(important p.s. there will be pov changes throughout this because I refused to seperate all of this into three diff chapters so just pay attention to that!! also, to my rr's who will know the reason behind the gifts rose gives Theo, don't spill our secrets xx)

third person pov

' but I love you so,
please let me go '

Down on a cobblestone pathway to the pristine graveyard, Rose and Theo walked side by side. The latter with hands tucked inside his beige coat as icy air flushed his cheeks. He didn't mean to halt upon reaching the open, gloomy gate but did. Casting his eyes around the snow covering every square inch of ground, the shiny headstones that were the only thing sticking out against the blinding white.

Rose swallowed thickly and craned her neck up to him, outstretching a leather covered hand. There was a silent vow of communication as Theo's eyes scanned her face almost too intently, nodding prior to bringing his hand out of the coat pocket and interlacing their fingers.

She guided Theo through the dark gate, bringing their embracing hands up to her lips and pressing a kiss to his bare skin. It seemed symbolic in a way to Theo, her metaphorically guiding him through the hard things. Just like he'd do for her next week. Then she'd do for him the week after that. Maybe they weren't good people. Maybe they would cause the world to fall into ruins one day because the love they shared meant neither knew any bounds when it came to the other.

But they carried a rare form of pure love, untainted by all the dark forces in life.

Nothing could change that.

Rose nodded to the left side of the vast, snowy land and dragged him off the pathway. Neither stopping until reaching the reason they came.

In loving memory of
Eleanor Maria Nott
Beloved mother and wife

Theo let out a shaky breath and released Rose's hand before kneeling atop the snow. Beginning to wipe the powdery substance from the headstone.

Rose smiled sadly and kneeled beside him, not paying attention to how the icy ground seeped
through her tights as she opened up her coat and pulled out a single red rose. A tradition of Theo's mother, always giving Rose the flower on her birthday.

Now, Rose returned the favor every time she visited the grave.

She looked over to Theo before placing the flower into the snow, "I think she'd love how much snow we got this winter...always adored Yule time"

Theo's eyes are heavy as look down at Rose. Nodding as he glides an arm around her shoulders and brings her head into himself. "I know she would" He murmurs, pressing his lips into her hair for a long while.

Rose shuddered at the feeling without hesitating to wrap her own arm around Theo's waist. Leaning up to wipe a stray tear that falls out of his eye, "She'd be so proud of you and I don't say that lightly"

Theo pulled Rose back in, resting his head on top of her own. Feeling inexplicably grateful for the presence beside of him, "I hope so"

She began to do what she always had done when they visited, something that made Theo smile every time. Rose started casually talking to his mother, catching the woman up on the life they led since she passed.

Hoping that her belief system was right and there was a way for the dead to look over them, Rose needed Eleanor Nott to understand why she was putting Theo through so much pain. If anyone knew the cruelty lying inside his father, it would be Eleanor.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Rose laughed excitedly after thirty minutes passed of recalling every annoying detail of their friends lives, her and Theo equally avoiding the topic of themselves. "We finally finished all of Oscar Wilde's books! I quite enjoyed 'De Profundis' but you were right when you wrote nothing will compare to The Picture of Dorian Gray! A class masterpiece, I don't care if they judge me for it!"

His mother had left a journal filled full of books to read with little notes and comments. It felt as if she knew her death was imminent.

Theo's eyebrows scrunched together, keeping his head on her own as he looked down confusedly. "Who is they?"

"Dunno'," She shrugged, "The people who hate on people for loving muggle classics?"

"Oh, love..." Theo let out a sad laugh, bringing his hand up to hold her head closely before looking back to the headstone. "Ro likes to believe you appreciated him greatly for not being afraid of loving who he did"

Rose nodded quickly, making Theo's head move with her own. "Teddy's not lying! Not to mention his wit was unmatched!"

Little did they know his mother was there, watching over them with a smile on her face. Wishing she could reach out and hold her boy, but thankful for the way Rose was clutching onto him tightly. Making Theo smile as they talked animatedly to her resting place. He was safe. That's all she needed to know for serenity.

After a while their knees started to go numb from kneeling and Rose leaned forward, slipping out from under his arm to place a kiss to the headstone. Whispering against the stone so Theo couldn't hear, "I'm taking care of him, I promise."

Rose stood up and dusted her tights off, wincing from the cold burn. After, she held a hand down to him, "We'll be back soon"

He nods, fingers tracing over the name etched into the headstone before taking her hand and letting her pull him up.

"Soon?" He asked as she slipped her arm back around his waist.

Rose smiled the best she could manage, speaking firm. "Soon."

Theo let out the deepest breath possible and slides his arm over her shoulders once again to guide them back toward the gate instead of forcing Rose to take the lead this time. "You mean the world to me, you know that?"

Her throat closed and she became thankful he was guiding her because the ability to walk disappeared. She had to lean into his side to keep moving with the snow crunching beneath their feet, "I—I know." Rose finally managed the words.

Once again there he was, placing a long kiss to the top of her head and holding her tightly against himself. No matter the circumstances or outer forces that tried to prevent such, it was them against the world.

There was no doubt about that.

*

Upon arriving back to the dorm Rose and Theo quickly parted from everyone, taking their gifts for each other to the astronomy tower for privacy. Not to mention they had secretly hung wacky Christmas lights there and wanted to enjoy them alone. For a day, in honor of Rose's favorite time of the year, they'd pretend everything was normal.

Just for a day.

Theo sat on the creaky wooden floor, dropping the presents down in a heap as he brung one knee up to rest his arm on. As always Rose sat cross legged in front of him and scooted to be close as possible but she was more fidgety than ever. Hands wringing together, head tucking down. Her usual aura of confidence gone because there was no where to hide from him. He saw right through her and Rose knew it as much as she wished she didn't. Not too sure if it made her even more unfathomably in love or terrified to be seen so easily.

The answer is both.

After lighting up a cigarette, Theo handed Rose two boxes with a lazy grin. "You go first"

She pursed her lips together to shove the feeling deep underground and began unwrapping the small one. Opening up the maroon box to reveal a bracelet wrapped in diamonds.

"It's beautiful, Teddy." She murmurs, running her nails down the glimmering jewels.

"Oh shut up, you've got a million of those" Theo rolled his eyes, letting the cigarettes hang between his lips before reaching forward to open up the clasp. "Read the engraving on the inside—you really think so low of me to give you simple diamonds like a fool?"

His words fell on deaf ears because against the silver was their favorite book quote.

'Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same'

Almost instantaneously her eyes began to sting, already a wreck of emotion from being in his presence. She runs her pointer finger down the words, jolting as his voice saying it fills her mind like a recording. Then, the unsolicited tears come uncalled for, "I hate you." She whispers, looking up to him with electric eyes brimming full of water. "I hate you."

Theo pulls the cigarette from his lips, laughing so beautifully it only makes her frown more. "You hate me?"

"I hate you." Rose replied as the tears broke loose. Her faces twists into a smile, a sad laugh leaving. "I love it so much..."

"Baby," Theo laughs again in disbelief, "It's our quote." He leaves the cigarette in his hand as he takes both thumbs to her cheeks, wiping the tears away. "And if there ever comes a day I can't read to you or talk to you, you can hear my voice."

Her bottom lip quivered in between smiling, "You're going to make me drown in my own tears if you keep talking, you know that, right?"

His deep eyes soften, pupils dilating as he wiped the tears one last time. Reality comes back to him and he forces a teasing tone, "Don't worry, I'll surely save you from drowning." He hides the need to take a shaky breath, placing the cigarette back in his lips. "Open up the other one for me"

Rose shook her head with a wide smile that didn't match the water coming out of her eyes. The second gift was much larger and when she looked inside, Rose became confused. Reluctantly pulling out a massive, triangular onyx stone and a container of sand that looked as if it came from the moon.

"It's a Diadon stone and Loreno powder" Theo informs with another gentle laugh at her confusion, flicking the ash from the cigarette. "The stone helps you communicate with the dead and the powder can be used to for them to take form and speak with you instead of trying to conjure their spirit from thin air..." He pauses for a brief moment, voice switching to that of a serious tone. "I know you've been trying to figure out how to speak to Regulus and I believe in you more than I believe in anything, so I'm going to help."

Now tears profusely ran down her face, voice cracking as she looked up from the stone to him. "You—you got me this for Regulus?"

He nodded and grabbed her hand, "We'll bring him back, I promise."

Theo was well aware how much of an attachment she had to the man she never met. After reading all of Regulus's journals she proclaimed that he was exactly like her in every way. That she would do everything in her power to bring him back to this world.

Rose never felt such gratitude for someone, Theo's gifts weren't just simply a gift. They all held a deep meaning. Not to mention him having no doubt about her ability to bring back Regulus made her feel like she was doing something right. Theo would never let her put herself in harms way so if he thought she could do such without hurting herself, she knew she could.

Rose weakly smiles through the tears, "Open your gifts."

Theo reluctantly picks up the first box. Opening it up to find a journal, an empty journal that makes his thick eyebrows furrow.

"Whatever you write in it will appear in mine...I oddly enough got the idea from Tom Riddle." Rose laughs quietly, "I figured it would be good for when your dad goes crazy and won't let you send letters"

Theo couldn't speak as he felt the powerful magic radiating off the pages. It would be their own thing. No one else's. Before he could even attempt to respond she shoved the next gift in his face,

"Open it!"

He lazily grinned at her enthusiasm and began peeling the funky wrapping paper off. Revealing a miniature telescope.

In an accidental rough manner, Rose shoved it up to his eyes and spoke quickly, "It will tell you how far me and Whit are when your away, that way you don't ever feel like the distance is too big...you know?"

Theo pointed the small black object into the air and looked through the glass. Sure enough it showed her name being less than a foot away and Whitman all the way in the dorms, "Salazar," He whispered, "How did you do this?"

She shrugs, going to grab his next gift, "You're the one who taught be how to alter things—I got Borgin to send it to me and adjusted the mechanisms"

He brought the telescope down with a smirk, "You talented little minx"

She gasped dramatically, "Did you just call me hot?!"

He rolled his eyes and handed her his cigarette, "I've been calling you that my whole life...ever notice?"

She giggled and signaled him to open the last gift. As the paper fell away, his expression changed to one of shock of sorrow. It was a picture of him and his mother, one he thought was lost forever. He stood beside her with a toothy grin while she was bent down to his level, ruffling his absurd hair. "How?" Theo breathed out, "How did you get this?"

Rose scooted over to sit beside him, blowing out smoke, "I figured out a spell to summon a specific object if you can pull them from memory. I remember when you lost that and how upset you were so I pulled it from my own mind" A genuine smile breaks out across her face as she runs a finger over the young version of him, "I was blushing like a boy crazy kid when Narcissa took that of you and Eleanor...I couldn't get over your stupid hair"

Theo drops the picture to the ground and wraps Rose up in his arms at once, making some of the cigarette ash roll down his back but he didn't care. He hugged Rose so tight it was likely for her lungs to give out.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." He whispered into her hair.

She went to speak when he pulled back but suddenly his lips were kissing all over her face and Rose turned into a reddening mess of laughs. Letting him mark every inch with his lips, relishing in his mutters of 'thank you' in between each kiss.

*

When nightfall rolled around Rose had taken to getting ready with Luna in the Ravenclaw dorm bathroom. Lovegood on one had was already forced into a silky purple dress Rose got sent for her, standing patiently and slightly drunk with a bottle hanging from her fingertips as she let the Black do her makeup.

Rose hadn't done anything other than her own hair, too focused and having too much fun dolling Luna up.

She pulled back from Luna to check her work, "Done! Your aura is even glowing!"

Luna peek over Rose's shoulder before smiling widely, "Oh! I look like a fairy!"

"Mhm," Rose hummed, reaching out to run her fingers through the tight blonde curls she had done to Luna's hair. "The prettiest fairy ever"

"I don't know about that," Luna whispers as she brings the bottle up, "Lots of fairies in the world, you know?"

Rose finished separating the curls with a pleased smile before tilting Luna's chin up, "Well the prettiest in my eyes and that's the only opinion that matters." She turns away after, grabbing the gemstone chain-belt meant to hang loosely off the bathroom counter. Although Rose had got Luna dress, she wasn't going to let the girl go in an outfit without some show of her own personality.

Luna gave a small cough from the strength of the liquor and lifted her arms up to let Rose wrap the chain around her waist, "And who declared your opinion to be the only one that mattered?"

Rose slowly looks up as she finishes clasping the chain in place, "Me—of course."

Luna laughs and laughs until suddenly frowning when Rose goes to grab the liquor bottle from her hands, "No! You must get ready!"

"But—"

"No if and's or but's!"

The Black gasps in fake offense, "Watch your tongue young lady!"

"Or what?" Luna teases back firmly, "Going to go back to sitting in the Gryffindor common room with Hermione or do you prefer to keep on dancing under celestial moons with me?! No one else is going to wear white dresses and praise your weird greek gods with you!"

This time Rose genuinely gasped and clutched her chest dramatically, "I am scandalized! How dare you mention that woman to me?! You know she broke my friendship heart!"

Luna let's out an accidental snort, holding up a finger to announce she needs a minute before raising her voice, "Go get ready!"

"Fine!" Rose groans in the small confines of the bathroom. Quickly walking out of the open door and yanking her dress off the bed. It was a simple black gown but beautiful. Strapless with a slit going up the leg. Form fitting at the top and loose past the waist, falling down straight instead of being skin-tight. Narcissa and Miss Zabini, who often forgot Rose was not their doll to dress up as a replacement daughter, complained heavily about wanting it to be much more extravagant but Rose insisted that she would make it seem so by simply existing.

Not even two minutes later Rose came barreling back into the bathroom, holding the front of her unzipped gown while slipping on the last to be put on heel. Being met with Luna's amused face.

"I told you I get dressed quick! It's my womanly superpower!"

"I'm just waiting for you to realize you didn't put that heel on all the way and it's jabbing into your foot" Luna spoke airily before extending a pair of gloves that matched Rose's gown, "Don't forget these"

Rose snatched the gloves away then glanced down in surprise to see she had in fact not fully put on the left heel, quickly sliding her foot all the way in. "Oops—I can't feel pain on my feet"

"What?!" Luna replied horrified.

"Help me zip this!" Rose pleaded, ignoring the question completely. No one needed a lesson on how Walburga had ruined Rose's nerve endings.

"You worry me," Luna announced as she stopped behind Rose in the mirror and pulled the zipper of the gown up "But...." She dragged out, carefully tucking Rose's curly hair behind the girl's ears. "You look beautiful—leave your hair down"

Rose grinned, beginning to slip on the gloves to where they reached her elbows before passing by Luna to grab the makeup bag. Rummaging through it until finding eyeliner, hastily applying wings to her eyes and mascara. She went to pick up a crimson colored lipstick but stopped, looking over at Luna who had taken to leaning on the counter with the bottle still in hand. "Are you sure you still want to go with the boys?"

"Of course! I hate to admit it but I miss Blaise and it'll be fun pretending with him for a night..." Luna trailed off as Rose started applying the lipstick, "I'm still shocked Whitman isn't taking some bright-eyed girl"

Rose rolled her eyes in the mirror with a mutter, "Makes me sick to think about"

"Him taking someone?" Luna laughs loudly, "Is it because you realized how good your best friend is with his mouth?"

Rose whirled her head around in shock, "Luna Pandora Lovegood!"

"I'm sorry!" Luna covers her face up to hide the drunken smile, "The alcohol is making me say crazy things!"

"Fuck sake..." Rose whispered before slowly resuming her task of putting on lipstick, lips twitching upward. "He is good with his mouth though—" She stopped herself at once and tossed the lipstick drown. "That's besides the point! I just am not prepared for the day he settles down and some other girl becomes his number one and I can't do anything about it because that's how it should be!"

"Oh Rose," Luna sighs, pushing off the counter to come stand next to Rose. Reaching to sooth the black curls down, "That isn't ever going to happen"

"Let's not focus on those silly things" Rose's lips turn into a smirk as she grabs Luna's chin and forces her to look in the mirror, "Let's focus on the fact there has never been two best friends prettier than us"

Luna raised an eyebrow at their reflections, "I'd honestly fuck myself right now—that's how good we look"

"You're kind of right...I'd definitely hook up with myself right now" Rose replied slowly. Looking over to Luna, a giggle erupting from her chest.

When it became time to go, Rose sent Luna off first. Claiming to have lost the bracelet Theo gave her and was adamant on locating it but truthfully, she had slipped it off before telling Luna to leave so she could have a moment of silence.

The Black sighed as she took out a cigarette upon the door closing behind Luna, leaning against the bathroom counter. Luckily she had ate more than usual today considering balls took so much energy, meaning fainting wouldn't be on the agenda. The location of her stress was hard to pinpoint but it didn't help that there laid so much tension with Draco. Not a word had been spoken between them except when he would nonchalantly pass her soup or some type of food.

After another cigarette and clasping the bracelet back over her gloved wrist, Rose took her time walking to the entrance of the Great Hall.

Once at the staircase she stumbled a bit from the alcohol. Looking up to see the doors closed, only the champions waiting.

Rose made eye contact with Mattheo who adorned a smile in his tux. She walked down with a laugh, not able to focus on much. As soon as Rose made it to the bottom step he held out a hand, "Thought you might not come, Rose."

She didn't reply, reaching out to adjust Mattheo's  collar instead and instantly the smell of liqour filled his nose.

"Are you drunk?"

Rose shrugged, "Tipsy"

Their moment was quickly interrupted by a frustrated Mcgongall, "Miss Black! Please line up!"

Thankful to not have to discuss much with Mattheo, Rose turned toward the professor excitedly, "Your wish is my command, Minnie!"

Mcgongall attempted to fight a smile off her face and failed as she watched Mattheo interlock his hand into Rose's and force her behind all the champions but in front Harry Potter and Parvati Patil.

"What's that Granger girl doing with Krum?" Mattheo quizzed confusedly, "I thought she was a lesbian?"

"I forgot everyone knows about that now..." Rose shifted uncomfortably at the mention of Hermione, "She is but her and the girl she likes, Padma, are friends with Krum. Apparently helping him learn English"

Mattheo looked to Rose in surprise, "How do you know that? You haven't spoke to her in months."

Cho Chang turned around in a beautiful gown, Rose gasping from her presence—too drunk to have realized before. "We have a sneaky little third year Hufflepuff who collects information on people for us"

Cedric snorted beside her, eyes trained ahead as he projected his voice backward for Mattheo to hear. "Didn't know our girlfriends created their own version of a Hogwarts private investigator, Riddle?"

Rose rolled her eyes at Cedric and grasped onto Cho's arms, "You look beautiful!"

Graceful as ever, Cho smiled gently. "So do you"

The Black giggled, throwing her arms around Cho's neck and getting the same in return around her own waist. They might not have ever became the best of friends but the two girls shared a deep understanding.

Eventually the doors opened, students lining a small pathway to the empty dance floor. Snow laid in clumps all around, ice sculptures placed in purposeful positions with pine trees marking every corner. 

Rose looked over at Mattheo as they began to walk inside, attempting to ignore the applause. "This absolutely ridiculous"

"I need to ask you something," He speaks through a plastered smile, "Where were you all morning?"

Her features fell into a tense, close-lipped grin for the crowd as she whispers, "Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."

They steeped into the open dance floor, halting and facing one another. Mattheo smirked but it was filled with malice, his hand slipping onto her waist as the other fell into her palm—music beginning to ring out triumphantly. "Remember what the letter said next time you sneak off to spend the day with him."

She carefully pressed her heel into his foot as a warning, appearing to the outer eye as simply dancing in the most perfected way. "Forget about it and have fun with me or I will quite literally break your toe"

"Fine." Mattheo grunted.

From afar Dumbledore glanced to his left at Mcgongall, watching how Mattheo lifts Rose into the air. "She seems happy, yes?"

Mcgongall couldn't take her eyes off the pair as their smiles never slipped, gazes never leaving each other. Rose laughing everytime he picked her up filling the professors ears, "It seems...wrong" She looked to the outer edges of the crowd where Theo stood in a black suit without a tie, his fingers rising up the adjust the open-collared white shirt as if he needed air he couldn't get to. "Doesn't seem right, Albus."

"Let us not worry" Dumbledore replied calmly, reaching a hand to Mcgongall. She huffed and took ahold of it, letting him guide her out onto the floor with many students starting to join.

theo pov

There I am, watching him spin Ro around. In a room full of people she was the only one I could keep my eyes on. Sometimes I wonder if I'm destined, destined to watch her from the sidelines.

Looking at him run his hands all over her body and smiling at her, it really fucking hurt.

Everything about it hurt, feeling as if someone was taking a knife to my gut and stabbing repeatedly. Taunting me and letting me know she would never be mine.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts as Draco returns back from the drinks table to stand next to me. He lifts a golden goblet to his lips, containing what I assume is whiskey from the stench that fills my nose. "Annoying, isn't it?"

I shrugged, sadly smiling as Rose threw her head back with laughter in the distance. "Don't know what you mean, Draco."

He follows my eyeline before his jaw sets in place tightly, inclining his head toward me. "Tell her, Theo."

The simple demand makes me break my gaze from Rose, stuttering for what feels like the first time in my life, "I—I can't."

Draco gives me an unimpressed look and returns to sipping from the goblet as his eyes trail over to Rose. Nothing could've ever quite prepared me for the rant that stumbled out of his mouth immediately after.

"Skip the denial Theo, you need to tell her before it's too late. Soon enough she'll let herself really commit to him, that bastard will slowly start to fill the holes you once did to the best of his ability. Rosie will try to love him as much as she loves you but fail miserably. We'll graduate and you'll watch as she kisses him shamelessly, ready to leave this school together and start a life. They'll buy a house and you'll come over to help her paint, but you won't be the one who gets to sleep in that room with her. He'll get down on one knee and she'll say yes. Then come running to you and tell you the news, expecting you to be joyful." Draco paused because his voice is now a mix of spite and holding a shake, the words seeming hard for him to speak into existence. "You'll stand by and watch her do every milestone you wanted to take with her, with him. I mean, you'll probably walk her down the aisle just to give her away to someone else. I will be there watching you clap for her as I struggle to breathe at the scene before me."

I have to make him stop, I can't handle hearing this out loud. "Draco—"

But he doesn't quit speaking, "Then as the world starts to move on around you, it'll be years and you'll still be stuck in the same place you've been since childhood, hopelessly in love with her. No girl, no matter how interesting or bright, will ever compare to Rosie in our eyes...it's all futile to attempt acting like there's a world where anyone ever falls out of love with her."

I'm stunned into silence as he turns to face me now, a look of anger across his features.

"Why are you telling me this?" My voice quietly breaks, "Telling me what you need to hear?"

Draco stayed still as a statue.

"You could go confess right now," I say with a hint of blossoming anger, "Sweep her off her feet and leave me out in the cold."

Draco scoffs as if I had said the most preposterous thing possible, "I'm not foolish enough to think there's a world where Rosie exists without you..No, you've never been friends." He's practically sneering at me, forcing himself to look away because admitting all of this is clearly hurting his massive ego. "Just like I was never her friend. The difference is you two were much better at acting than me...You're two halves of a whole and I'm not a kid anymore, I can shove my ego down enough to see that I can't possibly stand in front of you and say I love Rosie then turn around and ask her to let go of you."

"It feels like you purposely trying to torture me by saying all of this." My words come out so harsh his head snaps back to me, "You know she chose being with him over even being my friend."

"Think about it for five seconds you idiot!" Draco voice goes as loud as it can without anyone else hearing, "In what fucking world does it make sense for Rosie, the girl we've known our whole lives, to choose him over you?! Something else is going on and you have to see that!"

I clench my jaw to avoid punching him in the face. It's not his fault but he's here and I'd love to punch him to relieve some of my anger. "What do you suspect me to do, huh?!"

His free hand clamps my shoulder, "We're going to get our girl back," He points to my chest with a finger wrapped around the goblet, "And you're going to help me do it."

I close my eyes. It felt as if my love for Ro was turning into the ocean. Stuck under a riptide, trying to pull myself up for air but the current won't let me for even a second. It was never ending, except I didn't get the sweet release of death. I drowned in her over and over and over, doomed to repeat the process for all eternity.

The sad part is that it wouldn't matter if someone threw me a raft to pull me out of this metaphorical ocean, I would simply push it away—incapable of not loving her.

There was not a single thing on this earth that could keep me away from Ro, even death couldn't truly be a sweet release. Death would secure me in it's grasp only to spit me back out as I fought my way to the land of the living, coming right back to my girl. Nothing will ever be able to prevent me from standing by Ro's side, even if the world was burning—I'd hold her hand with a peaceful smile.

I don't like to think of myself as some superior human, but when it comes to loving Ro, I do. It wouldn't matter how many great men came along, promised her the world. They would never be able to fathom the love I held for her. They would see parts of her and think they knew it all. But they never could truly know her like I do, appreciate her like I do. Our souls talked in ways words were incapable of forming.

Rose once said she looks for me in every person she meets, that I was the blueprint, that no matter what no one could compare. I wish she knew how much those things affected me. I wish she knew how much it affected me when she told me she loved me. I wish she could see that she chipped away a piece of my will to live every time she smiled up at him.

I could feel her slipping, slowly being pulled to intertwine with another soul. I held every piece of her inside of me for as long as I could remember and now, slowly but surely, she was trying to reach into me and start pulling those pieces out. Trying to bury them into someone else.

I just wanted her. I didn't want anything else. I didn't want her body, I didn't want her beauty, I didn't want her support, I didn't want her to have to heal, I didn't want to own her. I just wanted her, as she was. Nothing needed to be changed and I needed nothing more.

Ro is the oxygen I breathe and as I felt myself losing her, my throat began to close with my lungs collapsing.

Please Ro, help me breathe again.

I didn't realize Draco had left until I noticed Ro practically running over to me by herself. Stopping in her tracks when she stood a foot away.

A beautiful, painful smile spread across her face as her fiery eyes scanned me from head to toe. "Prettiest boy to ever exist"

My usual steady hands no longer existed as I shakily reached up and held her left cheek, being placed into a state of painful awe to know someone so intricately beautiful existed. "You look how poetry feels—does that make sense?"

Her lips parted and her throat bobbed, chest rising up rapidly.

I pressed my thumb over the sharp edge of her cheekbone and tugged her closer by the grip I held. Eyes scanning every inch of the black gown, the raven curls, the ridge of her lips painted in crimson, the glossy gaze from the emotion she carried—I realized she was so dark. Dark like every ominous, tempting, and sinister being in the world. So much so I felt enveloped in my own version of dark paradise by simply looking at her, begging internally to be swallowed hole inside of running away.

How is it someone could be so representational of the things that go bump in the night but shine like the brightest fucking star to exist in all of the galaxies?

It doesn't even feel right to compare to something as simple as a star.

To me, she's every phase of the moon, every rise of the sun, every colossal explosion of a star that creates a supernova, every gust of wind that calls me home.

"Theodore," Ro interrupts my thoughts with a rare use of the full name. A pained looks crosses her face as she pulls my hand from her cheek. "You—you can't touch me like that...I can't handle it."

I straighten up with stiffening muscles, gliding my hands into the slack pockets. My voice comes out blunt, "What are we doing?"

She screws her chin upward, a mask of defiance I could recognize from a mile away taking form. "I'm not doing this with you. Today was an exception, we cannot go back to how things were."

I let out a scoff of laughter, hardly holding any humor. "Do you want to know what your problem is?"

Truthfully, I should've know that question would instantly anger her. Definitely not my brightest moment but right now I'd do anything to see any sort of emotion on her face.

And I do as Ro purses her lips, speaking crudely, "Oh please do tell me what my problem is."

She never was one for keeping her cool.

"You hate that when you're with me you have to accept the darkest parts of yourself—have to actually let everything you believe are flaws be shown," I say calmly while also being unable to hide the slight shake of anger to my voice as she sucks in a rush of air. "You can go on with Mattheo and pretend you're some clueless girl who is busy being corrupted by her big, bad boyfriend and doesn't care about the people around her but I'll know."

She averts her watery eyes away, "Stop."

I roll my shoulders back uncomfortably, keeping both hands in my pockets despite the urge to force her to look at me because I'm terrified of showing how awfully they'll shake. "I'll always know the truth of who you are and no matter what you do you'll never be able to make him into me—never, ever be able to escape my voice that replays in your mind."

Still, Ro refuses to look at me. Voice just as harsh, "You don't understand."

I didn't mean to sound so desperate and pleading but I did, "Then make me understand!"

She speaks in a broken whisper, "If I told you..." Her eyes move back onto my own and I take a deep breath to see how many tears are about to spill from her waterline, "If I told you I loved him, that I'm happy with him...would you let me go?"

Horror strikes my face, jaw so tight it feels as if it might break. "I cannot let go of you."

"But you'd pretend for me?" She asks quietly as the crowd continues on unknowingly around us, "You'd pretend to be happy for me if I loved him?"

Even if it ruins me.

I reach for her cheek, unable to resist wiping the tear that falls from her eye. "I'd do anything for you, anything at all."

"Then I love him!" She blurts out, appearing horrified immediately after saying the words and gasping at herself.

Time seemed to slow and my hand drops as my facial expression turns to the pure picture of pain. No. This couldn't be real. She couldn't love him. Those words held a different meaning then thinking your in love. If she loved him that meant there was no coming back from it. I felt like someone just ripped my soul in half and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Beg Ro to realize what was right in front of her.

The pain I felt was something I didn't think possible and my heart was pounding so quickly in my chest I thought it might stop. I didn't even realize I was crying until she reached her hand up and wiped under my eyes with a tearful, worried expression.

"Theo...I'm sorry—I'm so fucking sorry."

I took the shakiest breathe I ever have and it almost sounded like a whimper as the tears started to roll down quickly. Speaking with a shattered voice, "Are you being serious? You....him?"

She started to use both of her hands to wipe my eyes. Whispering along with a stutter, "I'm so—so sorry. If I could fix time and maybe make things different—"

"Stop." I attempt to demand harshly but I only sound weak, grasping both her wrists and pulling them away from my face. There's no possible way to handle this.

"Times not on our side, Theo." She mutters weakly, cutting a hole out of my chest. "It never has been and you know that but you can't understand why I have to—"

"Just stop." I beg.

Ro quickly goes to wipe her own flood of tears, sucking her bottom lip in between a row of teeth to prevent any sound escaping.

And I close my eyes, not even thinking about how I was crying in a room full of people. It's times like these I don't believe in any sort of higher power because no one would want any soul to feel like this. Pressure in the back of my skull kept building and building up. I needed to leave. I needed to throw up. I tried my best to speak without opening my eyes again, my voice sounded even more broken than before, "I can't look at you right now."

Lies.

All I need is to look at her.

She tried to grab my hand but failed as I quickly disappeared into the crowd and exited the ball. Just as planned, I rushed to the bathroom and threw everything up. It seemed so dramatic but I cannot help how violently ill it makes me to hear her say she loves him. Ro wouldn't lie about something that big. Impossible.

Then I sat on the floor, resting my back against the cold stall wall with my head in my hands.

It wasn't just my heart and brain that couldn't take watching her with him any longer, my body couldn't either.

I love her more than anyone could and I don't say that pridefully. I say it because it's the truth. Even she know it deep down.

The sound of fast-paced footsteps fill my ears and half inside the stall. "Theo—"

Whitman.

I look up as he crouches down next to me, thankful it was only him. I didn't bother wiping my eyes or concealing the pain, "She told me...she told me she loves—" I stopped my sentence, unable to say the words. Maybe if I didn't speak it out loud it wouldn't feel real.

That's right, just don't say it out loud. I repeat to myself multiple times.

Whitman fully sat down beside me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Taking a deep breath before opening his mouth, "She doesn't love him, Theo. Something else is going on."

I let out a sob that I haven't experienced since my mother passed, "I can't—I can't fucking do this Whitman" My voice cracked between every word, "It hurts...it hurts so badly"

He pulls me closer to him, "I know, I really do."

My body started to rack with another sob, looking over at him in desperation. "Please make it stop, I'm begging you..."

Whitman simply gives me a pained look of understanding, "Just breathe for me."

I shook my head as my sobs started to join together, "No—I need her Whit! Don't you fucking understand? I need her!"

All of the sudden he's grabbing onto my face, "Theo! You have to breathe!"

I told myself to do what he wanted, but the walls were closing in. More bile rose in my throat and my vision blurred as I grasped onto his arms with a croaking voice, "Oblivate me...Do anything because I can't fucking take it anymore!"

Whitman's eyes brim with his own tears from witnessing me in such a state, "I will not do that..."

My cries sounded mute as my throat couldn't take letting out the sound anymore and Whitman pulled me into his chest. Rubbing my back, clearly not knowing what to say. I'd never felt more broken. I tried to fight out of his hold, "I'm begging you to just take it all away..."

"Please just think about what you're asking me to do...please."

I give in, letting my head fall onto his chest. Whitman was right. I couldn't oblivate her out of my mind. I knew in my heart that I would fall in love with her all over again, even with no recollection of our past.

And I cried into his chest, I don't know how long I did so. The sound echoing in the bathroom. Attempting to take deep breath's but failing miserably. Eventually, quietly choking out my own words as I moved my head back and forth against him, "I love her and I don't understand why this is happening..."

Whitman nodded and held me tightly with the sound of a broken man filling his ears, "I know Theo. I really do know."

third person pov

After Theo left, Rose found Whitman and sent him after the boy. Refusing to explain the reason behind her own tears. She became a statue after that, sipping from a flask while standing next to Mattheo who chatted with two Slytherins she couldn't name.

"Miss Black," Dumbledore greeted, snapping all of the teenagers attentions over to him. He looked disapprovingly at the flask in between Rose's fingers until she begrudgingly handed it off to Mattheo. "Very well—dance with me now?"

"Thank Merlin," Rose muttered and held out a hand, "Thought you'd never ask"

Dumbledore led her out onto the floor with a grateful smile. Stopping near the center and initiating a casual waltz.

The headmaster pondered aloud as he spun Rose under his arm, "I wonder if I'll be doing this with you at your wedding one day, watching you settle down...get that house by the water you always wanted?"

Rose snorted in a drunken stupor, "You know me Dumbles, no man could possibly tame me enough for marriage."

He chuckled and dipped her down. Rose found humor in the looks people were giving her, not getting a response from the man until he brought her back up.

"I don't doubt that"

Her heart did a flip, feeling guilt thinking about his one true love out of the blue from her own yearning for Theo. She always assumed Dumbledore was gay, which was probably not right to assume about but still, she never knew he had a tragic love story until recently. Rose couldn't refrain from wondering if he ever got to dance with Grindelwald, the famous dark wizard. "Have you always enjoyed dancing?"

Dumbledore nods smoothly, "You forget how long I have been around, I know many dances..."

She smirked up at him with an idea, "So there is a possiblity of me convincing you to show me those moves when the Weird Sisters come?"

He shook his head with a smile, "I'm afraid my back would give out, but don't doubt that I wouldn't still take you down in a dance off!"

Rose laughed heartily at the man she had come to admire, the man who taught her control over her power, the man who believed in her. "We'll have to test that theory before you get so old I have to push you around in a muggle wheelchair...we both know I'm the only one who will actually be able to put up with you when you become decrepit and senile"

He raised his eyebrows in amusement, "Odd things, are they not? Little chairs with wheels?"

"Interesting that's for sure," She shrugs, "Muggles deserve more credit than given"

Hours upon hours later the ball slowly started to clear out and Rose had become too sober to handle her mind. She's too tired. Her feet hurt. Head ached, and all she wanted to do was leave.

"You want to leave?" Mattheo asked as they stood off to the side.

She nodded and prepared to speak when Draco and Blaise popped up out of nowhere.

Blaise immediately yanked away the flask she began to pull out of the hidden gown pocket, "Let's get the fuck out of here and get wasted. Luna is waiting by the doors"

Draco tutted disapprovingly, a devilish smirk masking his face. "Dance with me, Rosie."

Shocked, the only word she had to describe how the question made her feel. The tension between them was heavier than it had ever been and he had the nerve to ask for such. Rose opened her mouth to protest, "Absolutely not."

His smirk never faltered, "One dance. For old times sake, of course."

That stupid little smirk. It would be her end.

Rose looks up to Mattheo, "Go ahead and leave with Blaise, I'll come up to your room later on."

Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise and held his ring-clad hand out. She took it with a stern facial expression as a form of scolding. But still, let's Draco guide her out to the center of the room. A decent amount of people gathered on the floor as the music switched to a more classical song.

Blaise shot Draco a wink and yanked Mattheo away. Despite having taking a liking to the Riddle, Blaise had priorities and one of them would be seeing Rose with Draco. Step one of his mission to make everything whole again.

Rose didn't let her face show any emotion as they dipped their heads down in sync and moved forward. Slipping one hand up each, connecting their palms while using their thumbs to hold on.

This was a dance they knew all too well and their movements flowed together as a never ending river. Something about dancing that portrayed emotion in a way one could not describe.

Draco nor Rose let their eyes leave each other as they moved in a circle before switching hands and repeating the same movement.

Eventually his hand came onto Rose's waist and the other slipped slipped their fingers together. The tension felt almost too thick as he twirled her around and brought her back to his chest, breath fanning down in her neck in a way that had Rose struggling to focus.

And when their eyes met again Draco smirked, "Did you miss your favorite dance partner, Miss Black?"

She sucked in a sharp breathe as he brought her closer to his chest, "This changes nothing."

He slid his hand up to crane her neck. Whispering, "No one could quite keep up with your movements like me"

Rose begged the outforces for the gift of being able to look away from his piercing, gray eyes but could not find the will to do so.

Dumbledore watched triumphantly with Mcgongall. Holding his palm out as she slid him five sickles, "And to think, I almost thought I would lose the bet..."

"Oh shut up, Albus!"

Draco dipped Rose down fluidly. Her breath catching when he brought her back up to where only centimeter existed between them. He watched her gaze soften, knowing she didn't even realize it had happened.

As soon as the song ended Rose went to briskly leave but was stopped by his hands latching onto her waist and a simple phrase.

"Stay." Draco said, every usual edge to his voice gone.

Rose couldn't say no, only hate herself for listening as she slowly slid her hands around his neck with the music switching over to a soft melody.

"I can't keep doing this with you, Draco."

Their bodies swayed with Draco looking down at her solemnly, "I think we both know we'll never escape each other"

She felt a rush of emotion overcome her, his eyes still glued to her own creating too much indescribable emotion, "This isn't healthy. We aren't healthy together."

Neither were aware of only a few people still dancing, the Great Hall emptying out rapidly.

He uses on hand to trace the bare skin on her back, such an unusual air of openness in his voice, "What isn't healthy is denying how much you mean to me"

His fingers inch higher while her eyes round and glass over, Rose manages a whisper, "You need to let me go, Draco."

The idea made a look of hurt contort his face, "What you ask of me is impossible."

She leans her head against his chest, taking in the scent that had been filling her nose for years upon years. "I know." Rose mumbled quietly as she listened to his heartbeat.

"You're imbedded into my soul, in every inch of my bones—" Draco paused with an unsteady inhale, wishing to stay in this moment of peace forever. "There's no letting go and I'm so sorry for ever acting like it was a possibility."

The moment of truth she waited far too long for. Rose didn't know what to say except that she didn't want this to end, "Just hold me—for a little longer."

"Okay, Rosie." He said quietly, resting his head down atop her own.

The pair stayed in that position for an enormous amount of time. Just letting one another feel that sense of home neither had gotten for so long. Even when they became friends again or simply treaded the line of lovers, it stayed hard to keep up with because there laid so many secrets and so much anger between them.

But now almost everything was on the table, giving them nothing to hide behind.

That simple fact was terrifying.

Draco lifted his head to realize they were the only ones left inside the Great Hall. Every single person had left. Rose followed his movements before hastily stepping away. Giving a shake of her head, then rushing out of the hall and into the eerily empty courtyard.

Nothing in him hesitated to follow after her with a long sigh. Finding Rose far away at the archway leading out of the courtyard and onto the grounds of Hogwarts, her shoulder leaning into the stone column, back facing him.

Stopping a few feet away he yelled, "I know you have things you want to say to me so just say them!"

She refused to turn around, the coldness of her voice making a return, "I have nothing to say to you."

Draco moved closer, "We both know that's not true..."

Rose took a deep breath before turning around with a new sense of anger filling her, "I told you I cannot do this! It's too much!"

The same anger quickly took him over, mixed with frustration. "You can't do this? How do you think I feel?!"

She took a step forward, closing the distance between their bodies. "I wouldn't know because you are incapable of speaking your mind when it matters!" Rose spit the words out. Going to move around him so he would have no time to respond and he almost lets her leave, almost.

But he can't.

Not this time.

Draco turns after her, voice shaking, "I always wanted it to be you too."

The realization of what he was referring to sent her body into a halt, breath catching loudly. "No," She whispered before turning around. Speaking with a wavering tone, "No, Draco. Don't."

He rushed towards her again with desperation coming out, "You have to hear me out"

She started walking toward the side of the courtyard in a flustered attempt of escaping him, "Please don't. Don't do this."

He shook his head fervently while following her movements, "You have taken my soul and you damn well know that!"

Rose stepped back against the stone wall, placing a hand on his chest as he halted breathlessly in front of her. "Stop!"

"No." Draco stated plainly in refusal and scooped her face up between his palms, "I've done everything—everything in my power to hide how I feel but it's futile."

Her anger stayed as he towered over, not loosening his hold on her face. "You don't get to do this! Not now!" Rose practically pleads, taking in a sharp breath.

"I know, I know," Draco breathed out, his hands caressing her cheeks and thumb sliding over her bottom lip as he fought every restraint to not press their lips together. "I'm selfish and cruel but I won't do this any longer...you ask so much of me when you have no idea of how you plague my mind"

"Look at us!" Rose demanded, weakly trying to move her face from his grip but finding it impossible with how he touched her. She pushes on his chest, "We are a mess! We would fight, eat each other alive! It would ruin the both of us! I am not what you want in your life in that way! I am full of rage and atrocities, I despise everything that your beliefs consist of!"

He took one hand off her face to slam it against the wall, "I do not care! How long will it be until you can get it through your fucking mind that everything you hate about yourself I love?!"

She gasped quietly, watering eyes widened in pure shock. "There would be no recovering!" Rose whisper-yelled, "We are too complicated, Draco..."

"Love isn't supposed to be simple." Draco replied lowly. Leaning his forehead against her own, mumbling the words he never thought he'd have the nerve to say, "So break my heart, stomp on my soul, tear me to pieces. Do whatever you wish to me, just don't make me go on without you."

Her lips parted and suddenly the thumb he had caressing her bottom lip felt as if weighed a million pounds. For once she was genuinely silenced, overcome by unbridled emotion as two thick streams of water slipped from her eyes.

"I—" Draco begins, tightening his hold on her face and lifting his head up enough to where their noses could still brush. His voice tremors with emotion, "I love you. I loved you when we were kids, I loved you when you were supposed to be my enemy, I love you now, and I'll love you on my deathbed. I—I can't hide it any longer and I'm so sorry for that."

Her chest heaves, forcing Rose to move upward on the wall to where their lips brush. "Draco," She doesn't mean for it to happen but a small whimper leaves her lips amongst the tears, hands reaching to grasp his arms.

"I know I'm selfish to say it out loud but you have to know," Draco mutters to the best of his ability. Purposely brushing his mouth Rose's this time, pulling her bottom lip down as he struggles to breath properly, "You are the epitome of the only light beam in this world and I search for you in every face and person I meet—I'm so in love with you that it's eating me alive and has been for the entirety of my existence..."

And she smiles, smiles so big she can taste her own tears but that doesn't matter. He loves her and he's proclaiming it out loud as if it's killing him. She's glad because it's killing her too.

"Draco, I—"

He cuts her off with a weak voice, "You don't have to say it back, Rosie—"

Now she's cutting him off by grabbing his face firmly. "I...I love you," She struggles to say because too many years of fighting the truth off her tongue made the words foreign.

His body presses against Rose, collapsing all of his weight on her, "What?..." Draco breathed out in the shakiest voice she had ever heard, forehead dropping back down onto her own. If he wasn't so clouded by the tightening feeling inside his chest then Draco would've surely hated himself for having to squeeze his eyes shut as they filled with the water. That feeling inside his chest only grew tighter and tighter.

"I love you." Rose states much more firmly, fingers soothing over his sharp cheekbones, internally begging him to open his eyes. "I never stopped loving you, not even for a minute and I tried so hard to make you my enemy or the villain of my story but I couldn't because you're—" She swallows the lump formed inside her throat, quietly sniffling, "You're always going to be the love of my life, in this one and the next..."

Draco's eyes snap open and release a flood of tears all at once. His face is more pained than she's ever saw from him, unlike before though this look is from growing up and falling in love with Rose. Then having falling out after falling out only to be able to finally shove his ego down enough to see it would always be her who fully knew and understood him. The idea that she never stopped loving him despite the arguements and pain is almost too much to physically handle.

She goes to stretch her fingers enough to wipe his tears gently, "Draco, I—"

He kisses her. He kisses her so deeply, so very deep it's as if he thinks he'll never get the chance to do so again. Rose gasps into his mouth at the sudden contact she had been wishing for since the first time it ever happened and let's Draco push every ounce of his body against her, keeping them both pinned tightly to wall as his fingers dig into her cheeks. He doesn't stop at her shock, only continues to kiss Rose until her limbs melt and fingers intertwine through his snowy hair.

Eventually, he pulls back just enough to breathlessly mumble against her lips, "I love you so much."

Rose doesn't get the chance to say it back, she barely gets the chance to take a breath before he's kissing her again. His fingers winding into her hair, other hand coming down to grasp her thigh and bring her leg up to his hip so they can be as close as humanly possible.

The kiss never turns rough in the wrong way, renaming deep and sensual until her knees give out and she's desperately tugging on his hair. Passionate, such a passionate kiss that when he slips his tongue into her mouth Rose groans at the feeling.

Draco never stopped.

Kissing her for so long that the concept of time slipped away into oblivion.

And then there came a moment where the kiss was no longer enough.

Rose yanked on his hair hard enough to pull their puffy lips apart, instantly going to undo his tie as slid his fingers up her thigh with warmth.

But then the sound of distance voices roaming the far off school sounded in her ears, reality coming back all at once. Rose let's go of the tie and forces her leg to the ground, eyes darting to the left where the doors are propped open. Draco's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, grabbing her chin just in time to hear Rose speak, "I—I can't....hook up with you until I break up with him. I don't want to start things between us with bad karma."

Draco frowned deeply but for a much different reason than Rose thought, "Don't call me a bloody hook up after telling me you love me!"

A shocked smile breaks out onto her face, reaching for his hand that goes to soothe over her cheek. "Draco," She laughs breathily, stunned by his face still covered in disturbance.

He tilts his chin downward to be closer once again, sliding another hand onto her cheek, "It's offensive, Rosie."

"What?" She asks with a loving smile at his dramatic energy, "You prefer me to call it love ma—"

"Don't call it that..." Draco interrupts quickly, pausing to shudder, "You'll sound like Blaise"

"Oh really now?" Rose laughs and laughs, dragging her fingers down the collar of his suit.

His lips twitch upward before he takes Rose's chin and lifts it up until their lips brush, "I don't have to fuck you right now...I have the rest of my life to do that." Draco feels almost embarrassed at what he has to say next although he doesn't appear to be from how confidently he nips at her bottom lip, "What I really need you to do is just kiss me until I know it's real because there's still a ninety-ninety percent chance I'm dreaming about this again—"

"Shut up," Rose says through a smile. Pressing up on the tip of her heels, yanking him in for a kiss by his collar.

His eyes widen in shock at how roughly she press their lips together before he's suddenly grasping onto her shoulders, almost lifting her off the ground to get more and more.

When Rose and Draco made it back to their dorm much later, his hand stayed clutching her gloved one tightly, both equally seeming to hold the need to stop outside the door.

Draco's throat bobbed as he looked down at her, "Well be okay, right, Rosie? I don't know how you want things to go but..."

Rose gave his fingers a tight squeeze, letting her eyes wonder him over his elegant features, "We'll be okay—go slow and figure everything out as it comes. Let's just enjoy tonight."

He stared at her too long to possibly fathom, attempt to keep the imagine of Rose engrained into his brain as if it hadn't always been.

Thin patience.

Rose's curse.

She rolled her eyes and forcibly tugged him into the dorm, not surprised by all the lights being off and all the curtains closed around the beds.

Out of respect Rose whispered up to him, "We must've been gone for a long time..."

His lips twitched up, "I guess so"

"Help me" She demanded with sly grin, tugging him into the bathroom.

He became shocked when the door closed and she turned her back to him with a simple question, "Unzip me?"

His heart stopped.

"Seriously?" She asked to the air before looking over her shoulder, "You've quite literally been inside of me but can't take off my dress?"

His eyes widened, snapping out it, "You are so vulgar..." Draco mutters with an eye roll. Going to push her head forward and grab the zipper all at once.

She smiled in the mirror at the concentration that takes over his face, "Being vulgar is a speciality"

"Mhm," Draco hums eyes lifting up to steal a glance at her, lips twitching upward. His head shakes and he begins pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow, making sure to brush his knuckles over every inch of skin.

When he reached the bottom chills casted across her body, something that made him continue to trace her open back. She didn't move, letting the boy who seemed like ice but had a touch as warm as the sun do as he pleased.

His fingers traced over the scar across her spine, lips falling down to kiss the mark softly as she held the front of the gown up.

"I'm going to get some clothes, okay?" Draco murmured against her skin.

"Okay." She breathed out.

They equally had a piece of themselves ache from losing touch as he tore away from her. 

Draco returned to the bathroom shortly after, holding one of Theo's sweater through a crack in the door while telling her he'd wait inside the dorm because he, quote on quote, couldn't handle watching her change.

The Malfoy looked up from the edge of his bed where he sat with Lyra crawling around when Rose walked out, all the makeup and fancy clothes gone. A frown plastered on her face and arms crossed, eyes focused on Theo's bed.

Draco reaches out, grasping onto the backs of her thighs and tugging her in between his legs. She looks down at him with a pained smile, going to brush a strand of white from his face.

"Go" says Draco.

She stutters, "What?"

"Go to him." Draco demands plainly, gently rubbing his hand down her legs.

"I can't." Rose speaks defensively, gaze darting away to avoid Draco's eyes. "I—I had to do something awful to protect him tonight and...." She pauses, throat bobbing. "I just told you I love you, I should be with you right now—I want to be with you right now because it still doesn't feel real."

"Exactly, you told me you love me." He smiles so brightly it makes her mouth move upward as she focuses on him once again. "So go see him and don't worry about me because I'll be sleeping peacefully to know I have everything I ever wanted."

Her lips part, "Draco..."

"Go." He says much more firmly, "We have the rest of our lives....but I do need a favor"

"What?"

His smile twists into a smirk, "Kiss me one more time"

A sad laugh leaves Rose before she leans down, tilting his chin up gently and pressing their lips together. His hand leave her thighs and goes to grab onto her cheeks, pulling the girl in for more. He almost pulls Rose into the bed, almost just but doesn't.

Instead Draco moved back with flushed cheeks, clearing his throat to push down the laugh of happiness wishing to come out, "Go before I change my mind"

"Okay, okay..." She smiles, acting as if she about to step away but places a quick kiss to his forehead before doing so. Rose straightens up, ignoring the groan he makes at the loss. "Okay! I can do this!"

Draco grins at her anxiousness and the fact this girl, this girl loved him. "You can do this, love."

Before her brain can kick into high gear and ruin any chance of her actually seeing Theo, Rose crosses over the room quickly, giggling to herself at Draco calling her love.

The happiness dies out though as she reaches Theo's curtains and slips inside.

There he is.

Sleeping peacefully with extremely puffy eyes.

Rose felt sick to her stomach as she pulled his covers back and laid down next to him. A part of her realized how foolish this was, how unfair she was being but in her mind all of this had to happen.

"I'm so sorry" Rose whispered to his sleeping body, adjusting the comforter up to their necks. Bringing a hand up to his cheek and pointedly touching the freckle under his left eye.

Ever so slowly, Theo stirred awake, eyes fluttering open. Thinking he was dreaming when he saw her looking at him intently, "Ro?"

Nodding, Rose moved closer and intertwined her legs with his own. "I'm here."

He rubbed his face before putting an arm around her waist, "I missed you"

She felt the overwhelming urge to cry, being wrapped up in his warmth too much for her to bare. Rose's words come out weak, "I'm so sorry..."

Theo feels his gut painfully twist, grabbing onto her face to tilt it down, kissing her forehead and keep his lips there. His voice hoarse from the mental breakdown and sleep, "I wish I could hate you..."

She took a sharp intake of breath, turning her grip to be tight on his cheek, "I know."

His lips leave her forehead, eyes stinging with new tears. Heart unable to take it anymore but at least she was here, with him. That was all that mattered.

"Ro, I—" Theo's voice cracks and she wishes to look away because seeing a tear fall from his eyes, the droplet running over her thumb, makes her want to die. "I can't make it without you,"

"I know." She repeats in a broken whisper, mournfully wiping his eyes but it's all in vain, the tears keep coming and it's destroying her to witness. "I can't," Rose mutters, "I can't make it without you either."

"Please just tell me you didn't mean it," Theo begs before adjusting himself, burying his head into her neck and pulling on her waist so tightly that he starts to lay atop of her body. Shuddering as she weaves her fingers through his hair, holding him down so he cannot leave. "Tell me you don't love that boy..." He pleads against her throat so sadly that the dam of tears break loose from her eyes.

She shouldn't be honest.

Really shouldn't.

But Rose cannot deal with him thinking she loves someone else.

"I don't love him. I lied."

And that's when he truly loses it all over again, clutching into her for dear life. He cries. She cries. He sobs. She sobs. For so long that time slips away. There's something awfully twisted about the comfort it brings them both to know they are equally ruined by their situation, equally as destroyed without the other.

________________________________

A/N: did everyone enjoy the rollercoaster??

—MISSED U GUYS <33

—okay so can we please just discuss how Theo talks about Rose? How he thinks about her? They are the epitome of the word love and it HURTS. Rose and Theo 🤝🏻 work song and take me to church by hozier

—on a happier note, Draco confession? Draco growing up? Draco being a good friend? I LOVE HIM. The fact he was so giddy and not being selfish....</3

—excited to dive into Luna and Rose's friendship omg

—fourth year is almost over someone praise the writing gods....I need happy Rose and Theo relationship to live !! these next few chapter will come out quick quick

xx bri