole, but not before she caught a glimpse of the figure of a woman in an old dress much like the figure in the music box.

Breathing heavily, she thought she was out of the woods. Nonetheless, things only got worse. Her nightmares became vivid recollections, the missing pieces returning to the surface. She could complete her story at long last.

After a year, her mother packed up their things without explaining why and they moved into her grandparent's house. Jaynee could recall the pallid complexion of her mother as they got in the car, even years later. Maybe one day, she would return to where it began. But for now, Jaynee was content with having restful nights free of nightmares.

SECOND PLACE WITH 15 POINTS

JUDGES COMMENTS

Judges Score: 9
Public Vote: 6 
Total Score: 15

Good work! It has great potential, it could have been the prelude to a larger mystery (I actually thought for a second this would turn into a full-blown court drama). Making a child the protagonist of this scene makes the suspense all the more impactful. Maybe the ending falls a bit short here - the mystery of it all is resolved too quickly for my taste. You could have left the audience hanging, questioning whether it is all the girl's imagination instead of having her and her mother move out. Otherwise: Great quality work.