A/N: there are creepy people in this and attempted assault but it's not graphic or bad at all.

Chuuya could successfully say that he had drunk himself into oblivion. He seemed to have been passed out on the bar when he opened hazy eyes again.

The lights blurred around him, the people moving around in muddled colors.

"Ugh," he mumbled, wiping the drool from his bottom lip. At least he seemed a bit more aware after his little nap.

His phone read that it was half-past midnight, better than he expected. But still, Chuuya's thoughts were a wonderful hazy buzzing in the back of his mind, just how he liked it.

Contrary to popular belief, Chuuya overthought, and he did it a lot. The wine got his mind off of everything and his executive duties.

Chuuya was so busy trying to shrug on his coat that he missed the eyes lingering over him until the group approached him. From what he could tell there were three men unless he was seeing double. They were fairly large.

"Can' I help ya?" He slurred, he didn't feel his tongue in his mouth, only hoping that he was understandable.

Then there was a foreign hand wrapping around his waist, large and unwanted. Chuuya slapped it away, not putting as much force as he wanted.

The man pulled a frustrated face "you're drunk, we're just trying to help you home."

Chuuya's mind halted. Did he really know these people? He wasn't stupid he knew he was drunk, but he also knew that he tended to forget people easily. Could these be lackeys sent from Ane-San?

...Even so, Chuuya got a bad vibe from them. Especially when the other two (so there were three) slid behind him, blocking his exits.

If Chuuya were less intoxicated then he would kick these people to the next city over, but he knew he couldn't. He never had a good gauge on his power levels when he was like this and he could easily kill some innocent people.

So instead, what came out of his drunken mouth was. "I have a boyfriend, I don't know you."

The man he could see raised an eyebrow "is that so?"

Chuuya nodded rapidly, the blooming headache in the back of his eyes flaring up with the movement. He winced, reaching up to rub his eyes. The men saw this as an opportunity to advance, the hand back on his waist and another on his shoulders.

There were hot hands on him, too many. Chuuya tried not to hyperventilate in his vulnerable state.

The pins and needles sensation crept up his arms as they fell weak in his attempt at elbowing them.

Dammit, where was the bartender?

"Prove it then" a man smirked.

They knew he didn't have a boyfriend, and they knew it well. They were mocking him, giving him an out that he didn't have.

Chuuya unsteadily took his phone, swiping through the contacts with slow fingers. His vision obscured the contact names, so Chuuya clicked on a random number and hoped for the best.

It took a couple of rings for the annoyingly chipper voice to answer "well hello chibi, why are you calling at this time of night~"

Oh hell no.

Chuuya was seconds away from slamming his thumb into the 'end call' button, but the men's eyes studied him. Chuuya clenched his jaw and mustered up the most convincing tone he could.

"Hey, babe."

There was a beat of silence "are you drunk slug?"

Chuuya nodded "yes, I'm at the bar where I told you I would be, honey."

There was shifting from the other end of the line, Dazai seemed to have finally caught on. Good because Chuuya wasn't sure how much longer he could stay acting sober, everything was blurred and he wanted to throw up.

"Okay, can you get away?"

No, I'm drunk and can't stand straight.

"No, the dog should be alright as long as you look after him."

The men around Chuuya grew bored at his masked conversation, exchanging looks that meant no good. Chuuya quickly stamped out any lingering doubts in the back of his mind.

He was a grown-ass man who may be drunk off his ass, but he could still fend them off... maybe.

And Dazai would come. Hopefully.

As if he was summoned, Dazai spoke up on the other end. "I'll be there in a second Chibi, hang tight."

Then the line went dead.

——-

Dazai did not expect to receive a call from his ex-partner far into the hours of the night. He had been aimlessly staring at the ceiling, always the victim of insomnia when his phone started buzzing.

Dazai idly felt around for it, squinting at the contact as if it were a hallucination before answering it. If the slug really was calling him then there was a good reason.

"Well hello Chibi, why are you calling me this time at night~" he teased, a smirk on his face.

When Chuuya replied Dazai choked on his own spit, sitting up from his stiff futon. Chuuya sounded slurred, out of it. He was no doubt drunk, and Dazai worded his thoughts.

"Yes, I'm at the bar where I told you I would be, honey."

Alarm bells rang in his head as he launched himself to his door, grabbing a coat and slipping on his shoes. Someone was with Chuuya at the bar, someone who Chuuya didn't want around him.

Probably some drunken people bothering him.

It would explain the act.

After exchanging a few more words (with hidden meanings, coming from Chuuya) Dazai hung up so he could pull up his tracker. He had taken the liberty to bug the other's phone after the guild incident.

It wasn't a port mafia-owned bar, in fact, it was one around the corner from the agency's dorms. A good thing.

It was unusually crowded, though it was also a Saturday night. Dazai weaved his way through the crowd at the front door and into the heart of the place where Chuuya would surely be.

He was in fact there, but now Dazai got a look at the unwanted company. The men, three in number, crowded Chuuya, their hands lingering on his body. No one seemed to notice.

Chuuya himself looked even worse than he sounded over the phone, cheeks flushed and eyes hazed in an alcohol-induced trance.

Dazai was snapped out of his analysis of the scene as one of the guys nudged Chuuya forward and off of the seat. He stumbled without the support of the chair as the two others grabbed his arms.

Dazai wouldn't let this continue.

"Hey, babe!" He called, striding up to the group. The men appeared startled from where they were trying to herd Chuuya away.

"...you his boyfriend?" One of the men asked.

Dazai nodded, making a show of crossing his arms over his chest. "I'd appreciate it if I can have him back now. I don't really like sharing."

One of them huffed out a breathy chuckle "I didn't expect him to actually have one."

Dazai hummed "I suppose one could be lying in this situation, but I encourage you not to try taking advantage of other people while they can't consent."

"Fine, enough rambling." The middle one roughly pushed Chuuya forward, Dazai steadied him by the shoulders, keeping him close.

"Thank you for returning him to me, we'll be off now." Despite his words, Dazai's voice was toxic, his eyes scanning over them as if daring them to try anything.

They didn't. Only watching as Dazai twisted Chuuya around and marched them out of there and back into the cold winter night.

"Tch, you're always getting into trouble. Your welcome by the wa-" Dazai was cut off when Chuuya almost walked into oncoming traffic.

"Na-ah-ah, c'mere. Am I going to have to get a child leash for the Chibi?" he pulled him by the elbow, discovering that his ex-partner looked to be on the brink of passing out just as he always was when intoxicated.

"Oh Chuuya, what am I going to do with you?" He sighed in a mocking manner.

Chuuya swayed on his feet.

Dazai grudgingly maneuvered the Chibi to his back so that he was giving him a piggyback ride. Chuuya's head lolled on his shoulder, his hot breath fanning across Dazai's neck.

"Let's go home Chibi."