14 years young
Octobe

"Vanya, can you please hold Roarke. You seem to be his favourite."

Her mouth spread wide as she handed her precious bundle to me. What a handsome little baby he was. Even with all his little wrinkles I could tell he would be a looker. Staring into his deep brown eyes I could almost drown out the noise, almost but when little Reina wanted to be heard she would be.

She was a spoilt little madam, being the youngest and all.

Neema's mouth tilted downwards as she bore holes into the little trouble maker in her arms, for twins they were very opposite little babies. Roarke was a calm baby, rarely crying unless he was hungry or needed a change and even then it would be this short little wail with crackles innit. As if he wanted to be heard but he didn't want to disturb your day, not Reina though. The princess had no care to anyone else not even her older brother.

"You listen here little lady I have about had it with your crying" groaned Neema, eyes heavy with the bags of her sleepless nights. Some nights they cried in synchronisation. I could hear them all the way down the hall.

"You don't want any milk, you don't need to be changed and you don't want your toy" her eyes rolling to the ceiling as she walked up and down, rocking the child in her arms.

"What do you want? except to drive me to my grave early" poor Neema was having a rough time with motherhood. It was difficult dealing with twins especially when you had 2 other children to deal with. I helped whenever I could. Which was often now that I was allowed to roam freely. I loved this new home of theirs, I had my own room and could go outside whenever I wanted. It was bliss. Even when Reina was driving us all up the wall.

"Stop crying, I need to finish decorating the hall for Vanya. Don't you want Aunty Vanya to have a nice birthday" she cooed in that weird baby talk, eyes blowing wide with animation as her voice went unbearably high pitched.

I looked down at Roarke, his mouth wide with mirth and his little pink gums on display. "Isn't your mummy weird" I whispered my fingers tickling under his fat chin. Drool dripped from his mouth as he gurgled in happiness. He wasn't old enough to start laughing yet but I knew he would be the first out of the two. He was the happy baby.

"How about we read my book the hidden life of trees" I whispered into his fat cheek before picking up my book with my free hand and finding my page. I had become a master at holding a child with one hand in no time.

My voice drowned out the sound of Reina's wailing. The soft tones of my voice lulling him to sleep. His dark lashes fluttering closed on his deep brown skin. He was the image of his father, soft wispy hair a contrast to his dark brown skin. The colour of cocoa so rich and soft. His face snuggled into my chest as I placed my book down on the table.

"You always manage to get him to sleep" chuckled Neema, her hair frazzled as she bounced the still crying girl in her arms.

"I think my books bore him" I joked, I was becoming good at those. In the 7 months I had been with this family I had begun to change. Not too much but I noticed that I made little jokes that had Neema laughing or that it was a bit easier for me to express my feelings.

My old friend still waved her black cape at me, the ends of her robe swishing as she tried to entice me to dance. I threw her in the corner where she belonged. Loneliness had no place in my life, not when I was surrounded by so many people.

"What is all this noise about, is my little princess missing her daddy" cooed Khan as he charged into the room. His presence larger than life. It was weird to see the stoic man show such emotion to his children, to just goof about. It was endearing really. It gave me hope. That persistent emotion always at the forefront of my thoughts.

"Mama" chortled Jana as she sprang at Neema's legs, her blonde hair swaying against her brown skin.

Caillum was close on her heels as he wrapped his arms around Neema's waist, his hand resting below her chest. He was growing fast. He would be 7 soon. Sometime in Novem, Neema remembered all their birthdays. Even mine.

I could remember the last birthday I had celebrated. It had been with my mama and papa, they had gotten me this cake from a packet that they had found in one of the abandoned buildings. It had been sweet and gooey and I had loved it. The three of us laughing and swiping each other with that gooey brown.

It had been the best birthday ever, just the three of us until life had invaded our home and turned it on its axis.

"Hello my little munchkins, how was your day." She questioned genuine interest in her eyes as she prodded them to speak, gently correcting any words they said incorrectly. Jana loved to make up words.

Beautifulerist was her favourite word right now but before that it had been disaponenement. Her small mouth tripping over the word always brought joy to any bad day I was having.

"Van, your hair is da Beautifulerist" she giggled as she climbed up in the chair beside me. Her tongue wagging out in her concentration.

"Watch how you climb, monkey" waved Khan as he took his youngest daughter into his arms and sat down in a chair opposite us. The little girl was dwarfed in his hands but he treated her with the utmost care.

"Thank you" murmured Neema as she kissed his stubbly cheeks, her lips close to his mouth. His head popped up as he gave her a quick peck on her lips before his focus was back on his youngest child. Her hands waving in the air as she squirmed in his embrace.

"Now I can finally get this damn hall decorated for tomorrow" she sighed, hands placed on her hips as she surveyed the room.

Feet pacing up and down as ideas popped into her head. She was a master party thrower; she had made this whole room pink for Jana's birthday in Augus. Everything was pretty and girly and of course climb proof. It had to be because Jana was forever climbing something.

The walls for her canvas were half exposed brick and half painted a pale beige colour. The yellow tone of the wall standing out against the reddish brown brick. Deep chandeliers hung from the high ceilings and paintings and photographs hung on the walls. The room was simple in its largeness. Many alcoves were empty, without the hard wooden tables and chairs the room would look bare.

What gave the room its personality was the glass doors that stretched from floor to ceiling and went from one side of the back wall to the next. The doors led straight out to the vast garden they had outside, trees and bushes and flowers. Lakes and even the beginning of a river ran through this large garden. It was more like a forest than anything else.

Neema planned to have the doors open so the little kids could play outside and we could cook food on a spit.

As it stood right now though we still had a long way to go until it was party ready.

//--//

I was ready. My pale skin was draped in a deep red dress that showed off the tiny little curves that my tall frame was beginning to develop. The bodice clung to my swelling chest and the dress pooled out in a soft material that swayed around my legs but still clung to me.

Neema had implored me to wear a more girly dress, something cute and flirty and pink. Something a little girl would wear but I wasn't a little girl anymore. I hadn't been for a while so I had battled her. Our first ever battle and in the end I had won. Her stubbornness giving up to my determination.

It was clear that these twins of hers were making her more placid but I didn't mind because I was able to wear my dress. The deep colour made my blonde hair stand out against my milky skin. A small amount of make-up was sprayed onto my face giving me a sultry but still youthful face.

I finally looked how I felt inside and I couldn't wait to debut the me I had always been. My body was filling out, getting slightly thicker both from the food and my natural hormones. My body was finally catching up to my mind and I loved it.

I twirled in front of the mirror loving the sight of me. Red and me had a love hate relationship. The colour looked so good on my skin but it had been the thing of nightmares when it gushed from my parents. When I wore red I not only saw who I was inside but I always always saw my parents. My beautiful, lovely parents.

My body swayed at the memory of my mothers eyes her beautiful brown hues that were always so expressive. And my fathers deep tan skin as he laughed at my burning mother, we couldn't take the sun or we would turn red. Red. That colour and me had been foes for as long as my loneliness had clung to me in her black cloak. Beckoning me.

My long fingers stroked the mirror, trying to touch the parts of my parents that I always saw in me. Mother's skin, father's eyes. Father's smile, mother's hair. I was the last living part of them. The mirror always showed me that and I honoured their presence, their life and mine in this pretty red dress.

"You ready, Vanya?" Called Sahina, her belly burgeoning with the life she was carrying. Her beautiful almond skin glistened, she glowed from the inside out. Her smiles infectious.

"Yes I am, Nina" a small endearment for the woman who had spent countless hours crafting this beautiful masterpiece.

"Lets go" excitement ringing in her words as her hand extended to me. My skin looked so pale against hers and I loved the contrast. Was this how we would look me and- my hope was blown away by my ever present friend. Her cape swishing as she forced my image of him away.

My loneliness was such a greedy thing. It was a parasite. Sucking and sucking until I was dry but this family had built a fountain of life around me. I could never run dry so I pushed that dark cloud back into the corner and stepped into the light of a room that was decorated just for me.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANYA" the crowd cheered, voices echoing as people laughed and clapped for me. Faces I didn't recognise and faces I could never forget, all here for me.

One face was missing but I put that to the back of my mind, I knew he would come.

"So birthday girl, what do you want to do first" asked Khan, at his words my eyes really took in the room and what was beyond it.

The effort put into this party was absolutely beautiful. There were flowers scattered all around the room, trees and plants in pots. There was a wall dedicated to the butterfly exhibit where we could see all the butterflies that roamed this land. Their colourful wings fluttering around in the glass before they would be released later on.

Outside there was food spinning on the spit. A trampoline course, where we could jump from one to the next. Flying like my namesake. There were tables and tables of food and sweets. There was a large chair dedicated to presents for me but more importantly there was a cake for me.

Even from here I could tell what flavour it would be.

"I want to see the butterflies" my throat quivering as tears gathered in my eyes, this was so overwhelming.

As if sensing my emotions Khan gripped my shoulder, the most contact we had ever had and nudged me towards the butterflies.

"Watch them fly, little butterfly" he whispered, mouth stretching wide as I flirted with the idea of flying with them.