"Stay gold Ponyboy, stay gold."

Those five words ring through my head every waking minute. The sound of the heart monitors going flat, the gun shots that took Dallas Winston's life. Even the taunting voice of Bob Sheldon, who's the reason my best friend, and lover, is gone.

I can't take this anymore. I miss him man, I miss him so much. Johnny was everything to me, just the sound of his voice was enough to make me smile wildly. His tan skin littered in scars, his dark greasy hair falling over his eyes. His big brown puppy eyes, I wish more than anything that I could look into those eyes one more time.

But I can't.

I finally arrived at the graveyard, today it's been exactly a month since I lost him. Course I miss Dallas too, but Johnny...

I make my way with ease through the gravestones, I've been here more times to count so I know my way pretty well.

I get to the two little stones in the far corner. The first one is black granite with the words

Dallas Winston

1947-1965

Gallant Hoodlum.

The second stone was quartz, the whole gang had chipped in for the graves. Johnny and Dally's parents hadn't even bothered showing at the funeral.

I had chosen Johnny's engravings.

Johnny Cade

1949-1965

Little Brother, Lover, Best Friend.

The tears came heavier from my eyes, I wipe them away with the sleeve of Johnny's jacket. I've warn it everyday since he died. Sodapop and Darry are worried, I hate to do this to them. I just can't take it, I thought I could but I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even talk for more than a minute without getting exhausted or starting to bawl.

This is all just too much.

I pull the metal object out from my pocket and kneel infront of Johnny Cade's grave.

"It should've been me Johnny. it should've been me I'm so sorry."

I feel the cold hand gun touch the bottom of my chin, tears rolling down my neck.

I look up and see the same stars I used to watch in the lot, and on cold nights cuddle up with him there. He's where those stars are. He gets the very best view of that sunset.

Soon I'll be watching them by his side once again. I smile.

I cock the gun and put my finger over the trigger.

"I'm coming Johnnycakes. Don't worry."

The sound of the gun rings through town.

I'm coming.