XXV

Alex David Turner

"SO HOW'S KIM?"  I asked Richard, as he sipped his tea. I had invited him over as I wanted to catch up, and he didn't have much planned as Kim's parents wanted some alone time with her, so he decided to leave her be for the weekend.

"Mate, you can't tell her what I'm about to tell you, okay?" Richard responds, looking me dead in the eye.

Me, being curious at the time, nods my head vigorously. "What is it?"

"She's getting admitted to a hospital every weekend," He replies, and my eyes widen.

"Why wouldn't she tell me that?" I say, "It's not a bad thing that she's recovering. It's everything that I want."

Richard shrugs. "I've got no idea, mate. I keep on telling her to tell you, but she never listens."

"What's there to hide anyways?" I say, huffing. I saw no reason for her to hide it.

"No idea," he says, rolling his eyes. "A pain in the arse, isn't she?"

"Sometimes," I shrug, sipping my tea. "Anyways, What's going on with you?" I say, wiggling my eyebrows, and Richard starts laughing.

"What do you think of Harry?" He asks randomly, as I widen my eyes.

"A bit out of the blue, don't you think?"

"Don't answer a question with a question," he says, quoting what I said to 'Deborah' on a poetry site.

"I can't believe she told you about that!" I exclaim.

"What doesn't she tell me?" He smirks.

"She told you about that, too," I say, rubbing my neck. Damn, I knew they were close but how close could you get? At this point, it was like they were the same person.

"I get everything out of her," Richard says, smirking again.

I roll my eyes. "I think Harry is okay. He's quite smart,and very dedicated to school."

"Oh, okay."

"Did you want my opinion as your friend, or a teacher?" I ask.

"Friend."

"Well," I say, humming as I run my finger over my lip, "I think he could use a friend. He's very quiet and he's never got a partner in any of my lessons. He's not a bad looking guy, sometimes I hear the girls giggling over him."

"That's true," Richard mumbles under his breath.

I laugh, punching Richard in the arm. "Lad on Lad action, eh?"

"Okay, okay," Richard gives in. "I might be bisexual, but I'm not sure as of yet."

"Are you and Harry-"

"No! NO."

"Hold your horses," I laugh.

"Does it look like I have any horses on me?" He retorts.

I roll my eyes. "Don't get so defensive."

"I'm not."

I roll my eyes again. Fucking hell, he was stubborn. "What were you saying earlier?"

"Anyways, we talk, but he seems straight as hell."

"I wouldn't be so sure," I say, taking a sip of my tea.

"What makes you say that?" He asks, looking at me suspiciously.

"I just wouldn't jump to conclusions, mate," I say, not giving in.

"Come on, Al. Please?" He pleads as I sigh.

"Okay. You know how Harry and I hand out the books?" I say.

Richard eagerly nods. "Well, when he hands the books out, he always runs away from you as soon as he does it."

Richard furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "And that proves that he isn't straight, how?"

"It wasn't just once, Ri. It was a large number of times-"

"Who says a large number of times? You could just say a lot, you know."

"Sorry that I do not speak English to your standard," I speak, rolling my eyes.

"As you should be," Richard fakes a  smile.

I roll my eyes. "Anyway, he does that 'a lot' and that just can't be for no particular reason."

"Whatever, Alex Holmes."

"Isn't it Sherlock Holmes?" I ask, raising my eyebrow.

"You would know," He mumbles under his breath.

I laugh. "Ey! What does that mean?"

"It means that you're a prick," Richard replies, sticking his tongue out.

"I was saying something, you know."

"Who stopped you?"

"Well you kind of  did, since you insulted-"

"Shut up, Alex!"

"Hey, you asked me in the beginning."

"Fine," he sighs. "Continue, Mr Turner," He says and I laugh.

"Don't you think it's weird how he does that to you, and only you? It's like he's afraid of looking for too long."

Saying that had made Richard silent. He was deep in thought, I suppose. Don't blame him, I know that feeling.

It's when you've realised something that just goes against the rest of your thoughts. Richard obviously fancied Harry, and he had doubts on anything ever happening as he believed that Harry was straight.

"Look mate, I've got to go. It was lovely seeing you," I say, standing up, patting his back and walking out the door, turning around to notice that he was still in awe.

Almost like when Kim and I started out.

Kim. Doesn't everything come back to her? Kim was a circle, she had no start or end point. She was just there, forever in a loop.

She was a metal circle, and I was a red magnet. No matter what happens, we always end up together, maybe not romantically, but together. Even though this metaphor is over used, quite frankly, I can't think of anything else that describes us more perfectly.

I take out my phone and give her a ring. She doesn't answer at first, and I decide to hitch a ride with Richard, as he was just coming out.

"Ri, is it alright if you take me to Kim's?" I ask, almost desperate.

"You do know her parents are there, right?" He says, raising an eyebrow.

I shake my head. "Does it matter? I'll come as a teacher. Can you please take me?" I ask again. I was so desperate; I missed her like crazy.

I don't know why I did, everything about her just made me miss her even more.

Richard sighs. "Come on then, Turner."

He unlocks the car, and I sit inside, as he inserts the key and begins to drive, I receive a call, from my friend Matt.

I answer the call. "Hello, Mathew."

I could hear his smile. "Greetings, Alexander."

"You alright, mate?"

"Yeah, I'm doing great. You?"

"Can't say much else. How are you and the rest?"

"Nick, Jamie and I aren't doing that great if you're talking about the whole band situation."

"Ah, mate that's bullocks! Why?"

"Well, I can sing, but it doesn't work quite well if I'm a drummer. It was better when you were here, Al."

I smile. "Thanks mate, but I'm sure it's better now that I left."

"You had a killer voice, bet you still do. Come back, mate. We need you."

"I've got a teaching job and-" I stop myself. I can't tell him about Kim. "A great life."

"Please, at least for a weekend. High Green needs their Alex."

"I'll think about it. Lovely talking to you. Afternoon, Matt."

"Afternoon, Alex," he replies slightly grim, probably upset that I wouldn't come. I sighed and ended the call.

"Who was that?" Richard asks.

"My mate Matt back in Sheffield."

"Ah, back in High Green."

I smile. "Loved that place."

Richard was confused. "And you don't anymore?"

"I do, I just like it here more," I shrug.

Richard looks at me. "What was it like?"

I laugh. "It's like a big village, Sheffield I mean. Top nightclubs there, mate. The people are so, so friendly. It's a hilly northern area, if I'm honest."

"Sounds a bit like Derby," Richard replies.

"It is, kind of. Except Derby's in the midlands and Sheffield's up North."

"It'd be mint if I saw it."

"I'd like to take you and Kim there sometime," I smile.

"I look forward to it, Turner."

"As will I, Glen. Drive a little faster would ya?"  I joke, as he glares.

"Do you want me to get a ticket?"

I raise my hands in surrender. "Calm down."

"Glen will do as he pleases," He says and we both laugh, as we fall into a comfortable silence.

When we reach there, I speak. "Are you coming in as well?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Why?" I ask, slightly confused.

"Nothing to worry about, mate. I'm just a little tired."

"Okay," I smile. "Thanks for the ride."

"No problem," He smiles back.

"Afternoon," I say, getting out.

"Afternoon, Turner," He says and I close the door as he drives off.

I take a deep breath before fiddling with my jacket, hoping that I looked presentable. I walk up the stairs that lead to her home. I licked my lips before knocking the door twice as I waited patiently for the door to open.

The door opened, revealing Mrs Browne in a tee shirt and baggy trousers. "Mr Turner?" She asked, quite confused obviously.

"Sorry for not giving you a notice earlier, Mrs Browne. I just wanted to check if Kim-" I sighed, I couldn't call her by her nickname. "Kimberly was alright."

She smiles in gratitude. "That's very nice of you. I'll send her downstairs. George and I are upstairs if you need us. Take a seat on the settee why don't you," She smiles, and has gone upstairs, leaving me alone.

I sit down on a brown settee, rubbing my neck as I wait for Kim. A minute or two later, she comes downstairs looking flawless. She looked so much better since the last time I saw her. She seemed happier; healthier. She got better, and knowing that it might be because of me made me so happy that words couldn't explain it.

She was just hanging at home, so she was wearing a baggy white  top, with a fade blue flannel which was unbuttoned over it and her knee socks of course.

She looked absolutely stunning. I looked around, hoping her parents weren't anywhere to be seen. Kim looks at me with a smile, glad that I was there.

I stand up to greet her, and she smiles wider. "Hey, Al," She smiles again.

"Hello, Kim."

Kim jumps a little, and I widen my eyes, not used to her energy. "Give us a cuddle?" She asks.

I shake my head with a smile. "Of course, Kim," I say and wrap my arms around her. Kim's arms were around my neck as my hands were around her waist. She smelt of men's cologne and new leather. "Why'd you smell like a man?" I laugh, and she releases me from her hug.

Giggling, Kim replies. "I nick some from my dad. I dunno, I like the smell."

I wrap my arms around her again.  "Mm, I missed you."

I could feel her smile. "I missed you," she whispers, as she takes a seat on the settee. "So why're you here?"

I take a deep breath and sit next to her. "No reason. I just missed you."

She laughs. "You said that twice."

"It's true."

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're going to the hospital every weekend?" I blurt.

She folds her arms. "Who told you that?"

"Does it matter? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask calmly.

"You didn't miss me, did you?" Kimberly asks, looking slightly hurt.

I sigh. "Why do you think that?"

"Well it just seems like-"

"Like what?"

"Like you just wanted to know why I didn't tell you."

"And I do. Have you ever heard of 'killing two birds with one stone?"

Laughing, she replies. "Only you would say a phrase like that in an argument."

I stick my tongue out at her as she raises her middle finger.

"Tell me," I plead.

She sighs. "When you weren't you, know-"

"With you?"

Kimberly nods, agreeing. "Yeah. I did a lot of thinking."

"What about?" I ask eagerly.

"Why you left me," She says and I sigh, rubbing my neck. "Please don't think that this is your fault. Please," She pleads. "I've always thought low of myself, you know that."

I nod.

"The first night, when we kissed, we were talking about my mental disorders. The reason we started seeing each other after that, was because Sir Bloomsbury said it was okay-"

"But it wasn't," I reply.

"Right. But he thought it was okay then because of my mental disorders, he thought you could help me," She says and I roll my eyes. I destroyed her. "And you did," She smiles.

"No, I hurt you."

"Alex, you make me feel the most. Whether it's pain or happiness you make me feel the most. If you can bring me pain, you can bring me happiness."

I shake my head. "What's this got to do with anything?"

"I used to think that the reason that you stayed was because of  my horrid mental health," Kim says softly.

I run my hands through my hair. "Why?"

"Well everything came together when I had horrid mental health-"

I bury my face in my hands. "You know why we got together in you Brighton house?"

"Why?" She asks, as if she's been waiting for that answer for ages.

"Well, it was so many reasons. First it was because I am in love with you, and I couldn't stand being away from you anymore. I hate to bring it up, but-"

"Tell me," She said, her elbow on the sofa, as her head rest against her hand.

"I was hurting, a lot. Because I couldn't stand seeing you like that. I felt like a monster, hurting you like that."

Kim strokes my forearm.

"Look, disorder or none, I'm going to be here. Especially when you're recovering. Nothing means more to me than your recovery. But I want you to prioritise yourself right now. I want you to heal, and feel good in your skin, no matter what happens."

"I'm not going to let go of you that easily," She smiles, and I smile with her, before giving her that I'm serious look, and she nods. "I know, I promise."

 "Okay," I reply, leaning in for a kiss before her Mum interrupts us. Fuck.

"Kiddo, your dad and I are going out okay? Mr Turner, can you please take care of her for two hours? I hate to impose, and if you're busy-"

I smirk, looking at Kim. "It'll be no problem."