"The future is uncertain but the end is always near." ~ Jim Morrison

*****

~Amber~

The halls are dressed in black and white and the tiles are a checker board with humans as the pieces. The whole building sends a chill down my spine and reminds me of something out of my nightmares. I do not want to be here, I think and stupidly I've brought Finch into this too.

I take his hand, holding on tightly, trying to prepare for the cameras and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go. I look at Finch, his face etched with worry, one that I had never seen before, despite all we've been through these past weeks.

Even when I failed.

He looks down at me, his chocolate brown eyes showing a kind of gentle concern but I know it is the mask behind a face of distress and panic. I want to wipe it away, all the pain, but I can't.

Because I am the cause of the pain. How stupid could I have been when I thought a young, ignorant girl like me, could save the town? Was I trying to be Superwoman? Ha, ha that really failed, didn't it? Finch lays his hand lightly on my shoulder and speaks with a soft voice that seems to calm me more than his actual words. How could I have not considered my actions, when they profoundly effected him too? I nod, only vaguely aware of what he said, before looking up at the wall.

Against the washed out tones of grey, the red clock ticks like the timer on a bomb, dragging me forward to the time of doom. I know I can't avoid it no more than the beating of my own heart as it pounds against its own cage of bone and cartilage. The agony is an invisible demon sitting heavy on my shoulder; my head becoming a little giddy with all of the thoughts bashing around in my head. All I can do is wait on this plastic chair until they are ready for me: the failure.

"Amber, the public are ready for you."

The public. What were they but a gossip spreading monster, one that could kill if you didn't go along with its wants. Finch hugs me tightly, giving me a sad, reassuring smile before I am tugged away towards the grand doors.

Dread owns me, pushing against me like an invisible gale, attempting to reverse my steps back into Finch's warm embrace, back into the comfort of my own bed in my home. Dread has my stomach locked up tight, sets my face like a blank wall and slams my teeth together. But unless I can turn back time, decline the idea of being a heroic savior and inject amnesia into the minds of the public, it's too late. My time has come.

The doors open and I walk forward to face the crowds. It seems like everyone's eyes are on me, closed mouths and cold stares. The only noise is the clicking of the blindingly bright, flashing cameras, intent on getting a picture of the town failure. This is it, this is where my actions have lead me. I walk slowly, as if time would slow down and I wouldn't have to face my sentence; watching the sea of disapproving faces.

Then I see it.

In the mist of the waves, those unmistakable green eyes of his. Bright, emerald green eyes that were once glazed with tender love; eyes that let the memories amongst the misty haze of my mind tumble out of its box, replaying them like an old movie reel.

The memory has no smells or weather, other than a lack of rain. The garden is in fine detail: the crab apple tree, the rhododendron bush, the weeds in the flower beds. But the finest detail is his face, creased with love and lit up with happiness, his eyes glistening with the twinkle of laughter like jewels that had been caught in a moment of perfection. He's laughing, relaxed after mowing the lawn. He asks me if I want an aeroplane ride and of course I do, what four year old doesn't? In moments, he has my right wrist and ankle. He spins like a shot-putter, but he never lets go. The garden turns into a green blur, I'm flying. Flying until he can spin no more.

I pull out of the past, panic starting to rise in my chest as I fail to find the soft warm eyes of my childhood memories but instead eyes that stare at me with disgust. Disappointment. I feel a intense pang in my heart. He, the owner of the green eyes, shakes his head and walks away. Like I am just a stranger.

Failure.

I don't know how I feel, numb and emotionless yet overwhelmed with agony. As if my muscles are trying not to let another breath in, but instead to die.

Failure.

What I once treasured is now a memory, a shadow lingering in the depths of my mind. Like a limb torn from my body without the chance to save it, I am losing him. My father. Breath shallow, I feel my lungs unable to move much against the suddenly heavy ribs, an hard painful lump stuck in the back of my throat as the tears began to form. Lost and heartbroken, my mind is like static, thoughts making no sense; only one thing clear in my mind.

Failure.

I freeze, unable to cope with the whirl of pain in my heart and all of sudden, crumple under the bright lights of the moment, like a puppet released from its strings, into a world of darkness.

*****

AN: Okay, I've had Wattpad for a while and basically I FINALLY decided to write one of my story ideas. Yay. It will probably be slow updates tho.

Also, every chapter I'm gonna put a song on the top that expresses the chapter well or one that I have been binging (is that a word?) on while writing...check it out :))

Finally, remember to read, vote and comment. ;)

Hanshi x