It seems like the Library on St. John is exactly place I should be. In one of my darkest times, the Kennebunk Library sent me here to St John via a grand prize raffle ticket. Fast forward four months, I'm living on the island and teaching literacy at the local library here. I should send them a thank you note or maybe an update.

Three days a week that the Literacy Center is open, I am there with Simon and two other teachers to tutor the nine children and six adults from the local community who need help learning to read and write.

I love working with the children. But I have learned that my passion is really working with the adults. Whatever the reason is that they missed out on learning how to read when they were children doesn't matter now. They are eager to learn, and I am just as eager to help them learn.

I was surprised to see Sabastian, the cab driver I met when I first landed on St Thomas, being one of them. He didn't remember me right off but then when I told him that I was the one he picked up who was by herself, it must have jogged his memory. When I pulled his card out of my wallet with his name and number handwritten on it, he was seemed very impressed.

"Mamm, you never called me!" I'm unsure if he is joking or offended.

"Sebastian." I look directly into his eyes so there is no question how sincere I am. "I didn't need any rides, but you would have been the first person I would have called. Don't you live on St. Thomas?" Saint Thomas is where I met him when he drove me from the airport to the ferry.

"No, I live here, with my family." Sebastian admits, "There is much more work on the bigger island."

"So you commute to Saint Thomas for work."

"Yes Mamm, my family has lived here for many years."

"Well, believe me, you will be the only person I call if I need to get somewhere." Opening a book that Sebastian has been working on, "Let's get down to business."

He nodded and eagerly took the book. Not only is Sebastian is not only a hard worker and determined, he is just as kind as when I first met him. I like him a lot.

Dr. Easton says I'm a natural teacher and I have patience and respect. I enjoy helping people learn something that will change their lives for the better.

#


"You hungry?" Sarah asks me and I know she knows the answer already as Simon and I sit down at the bar. "Hi Dr. Easton."

"Hi Sarah." Simon looks around the bar. The band is new, not Jack's. Not Jack's friends. Such a relief.

"Isa, We have your favorite Mahi Mahi Tacos tonight!" Yum!

"Really? Sign me up! And a large water with lemon."

"Make that two and a Red Stripe," Simon adds.

"You guys got it." Sarah dances over to the computer screen and bounces to the music as she enters our order. Then opens a cooler to grab Simon's beer.
"I haven't seen you for ages." Sarah reaches in the back pocket of her cutoff jeans and pulls out a bottle opener and skillfully pulls the cap off the Red Stripe and sets it down in front of Simon, tossing the cap into the trash across the bar then fills a glass with ice and water and puts it in front of me.

"Sarah, I saw you two days ago." She stabs a lemon with a wooden pick and puts it on top of my glass.

"Yes, but I'm used to seeing you every day." Sarah's mother hen is coming out. "You okay? I'm worried about you. How did your appointment go with him?" 

"Sarah, you do not have to be so hostile toward me." Simon interjects. I can tell he is getting annoyed with Sarah's inner bodyguard.

Sarah turns and sharply addresses Simon "She doesn't need any more men in her life right now."

"Hello? I'm right here!" I can't believe her. "Sarah, I'm Volunteering at the Literacy Center with Simon. We just finished up and came here for something to eat."

"Sarah, Relax." Simon laughs. "We're just here for dinner."

Sarah grunts and spins around and goes to check on other customers.

"Geeze, I thought she liked me."

"Wow, I don't know what's gotten into her."

Simon shrugs. "I don't know?" He picks up his beer. "To your first day as a teacher. You did great today." I pick up my water and tap his bottle gently.

"Thanks for thinking of me." I take a big sip if my water as he does his beer. "I really enjoyed it. Sebastian is very smart."

"All the students are very smart; they just lacked opportunity at one point and they don't."

"I like that." I look out and the sun is setting over the ocean. One more beautiful sunset.

Sarah brings out our tacos and sets them down. "Any hot sauce?"

"I'm good." I say, afraid to ask her anything.

"No, I don't need any. Thanks." Simon is wise.

I look down at my plate. Three crispy tacos filled with heaps of pan blackened fish, diced tomatoes, peppers, onion, avocados, pineapple and mango. Oh my God! These look so good! Then, a huge helping of rice and black beans filling the rest of the plate.

Sarah comes back with some small bowls of sour cream and some kind of salsa and sets it down for us to share.

"This looks so good" And I take a big bite and some of the fish goes down the wrong way. When I start coughing uncontrollably, Simon reaches around and rubs my back until I stop coughing.

"You need to slow down." Leaving his hand on my back while I take a sip of water.

"Thanks, Simon." His hand stays there until a little scruffy dog comes running over barking and trying to jump up on me. "Ringo!" I quickly look around knowing his owner must have brought him.

Jack is standing there, with a red backdrop from sky from the sun that just set staring at me sitting with Simon and his hand on my back. Not that I must explain anything to anyone, especially him, not that I need to even need to talk to him after seeing the picture in People magazine.

Jack moves fully under the thatched roof, and I can finally see his face. His eyes are haunted and his hair is overgrown. His shirt is wrinkled, and there's a stain down the front. He sees me looking at him and breaks into a smile, but it quickly disappears as Simon leans over, oblivious to Jack's arrival, and says, "I'll pick you up again on Friday. I'll bring lunch."

I can imagine what this looks like to Jack. Simon – my doctor! – and I are cuddled together at the bar where Jack and I met.
But this is an "It's not what it looks like" moment. And I don't think it compares to the picture of Jack and Lila, her sitting on his lap and his hand halfway up her bare thigh.

Why is Simon's hand on my back?

Can this get any more awkward?

Jack comes over to the bar and flags down Sarah. Then he turns to us.
"Simon. Isa." His voice is frigid with the first name, but it breaks when he says mine. He clears his throat. "You look awfully cozy. Moving on already?"

Simon stiffens behind me and I can hear his puzzlement as he says, "Isa had a coughing fit. I'm not sure I like what you're implying."


Jack goes over to the stage with the band. They all seem to be friends, although I have never met them. Jack looks horrible. More unkept than usual. Jack looks hurt.

I drop my shoulder to Simon and lean away to remove his hand from my back. I don't want it there any longer. I don't want to be here anymore.

"I'm sorry Simon. I'm very tired. I'm going bring this home to eat." I wave and to catch Sarah's attention.

"I'll walk you home."

"No, thanks." The mood has completely changed. Sarah came over. "Can I pack this to go?" she nodded, I'm sure she guessed why. I took a sip of water and bent down to give Ringo some attention, so I didn't have to deal with any human males. And, because I miss my little buddy.

Sarah brought my dinner back in a bag. "How much do I owe you?" please give me a bill.

"Hold on, I'll print it out for you." I think she got the message.

I lay down the cash. I'm not letting Jack or Simon pay for my meal. "Thanks for letting me help. I'll see you next week."

Grabbing my dinner, I head for the front door, so I don't have to walk past the band and walk home on the beach. Ringo follows me. When I get to the exit I turn and bend down. "Sorry little guy, you can't come with me." and I give him pets.

Glancing back at the band, I see Jack looking my way. He looks hurt. I feel hurt. I'm hungry and I turn and leave to go back to my villa.