A/N   I guess I should warn you that there is some girl action in here. It's mostly innocent and at the very end of the chapter but I'm just gonna let you know in case anyone is uncomfortable with it.

15  Years old
Novem to Juy

I spent two weeks in the infirmary recovering from a bad bout of sunburn. After the first day when I had woken up I was cleared to go home as long as someone was there to take care of me. The dressings on my back needed to be changed regularly until it was healed enough for me to visit the Laser Skin Regenerative Machine.

I had gaping wounds on my back that had gotten slightly infected from the blisters being ripped open when I was vomiting over the sink. The LSRM couldn't regenerate skin when it was in that state so I had been forced to heal naturally for a few days. In that time, I had needed a nurse that would be dedicated to helping me.

Neema had been adamant that she could do it but I didn't want to risk it. She had way too many kids to be able to dedicate time to me without wearing herself thin. So I opted to stay in the infirmary and that choice was made easier by Elizabeth, or as she preferred Eliza.

Our first encounter had been the beginning of something great. I had awoken in my yellow dreary room and then bam she had been right there in the bed next to mine. Her slanted hazel eyes had stared at me with open fascination, as her wavy dark brown hair whipped around her pale face. A large squeak had left her mouth as she clapped her hands like a deranged seal.

Her first line had been "Dayum girl, what happened to your hair, they look like my mums fried noodles"- and that had been it. She had endeared herself to me with her loud and quirky personality.

She was the opposite to me but in a comforting way not like before when I had strived to be something I wasn't. Eliza's personality was not attainable for me but it brought out that lighter side of mine, the side I ever knew I had.

Our time in the infirmary together had been amazing and I had stayed in their longer until she had recovered from her surgery. The moment she was, we had been released into the world and what a dynamic duo we made.

Neema called us trouble but there was a smile in her eyes when she said it, I had never seen that smile directed at me and I loved it. She still smiled at me like that. Even when she caught us climbing trees so we could peak at the boys bathing in the lake. You would think that Eliza would have learnt her lesson.

Climbing trees was the reason why she had been in the infirmary in the first place. Well falling from one was technically the reason but she didn't care.

She said that spying on the naked boys made her week and if she couldn't do it then her life was doomed- all of this in her always present over dramatic way. Fake tears gathering in her eyes as she threw her head back, her hand on her forehead as if she would faint in despair.

That girl was something else but she made my days have a bounce to it that was previously missing. She even gave me tips on Carson's "trifling ass".

For a small female- small to me who towered over her 5ft1 frame at 5ft7- she was a big character. Full of life and energy. She was becoming inseparable to me. Which was why 7 months down the line she was still at my side. She was the devil in my ear whispering naughty things behind cupped hands. She was such a lewd female but she made me realise that for all my thoughts on being a woman I wasn't one in the most basic way possible.

I didn't know about sex. I knew the basic logistics of it sure, penetration and pain unfathomable pain- but that was according to Eliza. Beyond that though I didn't know anything, well that was until her.

She told me everything. You would think she was a connoisseur on relations with the opposite sex with the things she came out with. Ways to arouse him, how to kiss, how to suck D- I'm not going to use the word she uses.

In reality though she was a virgin who had experience in most things except for the main stuff, like having sex and giving oral. She received but for some reason her male was reluctant to take from her.

This male that Eliza had been seeing for a while, often took her behind sheds and bushes but she said he was shy and didn't like to show her the goods.

Which was why we went through such a hassle to get up the damn trees to just so we could spy on naked male forms.

Our legs dangled in between the branches as we watched in apt attention at the naked forms of the growing males. In the last 5 months that we had been "bird watching" as Eliza liked to call it, we had seen them transform. From skinny and gangly to tall and slightly broader.

At first I had felt bad that we were watching them, it was wrong but then Eliza had reminded me that we all had showers and baths. These males had no reason to bathe naked in public unless of course they wanted attention.

They definitely had ours. Eliza's eyes were blown wide as she forced her wavy brown hair from her face, her hand falling to rest on her chest as she stared in wonder. Drool gathered at the comers of her lips as she salivated like a bitch in heat. Her blinking count minimised to once a minute, she was dedicated.

"What are you guys doing up there" came that familiar voice from way down below.

Eliza's eyes blew out even wider and her hand jumped to her mouth as she tried to tamp down the giggles climbing from her throat. I shot her a dirty look, telling her to keep quite but that female never listened.

"We're just, you know, watching some birds. They have grown rather large" she snickered, nose wrinkling at her dry joke.

I would have pushed her from the damn tree if she hadn't just recovered not too long ago from the same accident.

"Are you gonna come down Butterfly" his question didn't require an answer because he already knew the answer. So sure that I would always hear his call and I did because in the past few month's things had gone back to how they had been before we had moved.

I saw him more and his females seemed to be scarce. I knew he still had them because he would still disappear for days on end but now he knew to take care when I was around. I didn't need to see the signs of his infidelity and that was what it was.

I was stuck being loyal to this damning bond while he was out there traipsing around like a "THOT". Eliza and her old world lingo.

We had briefly discussed the whole incident with me burning my skin but I hadn't wanted to dwell on that ugly part of my life. It was done and over with and from it I got Eliza and a patchy back full of discoloured skin. The LSRM couldn't heal me of everything. I thought it was ugly but Eliza told me I looked exotic, unique- as exotic as I cow in my opinion but I let her say what she felt.

Carson apologised for the incident and out of it came a sort of truce, we spent time together now and it was always nice. Plain and staid nice. There was none of the things Eliza told me a guy did if he really liked you. No touching, kissing or you know touching. We were just back to the basics which was better than nothing I guess but that part of me that was always greedy for him, wanted more. Demanded it really.

I climbed down from the tree leaving Eliza to continue her voyaging without me so I could spend time with this male.

"I like your hair" his fingers reaching out to twine one of the short wavy locks in his hand. My hair was reverted back to its original colour and as far as the curls went the majority of the perm had either grown out or been cut out gradually. It was one of the first things I had done when I was discharged from the infirmary.

"I was thinking of shaving it off" I had toyed with the idea of cutting it all off for a while now. Starting completely fresh.

My hair was shoulder length for now but the ends were a lot more brittle and darker than the rest of my hair. The ends were limp and lifeless, a shell to their former beauty but I was reluctant to let it go. For this reason, exactly.

Carson's face was aghast at the idea I had painted in his mind, face twisted in horror making me want to laugh.

"Uhh no, it would be like seeing a boy" her grunted, head shaking as he pulled one of the fine strands in his fingers.

"It's not like you are seeing me in the way a man sees a woman, so what difference does it make to you?" I grunted in annoyance, I was becoming a lot more vocal these days.

"What do you even know about the ways men and women see each other" he snickered, eyes rolling but a smile climbing over his face at the humour he found in the situation.

"I'm not an idiot, I know there is kissing and-" I hesitated for a moment, my tongue tripping over words before I settled for "touching."

"Touching?" He laughed, head falling back as he lightly mocks my words.

"There is more than just touching Vanya, I can assure you of that." Of course he would know, the man had been around the compound and back. He had even ventured outside the compound walls to wet his appetite. Filth.

"I know that as well, there is sex and all the foreplay that goes with it." My words causing his smile to fall as his eyes widened in shock and then shuttered in anger.

"Who has been telling you about sex?" Fire spitting from his mouth and boiling in his eyes.

"Does it matter? It wasn't you that's for sure." Shoulders shrugging nonchalantly as if I didn't know what my words did to him.

"That's not an answer. Which boys have been approaching you."

I gave him no answer, my face turning up to the bright sun as I ignored his questions. I hated the accusations in his words, even if they were laced with jealousy that had my skin sizzling.

How could he accuse me of something when he was the one acting out on his feelings. I felt the need to be touched just as much as he did but I ignored those hormones out of respect for him and this bond. He couldn't give me the same courtesy but had the audacity to accuse me! What a male he was becoming.

"Vanya" he shouted voice rising at my prolonged silence.

My eyes rolled heavenward as I silently begged the gods to give me strength to deal with this toxic relationship. He didn't want me but he didn't want anyone else to have me either.

My finely spun vision of him was beginning to crumble and I was starting to see glimpses of the real him. I didn't like what I was seeing. He was becoming a selfish and self-important male, having no regards to me or his family.

Neema wasn't dumb she could see that we were mates. She knew what he was doing and the more toxic this relationship became the sooner she would have to choose. Could Carson not see what he was doing to his family. His actions would force them to pick sides and there was not one doubt in my mind that Neema wouldn't choose me.

"None yet but they will soon," I spoke with utmost confidence in my appeal.

"I see how they look at me and Eliza assures me that the look a man gives his woman before sex is just as important as the one he gives during."

It was astounding to see the changes I had made in less than a year. A few months ago I couldn't look at myself in the mirror without wishing to look like anyone else but me. Now look, now I knew that my skin was my glory. I had to wear my skin and be proud with everything, be confident in my skin. And with that confidence came male attention whether I wanted it or not.

"What would Eliza know, she's a little girl. You both are" he laughed, mocking my truths as if they were childish garble. He would learn though.

"You keep saying that but those boys don't see that. They see my body." I taunted him, my hands gliding down my body to showcase what these growing boys saw in me. What I saw in me.

"They see my wide hips, my thick thighs." My fingers brushed over my hips, glided down to my thighs before rushing back up to my chest. Gently sweeping against my collarbones I finished my show.

"My large breasts. Just because you don't see me doesn't mean no one else does." My chin was jutted out in defiance.

"I see you Vanya but you're just too damn young" he cursed, hands fisting at his side before he stormed off away from me.

Uncontrollable anger filtered through my body and stung my eyes raw with my restrained emotions. I craved to slash at his skin and just rip him to shreds but I didn't. I fought my emotions down and stormed off behind him.

I wasn't about to chase after him, I was going to get even. If this male didn't want to help me then I would seek someone else who would.

"Eliza," I shouted my head pointed up at the tree as I called for her.

"Teach me how to be a woman" I called. My words getting the desired affect as she all but fell from the tee, leaves dragging with her as she tumbled to the ground.

"Finally she panted" dusting the leaves and twigs off of her body.

"So first things first, you got to have your first kiss." She cooed her face getting closer to mine as she puckered her lips.

My body automatically tilted away from her but she gripped my shoulders in a firm hold and pulled me closer.

"Don't move," she murmured just before her warm small lips touched mine. Her mouth slowly moving as she coaxed mine to move. She kissed me for what felt like hours but was surely only seconds. Tongues and lips twisting together as we got into a rhythm. My chest grew heavy with arousal and it was enough to shock me out of the kiss.

Once it was over there was no awkwardness between us like I expected. It had just been one experienced friend helping her less experienced one out.

Her kiss gave me confidence that I was well on my way to becoming a woman. If Carson ever tried to kiss me now, I wouldn't be shy or awkward. I would know exactly what to do.

"Now that we have that out of the way, we need to work on the way you seduce guys."

She had that mischievous glint in her eyes, her hands rubbing together as she got excited at the prospect of finally braking me out of my shell.