❝ tell me you'll be fine, always fine ❞

My lips touched yours. And you didn't flinch, you pulled me closer, your hands intact on my wheelchair. And you didn't know how to kiss a girl with no legs, you didn't know how to kiss her while she sat there the entire time. You didn't know how to kiss Esme Lance.

But I knew. I knew your lips by the back of my hand. My body arched to capture your softness. And you leaned closer.

That kiss was sudden and you were seated on one of the benches outside school.

"Sorry- Esme, I don't know why-"

"It's alright. We'll just not talk about it"

He nodded.

Devon ran a hand through his head. Our kiss meant nothing, it was only passion.

But it meant something to me.

It left me boneless and wanting more.

I don't know if he felt the same.

━━

It's finally Friday morning and I get to school before the first bell, telling Jane I had a counselling session early.

I'm at the school ground. There are footballers practising and I roll my wheels to a nearby shade and... wait.

When the first kids pass through the entrance, I grow hopeful. Maybe Devon would be here anytime soon. He was always on time,and never once I saw him come late.

My breath is held as students rush past, laughing and joking.

Be here. Please be here.

Just then I see Ruston, his shoulders heavy with two backpacks.

My eyes immediately find the frail boy lugging behind.

My jaw drops.

Devon Zachary looks like death. If death had a form of a human being, then it would be him. He's dragging his legs and walking like there's an enormous weight on his shoulders. His face is hollow and I see his eyes searching.

I wheel my wagon towards the entrance so that they can see me.

They see me almost immediately.

Devon smiles like it's a burden to stretch his lips. My heart aches.

Ruston jogs to my side. "His doctor has advised him to rest but he came to see you," he says.

My hands shake on my lap as Devon limps to my side. His blue eyes swallow me into his depths and I just know what it is. My mind refuses to form words. I feel like crying. I want to cry. I want to hug Devon and just...cry.

"Can you hug me, Devon?" I ask. My voice is coiled into whispers.

He obliges as he goes behind me and wraps me in his bony hug. His face is on my shoulder and I sniff.

"Ciao, Esmè" his voice burns my skin, his lips brushing my ear. I hold my breath because I want to lock this moment in my heart. Lock it with a key and keep it forever.

"You're going to be okay, right?" I whisper.

He straightens himself. His warmth of him evaporated into thin air.

"I don't know. Can you skip?" he asks. He's in front of me now, kneeling down so we're face to face.

I want to say yes. It's like he's asking me to skip so as to spend maybe his last days on Earth.

I say yes because Devon is going to die.

I say yes because I don't want him to die.