SOLEDAD

"Arbitrator?" nagtatakang tanong ni Samantha sa akin.

Of course, how would she get an idea about us. We were working in secret, always behind the scenes. There's no way she would understand the point of what we do.

Hindi rin naman ata maaabot ng intellectual capacity niya ang mga mission na kailangang isagawa ng isang arbitrator. And if she would ever get her first project, I doubt she will get another one.

Dahil baka iuwi na lang siyang nakabalot sa isang body bag gaya ng karamihan sa mga kasamahan kong hindi pinalad na mabuhay sa una naming project. Remembering that dark moments is hard to deal with.

Idagdag pa yung emotional baggage. Kaya nga ngayon e minabuti kong magsagawa ng misyon nang mag-isa lang. Even if they want to have me bring along one of the other arbitrators, hindi na ako pumayag na magsama pa ng iba.

Seeing one of them dead is heartbreaking. Tao rin naman akong nakakaramdam ng lungkot. That's why as much as possible, ayokong maging malungkot dahil nawawala yung core ko bilang isang arbitrator.

"You would never understand," I picked up the cup of coffee that she brought for me. "I guess you'll never know."

"I want to know. Anong ibig mong sabihin na isa kang arbitrator?" Samantha kept pushing.

Even Marco looked at me with a curious gaze from his eyes. "Oo nga, ano bang pinagsasabi mong arbitrator? Isa ba yang cult? Organization? O member ka ng isang syndicate?"

"Drug cartel?" Samantha even added.

Napailing na lang ako. "Nah, I decided to keep my own agenda. Kayo nga hindi ni'yo masabi sa akin kung bakit nandito kayo e."

Playing the right cards were one of my goals. Tease them, have them crave for more, and ask in return for what you need to get. Kung hindi pa rin sila patitinag, then doon na ako magsisimulang maging pisikal kung hindi talaga maiiwasan.

Samantha clenched her teeth. "You're toying us. Hindi namin sasabihin kung anong ginagawa namin dito sa iyo. We kept our word with Angel na hindi mo dapat malaman ang dahilan kung ba't kami nagpunta rito."

"Then do as what she say, ganiyan naman ang mga alagang hayop, sumusunod sa amo nila," nakangiti kong sambit sa kanila, hoping it would hit a nerve.

"Di ko na gusto tabas ng dila nito, ah," akmang tatayo si Marco para lapitan ako ngunit pinigilan siya ni Samantha.

"Stop, hayaan mo siyang magsalita nang mag-isa. We don't need to ask her anything. Wala naman siyang mapapala sa atin," sabi pa ni Samantha.

Well, that's what I was looking for. Have a state of denial na hindi kayo magsasalita. Lahat naman ng tao may way of  indecisiveness. At kung iniisip nilang hindi ko malalaman ang sagot mula sa kanila, doon sila nagkakamali.

I'll do my best to play my cards well. Hindi ko kailangang ibunyag ang lahat ng sikreto ko sa kanila dahil isa lang silang controllable variable dito sa project na ito. I can eliminate them in no time, but doing it for no reason sounds so barbaric.

Mabait naman akong tao, hindi lang palagi.

"Yeah, you must listen to her. Marco, kasi kung sasaktan mo ako, you'll regret what you'll do next. Bahala ka, ikaw rin?" I smiled at Marco. "Maybe I would demand for answers to avoid getting this matter legally just in case?"

Marco didn't move. Hanggang sa bigla na lang siyang bumuntong-hininga. He had thought about it, mabuti naman, dahil ayaw ko yung pakiramdam na may gustong manakit sa akin.

Whenever I feel threatened, I have no other choice but to eliminate the threat. Cute pa naman sana si Marco. I'll admit that fact.

Umupo si Marco at nagpatuloy na lang sa pagkain. Samantala, pinagmamasdan lang ni Samantha ang mga ikinikilos ko as if she's trying to find out how to manage my presence being with them.

If I am in her situation, tatanungin ko rin ang sarili ko, a beautiful lady known as your boss's archenemy, sitting in front of you right now tapos hindi mo alam kung ano ang agenda, it would totally freak you out.

Enough to put you on edge all the time.

Mabuti na lang it's the other way around for me. Ako itong may kontrol sa sitwasyon. They're just pawns that I need to play wisely. Lalo na sina Manuel at Verm.

Verm is like a special chess piece. There's something different, something special with him. Noong iwanan niya akong mag-isa sa kalsada habang sakay ng motorsiklo niyang luma, it made me wonder where did he went to?

Bigla na lang kasi siyang huminto that time. He then looked around us, hanggang sa maya-maya ay bigla na lang siyang tumakbo sa masukal na parte ng kagubatan na nasa palibot namin and then he just disappeared without a trace and didn't come back.

I had no choice but to drive the motorcycle alone by myself. And to my surprise, nakita ko yung van ni Angel na nakaparada sa gilid ng kalsada.

I was like, what was she doing in the middle of the road at that time? Gabing-gabi na nang mga oras na iyon. Pero nang sinubukan ko siyang kausapin e agad niyang pinaharurot yung van nila at muli ay naiwan na naman akong mag-isa.

It was a total discomfort to me to be honest. Pero dahil malinaw ang lahat sa plano, hindi ko na lang pinansin yung nangyari. Hanggang sa magulat na lang ako, sa ospital pala sila nagpunta.

And guess what, Verm was along with Angel at that time? Hindi ba kataka-takang pangyayari iyon? That's why I was thinking that Verm transformed into a werewolf and went to save Manuel and Angel.

Isa pa, iba na yung suot ni Verm noong magkita kaming dalawa. Saan naman yun magbibihis sa gitna ng kagubatan? Using my common sense, I could totally solve this puzzle about them being lycans.

I just need evidence. Concrete evidence.

I looked over Manuel's unconscious body. Hindi ko siya puwedeng kuhanan ng blood sample hangga't may nakabantay sa kaniya rito. But I know Manuel has some blood samples stored somewhere in this hospital.

Tumayo ako, "Kailangan kong magbanyo. I need to retouch my makeup, mahirap na, baka magaya ako sa iyo, Sam. You looked so stressed out, gusto mo sumama sa akin?"

"No thanks," ang sagot ni Sam sa pagyaya ko sa kaniya.

"Ikaw ang bahala," I walked pass them. "Ta ta!"

And I closed the door behind me as I went outside.

Nang makalabas ako ng kuwarto ay agad kong inobserbahan ang paligid. It's late at night, tahimik na ang pasilyo ng ospital na ito, I can see some nurse walking back and forth but no one among them gave notice of my presence.

Binalak ko sanang magtanong kung ano ang nangyari doon sa lalaki kanina, pero hindi ko na trabaho ang tanungin iyon, it was no longer a part of my mission so why bother?

I decided to look for the nearest bathroom here. Kailangan ko rin talagang mag-retouch, after so many uncomfortable hours of being exposed with crazy stuff like these, kailangan ko na talagang mag-ayos ng itsura.

A woman like me would never finish the job looking so unprepared. Decency is still a part of preparation.

The first place where I went to is indeed the women's comfort room. Doon agad ako nagpunta hindi lang para mag-retouch ng make up at mag-ayos ng buhok but also to report what is currently happening right now to my superiors.

This is just a one day mission, kailangan ay may resulta na agad ang mga findings ko within the night. Hindi puwedeng wala akong maipakitang progress sa mga higher ups ko considering that I was one of their best field arbitrators.

As I find the sign showing me the direction where the bathroom is, may nakita akong babaeng may katangkaran na dumaan sa hallway sa dulo ng pasilyo kung saan ako naglalakad.

I felt something odd when she passed by, parang ang bigat sa pakiramdam nung madaanan niya ako. She didn't even bother to look at me but I can sense it. Yung overwhelming feeling na parang may kakaiba sa isang tao.

Just like how people sense something special about me. Lalo na kapag nakilala nila ako nang lubusan at tuluyang malaman ang katauhan ko. I always feel so victorious whenever I reveal my identity before leaving people onto their upcoming annihilation.

Been there, done that. And I'm starting to feel that it would happen again this time.

Gusto ko sanang sundan yung babae but my gut feeling says not to push myself right now. Hindi ko puwedeng biglang sirain ang flow ng plano ko. This must come smoothly and it will end smoothly as well. Hindi puwedeng hindi pinag-iisipan ang bawat kilos na gagawin ko.

I ended up finding myself inside the women's comfort room, looking into my ragged reflection in the mirror in front of me. What the hell did just happen, bakit napabayaan ko yata ang itsura ko sa mission na ito?

I didn't see this coming. Inilabas ko na lamang ang mga makeup kit ko at nagsimulang mag-retouch, and while doing it, I pulled out my phone and started dialing a number.

"This is Sol," bulong ko. "Any updates?"

The voice of the man on the other line sounds like he was eating something crunchy. "Teka, kumakain ako. Breaktime, ikaw kamusta ka diyan?"

"I said, what's the recent update there?"

Tumawa ang lalaking nasa kabilang linya. His name is Lewis. Isa sa mga arbitrator na nag-a-assist sa akin online. He will stay at the base while providing me vital information in and out of the base itself.

Siya rin ang dahilan kung bakit marami akong nalalamang shortcut kung saan ako puwedeng tumakas. He can give me real-time direction via satellite view from the sky.

"Grabe ka talaga, Sol. Gimme a break, nothing special is happening here. How about there? Any updates from you?" I can feel him smiling.

Hindi kami magka-away ni Lewis but we have this cat and mouse relationship with each other. Like madalas niya akong iniinis sa mga bagay na hindi ko kontrolado habang sinusubukan ko naman siyang pakabahin sa tuwing may ginagawa akong hindi niya inuutos. Sounds the same with a huge difference.

I'm such a stubborn partner in field mission. Wala naman siyang magagawa kung 'di ang maupo sa harapan ng isang computer while doing his work to navigate maps, research some information in one place, and of course to prepare for reinforcement just in case it's necessary for me.

Online support literally. Samantalang ako itong babae na gumagawa ng mission nang mano-mano. Hindi sa nagrereklamo ako but I can feel women empowerment whenever I see other female arbitrator such as myself kapag may meeting sa base.

"Uy, why are you taking so long to reply? Something wrong happened?" he asked me with the usual concerned voice.

This is what I love doing to him. Pinapakaba ko siya para maramdaman ko yung pagiging concerned niya sa akin. While right now I was just doing my hair.

"O ba't ka kabado?" I asked him.

"Figured. Alam mo Sol, sa kakaganiyan mo, nagdadalawang-isip tuloy ako kung seryoso ka o hindi e, if you'll send a distress signal, baka hindi ako mag-send ng reinforcement para sa'yo."

"Do I need you to feel distrustful of me? Baka nakakalimutan mo, you've been trained to learn how to distinguish lies with genuine ask for help, di ba?" I rebutted.

I heard him sighed. "Always the brainy. But on a serious note, I need an update."

"Fine," I have started putting up lipstick. "But wait, I'm retouching my makeup. Haggard na ako, this mission is exhausting already."

"Exhausting e wala ka pa ngang major breakthroughs."

"Just wait and see, hindi pa ako nag-iinit. Gusto mo na agad tong matapos? We are not even enjoying. Nasaan yung thrill, nasaan yung kaba? Where's the fun if things would end up so fast?" I asked him.

Even without seeing him directly. Alam kong nakakunot ang noo niya sa mga oras na ito habang pinakikinggan ako. In denial siyang hindi siya concerned sa akin pero alam kong oras na mag-send ako ng distress signal, he'll never think twice but to immediately send one for me.

Of course it would be on alert level 5. They'll send a group of elite caretakers to prevent collateral damages as much as possible. Again, we don't harm innocent people. In fact, we protect civilians at all cost.

"Is this just something for fun to you? The lives of camp tirso community depends on your report. Alam mo namang tayong mga arbitrators, we have blood on our hands as well kahit na hindi tayo part ng exterminator team. This isn't fun," his voice went from cheerful to being serious. "And I know you knew about that as well."

Napabuntong-hininga na lamang ako. Men sometimes act like they know all the things more than women. Pero akala ba niya natutuwa ako sa paraang alam kong maraming buhay ang nakadepende sa akin?

It's for the greater good. Like the trolly problem, kung nakasakay ka sa isang trolly at may dalawang way na dadaanan yung riles at sa isang daanan ay may limang tao, samantalang sa isa naman ay may isang taong nakatayo, saang daan ka pupunta?

With the unstoppable trolley. Would you sacrifice a life of five people for one, or would you sacrifice that one person for the lives of the other five people?

And sa sitwasyon namin, we're talking about a community of werewolves that has a possibility to be controlled by opposing organizations against a community of innocence individuals. Of course I'll choose the greater good, yung mas nakararami, yung mga inosente.

That's why I was thinking. No more no less. Hindi ako nandito para maging dahilan ng pagkamatay ng mga tao, ng isang grupo, ng isang komunidad. I signed up to become an arbitrator to make sure that life will be maintained, and balance will be upheld in this world.

"I guess, next time na ako magbibigay ng report. I'll call you when I feel na hindi ka na crybaby," I ended up the call and stared into my reflection while thinking about myself.

What should I do now? What's the next step?

I looked at my eyes. Ito yung pangangatawan ko dahil dito ko ibubuhos ang sarili kong buhay. Unlike other people, I have one word. Gagawin ko ang trabahong ito kahit na anuman ang mangyari.

Nothing can stop me.

Time to get a blood sample from this hospital's clinic in order for me to leave this town for good.

Wala na akong pakialam sa kung anong balak gawin ni Angel dito. Besides, I'm done with her already. After all the sacrifice that I made, I know she would understand just in case she finds out the reason why.

And this is not yet the time for that.

Inayos ko na ang mga gamit ko at agad akong naglakad palabas ng banyo. As I went outside, I used my navigating skills to find where the main room for samples sa loob ng hospital na ito.

It did not took me long enough to find it, yet unfortunately, I have gotten a much more interesting thing to look forward with.

Sa pinakadulong pintuan ng pasilyo kung saan matatagpuan yung mga samples nila rito, may isang kuwarto roon na may nakasulat na 'Morgue' sa labas.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit doon habang palingon-lingon sa paligid, nagbabakasakaling may nakamatyag sa kung anong gagawin ko. Mabuti na lang at wala namang tao sa paligid.

As I reached the door, I have heard someone's voice inside. Boses ng isang babae na medyo may katandaan na rin. She was muttering something, as if she's doing a ritual that I can't understand.

Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pintuan at nakita ng dalawang mga mata ko ang nangyayari sa loob. The female doctor who walked passed by me earlier is standing in front of a dead man's body while her eyes were closed.

Yung lalaking nakahiga sa mesa sa harapan niya ay kung hindi ako magkakamali ay siya ring lalaki na kinombulsyon sa main lobby kanina. A-anong ginagawa nung nurse sa kaniya?

Why is she doing something mysterious like that to that poor man's dead body?

When suddenly, the man rose up and looked at the doctor. Ngumiti yung babaeng doktor sa kaniya at halata naman sa bawat kilos nung lalaki na parang natatakot siya.

He was shaking so bad while the doctor was just smiling at him. Hindi ko sila masyadong marinig pero may masama akong pakiramdam sa kung ano ang binabalak nila.

I was about to do something, like opening the door and surprise them when suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulders from behind, napalingon ako at nagulat na lamang ako nang turukan ako ng isang nurse sa leeg gamit ang isang matalas na injection.

"Shhhh," it was a woman's voice that soothed my nerves. "You can sleep now."

I started feeling drowsy, nanlalambot ang pakiramdam ng mga muscle sa katawan ko, even my eyes started to look blurry. Hanggang sa tuluyan na akong bumagsak, at sa kabutihang-palad ay nasalo ako ng babaeng nagturok sa akin.

"Si-sino ka..." I tried my best to ask.

But my vision went blank and I feel like I'm floating in the air. This was not a part of my mission. But why am I having this kind of situation?

In this moment I wished Lewis is with me to help...