My phone is buzzing, waking me up. I hope that isn't Jack.

It's 6:00am? Suzanne? She wouldn't text me this early unless it is important.

Suzanne:​This is in the paper this morning.

She sent a link and I click on it:

South Portland Man Arrested for Drunk Driving with Two Kids in the Car.

A 30-year-old South Portland man was arrested late Sunday night after allegedly driving drunk with two young children in the car.
Police stopped the car on Sunday night at around 11:30 p.m. on Highland Avenue for speeding. Benjamin Cushing man was then arrested for Operating Under the Intoxicated (OUI) and Child Endangerment—as two children, ages 2 and 4, were in the car with the Mr. Cushing.
The police said the children were turned over to the family, and Office of Child and Family Services (OCFS) will be notified of the incident.
Mr. Cushing was arrested and is being held Cumberland County Jail pending arraignment.

My hands start shaking uncontrollably as I push call.

Suzanne picks up immediately. "What a piece of shit!"

"The boys? Are they Okay?"

"I just read the story and sent it to you. I don't know anything more."

"I need to come back up. The boys can't stay with that nasty troll. Can you pick me up at the airport?"

"Of course I can. Simon is out of town. Stay with me."

"Thanks. I'll call you back when I book my flight."

Quickly, I log on to the airline sight and use the return voucher to book a flight back to Portland tonight. I'm glad it's off season down here, there are plenty of cheap seats left.

I text Suzanne my flight information. I get into PWM at 9pm tonight.

Suzanne texts back:​I got you Girl! See u tonight!

I don't need be to the airport until around 3. What am I going to do for eight hours? I feel panic setting in as I start shaking again. Why couldn't he just be normal?

Packing everything into the same duffel bags I showed up to the island with a few months ago, including the Beach perfume that Jack gave me for my birthday, I sit on the edge of the bed and cry. I know Jack would know exactly what to do.

Holding my head in my hands, tears start to flow. Everything is my fault. I should have stayed in Maine. I should have fought harder for the boys. I should have.... Stood up to Ben and his parents.

The few months I have been away from Maine, I have grown strong enough to realize this. I should have stood my ground. I shouldn't have let them walk all over me. I should have exposed them for who they were. Well, no more Mrs. Nice Guy.

"I have time for a swim before I need to leave" Pulling my suit out of the duffle and pulling it on. "Early morning swimming."

I know I don't want to leave and who knows if I will ever be back to Saint John? My wish is that I can just take the boys and bring them here. I know they would love it here as much as I do.

Floating is the warm saltwater feels good. The sun feels good. It's hard to believe that I am headed back up to Maine in a few hours.

My plan: Get boys back, Get back to the island ASAP away from the Cushing Clan.

Now, I just need to figure out how to go about it with minimal resources.

After floating in the water, clouds moved in and rain started. Rushing out of the water, I dry off and head over to get an early lunch and say goodbye to my first friend on the island, Sarah.

"You're leaving today?" Sarah comes around from behind the bar and throws her arms around me after I explain about Ben's arrest. "I don't want you to leave. Promise me you'll come back."

Sarah hugs me harder. "I promise." Hugging her back. "I promise I'll be back. And I'll have the boys with me."

"I'm going to miss you. How are you getting to the airport?" Sarah releases me.

"Oh my gosh, Thanks for reminding me!" I need to call Sebastian!" I pull Sebastian's handwritten card out of my wallet and start to dial his number. Sarah goes back behind the bar and attends to other customers while I call Sebastian.

"Miss Isa! Of course I will drive you to the airport." Sebastian's voice resonates happiness through my cellphone. He's another person I will miss dearly. "I will pick you up around 3."

Ok, I have my ride to the airport, my bags are packed, I've said goodbye to Sarah. Let's hope I don't run into Jack.

I order a Mahi Sandwich with fries and a water. I know that Maine has great seafood, but personally, I love the how the seafood is prepared here. Pan blackened Mahi with spices and some sort of spicy sauce. So good!

"I wish we had more time." Sarah says. "I know you'll do great getting the boys back. I can't wait to meet the littles sometime soon."

"Thank you for being a friend when I needed one." She comes out from behind the bar for one more hug goodbye.

Saying goodbye to Sam and checking out of the Villa's is sad. This has been my home off and on for the past few months. "Thank you for everything. I'm flying out later today." I give Sam a quick hug. "How much do I owe you?" I realize I never signed anything or gave him a credit card when I checked back in.

"Isa, It's all been taken care of. Jack wanted to make sure you had a place to go. He took care of your bill for as long as you wanted to stay here."

"I didn't know he did that." My stomach has butterflies and not in a good way. No wonder Sam gave me the Villa on the beach. "Well, I'd like to pay for myself."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he wasn't supposed to pay." Sam apologizes. "He paid up front. I wouldn't know how to reverse it If I could."

"It's okay." I feel bad for Sam. Jack shouldn't have put him in the middle like this. "Thank you for everything."
"Goodbye Isa." Sam forces an uncomfortable smile. "Please come back soon."

"That's my plan."

#

Sebastian is prompt. He arrives exactly at 2:45 and loads my bags in the back of his van. "You won't be gone long? Miss Isa? Will you?"

"I'm not sure?" I feel sad letting Sebastian down. I really like working with him. "I have some personal business I need to attend to. Then, I will hopefully be back."

"Sooner than later, Miss Isa."

We cross on the ferry and quickly arrive at the airport. "How much do I owe you?"

"I can't take money from you." Sebastian looks offended that I am trying to pay him. "I will help you anytime." Sebastian unloads my bags and carries them over to the Skycap. Sebastian obviously knows the Skycap. They both ask how each other's families are doing. "Take good care of my friend Miss Isa."

"Absolutely!" The Skycap smiles at me and checks my bags in for my flight.

I throw my arms around him. "Thank you, Sebastian! I will miss you."

"Have a nice trip, I will see you very soon."

I wave to him as he gets in his van and drives away. I've made more friends here is the short time I have been on the island than I have in the past five years living in Kennebunk. One way or another, I'll be back. I know it.

Inside the terminal, I buy a drink and a book to read and sit at the gate to charge my phone. I keep looking around, thinking I will see Jack.

By now someone must have said something to him about my leaving. But he doesn't show up. There is no dramatic "goodbye for now" scene. I know I'm still mad at him. Is he mad at me too?

My plane is here. Looks like my flight will be on time. I'm glad that the weather from this morning has cleared and the day turned out to be nice weather wise.

On the aircraft,
I take my seat next to the window. Sitting in front of me is an older lady. She is complaining the woman sitting next to her has a cat in a cat carrier. The flight attendant keeps coming over and asking if she would like to move her seat.

"I hope she calms down soon." The man sitting next to me says. "I don't want to listen to her the entire flight."

I just smile to acknowledge him. I don't want to have any part of the commotion. I just want to take off. I look outside half expecting my own commotion and see Jack to be walking toward the plane. But he isn't there.

"Ladies and gentlemen. I'm sorry. We are going to be delayed a few minutes, but not to worry, we will make the time up in the air." The pilot announces over the intercom.

I keep staring out the window. It's not a large airport and from my seat, I can see the hanger that Jack keeps his plane in. His plane is here that means Jack is here in the islands.

The woman in front of me starts screaming. "I'm not going to move! I was here first Make her move! I'm allergic to cats."

"Mamm. She doesn't have a problem sitting here, you do." The flight attendant is trying to defuse the situation. "You have two choices. You can change your seat, or you can get off the plane."

"I'm not moving! This is my seat!" The woman is screaming now.

"Unbelievable." I say to my rowmate. "She is being ridiculous." I check the time on my phone. We are late.

The Saint Thomas police came aboard. They spoke with the older woman who started screaming at them. They got her things out of the overhead compartment and finally escorted her off the plane.

As soon as she was out the door, flight attendant closed it. She picked up the handset and spoke. "Cabin secure."

I keep staring out at Jack's plane. If he were to make a grand appearance, sweep me off my feet, Tell me, "Don't go." Now is the time. But he's not here. We pull away from the gate and take off. I watch out as I see the beautiful blues and greens of the of the warm USVIs get further and further away.

#

Our low approach is up the Fore River with Portland to the right and South Portland to the left. I spot the roof of Ben's parents' house from the plane. Counting the roofs from the landmark school, their house is easy to locate. I look hard to see if I can catch a glimpse of Luke and Cole outside, But we are too far away and from this angle I can only see roofs, not who may be playing in the back yard.

Our landing was uneventful. I pulled my backpack out from under the seat in front of me and walked off the plane and down to baggage claim. Suzanne is waiting for me at the bottom of the escalator.

"Hey Stranger!" Suzanne welcomes me with her arms wide open. "Welcome back!"

I step off the escalator and walk over to her and hug her. "Thanks for picking me up. I have a few small bags to wait for." I wish I could say I'm glad to be home, but I'm not glad. I want to get my boys and go back to Saint John.

"How was your flight?" Suzanne and I walk over to the baggage carousel and wait for the bags from our flight to come out.

"Interesting. I learned that the airline has zero tolerance when it comes to unruly passengers."

Suzanne gasped. "What did you do?"

"No! not me! The woman in front of me. I didn't think we were ever going to take off." I hope she is only kidding. She can't actually believe that I could be unruly.

"No! Of course not! But you never know with a pregnant woman."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." I laugh, it is good to see Suzanne again.

"I've written down all the contact numbers for you to call tomorrow to find out what is going on." Suzanne says as I'm looking ahead on the belt for my bags. "I still can't believe that prick is that irresponsible, putting his own children in danger not to mention everyone else on the road."

"I know." Both of my bags are on the belt and headed our way. "I have to get the boys away from him before he causes them any more harm."

"And his parents, especially his mother."

"Her too."

We each carry a bag out to the parking garage. "This is a pretty classy ride." I comment as Suzanne pops open the back of her Land Rover to put the bags in.

"Simon gave it to me for my birthday." Suzanne takes a deep breath and lets it out. "He's in New York this week."

I wonder if Simon buys Suzanne expensive gifts to make up for not being around. Why doesn't she want to go with him on his trips? She seems sad when she mentions her new husband.

"Well, he must really love you."

"I know he loves me." Suzanne starts the engine and dials the knob to reverse. "I just wish..."

"Wish what?" She can't leave me hanging. I want to be there for her as much as she is being there for me.

"I wish he was around more." Suzanne backs out of the space and starts driving out of the garage. "I wish he was, more of a husband."

"I'm sorry." The only thing I can say is 'I'm sorry.' I really don't know anything about Simon other than he is a lot older than Suzanne and he is never home.

"There's nothing for you to feel sorry about." She glances over to me before inserting her credit card to pay for parking. "We will figure it out." Suzanne smiles and the bar swings open, allowing us to leave the airport.

"If you love each other, you will." I pat her shoulder as we head toward South Portland. "We are going to drive right by Ben's parent's house, aren't we?"

"We will drive by their road. Do you want to take a little detour?" Suzanne looks at me for my answer.

I nod yes. I want to see the boys. I want to know they are okay. My fingers find my necklace and start to twirl the starfish between my fingers.

"I like your necklace. Is that Tiffany's?"

"I think so? Jack gave it to me for my birthday."

"I thought you were mad at Jack? Why are you wearing a necklace he gave you?"

I shrug my shoulders. I don't know why? Maybe I wear it because it's the only birthday present I have received since my parents died over ten years ago? Maybe I love the necklace because someone took the time to know I love starfish?

Suzanne turns down their road and slows when we come to their house. It's a typical cape cod with some deferred maintenance. It needs some paint, and the landscaping is overgrown and there is a pile of debris outside the garage that needs to be taken away. That's not safe for the boys to play around.

Why isn't Ben helping his parents? If he is staying with them, I would think that he would be helping them take care of the house. I hope they care Luke and Cole better than they care for their house.

Suzanne pulls over just past the house so I can get a better look into the back yard. There is a green tent set up on the grass. Does Ben camp out in the backyard sometimes with the boys?

I don't see any activity. I don't think anyone is home.

"Have you seen enough?" Suzanne asks as I take a few pictures with my phone to look at later.

"Yes, I guess." Disappointed I didn't see the boys, Suzanne pulls away and we head out to Prout's Neck to her home.

"We have plenty of space, It's just me at the house. Simon is gone all the time."

"Thank you. I really appreciate all you are doing for me."

"I don't mind. Really." Suzanne turns onto a small dirt road that resembles a driveway. "I could use the company."

I smile, I can use the company too.

The Range Rover bounces as we hit potholes left over from the cold and snowy winter we had. No one has filled them in yet.

"The potholes are traffic deterrents. They help keep sightseers away." Suzanne explains. I can imagine getting stuck during mud season without four-wheel drive, I can see why Suzanne would need the Range Rover. There are about six large houses on her road, all of which are look historic.

"Sightseers?" I ask but before Suzanne answers, I see why there would be sightseers. The ocean. The road dead ends at a rocks that drops into the waves. It's a much harsher landscape than on Saint John.

"That's the 'Ark'" Suzanne points at a small garage looking house. "Winslow Homer's studio, the art museum owns it now and they give tours."

I remember learning about Winslow Homer in high school. This is where he painted? Most of his paintings were set in bad weather.
Suzanne pulls into the driveway across from Homer's. Suzanne's house is the last house on the road closest to the water.

"This is beautiful." I look up at the large, shingled house that looks like it has been here for. We get out and I can smell the salt spray when the waves hit the cold weathered rocks. The wind off the ocean is constant. Even though it's the end of July, the air here on Prout's Neck is chilly.

"Simon and I just had it restored before we moved in." We take my bags out of the back and start toward her house. "It's a John Calvin Stevens."

"I think we learned about him in school. He was a popular architect in the early 1900s?"

"Yep. That's him." Suzanne unlocks her front door, and we walk in the foyer. "I know more about him know that I want to."

Looking around, It's like stepping back in time a hundred years. "It's still very nice."

"You hungry?"

"Famished!"

"Let's find something to eat."

#

Why do I wake up in the middle of the night? I'm so tired when I go to bed. I fall right asleep. Now it's three in the morning and I can't sleep. The nearby lighthouse reminds me with two blasts that a minute goes by. Instead of counting sheep, I can count the fog horn blasts to fall asleep.

But, between writing a script in my head about what I am going to say to the State about Ben, counting every minute the lighthouse sounding its warning wont put me back to sleep tonight. There is too much going on in my head.

I watch the sun come up over the water. I forgot how early the sun rises in Maine. It's 4:30am and it's already getting light outside. I can tell it will be one of those days if I don't get some coffee into me.

Using the light on my phone, I find my way in the dark hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen and start a pot of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Bonus that it's Franch Vanilla. Thank you Suzanne!

I start going through my phone as I sip on my coffee. I know I shouldn't do it but I do. I open Jack's text messages to re-read some of our conversations. I'm a glutton for punishment.

At the bottom of the text screen are the words, "Jack unsent a message." Not once, not twice, but five times. I didn't even know you could "unsend" a text message.

Jack texted me and then unsent it? Why would he do that? Was he was thinking about me? Does he know I left and he wanted to say goodbye but then hit unsend to be respectful of my wishes? Or, did he write something mean and then he took it back?

I think about texting him something and then unsending it just so he know what it feels like to have to guess. But I'm better than that and I don't want to open the door for him to start communicating with me again. I have too much on my plate right now trying to get the boys back.

I close out of Jack's text messages and open up a game app. Sipping my coffee and playing solitaire will pass the time until Suzanne gets up.

#

9am on the dot I dial the number to the State and ask what is going on with Ben Cushing's case.

"Apparently, nothing." The woman's voice on the other end said. "No one has been assigned."

I explained to her everything I knew about the arrest, and how the boys were in the car with him when he was drinking. I explained to her that I don't have custody but I would love to more than anything.

She wanted a me to send over the custody arrangement and any other information that might be important.

"Absolutely! As soon as I hang up." I give the woman my phone number and my email so she can reach me with any questions or updates. She promised to keep me updated on her investigation, but she warned me, this could be a slow process.

Hope fills my heart. Finally someone who cares enough to listen to me.

I use Suzanne's printer and scan the copy of my divorce decree along with copies of the boys birth certificates and my driver's license.

"Suzanne, Thank you." I hug her; Tears flowing from my eyes. "Thank you so much!"

"For what? Inviting you to stay with me?" Suzanne hugs me.

"That and for coming across the article."

"That's what friends are for. You would do the same for me." I do have a friend. I know we weren't very close when we went to school together but that has all changed.

What are the chances that we be in the same restaurant at the same time in Saint John? Our running into each other was someone knowing we needed each other's friendship. It feels good to have Suzanne as my friend.

"Of course I would!"