16 years old
Octobe

Me and Eliza were sitting under one of the many trees inside the compound garden. We hardly ever climbed the trees to "bird watch" anymore, not because we weren't interested. I definitely was and Eliza happened to be the president for bird watching.

We climbed the tree less because the boys had started to notice and as a response they were making more efforts to be less discrete. Bathe behind bushes? Please, they were bathing in the open now.

In the last hour or so that we had been chilling in the sun I had seen at least 5 naked males. And when I say naked I really meant butt bared, abdomen's tensed and their man bits swinging. These boys had no shame. They were out to entice the young girls, human or not. Even the wolf males had taken it upon themselves to join the weekly bathing.

Boy were we enticed. Eliza had brought snacks so we would have the perfect front row of the boys bathing. There were quite a few females around but we had the best view. Thanks to Eliza and her male.

"So Van have you done it yet?" I cringed, knowing that I was going to get cussed out because of my response.

"No" I whispered hoping that the sight of her male, Samyuri climbing out of the water with his magnificent sword swaying would deter her.

"Well why not?" She spat, her eyes stuck to the male of her dreams.

Samyuri wasn't the boy who she had been seeing a couple months ago, that was shy old Peter. Samyuri was a young wolf male who had found his mate in Eliza but because she hadn't quite turned 16 he was waiting to seal the deal. She had pretty much ticked everything else on her list though.

Samyuri was a growing male, more man then he was boy so I knew that Eliza would definitely have an interesting story to tell me when it happened. Especially with the size of his manly bits.

"Why not Vanya!" She repeated, dragging her eyes away from her soon to be mate.

"I don't know, it's just awkward."

"Seriously Vanya, if you want to be a woman then you have to start acting like one." She huffed, clearly annoyed at me. She was a few months younger than me but I swear she acted much older.

"How can you expect a male to know your body if you don't." She questioned in a rising voice.

"He's been with females before" I replied sullenly, annoyed that I had to have such a whore for a male.

"So what! So has Samyuri but I still touch myself! Each female body is different Vanya."

"Plus you need to do this for you" she added hastily, as if I would buy her lies. My incredulousness was probably obvious from the face I knew I was pulling because she kept talking.

"You don't believe me? Fine I will give you an example." Her fingers went to her chin as she thought, then her eyes lit up in that manner of hers when she's being mischievous.

"Okay, so my nipples aren't really sensitive, maybe that's because they are small but I think yours would be."

Her head tilted to the side as she watched my body, her slanted eyes lingering over my breasts that seemed to just keep growing. They were more than a handful now.

"Uh" I moaned, my hand flying to my mouth to trap the sound. Damn that felt funny. I had never felt anything like this, my thighs centre slickened automatically and my thighs clenched in anticipation.

"I knew it" she giggled.

Her hand reaching out to pluck then again. This time my hand swiped up to stop her from doing it again. My body felt off kilter and I didn't need her to make it worse by doing that while I was surrounded by tonnes of naked males.

"Carson won't know how to please you fully because you won't know what to direct him to." Her face was serious now as she reprimanded me for not listening to the advice she had been giving me.

"And more importantly self gratification is the highest form of love. Love yourself and everything else will follow."

Damn this girl was a freak. Always talking about sex or something, it only got worse now that Samyuri was showing her how wrong about so many things she had been.

The girl was getting worse and he was only encouraging her. I couldn't deal with them. They were both nasty little freaks. Well he wasn't really little because he was 20 something in human years which was relatively older than us but still young according to wolf society.

"Hey baby" growled a half naked Samyuri as he crawled up behind her, nipping and sucking at her ear. Eliza's eyes went white as her pupils rolled to the back of her head in pleasure. She gripped his head and tried to force his head down her chest but he just laughed and pulled back.

His dark brown eyes met mine as he waved at me with his always teasing smile. "Hello little Lady" he grinned as he called me by my nickname. It was a play on the butterfly called the painted lady.

Eliza twisted her head trying to suck on his neck, a moan rolling up her throat as she tried to drag his body on top of hers. It was definitely my time to leave.

"Uhh I'm gonna go" I stammered, face flaming as I flew to my feet and hastily grabbed my stuff.

Another moan was released by Eliza as Samyuri's hand draped down her stomach. I practically flew from that area but before I could leave Eliza was able to part her face from the male for a second, to give me some advice.

"Make sure you try it Van, it's therapeutic." She called out, her voice strained as a large gasp followed her words. I refused to look at them. They made me sick, two nasty little freaks.

//--//

That night as I lay in bed Eliza's words rang in my head. They encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and just try it. The girl was happy and if touching herself did that for her then surely it could do the same for me.

My hand slid slowly up my stomach, shaking as I made my way up my body pulling my top up along the way.

My breasts felt heavy in my palm as my fingers flexed around it. I tentatively stoked at my nipple causing it to pebble in my hand. When rubbing it wasn't enough I plucked at it, the feeling traveled all the way down to between my legs. A fire building at my centre.

Air rushed from my mouth as I pinched it harder, my eyes shuttering closed at the sublime feeling. Stroking and rolling my nipples made a slickness form between my thighs. I throbbed throughout my body, a humming energy sliding through me.

My hand travelled lower and I gently poked at myself, it felt uncomfortable at first but when I accidentally hit this small piece of flesh my body clenched and a moan slipped from my mouth.

I wasn't sure what it was but rubbing it brought tears to my eyes. My right hand rubbed at the small nub as my free hand rubbed on my chest. Gasping and moaning my body got wetter and wetter, my centre clenching and unclenching around air.

One of my fingers slipped inside my entrance and I froze completely. The penetration felt so bizarre but it heightened what my other fingers had been doing. I slowly slipped the digit back in, my body arching as I turned to liquid. Gods I was so slippery.

A sharp cry flew from my mouth at the sound of a large fist banging on my door.

When the sound came again, I quickly fixed my clothes and wiped my fingers along my bottoms. I felt sticky but there was no time to wash up because the person kept banging incessantly on my door.

Yanking it open I was met with the swirling grey orbs of Carson, his eyes growing darker and darker as he smelt my arousal.

"Who is in here?" He growled, fangs bared as he shoved me aside and charged into the room. Nostrils flaring as he wrecked the place looking for this invisible person.

"Where is he!" He thundered, jaws clenched as he crowded me against my closed door.

"Who?" I squeaked not used to this side of him, he was never aggressive towards me.

"That male you have been fucking!" He thundered.

"I-I haven't" my throat was in my mouth as I stammered a weak reply.

"No? Then why is some little boy talking about your breasts!" His face inching closer and closer to mine in anger.

"What?" I squeaked genuinely shocked that some boy had been talking about my breasts.

"Who have you been fucking! Who has seen your Pussy Vanya!" Heat climbed up my neck at his filthy words. He had such a dirty mouth and it only aroused me further.

I tried to fight it though, this man was accusing me of something that I had never ever thought to do. Never would do, why would I when I had been begging him for his attention for months now.

"Carson, I swear there's no male in here. I haven't been fucking anyone." I wiped the tears that were trickling down my face.

I was over crying. I hadn't cried for him in months now, I wouldn't let his words change that.

"Then why can I smell your arousal" my cheeks heated up as I looked away from him.

"Fuck Vanya, I'm not dumb" he spat his hands ripping at his beautiful long blonde hair.

I could see that the thoughts flying through his mind were driving him to insanity. As much as I wanted him to suffer in the same way I had been suffering for years I couldn't let him suffer. Not when I knew I could do something to ease it.

"Carson I-" I hesitated for a minute. Closing my eyes, I let Eliza's words settle over me. I wanted to be a woman so I had to take control of this winding situation.

Opening my eyes, a small smile spread across my face, heart beating with nerves. Taking a step forwards, I entered his private space, fingers twirling around my hair as my free hand landed on his chest.

"I was thinking of you" I whispered my lashes fluttering as I looked down at his wide chest, when had he become so broad and muscular?

Biting my lip, I looked back up at him through my lowered lashes just in time to see his nostrils flare.

His jaw ticked and then he snapped.

Pouncing on me, his lips swallowing me whole as he gripped my behind and forced my front to his. His thick arousal flexed against my stomach as his tongue plunged into my mouth. Eliza's teachings had me moving my mouth in time to his. Tongues wrapping around each other as I sunk my fingers into his hair. Pulling his face impossibly closer to me.

I inhaled him, taking everything he was and giving my all back as we danced and twined into that kiss. His hands climbed up by body, fingers delving under my top as he stroked my breast. Plucking at my nipples as his hips rocked into me.

My leg wrapped around his waist, pulling his manhood harder into me. Rocking and rocking back and forth as my head tilted back. His head travelled down my neck, kissing his way down my body past my collarbone until he reached the swell of my breast. They felt heavy in his hands, throbbing for his mouth. I felt a pulsating need deep within me.

I moved. I was possessed, twisting and gyrating against his hard body as I forced his head to where I needed it. His warm breath tickled over my hardened nubs, causing a twitch in my centre.

Moans slipped from my mouths as I begged him to take me into his mouth, to suckle on me.

"Please" I begged, my hips rocking up into his body.

He ripped away from me, my plea breaking the spell that wove around us.

"Carson" I murmured my hands reaching out to bring him closer to me but he stepped further away. His fingers gripping his neck.

"Fuck" he cursed, eyes clenching shut as he bit his lip in frustration.

"Fuck."

"Carson I-"

"No" he interjected, body moving further away from me.

"This wasn't supposed to happen" his words broke me apart inside but I had to see the light. This was the closest we had ever physically gotten.

"You just turned 16 for fucks sake, your still young."

"But I'm your mate and I'm legal now" I cried, how could he disregard that fact. No laws separated us now.

"So fucking what, your still too young." He spat with such venom I was physically moved back.

"I don't get it. I'm always going to be younger than you so when am I going to be good enough!"

I was up in his space now, my fists thumping against his chest as all my buried insecurities resurfaced. He always did this to me, made me fell like less of a woman.

"Why is it wrong for you to want me but it's okay for you to go to those females?" Anger fuelling the tempest that was my mind, I couldn't control my words.

"Don't start Vanya," he refuted me like I was some pestering little bug and it only annoyed me more.

"No, why won't you answer me!! Why is it so wrong if I'm saying I'm ready?" He would answer my questions because I was done playing this game with him.

"Because I'm not ready" he thundered so much anger and disgust in his eyes before they went void. I had a feeling he hadn't wanted to tell me that truth.

"What do you mean?" I could hear the fear in my own voice, it wavered and cracked.

"I- fuck, butterfly I'm not ready for this." Another crack in my poor desolate heart before he killed me with his words.

"I can't be a mate yet."

Silence. Just silence. And then my anger spilled forth from my tongue like a snake.

"But you can fuck other females" I hissed, punching his no good filthy chest.

"Don't swear Vanya." He dared to reprimand me!

"Fuck you Carson!" I screamed, all my anger, pain and frustration channelled into those words.

"Butterfly-" he stuttered like the worthless male he was.

"Shut up" I fumed, my face soaking wet with my tears. I had cried an ocean for this man and I still wasn't good enough.

"I want you gone" there was a finality in my words, I was done being his back up.

"Vanya don't do this!" He cried, his panic causing me to doubt my choice. Maybe he wanted me.

But when my eyes met his grey eyes I knew he didn't. I could see the guilt in his eyes but there was no fire, he wasn't willing to fight for me. Not like I fought for us.

"I'm tired of this, so tired of your false promises!" The moment the fight left my body he pounced with those filthy words of his. My weakness.

"Butterfly, baby pl-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" I screeched my voice so loud I could hear the words echoing off the walls. I hated that fucking name.

"Just shut up." I had given him my heart at the age of 13 and in those 3 years he had beaten it so black and blue I barely recognised it. It was a broken and blackened thing that struggled to pulse in my cavity.

"I'm so tired Carson, I want you gone" my back turning to him as I made my way to my bed.

Pulling back the covers I slid in, my cheeks dampening my pillow. I was defeated, he won.

My eye closed as I whispered my parting words, "Go back to your females and leave me alone."

And he left.